Crazy criminals there are lots of stories about how stupid criminals can be

25 Stupid Criminals Who Got Caught For Ridiculous Reasons

Posted by Theodorus II, Updated on November 12, 2021

Criminals are often very dangerous individuals, but what about stupid criminals? There are plenty of genius criminals, possessing IQs high enough to commit perfect crimes. Then there are those criminals whose stupidity leaves you wondering, “How in the world have they survived this long”? Dumb criminals are just as dangerous, if not more so, because they might end up hurting themselves or someone else. However, thanks to their stupidity, they get caught by the police and thrown in jail. Here are 25 stupid criminals who got caught for ridiculous reasons.

Betrayed By His Methamphetamines

Christopher Wilson thought that he had organized “the perfect crime” when he entered a home-improvement store in Washington to steal the goods he desired but he wasn’t all that careful. Apparently, Wilson accidentally dropped his bottle of methamphetamines during his lame attempt at committing a crime, and with it his name and phone number for the clerks and police officers to discover.

A Teen Robber Who “Donated” Both His Wallet and ID

An eighteen-year-old teen named Steven Diaz from Pasadena, California, wanted to have drinks with friends and passed by Vons supermarket to shoplift a bottle of wine. As the teen tried to get away from the shop, he punched a security guard and dropped his wallet, ID, and the wine. Of course, he was easily tracked down by the police and arrested shortly after his stupid action.

The Intruder Who Loved His Cleanliness a Little Too Much

A really weird dude once raided a house in Texas at four in the morning and naturally scared the hell out of the owner who fled, immediately calling the police. When the officers arrived on the scene, they couldn’t believe their eyes. They were surprised to find that the intruder hadn’t stolen or broken a thing (other than the door) and that all he wanted was apparently a warm bath.

Forgotten Counterfeit Bills

A con artist specializing in producing counterfeit money and false documents was really unhappy with the new printer he bought from a Target in Augusta, GA, so he decided to take it back and ask for a different one. His demand was satisfied but unfortunately the clerk noticed some “work” the customer forgot to remove from the old printer—a few counterfeit bills that, of course, cost him his freedom.

The Thieves Who Left Their Bumper Behind with the License Plate Attached

A Man Got Caught Simply Because He Couldn’t Control His Bowels

The residents of the Woodland Heights area of Houston were terrorized by a man who had been repeatedly going to the bathroom in their yards, leaving quite the mess behind. For that reason one of them placed a camera in a nearby tree to catch the suspect in action. An older, bald-headed man with a funny mustache and tight shorts was busted on camera entering one “bathroom” after another in the neighborhood, leaving a huge mess that he didn’t bother to clean up.

Housebreaker Gets Away but His Pants Stay Behind

When the police arrested eighteen-year-old Benjamin C. Hoppe he only had on a sweatshirt, red boxers, and a white sock on his left foot. Why? A few hours earlier he had broken into the home of an old, fat bartender who wrestled the kid to the ground and made him cry before he squirmed out of his shoes and pants and ran from the house. Hopefully, he learned his lesson and will do the right thing from now on.

Graffiti Suspect Tagged Courtroom to Prove His “Innocence”

A teen accused of multiple counts of doing graffiti in San Diego was arrested for vandalism after he allegedly tagged the inside of the the San Diego Superior Court. The tag led investigators right to his location. The teen, who pled not guilty, had even left his mark in the same courtroom he was prosecuted in. What can you say? The boy’s an artist and the world is his canvas.

The Burglar Who Forgot His Dentures at the Scene of the Crime

One day Justin Stansfield, a British heroin addict and thief, broke into a garage to steal valuable items so he could sell it and buy his next fix. While in the garage, he found a freezer full of cold beers and Popsicles. He decided to have some fun, instead. He took out his fake teeth to enjoy a couple of Popsicles after he downed a few beers. But before he left, he forgot to put his teeth back in. This dumb act cost him sixteen months behind bars.

A Way Too Grateful Employee

Graham Price of south Wales was a hard-working and honest employee who couldn’t hide how grateful he was to his bosses, even when he decided to rip off the bank where he worked. So, before he stole the money he needed, he made sure to leave a note with his signature, explaining: “Borrowed, seven million pounds. Thank you.”

The Anger-Management Homework that Betrayed its Owner

At a bus stop in St. Paul, Minnesota, Justin John Boudin, a hot-tempered man, was involved in an argument with a woman whom he cowardly punched in the face. He also attacked another person who was standing there, which caused him to drop his folder on the ground. He didn’t retrieve the folder before he fled. The cops, who arrived at the scene a few minutes later, easily tracked Boudin thanks to what was inside his folder—his anger-management homework.

The Case of the Bungling Burglar

What if we told you a thief got caught because he forgot to take the money he was supposed to steal? A gunman once broke into a convenience store in Indiana, tied up the cashier, and fled. But he left behind the money. When he realized his mistake, he went back. Unfortunately for him, by that time the door had automatically locked with the loot just sitting there “staring” at him as the police arrested him.

The Crook with the “Long” Trail of White Cash Register Tape

A Bad Criminal and an Even Worse Father

This is one of those cases where you aren’t sure how to properly respond to what you read—whether you should laugh about the criminal’s stupidity or feel sad for his young son. Apparently, this idiotic thief decided to take his son along when he robbed a pet shop, but he was so busy counting the money that he totally forgot about his son whom he left behind. All police officers had to do after that was ask the child for the name of his idiotic father.

The Thief Who Wanted to Flirt

Scottish shoplifter Aaron Morrison might be one of the silliest thieves in history. After Morrison stole a bottle of vodka from a liquor store, he had the nerve to flirt with the shop clerk and gave her his name and number. Well, let’s just say it didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to trace his whereabouts after that.

Burglar Leaves DNA Behind Just Because He Was Too Thirsty

A thief in Portland, Oregon, broke into a house, went through every inch of the property, opened all the drawers, and stole everything of value he could find without leaving any fingerprints. However, what appeared to be almost the perfect robbery was ruined when the thief grabbed a container of orange juice from the refrigerator and took a gulp directly from it, leaving it in the sink. The container was sent straight to the DNA testing unit at the Oregon State Crime Lab in Clackamas where forensic scientists found a match. Christopher Lathrop quickly confessed after he was arrested and will probably never drink orange juice again.

Thief Sells a Stolen Bike Back to His Victim and Gets Caught

Marque Moore, a fifty-seven-year-old man from Richmond, California, is a serial bike thief. After investigating Moore’s home, they found he had been systematically stealing bikes, bike equipment, and a few other things. The list included ten bicycles, fifty-seven bicycle tires, twenty-four bicycle wheels, twenty-one bike seats, four bicycle frames, a gun, and ammunition. How did he get caught? He tried to sell a bike online—through Craigslist—to the person he had stolen it from without even knowing it.

The “Genius” Who Stole Gas from a Police Car and Posted it on Facebook

In 2012, a young boy from Jenkins, Kentucky, named Michael Baker decided to get his small town in the national headlines. What did he do, you ask? After he siphoned gas from a local police car, he posed next to it with a smile (while also proudly giving the finger) for the camera and then posted the photo on Facebook. The photo went viral with thousands of views but a couple of days later the police knocked on his door and arrested him.

Writing a Book Based on the Crime He Committed

Polish author Krystian Bala became a victim of his own arrogance and delusion when he thought he was above the law. After brutally murdering Dariusz Janiszewski in 2000 and getting away with it, he decided to write a novel named Amok that included a ridiculously similar murder to the one he was involved in three years before. The case was reopened and after a detailed investigation, he surrendered and confessed.

The Thief Who Couldn’t Climb

John Pearce, a thirty-two-year-old British wannabe thief, realized too late that a daylight burglary requires natural athleticism and more specifically, climbing skills. Are you wondering how he came to this conclusion? Poor John tried to break into a house by climbing through the window but his foot got caught, leaving his backside dangling in view of passersby on the busy sidewalk. Eventually the police arrived and he was arrested, but not before being ruthlessly humiliated and mocked by the pedestrians who couldn’t resist laughing at and joking about his situation.

The Drunk Woman Who Always Keeps Her (One) Eye on the Road

A fifty-six-year-old Swedish woman made one of the most ludicrous claims you will ever hear in your lifetime. What did she say? During her trial for drunk driving, she claimed that the alcohol could not affect her driving because she kept one eye open to avoid seeing double. The judges laughed and sentenced her to two months in prison.

The Dude Who Went to Apply For Welfare With “His” H2 Hummer

What would you think if you saw a man who drives a Hummer applying for welfare? Wouldn’t you think it a little fishy and suspicious? This is exactly what was going through the local sheriff’s mind in Jonesville, Virginia, when he saw William Anderson driving his H2 Hummer to social services to apply for welfare. After the sheriff checked the car’s plates, he found out what he suspected—the vehicle was stolen and the clueless thief was arrested.

Murderer Gets Caught for Tattooing the Crime Scene to His Chest

Anthony Garcia, a Los Angeles gang member, killed an innocent person during a robbery that took place in a liquor shop, but he got away with it simply because there was not enough evidence against him. However, only four years later Garcia was arrested for driving with a suspended license and the policemen noticed an unusual tattoo on his chest while taking his mug shot. After examining it and paying attention to its details and symbols the police realized that Garcia had tattooed the crime scene on himself with every little detail. Needless to say, justice was finally served.

Thief Falls Asleep Under Victim’s Bed While at “Work”

Mark Smith thought he was Britain’s baddest thief when he broke into Heather Stephenson’s home (while she was there ironing) to steal all he could from her jewelry box, but unfortunately for this “genius,” the vodka and Valium he had taken earlier took its toll. As a result, Smith took a nap as a free man under Heather’s bed and woke up several hours later behind bars.

Simply Put: The Worst American Burglar in History

Fort Myers Beach, Florida, can be proud of producing the worst, and possibly funniest, amateur American criminal who ever lived. Christopher Kron created his own personal “legend” when he tried to rob a closed restaurant. First, he tripped the alarm when he broke in. He didn’t listen to or just didn’t care about the NON-SILENT alarm. When ADT called the restaurant after receiving the alarm signal, Kron answered the phone and, pay attention here, gave the ADT employee his real name. When he finally decided to leave, all he took was a bottle of Grand Marnier and a beer.

So, you probably think that was the end of it, right? Well there’s more. Believe it or not, Kron managed to get away with his illegal act but made sure to return to the restaurant the next day where an employee who had seen the surveillance video recognized him. Kron was arrested. If there were an award for the dumbest criminal in history, he would be a very serious contender.

10 Criminals Caught Due to Mere Stupidity

10 Criminals Caught Due to Mere Stupidity

The crime stories we always come across leave most of us in awe because of how cleverly human minds were at work to achieve the perfect execution of a plan. Many movies and literature have also been written on this topic that highly glorifies breaking the laws. But there are also incidents that were not as well-planned that have become the ultimate blunder. These have made news because of stupid criminals. Here are 10 criminals who got caught due to their stupidity.

Two would-be robbers phoned in before pulling off a heist at a People’s Bank in Fairfield, Connecticut. The robber called in advance to the branch and demanded the money be ready. He also mentioned there would be a “bloodbath” if his demands were not met.

The employee who received the call hung up immediately and called 911. The bank went under lockdown, and one of the caller’s accomplices was already inside the bank. The accomplice handed over a note to the teller while the employee was on a call with the police.

The police arrested both of them without much of an incident. One was a juvenile and the other a 27-year-old. Both were charged with first-degree robbery and threatening bodily harm. The police officers reported that they had a good laugh on the calling-ahead aspect of the robbery. ( Source )

Both of them were from Grand Prairie, Alberta, Canada, and they worked together breaking into several businesses from Grand Prairie to Dawson Creek. A Dawson Creek spokesperson said to the media that they were not the world’s brightest criminals after they were found passed out behind the wheel with the stolen goods.

3 A robber accidentally handed over a gun instead of a bag to the teller during the robbery and gets himself in trouble. The thief was raiding the Halifax Bank in Cheapside, City of London.

In January 2012, Halifax Bank was raided by a thief who demanded 70,000 euros in cash from a bank worker. After making these demands, the stupid criminal, who was wearing a flat cap and shades, handed over his gun instead of the bag to the teller.

The bank employee froze when the gun was offered to him, he grabbed it and made a run to ensure the security shutters would come down and trap the thief. The alarm was raised immediately, but the thief escaped in one of the bank employees’ vehicles.

The bank put up a reward of 25,000 euros for more information on the robbery. The guess is that he panicked and he was inexperienced to make such a mistake. ( Source )

4 Ruben Zarate, an 18-year-old, was shot and wounded by the police for robbery. The suspect came to a muffler shop armed and asked for the money in the safe. After employees told him only the owner knows the combination, he left his phone number with the employees to call him so he could come back later when the owner is back.

In this bizarre case, the suspect left two phone numbers with the store on March 26, 2008, in a northwest side muffler shop in Chicago. The employees said a masked man with a revolver came around by 8 a.m. demanding money but was told that the boss was not available to open the safe.

The stupid criminal brain of the teen thought it will be a good idea to leave his phone number. He threatened to shoot the employees if they didn’t do as asked by the robber. They called Chicago police and informed them about the incident. Officers in plainclothes came over to the store and then called the number.

The man returned around noon wearing the same mask and black clothing. When the teen tried to pull a gun out of his sweatshirt, one of the officers opened fire. He was treated for a wound, which was reported to be not life-threatening. ( Source )

5 A Boston robber, Zachary Tentoni, was caught after accidentally leaving a birth certificate and note from his mom at the crime scene. He was charged for snatching a woman’s wallet and booked for unarmed robbery.

On the top of one of the bags were a letter that Tentoni’s mother had written to him and his birth certificate. Police were able to find the man matching the description within hours. He was found just a block away.

Stupid Criminals – Dumbest Robbers

Here is our collection of bungling burglars, enept robbers and dumb
criminals. One feature we noticed is that every country seems to
have it’s share of brainless lawbreakers.

Phone a Bungling Burglar!

A bungling burglar in the USA has been arrested after he left his mobile
phone on charge at the house of one of his victims. The man was disturbed
while rifling through rooms in the house in Washington DC and jumped out of
a window to escape Will and Guy have learned.

Police searched the house later and were surprised to find a cell phone,
that didn’t belong to anyone at the house, charging in a socket.

Officers called one of the numbers in his contacts, told them the phone
owner had been involved in an accident and asked for his name. That led to
the 25 year old man being arrested and later charged with ten burglaries.

Dutch Bungling Burglar

A stupid criminal was caught after he fell down a chimney while escaping over
the roof of a house he had just broken into. Police in Maastricht, Holland,
arrested the 33-year-old after being called out by the house owners who heard
his calls for help. The man had tried to flee out of a roof window with his
booty of cash and jewellery, but tumbled in the dark and got stuck inside the
chimney.

Another Bungled Chimney Burglar Story

A burglar who got stuck in a chimney while trying to break in to a Los Angeles home has been jailed for two years. Bungling
burglar Marco Antonio Espinoza was also ordered to pay the owners of the house more than £5,000 [$9,993.20 USD] to repair the damage done when fire fighters freed him.

When he was caught, he told the police
that he was doing building work on the house.

A ‘would be’ robber had to drop his bank looting plans after he forgot to take with him a bag into which the stolen money could be put.

Apparently,
the young man in his 20’s, entered a local Chase Bank branch early on Monday morning and passed the cashier a piece of cardboard on which was written ‘Give me your money,’ reported the Detroit News.

He told
the bank teller to ‘hurry up,’ but when she asked him if he had a bag to put the money into he became flustered and confused and ran off without the cash.

More Stories of Inept Lawbreakers

The Bungled Get Away

The two criminal masterminds planned their heist carefully. They knew
the courier would have a suitcase full of cash. They waited for his car to pass, then pursued him at high speed, shooting at the vehicle until the courier was forced to pull over.

Police spokesman Johann Steinlitz said, ‘If
there was an award for the dumbest crooks they would certainly be in the running.

But even though they did not get what they were after, we are still investigating for attempted armed robbery and endangering
lives. Luckily the courier was not harmed in the incident.’

Funny Crime Story From the UK

Burglar in
Slough, England

A suspected burglar put in handcuffs after his arrest, attacked a woman police officer and then escaped by driving off in her car. The female officer was driving the man to Slough police station when he
forcibly took control of the car.

The man, one of three arrested on suspicion of burglary, dumped the car in Keel Drive about six minutes away. The suspect is described as Asian, in his mid 20s and
about 5ft 8in tall. He may still be wearing handcuffs.

A police spokesperson said, ‘This is a serious incident which could have led to the officer and members of the public being seriously hurt.
Thankfully, neither was injured, ‘I would appeal to anyone who knows the whereabouts of this bungling burglar to contact us immediately.’

Twitchy Robber?

Two robbers in Michigan, USA, entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, ‘Nobody move!’

When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

A car thief who ran out of petrol in rush hour traffic was arrested after police helped him push the stolen vehicle to the side of the road reports The Moscow Times. Helpful officers in Moscow, Russia, were
about to leave the scene and let Alexei Ashurin wait for breakdown services when they noticed the red 15 year old Volkswagen’s lock was broken and a screwdriver was sticking out of the ignition.

After
checking the number plate, they discovered the vehicle had been stolen and that Ashurin was wanted for a string of other motoring thefts. He admitted to stealing the car and
this stupid criminal is now facing up to two years in prison.

A Funny Magistrates
Court Story

This hilarious story was researched online by Will and Guy and may make
you laugh at the stupidity of some crooks. We cannot, however, vouch for its
veracity.

A man arrived the magistrates court, he was charged with impersonating a
policeman.

On arrival he was wearing a blue baseball cap with the word ‘police’ on
it; a fluorescent yellow jacket, with ‘police’ on it, he was carrying a
truncheon, a can of CS spray, and he had blue flashing lights in his car.

You will, no doubt wish to know how he came to be arrested. It apparently
happened like this: he flagged down a car with two men in it, pulled them
over and said ‘Police. You’re nicked.’

You could not invent a story like it.

A Banana?

Another Funny Bungling Burglar Tale From Mexico

Robbers broke into the Telefonica Movistar cell-phone store in Morelia,
Mexico recently with the aim of stealing some mobile phones.

Employees explained to Will and Guy that the bungling burglars overlooked
real cell phones and cash in another part of the shop.

Man Drops Swag, Locks Keys In Getaway Car, Shoots Himself
— Surely
One of The Dumbest Criminals:

When he reached his hired getaway car this stupid criminal realised that he had locked his
keys inside. This bungling burglar promptly took to his heels and fled the
scene on foot followed by two passersby who grabbed him. The fleeing felon
attempted to pull out his gun but failed, and shot himself in his leg but
kept fighting his would be arresters; one of whom shot the suspect.

The local police have charged the robber with 8 felonies, including
robbery and 2 counts of attempted murder. The suspect was attended to in
hospital and recovered.

No, you couldn’t make it up

Footnote
Please send us your stupid criminal story.

See more bank jokes, bungled robberies and funny money stories:

Funny Crime Stories

We have collected funny crime stories, featuring lawyers, bank
robbers and court proceedings. As usual we have tremendous
variety, not only in the topics, but through the medium of pictures,
video and of course text. We hope you find and amusing crime story
to suit your mood.

Other Joke Sections

Funny Crime Stories (On This Page)

You could not make up these funny tales of bungling burglars, say Will
and Guy

Man Drops Swag, Locks Keys In Getaway Car, Shoots Himself
— Read
All About It Here:

When he reached his hired getaway car he realised that he had locked his
keys inside. This bungling burglar promptly took to his heels and fled the
scene on foot followed by two passersby who grabbed him. The fleeing felon
attempted to pull out his gun but failed, and shot himself in his leg but
kept fighting his would be arresters; one of whom shot the suspect.

The local police have charged the robber with 8 felonies, including
robbery and 2 counts of attempted murder. The suspect was attended to in
hospital and recovered.

No, you couldn’t make it up

Bungling Burglar Breaks Bone:

Inept Burglar Beaten by Victim

Police are searching for an inept burglar who was beaten by his victim;
the beating was inflicted by a 42-year-old woman who discovered the man in
her back garden in Norwich, Norfolk, England. He tried to flee but got stuck
on a fence and the woman thrashed him with a bamboo cane.

This bungling burglar ran away and later knocked over a broom in a garden
nearby; he then, apparently became dazzled by a bright security light and
fell into a garden pond before making his escape.

Bungling Burglar Hangs Around to Wait for Police to Arrive

A Victorian house in Dartford, Kent, England was the scene for this
hilarious story of failure. The robber, armed with only a hammer attempted
to smash his way into the house through the front windows.
The man
somehow got his foot caught and unable to free himself, was left hanging
upside down in the window frame for more than an hour as a crowd of 30
neighbours and passers-by gathered to ridicule him in Dartford, Kent. One
wag told Will and Guy that he called out, ‘Hang in there, mate’ to the would
be robber.
Police were seen laughing as they arrested the bungler.

Bungling Burglar Gases Himself

While trying to steal a gas cooker from a house he had forcibly entered
this would be burglar nearly killed himself. Ripping the cooker from the
wall he fractured the gas mains and gassed himself.

The young man, aged 20, had already handed out a mirror and 3 television
to his accomplice outside. He became overwhelmed by the gas fumes and he
found himself fighting to breathe as the gas pipe fractured. He managed to
stagger outside where he phones 999 and reported the leak before falling
unconscious.

After treatment from paramedics the bungling burglar was arrested.

No, you couldn’t make it up.

Five Hilarious, Witty, Short and True Funny Crime Stories

Funny Crime Stories (Snippets from our other pages)

Funny Courtroom Exchanges Between Lawyers and Witnesses

Accident?
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the car crash?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Which Location?
Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Eye Queue
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Horn Player
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?

A: After the accident?

Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played horn for ten years. I even went to school for it.

See lots more funny courtroom
exchanges

Lawyer on
Holiday

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.

The lawyer said, ‘I’m here because my house burned down, and all I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for
everything and I’m using some of the insurance money for this trip.’

‘That’s quite a coincidence,’ said the engineer.
‘I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my
insurance company also paid for everything.’

The lawyer looked confused. ‘How do you start a flood?’

See more funny lawyer
jokes and yarns

More Funny Crime Stories

Bank Robbery

A man attempted to rob a Bank of America located in San Francisco. He walked into the branch and wrote,
‘this iz a stikkup. Put all
your muny in this bag’.

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors that he wasn’t the brightest tool in the box, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ‘OK,’ and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of
America. See more tales of funny
bank robberies

Ketchup or Ketch-down?

Two thieves armed only with tomato ketchup ambushed a supermarket employee as
he was taking cash to the bank, Greek police have reported.

Police later apprehended the two men. However, the ketchup is still on
the run.

Robber Attempts Bank Heist

Sorry, sir, we can’t open the door as this branch is closed for
training. Amused staff who were participating in a training session on
an early closing day at the bank watched as he hammered on the door with
his gun demanding to be let in, police in Kirchheim, Austria, have
informed Will and Guy. The hopeless would be robber fled empty handed with
bank staff’s laughter ringing in his ears.

The prospective crook, wearing a Barack Obama mask then drove away.

Credit Crunch One Liners

* The Isle of Dogs is part of the East End of London, think of one of the
loops in the river Thames.

See more jokes and funny
pictures of the credit crunch

Is this a Labrador puppy with a ‘Lops’ rabbit?

See more examples of funny
identity theft.

I wonder if they take turns?

Or could it be a case of, ‘There are those who shoot, and those who hold targets?’

Footnote:
Please send us your funny crime story.

Top 10 Stupid Criminals and Crazy Crimes

When we watch crime shows on TV, often criminals are made out to be clever and cunning, hatching the most ingenious plans to carry out their capers. However, in reality, there are very few criminals who are actually like this, and most of them stand no chance of escaping the law, partly because they’re… well… not the brightest crayons in the pack. Read on to find out about 10 of the stupidest criminals who didn’t make their great escape.

1.

And finally, a suspect who was being interrogated by police became a victim to their cunning trap. They placed a metal colander on his head, and used wires to attach it to a photocopier. They placed a sheet with the words “He’s lying” printed on it inside the photocopier, and each time they thought he was lying, they pressed the copy button. The suspect believed that the “lie detector” was real, and eventually confessed to his crime.

2.

This one is actually pretty clever from the defendant’s side, but the situation itself is wonderfully stupid. When a man was accused of burglary, his lawyer tried to defend him in court by stating that he merely put his arm through a window and removed a few items, and you cannot punish an entire person for the work of one of their limbs. To this the judge said, “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment.” He also made the mistake of saying the defendant could choose whether or not to accompany his arm in prison, not realising that he happened to be the owner of an artificial arm. The defendant and his lawyer removed the arm, placed it on the bench, and left.

3.

A robber was waiting in line at a downtown Bank of America after having written a particularly badly spelled note to give the teller, informing them of his intentions. However, after a few minutes, he began to fear that somebody had seen him write the note and called the police, so instead he made his way to Wells Fargo across the street. He waited in line there, and gave his note to the teller, who read it and judged from the spelling that he must not have been too bright. She said that since the note had been written on a deposit slip for Bank of America, he’d have to go back there or fill out a slip for Wells Fargo instead. The robber returned to the Bank of America whilst she called the police, who arrested him a few minutes later whilst he was still in line.

4.

A man on trial for drugs possession claimed that he had been searched without warrant. When told that the officer had not needed a warrant to search him because there was a chance the bulge in his pocket could have been a gun, he brushed it off as nonsense and gave the judge his jacket to examine. The judge found a packet of cocaine in the man’s pocket and required a five minute recess because he found it so funny.

5.

In Maryland, a couple of burglars tried to cut into a safe. However, they hadn’t done an awful lot of research into the tools they should use, because they were using a laser tag gun. The robbery was, as you probably guessed, unsuccessful.

6.

A man entered a corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the money from the cash register. He then noticed a bottle of scotch and told the cashier to give him that, too. The cashier refused, saying he did not believe the man was over 21. After unsuccessfully trying to convince the cashier, the man took out his driver’s licence and showed it to him. The cashier agreed and gave him the scotch, then after the man had left, called the police and gave them the name and address from the man’s driver’s license. The robber was arrested within two hours.

7.

Two suspects were sitting at the defendant’s table in a courtroom, whilst a witness gave her evidence. She told the judge she had had her purse stolen in the street. When the judge asked her, “the two men who robbed you, are they here in the courtroom today?” both of the defendants raised their hands before she even had a chance to answer. Of course, this was followed by laughter from the entire jury and the judge.

8.

A woman called the police to report a stolen car, and told them that there was a car phone inside it. The police took the number and called it, and the thief picked up. The officer on the phone said that he had seen an advert for the car in a local newspaper and wondered if they could meet up. The thief, thinking he was about to make big bucks, agreed, and was subsequently arrested.

9.

10.

In August 2007, 53-year-old Juanita Marie Jones called the police to demand the arrest of somebody who had sold her a false product. What was the product, you ask? Crack cocaine. After smoking one third, she found that it had not affected her, and she called the police to tell them she’d been ripped off, only to be arrested herself for drugs possession when police officers arrived at her house and she showed them her faulty purchase.

Crime is something that worries many people, but hopefully you’ll be able to rest a little easier knowing that there are plenty of criminals out there who could have made this list, and who would have a hard enough time trying to get past burglar alarms, let alone the police. Make sure you’ve got all your safety and security gadgets sorted, such as CCTV cameras and burglar alarms, and relax knowing that many of the people with evil intentions are lacking the intelligence to successfully carry them out.

Bio: James Knowledge has a big interest in things that went wrong. He’s been collecting information across all sorts of events and everyday situations, in this case – crimes that went very wrong. The next idea he’s focusing on is top 10 weddings that went wrong.