How i can kill myself

I want to kill myself

Suicidal thoughts can be complex, frightening and confusing.

We’re not afraid of going into difficult areas with you, and we’ll take you seriously whether you’re having a few suicidal thoughts or have made clear plans to end your life.

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I want to die. How will talking help me?

We’re experienced in listening to people with suicidal thoughts, feelings and plans and are here to support you:

They are there when all your friends are asleep and you are alone in the world, full of thoughts.

Am I suicidal?

You might be experiencing some of the following suicidal thoughts and feelings:

We can talk with you through all of this.

Will you stop me killing myself?

We hope that, through talking to us, you’ll get to a place where you see your situation in a different light.

If you are not a child or adult at risk, we respect your freedom to make your own decisions, including the decision to take your own life. We’ll continue to talk with you if you’ve taken action to end your life.

Will you tell anybody I’m suicidal?

In most situations and for most people we are a confidential service and we won’t ever tell anyone about our conversation, or even that you called, unless you ask us to. However, there are important exceptions to this.

We won’t call emergency services, except for in these circumstances:

What if I don’t want to talk on the phone?

There are other ways to contact us if you prefer not to talk on the phone.

How to kill yourself without committing suicide*

I can answer the question from the headline in one sentence. Here it is: If you want to kill yourself without actually doing yourself bodily injury…

Don’t love people.

One sentence does not an article make, however, so allow me to elaborate, with the help of some anecdotes and scientific studies:

The Long-Lived Pennsylvanian Pioneers

In the 1960s, doctors found that a close-knit homogenous Italian-American community in Roseto, Pennsylvania, had an unusually low mortality rate from myocardial infarction (heart attack), compared to neighboring communities.

Rosetans smoked poisonous cigars, drank wine freely, worked in toxic environments, cooked their sausages in lard, and ate cheeses loaded with the worst kind of cholesterol. They also faced the stress of discrimination from their neighbors. So how did they manage to stay so freakishly healthy and long-lived?

Researchers who studied the Rosetans concluded that the Rosetans’ traditional, cohesive family and community relationships were sustaining them. No one was lonely or too unhappy or stressed. Every family home consisted of three generations, nobody was marginalized. There was zero crime rate.

In other words, the Rosetans kept each other alive. They depended on each other and formed tight-knit relationships with everyone in the community, a factor which proved more potent than even diet or wealth in keeping them alive.

The Orphanage Study

In a study discussed in the book Born for Love by Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz, about a third of babies placed in the barest orphanages, where they receive little to no affection or touch, will literally die. And half of the remainder will develop mental illness. Orphans left in such institutions will develop behavioral and psychological problems and lose IQ points the longer they stay in the orphanage.

The authors found that physical affection is needed to stimulate the immune system and the production of growth hormone, and without this, babies’ bodies will start shutting down. Babies’ brains need constant touch, cuddling, and rocking, and without that, they will exhibit “failure to thrive.”

The Blue Zones Study

In 2005, National Geographic published a cover story by Dan Buettner, an author and educator who defined five seperate geographic regions where people lived longest and healthiest lives. These five regions included: Okinawa, Japan; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Icaria, Greece; and the Seventh-Day Adventist population in Loma Linda, California (USA).

In 2008, the article became a book, Blue Zones, and in it, Buettner distilled 9 lessons for promoting health, happiness, and longevity. Of these lessons, 3 of the 9 had to do with socialization/relationships (#7: belong to a spiritual community, #8 make family a priority, #9 find the right tribe).

Loneliness is increasing

According to multiple studies, loneliness is increasing. And loneliness, they say, is as dangerous as obesity and smoking to your health and well-being.

When it comes to loneliness, quality of connection is more important than quantity of friends. We need people we can depend on, and who can depend on us.

The internet does not really help. Those who are lonely in physical life are more likely to turn to the internet for socialization, but internet relationships/friendships tend to be shallow and unreliable. Internet — gaming, social media, email, etc., is not a good long-term solution for loneliness. But there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of attention given to the growing epidemic of loneliness.

Part of the problem is that loneliness carries a lot of stigma. No one likes to say that they are lonely. It sounds terrible, it makes people feel like they are losing face, like they are a failure. But sometimes, you know, someone has to take the first step…

So here goes *takes a deep breath*

I am lonely

You can’t see me right now, but I am not crying. Or grieving. I’m just sitting here, calmly typing a fact.

Ever since I got sick, my social world has shrunk to previously unimaginable smallness, for a variety of reasons.

At the moment, I’m dealing with it with internet help, even though I said earlier that’s not a good long-term solution.

The reason I write this is because I suspect there are probably others out there in a similar situation. You might be stuck between a rock and a hard place, you might be sick, you might have just gone through a betrayal and find it hard to relate to people…whatever the reason, you are lonely too.

But neither crying nor internet surfing can solve this problem.

There are no quick fixes

Sometimes life can feel too hard to bear. That’s why, at some point, everyone needs someone to bear the burden with them.

And that’s also why loneliness is so deadly.

Everone can handle being alone when things are going relatively well, but storms will hit, at some point, and if you’re not prepared, with a loving cohort of folks who’ve got your back…then what?

Loneliness’ opposite is love. Loneliness kills, but love saves lives. Literally.

We all need to love and be loved, but love is not something that happens in an instant (sorry, Disney — that’s infatuation, not love).

Loving relationships take time and effort and intention to build, and maintain.

From my perspective, these are the things that can help with the building process:

Hugs, conversation, forgiveness, willingness to be vulnerable, courage to step outside your comfort zone, eagerness to give people the benefit of the doubt, laughter, songs, prayer, patience…and most of all, listening —not just the average distracted form of listening, but as Dr. Christopher Yuan once said:

listen to my heart, not my words

And if anyone else has any ideas, or feels lonely and wants someone to talk to, I’m here. I promise to listen.

*Disclaimer: Allow me to apologize for using such a dark headline and tone throughout this article. Obviously, this article is not about what is commonly known as suicide. Suicide is not something to be taken lightly, and if you were expecting such an article, allow me to point you to some other sources that hopefully will be more helpful.

But loneliness cannot be taken lightly, either. From what I understand of loneliness, it legitimately can kill — adults, as well as babies. It’s a serious problem, and has to be addressed. If you feel lonely, I hope this article will alert you to the magnitude of the danger and encourage you to seek ways to fight the loneliness. If you are not lonely, then I ask you to please look around you for some people who are at risk, and reach out. Thank you 🙂

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How i can kill myself

This is a story about dying with dignity.

Continuing on with the theme of giving my readers what they want, I’ve decided to write about the most searched for thing which brings visitors to my website.

I’m not going to write about the easiest way to kill yourself but instead, I’m going to write a detailed account of when, why and how I’m going to kill myself.

If you came here looking for suicide methods, I wrote about that at length here.

If you still want more detail, have a read of this.

Firstly, we need to acknowledge that life can be pretty damn abysmal, if luck doesn’t go your way. Sure, if you’re reading this then you’re lucky enough to have access to a computer, tablet and/or a smartphone, and you’re able to read. For many, that would be considered a privilege, but in reality it’s a curse: it would have been far better to remain stupid and ignorant, and not be troubled with existential angst.

Of course, my ideas are not original. There are plenty of dystopian novels, films and other art forms which depict fantasy worlds where euthanasia is part of those imagined societies. Of course, I’m not talking about euthanasia for you I’m talking about euthanasia for me.

If we recognise that the world is overpopulated, overcrowded, over-competitive, and that the natural resources of the planet are being over-utilised, then it seems like a very selfless and generous act, to quit living before becoming a burden on the healthcare sector. Of course, I’m talking about me and me alone here. I very much wish any older people who want to live as long as humanly possible, a long and healthy life. If you want to live, good for you. but I very much think that if you came to this website then you’re not 100% sure that living is for you. Anyway, this is about what’s right for me, and me alone.

I’ve decided that it’s too expensive to buy a house and have a pension. I had a series of major setbacks in my life, which wrecked my finances, and now it doesn’t make financial sense to plough all the money I need today into things which I might need tomorrow. If I’m going to live until I die of natural causes, I might need a lot of money, and in order to ensure my pension pot goes as far as possible, it’d be better if I owned my house and wasn’t paying a mortgage or rent anymore. Having a pension and a mortgage-free house would rob me of money which I need now while I still have my health. Why do I want to have housing security and financial security during a period of my life when I’m old and senile, in pain and discomfort; dying?

Also, suicide is a form of protest. Why should my parents enjoy dying before me, when they ruined my childhood, and consequently my later life? Why should my parents’ generation die without seeing the horrors they have inflicted upon the younger generation? Why should the capitalists continue to delude themselves that capitalism is a good system, when clearly it exploits people and the natural resources of the earth, to the point of irreversible devastation and destruction of our only habitable planet?

There’s nothing worse than playing by the rules of the game, when everybody else is cheating. Being an honest player in a rigged game is torture.

I’ve done the calculations. There’s no way I can keep playing this stupid game. I quit.

Did I mention dignity?

Dignity is important.

So that’s the why.

When is easy: my career spans four decades. It’ll soon be time for me to have a long-overdue career break. In the absence of any new route to earn money, which is not part of the capitalist society which I refuse to prop up any longer, I refuse to continue to play the game. Therefore, I just need to do the calculation to work out how long I can maintain an acceptable quality of life; how much does my minimum standard of living cost? With that number calculated, I can then set a very precise date for when I need to be dead by.

What about the how?

How is probably easiest of all. I often thought about cutting a carotid artery or jugular vein, but it seems far easier to simply swallow a deadly poison, such as cyanide, which is easily obtained. The how is really the most boring part of it all. Swallow something highly toxic, and it’s done. easy!

It gives me a great deal of comfort knowing that the remaining period of my life will not fall below a minimum acceptable quality. It’s greatly comforting to know that no poverty or destitution awaits me in old age. It’s great to know that pain, discomfort, illness, senility, incontinence and other dignity-robbing ailments of old age, will be completely avoided.

That’s all about me, me, ME! I wrote some other stuff about suicide methods and how to kill yourself. if you’re in the mood to keep reading. Please keep reading or get in contact if you’re in crisis. or do something to pass the time. I find it incredibly therapeutic to write: it’s kept me alive (by a whisker) for many years.

Drugs That Can Kill You in 5 Minutes

If you are considering suicide, you are not alone. Confidential help is available for free.

Call 91-9820466726

People use drugs to briefly step out of reality. Addicts light up to escape the real world for a moment. An alcoholic takes another drink to revisit that “better place” the beverage creates for him. But no one (excluding the suicidal) takes that sniff, puff or sip thinking, “This is how I can kill myself” or “This might kill me in 5 minutes.”

It is important to know two things:

1. Suicide is never the answer.

Life can be very hard and nearly everyone has days where they want to give up. If you are having such a day in your life and your mind is asking the question “how to kill yourself”, then you need to remind yourself that there is hope as well as help. Read stories of others who have struggled with suicide.

2. There is no fastest way to kill yourself.

There is no method to kill yourself that is quick or easy. Often times taking pills or drugs results in significant pain and health consequences and is not certain to result in death.

As a child, you learnt not to put certain things in your mouth because of what it could do to your little body. As adults, it may be time to revisit that child-like mentality as we approach certain substances.

Abusing Drugs and Alcohol as a Way to Kill Yourself

Let us not forget that drugs and alcohol are poisonous; they merit our respect and consideration before use. Don’t join the millions that found out too quickly that when you fool around with toxic substances, you allow your life to swing in the balance.

How Drug Cocktails Can Kill You

A vast majority of drug-related deaths begin with a mixture. In a 2003 report, the Drug Abuse Warning Network cautioned us that an average, 2.7 drugs were used in fatal overdose cases. The body reacts to different drugs in different ways. As an effect, when one drug affects breathing, and the other disturbs brain activity, the body can’t keep up and eventually shuts down. The effect is synergistic, and through teamwork and toxic tendencies, the drugs can kill.

Using drugs purchased illicitly can be very dangerous because you don’t know what might be in the drug. Drugs sold on the street are often cut with various unknown chemicals and have different levels of purity so you don’t know what a safe dosage might be. It is important to never use a drug that is not prescribed and to not mix drugs with alcohol.

Glutamate is generally acknowledged as the most important transmitter for normal brain function. Alcoholic drinks can decrease the effects of glutamate, impairing the judgment of an individual. When this effect is combined with other drugs it can become life-threatening. It is important to carefully read the labels of any prescribed medications and many have warnings regarding mixing with other drugs or alcohol.

There are reported cases where people took a drug cocktail and within five minutes painfully died through suffocation due to the various interactions within the body.

Heroin, Brown Sugar and Other Opiates

Overdoses of heroin kill more people than any other single drug on the market but that does not make heroin overdose a reliably fastest way to die. The initial high given by the drug causes mental confusion, slowed breathing, nausea, and sedation.

But when used in excess, the immediate effects of heroin build up and often result in respiratory failure. This means the body quite literally forgets to breathe and deprives itself of oxygen eventually killing the user.

Government officials warn of various strains of brown sugar and other opiates that may cause overdose, there is no “safe” level of unprescribed opiates since drugs like fentanyl and carfentanil could be cut into the drugs and are highly lethal.

Can Alcohol Kill You?

The effect of alcoholic beverages is directly related to the amount consumed. Through a process called “metabolising,” your liver does its best to eliminate the toxic alcohol from your blood, but it can only handle so much. The excess alcohol is left to circulate throughout the body.

The more alcohol circulating, the more intense its effect; and the more intense the effect, the slower the user breathes. Hence, an alcohol overdose can cause coma and even death by preventing your brain from getting enough oxygen.

The effect of alcoholic beverages is directly related to the amount consumed. Through a process called “metabolising,” your liver does its best to eliminate the toxic alcohol from your blood, but it can only handle so much. The excess alcohol is left to circulate throughout the body.

Can Nicotine Consumption Kill You Quickly?

Can cigarette smoking kill you in a matter of minutes? No, but research from the World Health Organization shows that smoking does kill up to 50% of users and over 8 million people worldwide. Smoking is one of the fastest ways to ensure you will die early. Smoking causes many diseases including painful cancers.

Cocaine

Cocaine, like other stimulants, boosts the release of adrenaline-like hormones causing increased motor activity, heart rate and blood pressure. Cocaine also causes blood vessels to narrow down.

This dangerous release of hormones and thinning blood vessels are connected to heart attacks, brain damage, overheating, and respiratory failure.

Heart Attack: The increased motor activity demands the heart to produce more oxygen. But as the blood vessels narrow, blood supply significantly decreases which often leads to a heart attack.

Brain Damage: The spike in blood pressure can cause blood vessels in the brain to rupture resulting in a cerebral haemorrhage.

Overheating: Because of the boost in motor activity, the body heats up and needs to be cooled. But altering adrenaline hormone levels can influence the body’s ability to cool itself. The result is organ failure and eventual death.

Respiratory Failure: Similar to the effects of Alcohol and Heroin, Cocaine can inhibit a person from breathing, which can lead to death.

Addiction to Deadly Drugs

Beyond the direct and sometimes deadly effect of drugs and alcohol, each of these substances has a direct effect on the mind. They can temporarily distort reality, and influence the user’s perception of what’s around him or her. These distortions are dangerous and addictive.

Think of drugs and alcohol as a poison a toxic substance that can destroy you and the people around you. The best way to take drugs is to take them seriously, and never take them in the first place.

Your life is valuable. Avoid drug cocktails, unknown tablets, charas, heroin, methamphetamine, alcohol, nicotine and cocaine, don’t take a chance with your life.

There are several rehabilitation centres present across many cities in India which offer numerous programmes to help people having addiction problem.

Photo by Kevin Bidwell from Pexels

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

How i can kill myself

This is a story about the control of information.

As is often the case, something I have read or watched has prompted me to write. Today, I felt the urgent need to write about methods of killing yourself. I felt compelled to document every single method of committing suicide, which I could possibly think of.

I’ve noticed a lot of criticism of the owner/operators of forums where suicide is predominantly discussed, and prominent popular indviduals who have large social media followings have been criticised for their participation in the online discussion of suicide which has coalesced around their digital persona.

People don’t kill themselves because they’re encouraged by others, online. People don’t kill themselves because they’re able to easily find the information about the methods of suicide. The reasons why people kill themselves are as complex as the individuals who end their lives prematurely, and to point the finger of blame is pointless; futile.

While it might be true that we see ‘outbreaks’ of suicides which cluster together geographically, almost like a conventional viral, bacterial or parasitic infection, passed from person to person, this does not mean that newspapers, magazines, TV & radio stations and the modern digital equivalents, should never talk about suicides, or the methods. There is no evidence to prove that journalistic guidelines have in any way reduced the likelihood that fellow friends, classmates and other people in the vicinity of a suicide, will commit suicide themselves. We are missing the point: if one person in a particular area of the country, of a certain age, living a certain lifestyle, is compelled to end their life, then why should we be surprised that there are many others who are living on the edge too? It is absolutely untrue that the media and the internet is in any way shape or form responsible for pushing and/or prompting people to end their lives.

We also have to answer the difficult question: is it ethical to force a person to live a miserable and unbearable life? Is it unethical to force a person to endure unending suffering?

People don’t end their lives whimsically. Suicides are meticulously planned. The formation of the idea of killing one’s self is something that has taken place during years of terrible suffering. I say that it is unethical to act in any kind of way to prevent a suffering person from achieving relief from the terrible torments which they have decided are too unbearable. It’s their life at the end of the day. It’s selfish to ask them to keep living an intolerable miserable suffering-filled existence. for what reason? So that you don’t feel sad? Get over yourself. Get a grip. Have some compassion. Show a little empathy.

So, you came here for the good stuff, right?

OK, here are all the ways you can kill yourself, separated into some different sections.

Poisonings and Overdoses

Deaths by overdose are hard to achieve with so-called ‘safe’ modern medications. Your doctor is unlikely to prescribe you enough opiates to allow you to kill yourself, unless you stockpile your supply, and slow-release formulas can make it hard to commit suicide using swallowed tablets. Barbiturates, which are the number one choice of doctors who wish to commit suicide, are never prescribed. There are deadly medications, such as warfarin, but to obtain them is almost impossible.

Were you able to obtain a poison such as strychnine or cyanide, your death would be surprisingly slow and painful. Potassium cyanide particularly, would not be a pleasant easy death, unless combined with a large dose of sedative and a painkiller, because it essentially induces a heart attack.

Blood Loss and Other Trauma

The body has developed very advanced mechanisms to cope with severe lacerations, and blood vessels will spasm and contract to contain loss of blood. The arteries are generally well protected by the anatomy which has evolved to keep us alive.

Generally speaking, cutting the jugular vein(s) is a reliable method of suicide, but there are many variables: the blade must be sharp, the aim must be true, and the cut must be made with force and certainty. It’s more likely that you will end up with a profusely bleeding laceration than a lethal wound.

Cutting one of the carotid arteries must surely be the most reliable way of killing yourself with a knife or razor blade, but detailed anatomical knowledge and a willingness to undergo immense pain, while conducting this surgery on yourself, makes the task almost impossible.

Plunging a sharp object in-between your ribs and into your heart or one of the biggest blood vessels in your body will kill you very quickly, but the chance of you hitting your target is low.

The Japanese Samurai favour disembowelment as an «honourable death». Do not recommend.

Self-immolation would be incredibly painful, and your death would be caused by suffocation: the flames would consume the oxygen from around your body, and your lungs would be burned so badly they would not function. Definitely do not recommend.

Falls From Height

Yes, these will kill you. There is a well documented case of a man who survived a fall from the Golden Gate Bridge, which is about 67 metres (or 220 feet for those who prefer imperial units). In rock climbing terms, that’s about 1 rope length, and there are lots of documented cases of rock climbers who have fallen from the top of a cliff and survived.

This is all about the height, and the surface you’re landing on. Maximum height and solid landing surface = more certain death. I would say that 8 storeys or more, landing on concrete, rock or something similar like that, would guarantee ‘instant’ death. Bear in mind that you would need to jump and also endure the fall, which would both be very traumatic, but it would be a ‘quick’ death versus a poisoning or overdose, for example.

Hanging

Electrocution

Most modern domestic and commercial electrical systems are fitted with systems to prevent electrocution, and as such you would be unlikely to be able to electrocute yourself by, for example, dropping an electrical appliance into the bath-tub while you were in it.

In the interests of a full and frank exploration of all the available suicide options, I must tell you that it’s possible to obtain a lethal electrical current by simply removing the cover of your fuse box, where there are live parts which do not have the protections which you have throughout your house or other premises.

It’s possible that you might only receive a ‘mild’ electrocution, leaving you with very bad burns, tissue and nerve damage, but otherwise alive. For this reason, it’s probably inadvisable for anybody except a trained electrician to commit suicide using this method.

Asphyxiation, Drowning, Suffocation etc

As I wrote before, the hypercapnic alarm response, which is your body’s natural reaction to high carbon dioxide levels in your bloodstream, will cause incredible panic and suffering. As such, drowning yourself by attaching weights to your body and jumping into water, would be a terrible, terrible death. Do not recommend.

To attempt to suffocate yourself, perhaps by putting a plastic bag over your head or other somesuch thing, would result in the elicitation of the hypercapnic alarm response and you would tear the bag off your head, driven by instinct. Your primitive survival instincts would override the neocortical modern brain, which we have unfortunately evolved, leading us to want to commit suicide in the first place.

In order to asphyxiate in the manner which we would all wish to die, which is painlessly and peacefully, the solution is simple: we must breathe a gas which contains no oxygen or carbon dioxide. To breathe the gas from your oven puts your neighbours and firefighters at risk, because a gas explosion will be the likely result. Instead, a bottle of helium can be purchased inexpensively, for the usual purpose of filling baloons. Instead, the helium should be used to provide a steady supply of gas to some kind of ‘hood’ which you wear. By breathing an inert gas like helium, you will quickly lose consciousness and death will follow within some minutes, as your body and brain are deprived of oxygen.

Other

There are things which might work, but are more likely to cause you incredible pain and injury, such as injecting yourself with a bubble of air.

You could obviously starve or dehydrate yourself to death, but this would be time-consuming and result in a slow and painful death, with much suffering.

For those who live in places where firearms are easily obtained, I don’t know why you’re even reading this: if I could get hold of a gun I’d already be dead, I’m sure. That’s not to say that gun control is preventing my suicide; merely that there are easier ways to kill yourself in a country like the UK, but I foolishly have opted for methods which were unlikely to kill me, such as poison, overdose and cutting veins.

The number of ways to cause your body a traumatic injury are innumerable, but an example might be to turn off the airbag on your car and then drive without a seatbelt at 100mph into a concrete pillar which is supporting a bridge.

As you can see, the options are multitudinous and you really don’t need me to list them. You already knew almost all this stuff, and if you didn’t, it was available on a million websites; it was one single Google search away.

For those of you who came here looking for information on how to commit suicide, I empathise. I’ve attempted suicide several times. If you want to talk to somebody who lives with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis and has tried every conventional treatment you can possibly imagine, who won’t try to «talk you out of doing anything» or otherwise patronise you, my Twitter DMs are open and my email address is publicly available.

If you’re suffering, I’m sad about that. I wish people didn’t have to commit suicide, but sometimes they do, because the suffering is too unbearable.

Still thinking about killing yourself? Please read my essay on how to kill yourself.