How to make girlfriend

How to Get a Girlfriend (Detailed Tutorial)

UPDATE: this is an old article. It doesn’t reflect my current way of thinking (you can read more about it here). But that doesn’t mean there is no value in it! It can still be useful to you, like it was helpful to me at some point. Some corrections have been made, but not enough to change its original essence. So, if you find it useful, then use it!

Do you still wonder what are you missing that your friends aren’t, that allows them to have normal relationships with beautiful girls easily? This post will teach you now how to get a girlfriend, keep her, and make her attracted to you.

This is the core knowledge you need to know to get the girl(s) of your dreams, whatever they are, because it’s not about techniques, but about the few principles that 99% of guys are failing to execute.

I’ve read and tried tons of dating info. However I always searched for the core, and luckily, after years of study and trial-and-error —that you’re about to save yourself— I figured it out (hence The Core of Attraction).

These are the key concepts that explain 100% of successful interactions between men and women.

You’ll see they’re super SIMPLE, yet the most powerful framework to make you attractive to girls and get them.

However, there’s a bad side.

Since these are the principles that make women attracted to you, when you start failing at one, you have to react quickly because otherwise you’ll see your girlfriend starts to become less and less interested in the relationship with you… NO exceptions.

In other words, it is just three things to make girls attracted to you, loving, caring, beasts in bed… but you have to follow them to-the-letter.

But if you master these three very basic concepts, you will be immensely attractive to women.

What Attraction Is All About

First let’s clear out what attraction is not:

Attraction is not about getting buff, having big money, dressing fancy designer clothes or having the Dan Bilzerian lifestyle… Is that important? Yes! Of course it is. But what matters is the behavior that gets that stuff.

That’s why you see real morons with hot girlfriends. But that’s actually good news! Because you can enjoy the same without being a moron.

If you have a flaw that affects your confidence (as opposed to a flaw that you don’t really give a crap about), then it’s wise to correct that.

But if you aren’t too obsessed with it, just pay the attention that you would pay to any other little thing.

What is keeping you from scoring hot girls is not the flaw, but the lack of confidence the flaw causes you.

For instance I was overweight in my mid-adolescence and I was extremely sensitive to comments.

But experience has made me realize it was my lack of confidence what made me unattractive. Sometimes the girl was interested in me at first! How do I know that? Because now I’ve been with great girls while being fit and fat!

Do girls prefer a guy with a good body? Sure! How would they not. But just that isn’t going to get you dates.

On the other hand, mastering these basics will get you dates!

It will make girls attracted to you, and you will be able to keep them for the long term, if the girls’ lifestyle and goals aren’t very different from yours.

Studies show that confidence is the #1 trait women are attracted to. And experience confirms it!

It’s the snake that bites its tail: Before you didn’t know how to get a girlfriend ➔ that made you insecure ➔ in the end you didn’t attract girls. That creates a downward spiral that compounds over the years.

To get out of that spiral you have to consciously reverse it —which you are doing now by reading this. But then actually using it out into the real world.

Your Value as a Man Now v. Long-Term

Many guys ask me things like: “I am a non-white nerd, not tall and have a weird voice. Are 21 year-old blonde cheerleaders attracted to me?“

I can’t stress that enough because I see advice like that given over and over: Yeah, you should lose weight. Yeah, you should dress like that. You shouldn’t buy her drinks…

What for guys is most important that girls have is a good body. Then some guys value the intellect —others don’t care. But most attraction triggers are in the body.

However girls value MANY more things, and as I said, confidence is king. Culture sometimes puts and emphasis on some attributes (e.g. getting big) so there’s a correlation (big guys are more confident because they are in tune with society).

Long Term Value

If you’re a blob playing video games all day yet want to get a stunning rich model as a girlfriend, you’ll have to improve your long-term value as a man.

You’ll figure out how to get rich and do the work. You’ll work out hard. You’ll start hanging out and meeting people of their social circles… Because otherwise that girl is going to be a one time thing.

On a crazy night you maybe meet a girl like that, and get her into bed. Especially if from now on you’re the type of guy that wants a different girl every week.

But the “keeping her” part is going to be tough. Because as I said, sharing lifestyle and goals is important in a long-term relationship.

So if your future has that girl in that mansion, great! But don’t postpone your happiness to that moment.

It’s not an option. Plus that’ll charge your batteries to work your butt off towards your long-term goals!

A Numbers Game

You have to look at dating as a numbers game. I know, it sucks —especially if you have a crush.

We’ll see why right away.

You have to change your mindset. The first step is knowing that just by going out and hitting on girls you’ll get one!

Trust me. I’ve seen that to the extreme (success ratios of 1 in 60 aren’t impossible lol).

What you’re doing by learning The Core of Attraction is improving your success ratio to be around 1 in 7 up to 1 in 2 if you’re a beast at it.

There always are “inefficiencies”. Think lesbians, girls with solid relationships, girls you’ve done terribly bad with in the past… You can’t force a relationship out of those girls. So the numbers game is inevitable.

By the way. If you have a huge crush on a girl that doesn’t even suspect it. If you are trying to turn a “toxic” girl into your girlfriend (meaning, a girl who plays with you). If you’re clinging on that girl just because she showed some interest in you…

Our brains always try to close gaps between what we started and what we want.

It happens with stupid things like watching a movie till the end. But also for bigger life-goals.

For instance I had a huge crush for a few months on a girl who had a boyfriend. She was clearly interested in me at first, but I hesitated and didn’t do anything “solid” about it. My crush was irrational, since now I would have to break the couple AND to then get the girl.

The moment I suspected she was interested in me, my neediness made me picture images of the two of us together. The gap between my situation and what I wanted was created. Now, even though I didn’t have “the tools” yet, my energy was still focused on getting her.

So if you have a huge crush on a girl, reflect on your situation. I know it’s hard to fight the irrational part of our brains. But I suggest, focus on the number’s game for some time and you’ll get a girlfriend that will actually love you 10x what you imagine. 🙂

How to Attract Women

We’ve covered THE mindset. That’s the potatoes. Now the meat:

Attracting girls comes down to TWO concepts. That’s the equation I always sought that explains any successful interaction:
1. The Three Behaviors
2. The Levels of Intimacy

1. The Three Behaviors

To attract women you must show ALL three of the following behaviors:

Showing The Three Behaviors is really simple. It may be a sentence, or a gesture, a situation… Don’t overthink it. For instance, making her feel sexually desired maybe it’s just telling her she’s hot in that dress. Showing confidence is not being affected by whatever she tells you or whatever happens to you. Protection is hugging her at the right time she needs it, but ignoring her IF she starts asking crazy high-maintenance things.

➔ Keep those three guidelines in mind at ALL times and the right thing to do will be naturally clear at any moment.

I’ll bring your attention to a few key aspects.

Behavior 1: Confidence (what I call “ Your Own Life First “)

First of all, relax! Just chill… Dedicate a few moments to tell yourself everything is alright and find relief within yourself. It is very easy –since we are learning “the right thing to do to attract women”– to put them on a pedestal because, after all, they are the goal you are trying to achieve. That is fine. You want to be with women. But set your priorities straight. Nothing external in this world will bring you happiness. You choose to put yourself in a better, and better, and better, and better mood… And then, you get to enjoy your time with a woman you like.

Think of something you were really eager to get, and once you got it, you were really happy –for a while. Your life is probably better with it than without it. But now, it is just a normal thing to you. That exact process will happen with getting a girlfriend. You will enjoy it, for sure! But it will become normal. And if you conditioned yourself into doing things you didn’t like just to be with her… Very soon you’ll ask yourself why you did that. So don’t.

That doesn’t mean thinking poorly of them, degrading them, or anything like that. That is so the typical overreaction that many men sadly choose. Simply, take women off the pedestal.

The idea is that you actually have an interesting life that matters to you. A life with a purpose that you enjoy and solid beliefs.

This is a very broad concept because it can mean many things. Your solid beliefs may be being a successful entrepreneur, so you attract the best girls of your social circle of high-achievers. Your solid beliefs may be being laid-back and just having a good time, and you attract those types of girls (mainly).

And since you have solid beliefs and act accordingly, you don’t lose your time with girls that slow you down.

All those questions like “what should I do? she’s driving me crazy!” and stuff like that are completely out of the equation. You listen to her, of course. But your life comes first and you don’t accept any games that may put your time or the relationship in jeopardy.

You do not react negatively to bad behavior, because letting emotions get in the way of something important is a waste of time.

Imagine you’re the CEO of a Fortune 500 company being asked by the new janitor to earn as much as he does. You will just laugh out loud, or ignore him out of respect, you give him a kind warning for this time and move on.

THAT is the correct reaction to stupidity.

Any bad reaction is just having the ego hurt. But if you truly have a life with purpose and play the numbers game, some girl’s rejection shouldn’t hurt the ego.

Unconfident guys do anything to please a girl in the hopes of getting her. But what they’re actually doing is repelling the girl with their puppy attitude. Isn’t that ironic?

Girls don’t become attracted in absolutes. Many guys ask me: “does she like me?” It’s not black or white. That’s thinking like a man: “is she hot?” Women’s attraction levels are more dynamic.

Imagine you like a girl who is stunning. One that makes you horny just by looking at her. One that you have a hard time just thinking of talking to her. But then, you approach and start talking, and start seeing huge layers of make-up. Then, her wig falls off. Then one of her silicone boobs explodes! Etc.

Any time you choose “hopes of getting a girl” over “my life first” is the same for her.

Behavior 2: Protection

The second behavior —protection— is taking care of your girl, encouraging her if she’s vulnerable, connecting emotionally, listening, letting her know with with words and actions that you will be there, helping her, etc. Even rewarding her with gestures or gifts.

Protection is very misunderstood because most needy men do it too much.

I see this over and over. It happened to me too.

Girls asking absolutely crazy things to their boyfriends or even just potential suitors, entering a cycle that ends with a broken relationship.

Girls lose attraction in gallons every time you do what she asks while she’s disrespectful. It’s against the behavior 1 (confidence.)

They do this at any stage. I remember one friend… He liked a girl and she made him hold her jacket for about half an hour at a club.

They ask for drinks without deserving it. They tell you to stop seeing your friends…

A respectful girl who deserves feeling protected by you:

It’s not a competition. The point of a relationship is to be mutually beneficial. So you should be protective, but she has to do her part or not only she will be detrimental for you as a person, but she will lose attraction by the second.

Behavior 3: Making The Girl Feel Sexually Desired

This last behavior doesn’t require much explanation. It’s just that.

When you just don’t know her, making her sexually desired is something as simple as holding her stare. When you already know her a bit, is telling her she’s stunning in that dress. When you’re a couple of some time, it’s catching her by surprise and ripping her clothes off.

You get the idea.

You can be more explicit the more intimacy you have with her.

If you noticed, all three behaviors get more intense as you grow intimate with her. We’ll see that, but before:

“But what about…? I thought that was important!”

You may be thinking. “I didn’t know that talking about our future together is protection. I need more details like that!“

Don’t think that way, because you’re missing my point.

When you want to do something, just think:

“Does this adjust to The Three Behaviors?”

The Three Behaviors are stated with one sentence. They are simple to understand. Right?

You don’t have to worry about knowing 100x. With basic knowledge about society that you already have, you have more than enough to be a beast.

Think of TV series like House MD or CSI. Each episode is different. But the plot structure is always the same. Yet they attract millions of viewers every week.

Think of The Core of Attraction in the same way. Using this line over that one in your text message is irrelevant. What matters is making sure you’re screening through the framework.

Obviously, the smarter you become and the more experience you gain, the more “tools” you’ll have. That’s one of the reasons you should keep reading my blog! 🙂

Your current grasp of The Three Behaviors is enough to go out, attract high-quality girls and make them your girlfriend. If you hesitate about something, simply ask me.

But I just said The Three Behaviors need to be shown proportionally to the Level of Intimacy you’re at. That’s the other part of The Core of Attraction equation:

2. The Levels of Intimacy

A basic sequence:

I don’t add all steps because it can have some variation, but you get the idea of it being progressive. My point is for you to start seeing it as levels of a video game.

Guys don’t know a girl and start asking how they can get her. You have to go step by step!

When I see clear indications, I mean signs of attraction that you have to understand, normally in her behavior, attitude and body language showing interest in you.

But in general, you have to follow incremental steps to make her want to be with you.

For example, it’s not the same to apply the behavior 2: protection in level 0 where you don’t know her (so you care about her exactly as the stranger she is) than in level 4 where you already know her (so you ask her how was her day, comfort her…)

Very important reminder: The Three Behaviors must be present at all levels.

As a general rule, you can’t skip too many levels without showing all behaviors.

For instance, she won’t allow kissing if you haven’t showed ANY sexual interest in her several times before, like touching her in a non-sexual way at first, telling her she’s pretty, looking at her deep into her eyes, etc.

Especially at first, focus on going step by step and showing all behaviors at all levels.

Just a sentence “how was your day?” can complete the protection quota at the first levels. Just a text message where you answer “sorry I’m at the gym now, but I can’t tonight, I’m working on my big project” completes the “your own life first” quota for that level because it tells a lot about how awesome you are. That’s why it can happen very fast.

How and When to Level Up The Relationship

You now have a super powerful structure that will allow you to get infinite girls.

Whenever you’re with a hot girl you like, you’ll think:

It is that simple!

That happens at ALL levels man. Keep that ultra simple process in mind and you’ll get a girlfriend very soon.

So when do you know she’s ready to level up?

As a general rule, you want to go to the next level when she’s clearly comfortable at your current level. For instance when she’s having fun with you.

You make it easier if she doesn’t expect it because she likes that confidence —but it’s not 100% necessary.

What is necessary is to level up the moment you have the opportunity. You MUST level up or she will start questioning things.

And how do you keep the dynamics of the interaction throughout all levels? Check out my post on how to talk to girls.

Your Obstacles: Fear and Need

To put The Three Behaviors to use is extremely easy. What is not easy for some people is to overcome the obstacles in their current mindset.

Those obstacles are fear and its counterpart need (it’s a consequence of fear too).

Fear keeps you from showing a behavior. For example, it keeps you from jokingly telling her that she’s so hot in that dress that you’ll make her three babies right now. Why? Because you’re afraid of her reaction. You’re afraid of losing her. You’re afraid of this. You’re afraid of that.

When it’s actually your fear (lack of confidence) what’s keeping you from attracting her.

Need makes you go too fast because you want her now. For example, by being too sexual or too protective when you just met her.

Being too sexual too soon is the typical reason girls call guys “pigs”. Then you see her laughing and acting silly around some bad boy that called her something worse. That’s because the “pig” called her that too early, without showing behaviors 1 and 2.

Being too protective too soon, for instance by buying flowers and gifts while she acts disrespectfully or doesn’t pay attention to us, make her lose even more respect of us as sexual partners, and we become providers instead of sexual partners.

The point is: you have to remove fear and need so you don’t fall short or do too much, too fast.

I think the two biggest tools to overcome it are visualization and self-discipline. I’ll talk more about them on the blog (subscribe):

How to Get a Girlfriend

Now that you know everything there is to know, you have to put it to use.

Step 1

Write down (no joking) your girlfriend-related goals. What type of girlfriend do you want? What are her physical traits? What are her personality traits? First, you want to bang a few random chicks? How many? By when?

By being this specific you gain clarity. And that allows you to go to step 2:

Step 2

Based on those goals, what should you start doing now? Based on my current approach-to-date success ratio, how many approaches should I make per week? What roadblocks do I need to overcome?

Write down what you need to do too.

Step 3

Now you have a goal, and you have a plan. The next step is to obviously, execute!

Don’t become discouraged if your success ratio is at first a bit low. See yourself as improving your levels at a video game. Nobody cares about that rejection. Only you care. I care but only if it affects you. And girls are (really) used to it and they actually get more attracted when you don’t react negatively (Behavior 1: confidence.) Not just the girl that rejected you, but the girls around and her girlfriends.

Until you actually go out and open your mouth in front of a hot girl, you’re not doing actual progress, because The Core of Attraction is still only in your head. You don’t have feedback except from your past of not applying it.

So go out and kill it!

Wrapping It Up

I hope to have given you the real key to the hearts and legs of the women you really want.

I want to make it super convenient for you to approach girls and know what to do. So as a thank you for sharing this post I created this cool and convenient graphic to save on your phone and remember the key concepts at any time.
I really hope this post helped you. Which of the three behaviors have you applied successfully in the past and which not? What are you going to change now?

How to Make Your Girlfriend Like You More

This article was co-authored by Collette Gee. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of «Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending.» Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette’s coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

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Are you in a relationship right now and you want to make your girlfriend like you more? It’s tough when you really care about someone and you feel like she doesn’t feel the same way. Luckily, there are some ways to make her like you more.

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About This Article

You might be struggling to come up with ideas to make your girlfriend like you better, but by spending more quality time with her and treating her better, you can do it! Make time in your schedule to be together and do fun things, like watching a movie or going to your favorite restaurant, which will show her you’re committed to the relationship. Even if you can’t be together, show her you’re thinking of her by sending a text or leaving her a note to say you miss her. When you get together, ask her about her interests so you can plan things to do that you both enjoy. You should also compliment her regularly to show your appreciation. You can tell her you love her sense of humor or even just say you like her outfit. Just remember not to overdo the compliments, because this can make them seen insincere. Giving her a gift now and again will also show her you care, so try bringing her flowers or a box of chocolates from time to time. For tips on how to overcome your disagreements in a way that will make her like you more, read on!

How to Turn a Girl Friend Into a Girlfriend

This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist, Author, and TV/radio host based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in individual and couples’ relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. As an author, she received a Next Generation Indie Book Award for her book «Thriving with ADHD: A Workbook for Kids» and also wrote «Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband». Kelli was a host on LA Talk Radio, a relationship expert for The Examiner, and speaks globally. You can also see her work on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/kellibmiller, Instagram @kellimillertherapy, and her website: www.kellimillertherapy.com. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 1,983,798 times.

One day, you find yourself looking at your girl friend as more than just a friend who happens to be a girl. You start looking at her as girlfriend material, and wanting to get closer to her on a romantic level. This is a tricky situation to be in, because you want to figure out how she feels without jeopardizing your friendship in the process. But if you play your cards right, you may be able to turn your girl friend into a girlfriend in no time.

How To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Jealous And Want You More?

Tricks to get your girlfriend’s undivided love and attention.

Rohan was an HR analyst before transitioning into a freelance writer/ editor. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration with a specialization in Human Resources from Christ University, B. more

If your girlfriend seems too occupied to give attention to you, try making her jealous. While there can be several tips and tricks on how to make your girlfriend jealous, the catch is not to overdo it.

Making your partner jealous seems mean and unjust. But when in the right amount, jealousy can act as a trigger to drive a relationship. It can push your partner to try new things and bring back the lost charm. Also, it sparks fun once your girlfriend knows of your good intentions to make her jealous. She will surely feel much loved knowing that your adoration and yearning for her attention were the reasons why you decided to make her jealous in the first place.

Read his post to find some ways to make your girlfriend jealous.

23 Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Jealous

Here are some simple ways to make your girlfriend jealous. When trying them out, use sound judgment to make sure she doesn’t get too upset. After all, you want to make her jealous to have fun.

1. Compliment other women

You can make anyone’s day by complimenting them. Your girlfriend would like it when you flatter her, but not when you praise other girls. One of the easiest ways to make her jealous is by talking about other women’s looks or behavior. However, you can be subtle by complimenting another woman’s career, social life, or overall personality.

2. Talk to other women when you’re with her

We don’t mean you should start an hour-long conversation with another woman when you’re on a date with your girlfriend. But you could try a few nuanced ways to make your partner jealous. For instance, text or call a female friend. While doing so, overlook what your girlfriend is saying or doing, and you may find her making a poker face at you.

3. Try to work on your appearance

Maintaining a good appearance is a perfectly normal thing to do when you are on a date or vacation. However, if you are constantly working on your appearance, even when running small errands, it could make your girlfriend wonder why. The idea could be effective if you generally don’t put much effort into your looks, even on special days.

4. Make it seem like she’s not your top priority

If you’re occasionally busy when your girlfriend calls you or have plans with friends when she wants to meet you, it’s perfectly normal. She won’t mind if she has her own social life. But if that keeps happening and hanging out with your friends becomes your top priority all of a sudden, she may start feeling jealous.

5. Forget plans you’ve made

Vacations, outings, or even a simple dinner date —forgetting these plans is sure to make your girlfriend jealous. She might get angry too. To make this even more effective, you can show you remember other occasions such as a sports match or a movie release date but not the plans you made with her.

6. Be overly polite to other women

Being a gentleman is all well and good until you go out of your way for another girl. Doing gentlemanly things such as picking up and dropping a female colleague or helping a female neighbor with daily chores could make your girlfriend suspicious. If this is not generally who you are, you will find the shades of jealousy in your girlfriend.

7. Show your talents

It may sound counterintuitive but can play a significant role when it comes to jealousy. If you have a skill or quality that you don’t show often, flaunt them near other women or in social settings and make her jealous. It could be you being an excellent musician, a great chef, or even something as simple as having a great sense of humor. Regardless, if she’s worried that other women will notice these qualities in you, she may fear losing you and will be jealous.

8. Be secretive for no reason

You don’t have to act like a CIA agent to make your girlfriend jealous. You can lock your phone, chuckle while texting, or pretend like you are hiding things from her. She would start to wonder what’s making you act so secretive and get jealous.

9. Show her you are happy without her

Everyone needs some alone time occasionally. But if you show your girlfriend you are happy sans her, she’ll be jealous in no time. Express how enjoyable it is when you hang out with your friends, spend time with your family, or stay in the office for a long time with colleagues. As she wants to be the person who makes you feel good, she will be jealous.

10. Have a close female friend

Platonic relationships between men and women could exist anywhere. But if you have a close female friend who you can confide in and she’s your go-to person, it could make your girlfriend a little jealous. However, you have to be cautious in this situation because things can become bitter if you are not able to maintain a balance. You can play pranks and make her jealous, but reveal it before it goes overboard.

11. Overlook or ignore her

No girl will like her boyfriend ignoring or overlooking her. To make her feel jealous, you can try rejecting her calls or ignoring her messages. And at the same time, if she notices you actively posting on social media or you’re out with other friends, she would be jealous. Do it casually and do not go to extreme levels that could cause her pain. Remember, you want her to be jealous, not hateful.

12. Be inconsistent in displaying your affection

You can change the dynamics between you and your girlfriend and make her ponder over it. For instance, be loving and doting one day and turn passive and indifferent the next day. On the days where you aren’t giving her the attention and love, she may wonder what has changed and if she’s doing something wrong. If there is no readily available answer, she would be jealous, thinking your emotional needs are fulfilled by someone else.

13. Pay attention to others, not her

When you are in a social event, laugh and compliment others’ stories, jokes, and experiences, and be more attentive to them. Try ignoring her all the while. It works better if you’re enjoying your girlfriend’s friend’s company. While it may initially look like you’re making an effort with them, she will eventually grow jealous of the attention they’re getting from you.

14. Make it a point to show how self-sufficient you are

Whenever there’s a prolonged separation, it is normal to show that you miss your partner or wish you were with them. If you want to make your girlfriend jealous, don’t do that. Let her be the one to call or text you first when you are away from each other. To make it more fun, you can even act nonchalant when she tells you she misses you or loves you by responding blandly, saying, ‘me too,’ ‘yeah,’ and ‘okay, sure.’ The key is to show disinterest and not to be rude outright.

15. Be close to an ex

Even in the healthiest of relationships, exes are a touchy subject. If you suddenly get close to your ex by meeting or calling her often, your girlfriend is likely to get jealous. If she’s convinced it’s platonic, you can increase the frequency of these visits/conversations to see how she reacts. Make sure you don’t cross any lines as the objective is to make your girlfriend feel jealous in a healthy way and not hurt her.

16. Compare her with other women

Comparing partners with others is not welcomed in a relationship. However, you can do it playfully. For example, if she is late for something or forgets something, you can state your friend’s girlfriend is punctual. If she achieves something, you can playfully say someone else did it better. Such things can make her even more jealous as she won’t like it.

17. Comment on women’s attractiveness

18. Get fit and brag about it

Regardless of your fitness level, if you manage to get noticeably fitter and post about it, people are bound to notice. It is prevalent in the age of social media. You can casually upload a vacation picture or post-workout picture to get a lot of attention from people. It can make your girlfriend jealous that other women find you attractive.

19. Rave about your celebrity crush

We all have that one actor, model, or celebrity we are attracted to. That’s natural. You can talk about them in front of your girlfriend, as long as you don’t overdo it. You can pass innocuous comments about how they’re in such great shape or how the outfit or hairstyle suits them. While she can get jealous about this, it’s equally natural to be attracted to celebrities.

20. Be touchy with other women, within acceptable limits

Platonic relationships do exist and are normal. But if you engage with a female friend physically often, it will trigger jealousy from your girlfriend. Even if your intention isn’t to flirt or make her jealous, gestures such as patting on the shoulder, hugging, playing with each other’s hair, or adjusting clothes or spectacles can seem intimate to a third party, especially your girlfriend.

21. Connect more deeply with friends

We often confide things to our friends that we don’t with our partners. It happens when you have a close or an old friend. Sharing your deepest secrets, fears, and ambitions with them need not manifest as competitive jealousy. But if you show her that your friend is more reliable and you trust your friend more, it can elicit jealousy.

22. Don’t commit to a long-term relationship

Not rushing to commit is a perfectly normal thing to do and well within your rights. It’s okay to take time deciding on moving in together or getting married as these are big steps to take in a relationship. However, if you are ready to take those big leaps and want to make your girlfriend jealous, you could avoid talking about it or change the subject when she brings it up.

23. Look for attention on social media

It is something most people do, and not necessarily to make their partners jealous. But in a relationship, it’s an unspoken rule that you shouldn’t flirt on social media. If you do it, your girlfriend will be jealous as she will see you seeking validation and compliments from obscure or even random people on the Internet.

Deliberately eliciting jealousy is a tricky balancing act. If you cross the line, you may lose your girlfriend as she would like to be with someone who appreciates her. And if you make her feel too secure in the relationship, she might take it for granted, or your relationship could become boring. Finding the middle ground between the two requires sound judgment and moderation.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is it okay to make my girlfriend jealous?

If your intentions are not to hurt your girlfriend but only to tease her, then it is okay to make her feel jealous. However, do not go overboard. If you sense your girlfriend is too upset or worried about the relationship, it is better to reveal your plan.

2. How to make my girlfriend jealous over text?

You may change your display image, tell her you are keeping busy, or talk about another girl constantly, so she gets annoyed. You could even send her a text or emojis and delete them before she sees it. Nonetheless, make sure you are not hurting her feelings.

3. How to make her jealous on social media?

One of the best ways to make her jealous on social media is by posting an unusual status or a picture with an interesting caption. For example, you may post a scenic view and mention, ‘reminds me of someone.’ You could even try liking others’ pictures or commenting on girls’ posts.

In an ideal relationship, you want your partner to feel safe and loved. However, if you want to stoke the fire to reignite some sparks in your relationship, making your girlfriend jealous can help you do so. All of the above-mentioned suggestions, including talking to and complimenting other females, and forgetting the plans you made together, can help you figure out how to make your girlfriend jealous. But be careful and do not go too far to make sure it doesn’t backfire.

How to Make Your Ex Girlfriend Want You Again

This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist, Author, and TV/radio host based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in individual and couples’ relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. As an author, she received a Next Generation Indie Book Award for her book «Thriving with ADHD: A Workbook for Kids» and also wrote «Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband». Kelli was a host on LA Talk Radio, a relationship expert for The Examiner, and speaks globally. You can also see her work on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/kellibmiller, Instagram @kellimillertherapy, and her website: www.kellimillertherapy.com. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

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Splitting up is hard, but it’s great to have your ex wanting you back. The process of making her like you again starts right after you break up. Everything you do can potentially hurt or help your case. By taking the time to analyze your relationship, work on yourself, and strategically communicate with her, you can win her back.