Have time to yourself

10 ways to take time for yourself even with a hectic schedule

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Do you tend to get overwhelmed with everything going on in your life?

Whether it’s the responsibilities piling up at work, the chores you have to do at home, or the people in your life who need your attention, it can feel like you have too much on your mental load if you never get to step away from it all.

That’s why it’s important to learn how to take time for yourself.

So what does it really mean to take time for yourself? How can you achieve this without the entire world falling apart? Let’s explore why time alone is so important, plus 10 ways you can start setting time aside for yourself.

What does taking time to yourself mean?

To find time for yourself means to set time aside consciously. This time should be meant for you and you alone.

It’s not meant to be time alone to catch up on the chores on your to-do list. It’s also not supposed to be time spent with your partner.

Putting aside some time that’s truly for yourself means you get to spend time on your own doing what you want to do, not what anyone else thinks you should be doing. It’s a simple self-care practice yet difficult for many to implement.

People who take time for themselves may get the urge to be productive instead. But with time, you can practice the habit of truly taking time for yourself and just allowing yourself to exist without having to get anything done. Ultimately, taking time for yourself is a form of productivity.

Is it okay to take time for yourself?

There’s always a lot going on in anyone’s life. You’ll have work, chores, keeping up with friends, spending time with your partner, caring for children and pets, and so much more to think about.

But you’re allowed to take time alone that’s meant for you and only for you. It’s a vital step in taking care of yourself.

Remember that you don’t have to earn «me-time,» either. You deserve to have this time, even if you feel like you haven’t accomplished as much as you should have. There may be some inner work and behavior changes you need to do to come to terms with this, and that’s okay.

In fact, taking time for yourself can help you do this inner work. So, the more you do it, the easier it’ll become.

Why is taking time for yourself important?

There are several reasons why you should incorporate taking time for yourself in your self-care plan.

First, these moments alone can give you time to process your thoughts and feelings. Plus, if you’re an introvert, alone time gives you a much-needed break to recharge your batteries before your next social interaction.

During your moments spent alone, you can also practice self-reflection and self-awareness. You can begin to understand yourself more. There’s no one else you need to perform for and no one you need to impress. This means you can just be yourself and observe what that feels like.

In these moments of solitude, you can also start to understand what type of self-care you need. You can experiment with different things you want to try and see what works best for you.

Research has shown that choosing to spend time alone can have benefits such as boosting self-esteem. People usually see themselves as lonely if they don’t choose to spend time alone. But making a conscious choice doesn’t usually feel lonely.

What is the best way to take time for yourself?

So how do you begin to take time for yourself, especially if you’re living a hectic lifestyle?

Here are 10 ways you can start taking time for yourself and enjoying the benefits of slowing down.

1. Express your needs

It’s no one else’s job to guess what you need. So, if you’re in dire need of free time alone for your mental health, it’s important to express that.

Let your friends and family know that you need to take time for yourself. Think of ways you can ask for their support to get that time if you’re struggling to figure it out.

For instance, you could get an accountability partner who also takes time for themselves.

2. Question your guilt

Do you feel guilty about taking time for yourself? Do you have mom guilt?

If so, explore that guilt. Don’t push it back. Questioning yourself about your guilt is a key part of performing inner work.

Ask yourself why you feel guilty for taking a little time for yourself. See what comes up, and address all of those reasons.

If it helps, you can also journal about it. Write down every reason behind the guilt. Then, dig deeper and ask yourself whether this reason is actually true.

For example, let’s say you feel guilty because your family needs you. While it may be true that your family needs you, will time for yourself truly prevent you from sustaining that need?

What do they really need from you? Couldn’t you be more helpful and supportive for your family if you were well-rested and were able to recharge by taking some time for yourself? And finally, what are some of your needs that perhaps your family could help you meet?

3. Learn how to say no

Your time is precious. It’s the most finite resource you have.

You’re allowed to say no to doing things you don’t feel like doing with your limited time. While it’s important to make compromises in your relationships, it’s also important not to say ‘yes’ to everything.

If this is something you struggle with, start small before you tackle a big topic. Practice saying no to smaller things people ask from you. For instance, you could say no when someone requires your attention immediately while you were actually headed for a shower.

Unless someone has an emergency, you don’t need to be at everyone’s beck and call at all times. And even in the case of an emergency, you don’t always have to be everyone’s savior. Learn to fill your cup before pouring from it.

4. Block out me-time each week (or every two weeks)

If you have children, a partner, or other crucial responsibilities, claim a block of time every week to have time for yourself away from your everyday life and busy schedule.

Your partner should do the same. Every caretaker should get undisputed time for themselves so that they can recharge and come back fresh.

If it’s not possible to get this time for yourself every week, try every two weeks instead. Alternate weeks with your partner or with the other people you’re sharing responsibility with.

If you don’t have a partner, reach out to people close to you. These people could be friends, family, or other important people in your life.

5. Set boundaries at work

Your employer is important to you since they provide you with a job. But you are just as important to them, if not more.

With that in mind, set realistic boundaries with your employer. They usually set boundaries with their employees, and this should go both ways. For instance, you can set a limit by leaving on time instead of staying late almost every day. Such boundaries can help you achieve a healthy work-life balance and get that much-needed time alone.

Let your manager know how they can support you. For instance, if you’re a working parent, tell them what you need to ensure your family is taken care of. This isn’t just good for you — you’ll be a better asset to your employer if you can rest easy while you’re at work.

6. Implement an exercise routine

Find a form of physical exercise that you enjoy. This can be a great way to spend time with yourself. An exercise routine can greatly improve your physical health and well-being.

If you have children, look into finding a gym that has a daycare. That will make it easier to ensure you get enough time alone while you exercise.

If you prefer to work out from home, look into virtual workouts that you can do from anywhere.

7. Take a solo lunch break

Eating lunch with teammates can be a great way to participate in the company culture. This is especially true if your employer hosts fun activities at work during this time.

But sometimes, you may need alone time more than bonding time. Don’t feel guilty about taking your lunch break alone from time to time.

Find a quiet spot in your office with a packed lunch. Alternatively, walk to a quiet cafe or restaurant nearby.

You could also head home if you live close to your place of work.

8. Make a date with yourself

A date doesn’t have to be with other people. Make a point to mark a date with yourself in your calendar, just like you would if you had a date with a loved one.

Respect the commitment to the date. If you respect others enough to show up, then you should respect yourself just as much.

During your date, try activities you’ve always wanted to try. No one else can disagree with you.

9. Try doing nothing

You don’t always have to be doing something productive. In fact, you don’t always have to be doing anything at all.

While planning a date with yourself can be a great way to experiment with something new, you can also give yourself the time and space to do nothing.

Doing nothing also means staying off your phone or television. Try putting away the screens and social media to enjoy a distraction-free moment with yourself. Make yourself a cup of coffee. Take deep breaths. Smile.

10. Find ways to be alone together with loved ones

It’s possible to spend time together with your loved ones, but on your own. In this way, everyone can be alone but still feel surrounded by those they love.

For example, you can plan an hour of quiet reading time for everyone in your household. You can put on soothing background music, light a candle, and sit close by to someone else.

Taking time for yourself while touching your partner can have many benefits, like reducing cortisol levels. So time alone doesn’t always have to be completely alone.

Learn how to take time for yourself and put yourself back on your list of priorities

If you’re used to putting everyone else first, it can be difficult to take time for yourself in the beginning. But as you practice this skill, it’ll become more and more comfortable for you.

At BetterUp, our coaches support people on their unique journies and help them develop the skills and mindsets to reach their goals. Whether you need help carving out this time for yourself or you want to help your team keep performing at their best, request a free demo or schedule a free session to see how a BetterUp coach can help you.

71 Self Care Quotes to Help You to Take Care of Yourself

Self-care is one of those things that is essential but we often don’t take enough time for (or feel we don’t have the time for).

But taking care of yourself, your body, health and mental well-being is so important to not just feel better but also to perform better in the long run and to be able to help others better.

And to keep going and not give up until you reach your goals and dreams.

So I’ve put together a collection of the 71 best self care quotes I’ve found.

I hope they will help and inspire you to more consistently take some time for yourself and for what you deep down need.

Inspiring Self Care Quotes

“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”
Parker Palmer

“I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.”
Kristen Neff

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
Oprah

“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.”
Andrew Matthews

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.”
Sophia Loren

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
Roy T. Bennett

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”
Brené Brown

“Self-discipline is self-caring.”
M. Scott Peck

“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.”
Doug Larson

“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.”
Stephen Covey

“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.”
Brian Andreas

“How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em.”
Shel Silverstein

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”
Kim McMillen

“The challenge is not to be perfect — it is to be whole.”
Jane Fonda

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Buddha

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” Dolly Parton

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”
Shannon L. Alder

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”
Bertrand Russell

“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.”
Christopher Germer

“Invent your world. Surround yourself with people, color, sounds, and work that nourish you.”
Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

“Allow yourself to enjoy each happy moment in your life.”
Steve Maraboli

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”
Bob Moawad

Take Time for Yourself Quotes

“It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.”
Diane Von Furstenberg

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”
Jean Shinoda Bolen

“If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.”
Dalai Lama

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”
John Lubbock

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.”
Anna Taylor

“If you do not respect your own wishes, no one else will. You will simply attract people who disrespect you as much as you do.”
Vironika Tugaleva

“Self-care is not a waste of time; self-care makes your use of time more sustainable.”
Jackie Viramontez

“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.”
Jill Bolte Taylor

Self Care Quotes About Your Body, Stress and Relaxing

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
Anne Lamott

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
Sydney J. Harris

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Louise L. Hay

“Keep good company, read good books, love good things and cultivate soul and body as faithfully as you can.”
Louisa May Alcott

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.”
George Burns

“‘Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.”
William Shakespeare

“I had to grow to love my body. I did not have a good self-image at first. Finally it occurred to me, I’m either going to love me or hate me. And I chose to love myself. Then everything kind of sprung from there. Things that I thought weren’t attractive became sexy. Confidence makes you sexy.”
Queen Latifah

“Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.”
Edward Stanley

“There are thousands of causes for stress, and one antidote to stress is self-expression. That’s what happens to me every day. My thoughts get off my chest, down my sleeves and onto my pad.”
Garson Kanin

“Self-care is so much more than a beauty regimen or an external thing you do. It has to start within your heart to know what you need to navigate your life. A pedicure doesn’t last, but meditating every day does.”
Carrie-Anne Moss

“Don’t take your health for granted. Don’t take your body for granted. Do something today that communicates to your body that you desire to care for it. Tomorrow is not promised.”
Jada Pinkett Smith

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”
Ovid

You may also like this post filled with Wednesday quotes to get you past the Humpday slump.

Focus on Yourself First to Better Help Others Quotes

“Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give, and nobody will care for you.”
Karl Lagerfeld

“To be a good parent, you need to take care of yourself so that you can have the physical and emotional energy to take care of your family.”
Michelle Obama

“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”
Maya Angelou

“Self-love is an ocean and your heart is a vessel. Make it full, and any excess will spill over into the lives of the people you hold dear. But you must come first.”
Beau Taplin

“Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.”
André Gide

“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

“The perfect man of old looked after himself first before looking to help others.”
Chuang Tzu

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
Stacey Charter

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”
Jack Kornfield

“Once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.”
Rob Liano

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
Eleanor Brownn

Quotes about the Importance of Loving Yourself

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
Lucille Ball

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
Maxwell Maltz

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.”
Brené Brown

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
Lao-Tzu

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.”
Charles Bukowski

“Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.”
Dan Coppersmith

“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.”
Bell Hooks

“To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.”
Denis Waitley

“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.”
Barbara De Angelis

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
Mark Twain

“People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.”
Dan Pearce

”If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.”
Wayne Dyer

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
Robert Morley

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About the Author

Henrik Edberg is the creator of the Positivity Blog and has written weekly articles here since 2006. He has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Gothenburg and has been featured on Lifehack, The Huffington Post and Paulo Coelho’s blog. Click here to learn more…

Comments on this entry are closed.

Thank you for the quotes on self care. I receive inspiration from these to help with my own writing.

A timely post for self-care quotes Henrik
During the widespread panic over the Coronavirus pandemic, it is important to be mindful of our health.

We need to keep ourselves healthy both mentally, and physically if we are to keep our immune systems functioning properly.

We can’t help others if we are sick ourselves. We are all in this together. Stay healthy everyone.
Greg

6 Awesome Ways To Spend Time With Yourself

Published Aug 4th, 2020 & updated on Jan 27th, 2022

Hi. Hello. Welcome! This is a dedication to self-care. Whose self-care? Your self-care! And one of the ways to do that is to learn how to spend time with yourself.

When was the last time you were alone?

Not lonely, or isolated, or missing someone. But alone, happily, by choice?

If you’re still thinking, it’s been too long.

The reason it’s been so long is probably because, in today’s world, we are never truly alone. We always have a notification popping up on our screen, our work phone ringing at 10pm, or our Instagram feed waiting to be consumed. We crave connection with others and, as a result, never have time to connect with ourselves.

Well. Fasten your seatbelts because you’re gonna hear about ‘em now.

Why You Should Spend Time With Yourself

What better way to convince you to spend time with yourself than to show you the countless benefits!

**the introverts are nodding along as the extroverts are screaming internally…

Don’t fret, don’t fret. We’re not taking away any of your social time, because that’s important too.

Keep reading to find out why spending time alone is good for you.

1. Discover Who You Are

Dr. Angela Grice, a speech language pathologist, has done extensive research on neuroscience and neurocognition. She explains how spending time alone can help you re-discover yourself :

“Cultivating this sense of being alone and making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are.”

Alone time will give you the opportunity to look within and uncover things that may have been forced into hiding due to the busyness of your life.

2. Care For Your Physical And Mental Wellbeing

Our busy lifestyles often neglect time for self-care, which can ultimately backfire in the end. Alone time gives your mind and body time to rest and recharge, which it desperately needs.

3. Increase Your Productivity And Creativity

This one is pretty simple. When you’re alone, there are no distractions. No kids asking you where their socks are, no tri-tone text notification demanding your attention, no partner showing you hilarious (but untimely) memes. Just you and your work. When you designate time and space for work, your creative juices start flowing without interruption. You’re in the zone.

4. Reduce Your Stress

5. Improve Relationships

But…What Is There To Do When You’re Spending Time Alone?

Ok ok, you’re all on board. But how do you actually spend time with yourself? Is there more to it than just sitting in silence with no distractions? You bet! Here are a few other recommendations that might inspire you.

1. Pick Up An Old Hobby Or Try A New One

What better way to pass the time than by doing something you love? Maybe it’s something that you did as a teenager. Or maybe it’s something that you’ve always wanted to do but your partner hates.

News flash: you don’t need anyone else! You can do it by yourself. Using your alone time to do something that makes you happy will never feel like a chore.

2. Journal Through Your Thoughts

Check out our DiveThru app, which has over 1000 journaling exercises created by mental health professionals. The app can be used to target and explore specific areas of your life such as relationships, personal development, and work life. Download it for free to get started today!

3. Try Your Hand At Coloring

Sure, it was super easy when you were a kid! And it will still be easy now, which is what makes this awesome little hobby so relaxing. Throw on some good tunes in the background, pour yourself a hot cup of coffee and let your mind relax as you fill in the most intricate designs. No seriously, some of the designs are sooo intricate!

Head to the Google machine and find yourself a mesmerizing colouring book. There are so many enchanting options to choose from!

4. Make A Self-Care Basket

Whether you’re doing this for yourself or for someone you love, we guaranteeeeee it’ll bring a smile! It’ll take you a few hours to gather everything, which is perfect. This is when you dedicate the time to yourself and allow yourself to be super engaged in the activity!

Don’t know what to throw in the basket? Focus on things that help you (or your loved one) take charge of your mental health! Think favourite treats, calming tea, scented candles, relaxing skin care like a nice soothing lotion, a book, a journal, maybe a new agenda. Try to really personalize the basket with what you need, which might be super different than any of the stuff we just listed.

5. Print Pictures & Frame Them

Take some time to browse through your pictures and pick 5-10 you’d love to have framed. Print these off at your local drugstore and then go pick a few cute frames!

If you’re not an overly crafty person (ya same here), this is the perfect way to get a little creative. Best part? You’ll get to see your loved ones’ faces even more often. Win-win.

6. Do Nothing

Sometimes it’s really powerful to just sit and do nothing. Let your mind wander and be reassured knowing there’s absolutely nothing you have to do except be there in the moment.

Best Tips To Actually Make Your Time Alone Happen

We know our intentions don’t always line up with our schedules and our priorities! If you’re thinking “Yeah this is great but how am I actually gonna find the time for it??” then take a look at the tips below. We got you.

1. Schedule It

Schedule your alone time in a calendar, agenda, reminder, or even write it on your forehead if you feel so inclined. The point is, plan it into your day and don’t back out of it. Don’t think that you’re being selfish by taking time to take care of yourself. You’re not.

Likewise, we need alone time to recharge, but too much alone time can be isolating. Try to utilize your schedule in order to find a happy medium.

2. Eliminate Distractions

It might be uncomfortable, at first, to be alone without the constant companionship of your phone or your family. But silencing distractions is truly the only way to get value out of your alone time.

Let the other people in your household know that you’re unavailable and leave your phone in another room. Don’t take it with you and pretend you won’t use it because we all know you will (we know because we do it too).

3. Shift Your Mindset

If you think that alone time is going to be a waste of time, you’re probably right. That’s the power of the good, old self-fulfilling prophecy. Try to avoid going in with a negative mindset and be open to the benefits of spending some time with yourself.

We pretty much guarantee you’ll find value in it. Give it a chance.

4. Get Started! Do It Once And Go From There

If you’re a little hesitant to spend time alone with yourself, try just starting once. Spend 3 intentional minutes alone with no distractions. If you’re able to do that, congratulate yourself! Then move up to 5 minutes.

Making time for yourself is not a competition or a contest. In fact, that’s what we’re trying to avoid. Work at your own pace and you’ll start to feel more comfortable before you know it. Practice makes perfect.

Now that you’re a pro on why and how you should spend time alone, we 10/10 recommend you try it out for yourself. You can even start right now. Pretend it took you 15 minutes to read this instead of the 5 that it actually took.

Ooh would you look at that, 10 minutes to spend by yourself journaling or colouring or just breathing.

Don’t worry, we won’t tell. Your secret’s safe with us.

Stop Saying, “I Don’t Have Time.”

10 Ways to Make More Time For Yourself

It’s the oldest & easiest excuse in the book: “I don’t have time.” We use it for a number of things, so haphazardly & automatically, as if on auto-reply, that we forget we are the ones in control of our time in the first place!

We talk about time as if it’s some assignment beyond our control. Sure, there are some pretty non-negotiable responsibilities and duties: work, caring for children, etc. that make the “I don’t have time,” excuse seem pretty sound. However, the longer we blindly believe the distribution of our time is totally beyond our control, the lazier we are. Because like it or not — your time is your choice, and acting like it isn’t is just a way to make ourselves feel better for distributing it the way we do.

What we really mean when we say, “I don’t have time,” is a number of things:

Plain & simple: the way we spend our time is a reflection of our priorities. If something is important to you, you will find a way (or it will find a way) to fit it into your schedule.

That being said, I’m childless, single & still fortunate enough to work a job with a flexible schedule and I still find myself feeling like I don’t have enough time. Shout out to the ones doing it all with a baby (or several), a spouse, a full-time job & still saying yes to volunteering, carpooling, and giving up their few “free” hours to sit sideline at soccer games & dance recitals.

I get it: we’re busy. Very busy. How are we supposed to “make time” for ourselves when there are dishes to be washed, humans to be fed, calls to be made & sleep to be slept?

It’s not easy & it always requires a sacrifice of some sort, but here are 10 ways you can make more time for yourself — time to read, to walk, to run, to paint, to take a bath, to work out, to have a glass of wine alone on the porch — whatever you want to do with the extra time is up to you, but remember: it’s always a choice, and you are always choosing.

1. Wake up earlier.

*cue eye rolls & moans*
This is #1 on the list because it’s just the most obvious way to “gift” yourself more time in the day. Even if that’s just setting the alarm 15 minutes earlier & snoozing it one less time, those 15 minutes of calm-before-the-storm can be critical in determining how the rest of your day goes.

Will you be tired? Most likely. But one thing I’ve learned is that I’m tired when my alarm goes off at 6 a.m. and I’m tired when it goes off at 5 a.m. You’re going to be tired either way. It’s not going to be easy, but sacrificing an hour — or even just 15 minutes — of sleep is a small price to pay for the things you could get done or positivity you could produce as a result.

2. Go to bed later.

If you’re already running low on sleep, maybe don’t use this one as your “time-making” strategy. If, however, you’re one of those people who crawls in bed only to stay up scrolling through social media and/or staring at the cieiling: stay up a little longer!

If you’ve got time to let Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest or e-mails suck you into their infinite vortex, then you’ve probably also got time to do whatever it is you “don’t have time for.” Sure, laying down feels good & maybe you’re even telling yourself that this is your “you” time of the day. But remember, if you’re struggling to fit in another priority, maybe the nightly scroll-in-bed-sesh can take a back seat.

Another thing to pay attention to here if you’re someone who has trouble falling asleep is whether or not you’re actually tired when it’s bed time. Having trouble falling asleep because your mind is racing, you’re nervous/anxious or even sick is one thing. But having trouble falling asleep because you’re not tired might be a sign you need to be doing more to fatigue yourself during the day!

Instead of tossing and turning for 30–45 minutes, try going for a walk or working out at the end of the day to help you sleep better and make better use of your time.

3. Watch less TV.

See #2: if you’ve got time for a 30 minute episode (or 2 or 3…) you’ve definitely got some negotiable time in your schedule somewhere.

This one is an easy reconsideration of priorities. Is it more important to you to catch up on the latest series, or to do that thing you just can’t seem to find time for but supposedly “want” to do?

4. Plan ahead.

Pack a bag. Bring your lunch. Do something today that you need to do over the weekend to free yourself up over the weekend.

Planning ahead is an easy way to maximize the use of your time. Sometimes, simply saving the drive-time it takes to go home & come back or wait in line at the drive-thru is all you need to give yourself those 30 extra minutes today.

If you’re feeling crunched on time throughout the day, get your stuff together the night before so you can a) have more time in the morning and b) save all those 5 & 10 minute pockets of time during the day where you’re deciding where to eat, waiting in line for a coffee, etc. Remember: you don’t have to find one huge activity to cut out of your day. Sometimes, cutting out 5 small activities can add up to the same amount of time as cutting out one big one.

5. Plan around.

Planning around something is when you start with whatever it is you want to have time for & then work backwards.

Trying to find time to go for a walk after work and before dinner? Calculate how much time you’d need, which things you’d need to move around, and go from there. Want to sign up for a Tuesday night kickball team that plays during your family dinner time? Re-prioritize, then put the practice in the planner & work around it.

Planning around the thing you want to have time for means you’re going to make time for this activity, not simply to try to fit it into your existing schedule. This is an important distinction to make that is *key* to rearranging your the use of your time! Be sure you aren’t trying to constantly add new pieces to the puzzle without first removing other ones if necessary.

Planning around is about saying, “This piece must fit into my puzzle. Which piece(s) can I now remove in order to make this work?”

6. Ask for help.

This really should be #1, actually, because so often, this frees up more of our time than we ever could have imagined! Asking for help is not only hard for us, but we also undervalue the return on this investment.

Asking for help might look like asking your kids or partner to do some of the chores you normally do after work so you can take a bath or ride your bike instead. It might be that you hire a trainer so you can be sure you’re getting in and out of the gym in a certain amount of time, maximizing your time & effort. It might be asking another parent to split the carpool duties or having your partner do dinner every Wednesday night so you can at least have those evenings “free.”

Sometimes, asking for help is just asking for help. Saying to your friends or family, “Hey, I’m really stressed out about some things right now. Could you help me with X, Y & Z so I could go do A, B & C?” can significantly change your schedule! Upon hearing how busy you feel, you may have people volunteer to help you cook, clean, pick up the kids, or — at the very least — hold you accountable to the things you say you want to be doing!

7. “Chunk” your time.

Often times, our time is spent doing Thing 1, then Thing 2, then Thing 3, etc. Our mind jumps from task to task and we bounce all over the place, feeling like a headless chicken until finally it’s time to go to bed and do it all again.

One way to maximize your productivity in a given time period is to do what I like to call “chunking.” “Chunking” is when you set aside “x” amount of time for ONE type of thing, rather than doing Thing 1, Thing 2, Thing 3, etc.

For example, you might “chunk” all your chores into a given block in order to free up all the tiny times you do these chores during the day or week. Perhaps, instead of washing the dishes every time they pile up, you designate Wednesday nights as “Dish Night” and you simply make do until then.

You might do better by “chunking” your creative time if you’re trying to make time for more leisurely activities. Rather than trying to find an hour a day to draw, write or listen to new music, you might refrain from that on certain days and then let yourself indulge for 2 or 3 hours on the weekend. By “chunking” your time this way, you’re freeing up tiny pockets of time during the day, which makes you feel like you’ve got more time in the long run!

8. Commit to less.

This one is a no-brainer as well.

Many times, making more time for you just means saying “no” to things you’re used to saying “yes” to & potentially de-committing to current obligations. It is, again, another matter of priorities. If it’s truly important to you to find time to begin a yoga practice, then you just might have to say “no” to Saturday brunch plans.

It can be hard, especially if you’re making decisions on behalf of or because of someone else (like children or a spouse) but just remember that saying “no” to one thing just means saying “yes” to another thing in the future.

9. Stop negotiating.

We could save ourselves several dozen minutes a day if we just eliminated the internal negotiations we have with ourselves about where to eat, whether or not we “feel like” working out, or if we “want” to go to that dinner party or not.

Quit negotiating. You’re either in, or you’re out. Once you freakin’ decide to do something — like really decide — you will see how much easier it is to actually “have time” to do it.

Sometimes, simply inserting a bit of rigidity into your schedule & saying, “This is what I’m doing today,” can increase your productivity & perception of how well you spend your time.

This can, of course, backfire if you’re not willing to be flexible to potential kinks in the plan, but some level of non-negotiation is necessary in order to find time for the things you want to find time for.

10. Multi-task.

This is last on the list for a number of reasons. First of all, scientists don’t even think it’s possible for us to truly multi-task, and I’d have to agree that it’s impossible to be 100% present in 2 activities at once, but, if absolutely necessary, I’m not opposed to a few forms of multi-tasking if it means being able to do the things you love (as long as you’re still doing them in a way that’s beneficial to everyone involved.)

I do not advocate for multi-tasking if it means half-assing an experience with your loved ones or making someone else’s work load heavier because you were preparing your presentation while watching Ozark.

I do, however, give myself permission to write articles while the oven pre-heats, listen to audiobooks while I run, fold clothes while I catch up with my sisters, or even check my email between squat sets. True, I’m not as present as I’d like to be or can be during these times. But, if getting a tiny bit of work done while I cook dinner means less work time after dinner — I’m okay with that.

Like with almost anything, do this in moderation. I don’t suggest nor condone texting & driving, taking business calls at the park with your children, or bringing your laptop to the bathtub so you can work while you unwind. That kind of multi-tasking is actually counter-productive. Simply look for small tasks that can be combined if/when necessary & if you’re multi-tasking too much, keep in mind that could be a sign you’re over-committed to begin with.

How to Make Time For Yourself Without Feeling Guilty or Selfish

HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY OR SELFISH

Deep down we all know the value of self-care but putting ourselves first every now and then can still feel difficult. In this article I’m sharing some simple tips on how to make time for yourself without feeling guilty or selfish.

WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF

How many times this week did you do something just for you? Can you count the number of times on two hands, one hand? Do you manage to carve out a little time each day to do what you want or is it a luxury that you feel your current lifestyle doesn’t allow?

Making time for yourself is important and shouldn’t be seen as a luxury.

Have you ever heard the saying that ‘you can’t keep pouring out of a cup that’s run dry’? If you’re running on empty and haven’t given yourself adequate chance to recharge your batteries and take care of yourself (in whatever way that means to you) then you can’t be the best version of you. You won’t be the best parent, partner, daughter, son, friend, employee or the best you that you can be.

So, even if you don’t feel important enough to prioritise yourself every now and then, do it for the people that you care about in your life, if not for yourself.

PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST

When you take a moment to put yourself first, you can spend time relaxing and unwinding, learning new things, being receptive and opening your mind to new possibilities, even practical things such as having your hair cut, choosing clothes that you love and feel good in. The choice is yours, but the point is… you have choice.

Think for a moment how you feel when you’ve had a great holiday…

I know life isn’t all about taking holidays so I’m not for a moment suggesting that you pack your bags and travel the world (unless I’ve unleashed a bit of wanderlust in you!). In fact, living for the holidays is a sign of escapism. You might not be happy in your life at the moment and instead of facing it head on, you pack your suitcase and leave your problems behind. They’ll be ready for you when you return though.

So, no, holidays aren’t the answer but they give you an idea why making time for yourself is so important.

THE VALUE OF SELF-CARE IN OUR BUSY LIVES

Time for yourself is time away from your To Do list, your list of responsibilities and commitments. It’s time away from the things you HAVE to do each day that sap not only your time, but your physical and mental energy.

These things will usually still be there even if we have 5 minutes or a weekend to ourselves. Most of us have housework to do, friends or family that need us, work or kids (or both) to juggle. We still need to pay the bills, fill the fridge and fix the car when it’s broken.

Time for yourself is empty space which you can fill as you choose. It’s time to focus on you, your interests and hobbies, pique your curiosity. It’s time to have a nap if you’re tired, meditate if you need calm, journal if you need clarity, kick-box if you need to let off steam…

Time for you is whatever you need it to be right there and then.

HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF

Yet, even those of us who know we need time for ourselves struggle with HOW to find the time. We know it’s not good to be busy all the time but just how do we carve out a little bit more free time in a busy schedule?

I’ve written before in other articles about the benefits of waking up earlier, saying no to things that don’t serve us and being more organised in our routines. These definitely all contribute to carving out more time in a day and making the most of it.

But going deeper than that, I think there are other factors at play so here are some practical tips on how to make time for yourself without feeling guilty or selfish.

HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY OR SELFISH

Here are some steps and simple tips on how to make time for yourself without feeling guilty or selfish. I’ve included some action points and further reading to help you on your way!

1. Appreciate your self-worth

I talked about this earlier in reference to the cup that runs dry. For many of us, particularly as parents, we are the glue that holds our family together. We are relied upon by our kids, partners, work colleagues, friends and often pulled in different directions trying to be all things to all people. But this only works for so long unless we find ways to put ourselves first sometimes.

Juggling many hats and trying to do our best in all situations takes energy, resilience and good humour. We do these things all day, every day, tackling challenges head on, raising our kids, holding down jobs, pushing ourselves. Even if we don’t recognise it, we are amazing and full of inner strength!

Understanding your self-worth is the first step in knowing how to make time for yourself. If you don’t think you deserve it then you’ll never be committed to putting yourself first every now and then.

Action point: Every day this week, make a list of 3 things you like about yourself or are proud of yourself for. Begin to understand all that you do and appreciate your self-worth.

2. Make self-care a priority

Many of us have so many things on our To Do lists that we probably don’t achieve half of what we set out to. Often we do the easy or small things, or the ones that are urgent or have big consequences if we don’t do them. Everything else tends to get pushed down the list or forgotten about until tomorrow… or the day after…

In order to make time for yourself, you need to think differently. Learn that time for self-care is a priority and non-negotiable.

It doesn’t have to be a weekend away, it could be 10 minutes with a cup of coffee and your favourite book. However you spend it, make time for yourself a priority and you’re much more likely to make it happen.

3. Set your intention

I write about intentional living and I’m a passionate believer that if we want things to happen then we need to take deliberate and intentional action to make them happen.

Setting your intention to do something gives power and weight to that decision.

You’re being specific, targeted and decisive about what you INTEND to do, why and how, so let’s set your intention to make time for yourself.

Be clear in your own mind about your intention to look after yourself today (again, it doesn’t have to take lots of time or money) and this will focus your mind into making sure you find time for yourself. One of the best ways to make things happen is by making it a regular feature in your life. Make self-care a habit.

4. Create boundaries

Boundaries are like an invisible force field that surrounds you and stops you being buffered around by pressures from the outside world!

In this context, I’m talking about the boundaries you can create to make time for yourself. This could mean learning to say ‘no’ when someone asks you to do something, or when you’ve got too much in your diary and you need to cancel or postpone something until another time.

Don’t be swayed into doing something you don’t want to do or don’t have time to do (unless you really have to).

Create boundaries for yourself in how many activities your kids do, how many times you get drawn into baking cakes for the school fayre, when your boss asks you to work late too often, how many times you postpone date night with your partner.

Boundaries are things that keep us on track, on target and focused on our goals and values. If something is important to you, protect it with a boundary. Without boundaries you’ll say yes to everything, muddle your priorities, become overburdened by tiny decisions and lose sight of your personal values.

5. Establish routines

Oh how I love routines! Routines can make it easier and simpler to fit everything in that you HAVE to do so you have more time to do what you WANT to do.

I love routines because I’m an organised neat freak, but I especially love routines because of what they can do for you. Find easy ways to plan and prepare the things you need to do such as housework, planning meals, even routines for your kids such as nap times and structured bed times.

Once in place, you’ll know your daily schedule, things will get done little and often, if you miss a day it won’t matter and you’ll be able to make time for yourself. Time for you whilst the baby naps, time for you when the kids are in bed, time for you instead of a backlog of housework, time for you whilst dinner is cooking because you’ve prepared and batch-cooked in advance.

Routines can help you get everything done so that it’s easier to make time for yourself.

6. Be motivated

I have kids and a dog and I know that they’re more likely to do things I want them to when they get a reward! I wish it wasn’t that way but if we’re honest, most of us are more motivated when we know something good will come out of it!

One of the ways you’re more likely to make time for yourself (without feeling guilty or selfish) is if you’re truly motivated. Perhaps you need an incentive, reward or end goal? If getting fit is an important reason for finding time for you, make sure that’s really sufficient motivation. What about treating yourself to some new workout clothes if you keep it up for a month. Is that a little more motivating? Be honest with yourself here.

Some things that we choose to do in our own time are reward in themselves (eating a box of chocolates anyone?!) but other things we do because we know we should, perhaps because it’s good for us. These examples of self-care might require extra oomph and motivation to get us going and keep us motivated.

Action point: Think about the things you want to do if you have some time for yourself and decide whether you need something more to motivate you. If there’s an added incentive then you’re much more likely to make it a priority and find the time to make it happen.

7. Practice acceptance

There are some seasons in life that make finding time for yourself particularly difficult. If you’ve got a new born baby, finding time for you could definitely be a challenge!

It’s important to be realistic with your expectations. Many of us would love to take that holiday I talked about at the start of this article, but it just wouldn’t be possible.

One of the biggest reasons why we have trouble making time for ourselves is that we think it’s too difficult. Yet, 10 minutes is better than 0 minutes, especially if it’s day after day. Work out what you can achieve in whatever time you have available.

Be creative with how you use your time, don’t waste it being frustrated about what you can’t do, but focus on what you CAN do instead.

Life comes in stages and what isn’t possible now, might be possible in 1 month, 6 months, 2 years. Accept what you have right now and make the most of it.

8. Journal

Time for yourself is much more than just an act of self-care. It is about self-reflection, self-discovery and personal growth. Learn what lifts you up, lights your fire and gives you peace, ease and happiness.

I invite you to grab a notebook and pen and take a few minutes to journal your thoughts and see what comes forward.

Time for yourself is time for new thoughts, new ideas and new perspectives. Perhaps looking at it this way will help you lose the guilt. Time for yourself is an important part of loving and honouring yourself.

RE-FRAME HOW YOU THINK ABOUT SELF-CARE (AND SOME IDEAS)

Let’s try to re-frame how we feel about self-care. Most of us know that it’s more than a hot bath and scented candle. Yet, we still feel the guilt attached to saying no, letting something slide because we want to focus on ourself or perhaps, for example, not responding to a text from a friend the moment we receive it.

“Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it.”

Here are some ideas for activities you might enjoy if you make time for yourself. I don’t think they sound selfish or guilt-inducing but just part of living a healthy, balanced and simpler life. What do you think? And do you have any to add for yourself?

Make time for yourself to:

Prioritise YOU for a moment, get those boundaries in place, reaffirm with yourself the VALUE of you and practice putting yourself first sometimes.

SELF-CARE RESOURCES

Here are some articles and resources to help you make self-care a consistent and effective part of your regular routine.