How to persuade people

6 ways to persuade anyone of anything

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You might want a raise from your employer, a partnership with a new business that opened up, or maybe just some extra dipping sauce for your chicken fingers without paying that 50-cent additional charge.

You can get many things in life by simply convincing someone else to give them to you — but they aren’t going to give it to you without a good reason.

Your greatest tool to get what you want is through the psychology of persuasion.

Here are seven persuasive tactics you can use to get what you want from anyone.

1. Be confident

Your first step is to remain and project confidence throughout the entirety of your appeal. The more confident you are, the more convincing your arguments are going to sound, and the more powerful you’re going to appear. Confidence is easy to fake and hard to distinguish, so don’t be afraid if you don’t feel confident — just act confident, and that will probably be enough.

A study by the University of Leicester found that «the single significant behavioral difference between persuaders and persuadees was in the expression of confidence.»

Confidence subtly implies that you’re already convinced you’re going to get what you want, which subtly influences the other party to give it to you. Just be careful not to overextend your exhibition of confidence, or you’ll run the risk of turning people off with arrogance.

2. Introduce a logical argument

People are easily persuaded by logic. The Conflict Research Consortium of the University of Colorado states that «persuasion is the process of convincing an opponent to change his or her beliefs and/or behavior through moral or logical argument (rather than force). When someone is persuaded to do something, they do it because they have come to believe it is the right or best thing to do.»

For example, let’s say you’re persuading your coworker to take on one of the more challenging pieces of an assignment you’re working on together.

Initially, your coworker might resist, but you can use a logical argument to explain that he/she is better equipped to handle that section, meaning the assignment will be done faster and more efficiently, making both of you look good and helping the company in the process.

3. Make it seem beneficial to the other party

Obviously, there’s a lot of work involved with moving, and your friend may not be so willing to go along with it. Instead of talking about all the furniture you need to move, talk about how much fun it will be to go through your old junk, or about how you’re buying pizza for everyone afterward, or how you’re giving some old things away in the process.

4. Choose your words carefully

Your goal here isn’t to inject big words into your sentences, but rather to arrange your sentences to ensure your meaning comes across precisely. In the process, you’ll come across as a better communicator, which will make you seem more intelligent and thoughtful, and therefore more trustworthy.

5. Use flattery

For example, instead of telling your boss, «Hey, that’s a really nice tie, do you think I could take an extra hour for lunch today?» try something like, «Can I have an extra hour for lunch today? I know you’re usually flexible, but I wanted to run it past you to be sure.»

6. Be patient, but persistent

You can’t always persuade your subject to give you what you want on the first try. If you’re unsuccessful, don’t resort to pleading, begging, or arguing. Instead, let the situation go, recollect yourself, and try again at a later time.

Your persuasive messages will linger in his or her subconscious, and the next time you bring up the argument, you have a chance to seem more reasonable (and more persuasive). Don’t abandon your goal, but do leave plenty of time between attempts.

Remember that persuasion is a skill that can be honed and improved over time. You won’t be successful the first time you put these tactics into practice (most likely), but the more often you use them, the more skilled and natural you’ll be in their execution.

Take care not to manipulate or bully people; instead, your goal should be to help them see things in a different light.

Jayson DeMers is the founder and CEO of AudienceBloom, a Seattle-based content marketing and social media agency. You can contact him on LinkedIn, Google+, or Twitter.

How to Persuade Someone

This article was co-authored by Guy Reichard. Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.

There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 98,029 times.

Persuasion comes up every day, whether you’re trying to get someone to close a business deal or convince a friend that you’re on the right side of a debate. Some people say that persuasion is an art, but it doesn’t have to be that complicated. You just have to show the other person that giving you what you want is in their best interest, and there are a lot of different ways you can do that. Not sure where to start? Don’t worry—to help you out, we’ve compiled a list of ways to easily persuade anyone of anything.

12 Practical Ways To Persuade Anyone To Do Anything Easily

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Have you ever met someone who could get you to do anything? I have, and I’ve always craved this seemingly out-of-reach ability.

There are countless books and college courses that all claim to hold the keys to persuasion. They’re valuable resources for learning how to persuade, but they tend to overcomplicate the matter and ignore practical methods of communicating effectively with people.

You don’t have to be a master salesman with endless confidence in order to be more persuasive. You simply need to pay closer attention to the basics so that you can twist the odds of success in your favor.

1. Make your words powerful.

The pitch itself needs to be full of words that actually elicit a response. You can do this easily by framing your statements around key phrases.

For example, “car accident” is a phrase that makes you think of many different types of vehicle collisions. But if you’re trying to persuade someone to buy car insurance, you won’t say that there are thousands of car accidents each day. You’ll say that there are thousands of car-related deaths every day.

“Death” is a more powerful word than “accident,” and advertisers use this method every day in order to convince people to buy products.

Here are some more words that are claimed to be the most persuasive in the English language.

2. Dress up, but don’t talk down.

Nice clothes go a long way in helping you maintain confidence, even if no one is around to see you. The nasty side effect is that being the most well-dressed person in the room can result in talking down or being condescending to people who are actually above you.

This is an easy trap to fall into because if we feel like we have the power in a conversation, we’re more likely to patronize the person by saying things like, “Oh, well let me explain this to you. It’s really quite simple.” The problem is that if it isn’t simple, or if you’re not communicating well, you’ve pretty much lost them.

Keep in mind that the person you’re pitching to is above you. They have the power to say “no.” You don’t want them to realize this, obviously, because you need to maintain control over the conversation, but talking down to the person is challenging them to a contest you don’t want to take part in. Remember that there is a fine line between arrogance and being assertive.

3. Focus on the future.

Using future tense is a great way to establish confidence. It helps the other person know that you are moving forward and ready to carry out what you promise.

You can do this easily by abusing the word will. Phrases like “We will” and “Then we’ll do this” will get the person used to the idea that this is going to happen.

That said, don’t be pushy. Try not to make decisions for the other person, but instead talk about possibilities and the effects of decisions that can be made.

4. Make yourself scarce.

People want what they can’t have. Make it clear that this offer you’re extending to them won’t last for ever, and they will be missing out.

This especially works if you’re selling a product. Common tactics for offloading new products is by intentionally making them scarce and rare, which triggers something in people to “Get it now while you can!”

Here is a great guide on the psychology of scarcity that you can refer to.

5. Choose the right medium for your pitch.

You’re trying to convince someone to do something they probably don’t want to do (yet). This means that cultivating the environment for your pitch is quite essential.

Study the person and determine how they prefer to communicate. Simply asking them if they like to talk on the phone instead of email goes a long way, just as long as you give them some options.

I’ve even come across people who are more comfortable texting than talking face to face. Keep this in mind and choose a medium centered around them, not you.

6. Speak their language.

Finishing a person’s sentence is a bad habit to get into. This is because you’re inserting your own “speak” into their independent thoughts.

Listen closely to how the person talks and watch how they carry themselves. Choose your own approach accordingly. Do they stray from jargon? You should too. Do they make jokes and end their sentences with prepositions? Match that with your own relaxed style.

Even body language should be matched effectively. If they like to talk with their hands, that means their ideal form of communication is active, so it is helpful for you to do the same. If their language is reserved and closed off (arms are closed, etc), then you know to avoid gestures that would make them feel uncomfortable.

This technique is useful for addressing groups of people as well. Try to get a feel for the room and study what makes people react positively to what you say. Learn what works and apply it accordingly.

7. Avoid verbal fillers.

Every time you let “um” or “uh” interrupt your speech, you lose credibility with the person you’re speaking to. It won’t even matter that what you have to say is important.

Be clear and let your speech flow. The best way to do this is by practicing your speech at home or thinking for a second before speaking.

8. Do something for them.

As a kid, you probably said something nice to your parents before asking them for something. Even at a young age, we realize that people are more likely to help us out if they’re returning the favor for something we’ve done.

You can do this before you even pitch anything. If you start off a networking relationship with a favor, that person will be more likely to work with you later on.

You should also return the favor, because you never know what’s being noticed about you. I once recommended a great website on this site, which was an unsolicited favor. The recipient of this favor was so grateful for the spike in sales that they sent me free merchandise. I didn’t ask for it and they definitely didn’t have to, but it cemented a relationship that could lead to more mutual benefits in the future.

9. Be a master of timing.

This goes along with getting to know the person you’re pitching to. Study them and find out the best time to talk to them.

For example, some busy executives are swamped during the beginning of the week and check out mentally on Friday. This means that Thursday may be the best time to approach a person you need to persuade.

This is easier if you’re trying to persuade a friend or loved one because you understand them better. Pick the right timing to talk to them, and your odds of success will shoot way up.

10. Express your opinion reluctantly.

You want the other person to believe in you. You have all of the answers, but how did you get there?

Talk about what you used to believe, and what you believe now. Use your own learning experience as a story that they can model after. By doing this, you are pacing the conversation/pitch and giving the person assurance that this will work for them.

11. Repeat what they say.

Prove that you are listening to and acknowledging the thoughts and feelings of the person you’re talking to. You can affirm their stance by simply saying,

“If I’m understanding you correctly, you’re saying that you find this important because of XY and Z. I ubderstand that, and think AB and C.”

Trust me, this comes in handy even when you’re not addressing the alphabet.

12. Build to your emotions.

Let your emotional responses, such as enthusiasm and excitement, naturally develop during the conversation. Don’t overwhelm the person with a zeal they don’t feel yet.

In many cases, you’ll want to wait until the end of your pitch to start sprinkling in the emotion and passion. This will ensure that it comes across as sincere and logically founded on what’s already been said.

A good rule of thumb is to start the conversation on an upbeat but relaxed note. As you start discussing the topic at hand, gradually grow more excited and passionate about what you’re talking about. This way, the person won’t feel like they’re being “worked.” They’ll instead feel like you are doing them a favor.

How to Persuade and Influence People to Achieve Personal Power

Your ability to persuade and influence people to help you get the things you want in life is one of the most important skills you can develop. By learning how to persuade and influence people, you can achieve greater personal power and get more of the things you want faster than anything else you do. It can mean the difference between success and failure. It can guarantee your progress and enable you to use all of your other skills and abilities at the very highest level. Learning how to persuade people will earn you the support and respect of your customers, bosses, co-workers, colleagues and friends. The ability to influence others to do what you want them to do can make you one of the most important people in your community.

Your job is to become absolutely excellent at influencing and motivating others to support and assist you in the achievement of your goals and the solving of your problems. All truly effective people have mastered the art of getting lots of other people to work with and for them in the accomplishment of their objectives. You can learn this skill set to achieve personal power and master the art of influencing others.

How Human Interaction Affects Your Ability to Influence People

The opposite of being influential is having little or no influence at all on the behaviors of other people. It is the difference between being powerful and being powerless. You can either persuade others to help you or be persuaded to help them. It is one or the other. Most people are not aware that every human interaction involves a complex process of persuasion and influence. And being unaware, they are usually the ones being persuaded to help others rather than the ones who are influencing people to help them.

All successful people with personal power are speaking persuasion experts. They give a lot of thought to how they can get other people to help them. They plan and strategize before they act. They define their goals clearly and then they choose the people whose cooperation they will need to achieve those goals. They then think about what they will have to do in return to get the other people to help them. They achieve their goals of persuasion and influence indirectly.

The key to persuasion is motivation. Every human action is motivated by something. In order to learn how to persuade others, you must find out what motivates other people and then to provide that motivation. People have two major motivations: the desire for gain, and the fear of loss. The desire for gain motivates people to want more of the things they value in life. They want more money, more success, more health, more influence, more respect, more love and more happiness.

Human wants are limited only by individual imagination. No matter how much a person has, he or she still wants more and more. When you can show a person how he or she can get more of the things he or she wants by helping you achieve your goals, you can motivate them to act in your behalf and achieve greater personal power.

Learn more about consumer behavior and how to increase your sales from my book:
The Psychology of Selling

How to Persuade Others Through Leverage

You can learn how to persuade others by using leverage. Leverage means that you learn how to multiply yourself and get far more out of the hours you put in rather than doing everything yourself.

You leverage yourself through other people’s efforts by getting other people to work with you and for you in the accomplishment of your objectives. Sometimes you can ask them to help you voluntarily, although people won’t work for very long without some personal reward. At other times you can hire them to help you, thereby freeing you up to do higher value work.

The definition of management is “Getting things done through others.” To be a manager you must improve your personal power and know how to persuade and influence people to work in a common direction. This is why all excellent managers are also excellent low-pressure salespeople. They do not order people to do things, instead, they influence people to accept certain responsibilities, with specific deadlines, and agreed upon standards of performance. When a person has been persuaded that he has a vested interest in doing a job well, he accepts ownership of the job and the result. Once a person accepts ownership and responsibility, the manager can step aside confidently, knowing the job will be done on schedule.

Achieve Personal Power by Becoming an Expert

You can learn how to persuade others and can develop your personal power by always remembering that there are only two ways to get the things you want in life, you can do it all yourself, or you can get most of it done by others. Your ability to communicate, persuade, negotiate, influence, delegate and interact effectively with other people will enable you to develop leverage using other people’s efforts, other people’s knowledge and other people’s money. The development of your personal power will enable you to become one of the most powerful and influential people in your organization. By learning how to persuade and influence people, it will open up doors for you in every area of your life.

I hope you enjoyed this post on how to achieve personal power by learning how to persuade and influence people. Do you think that the ability to influence people is useful in your line of work? Please comment with your answer below!

The best ways to persuade people

I get really nervous about asking people for things. I hate confrontation, and I find it uncomfortable to ask for a favor or to try to persuade someone of my point of view.

It turns out, I’m not alone. Most people don’t like asking others for favors or trying to persuade them. But most of us also hate to say no. Which is great for those of us doing the asking, because it means people will cave in more often, since they just don’t want to turn us down.

But few of us know this about our fellow humans, so we tend to underestimate how willing people are to help us if we ask them to.

Several studies tested this by having participants first estimate how many people would agree before heading out to persuade strangers to do various things. The first example was a simple one: participants had to ask strangers to lend them their mobile phone. Participants estimated on average that they’d have to ask ten people before anyone said yes, but in reality they only had to ask an average of six people to get a yes.

Another study tested whether the size of the task would make a difference to how easily strangers could be persuaded to do it. Participants were tasked with asking strangers to fill out either a one-page or a ten-page survey. Amazingly, the odds for persuading strangers to participate remained the same across both tasks.

These researchers really wanted to learn about how to persuade strangers to do things. They did yet another study, this time making participants ask strangers to write the word «pickle» in a purported library book. In pen.

While many people expressed concerns about doing this task, participants were able to persuade over 64% of strangers they approached.

All these studies helped the researchers put together a theory that most people hate the awkwardness of turning someone down—even a stranger. A final study tested just how much people hate to say no by first having participants ask strangers to fill out a survey. For those participants who said no to this request, participants then asked them to take a letter from the participant and mail it.

Many people said yes to the request to mail a letter, even though it’s arguably a more inconvenient task than simply stopping to fill out a survey. These people, the researchers said, hated the awkwardness of saying no so much that rather than do it a second time, they preferred to take on a more inconvenient task than the one they’d already turned down.

Of course, not everyone is this averse to saying no. And, depending on the circumstances, most of us have situations where the awkwardness of saying no is not as bad as we feel agreeing would be.

But for those times when we’re on the fence, or willing to be persuaded from the «no» camp, let’s take a look at what you can keep in mind to encourage others to do things you suggest.

Persuading people to do things for you

I wouldn’t call these methods manipulation. In fact, I tried a couple of them on some local politicians recently, and was very disappointed in the results. So I hardly need to tell you to wield them wisely. These are very small adjustments, but they work, on average, by employing knowledge about what makes us rethink our own decisions and make different ones.

Use the word «willing» after you’ve met resistance

If someone has already said no, and you don’t want to give them a different task like mailing a letter, you may have more luck persuading them to do the original task with this approach. The word «willing,» it seems, is somewhat of a magic word when it comes to asking people to change their behavior.

One study asked people who’d been in an argument to try mediating the situation. Those who refused were then asked if they’d be willing to try mediating the situation.

As Psychologist Elizabeth Stokoe says, «if you ask someone ‘are you interested in mediation?’ they might say yes or no. But if you ask them if they’re willing to mediate, that requires them saying something about the type of person that they are.»

The difference, it seems, is that asking what someone is willing to do, rather than asking them directly to do something, changes that question about an immediate action to a question about what that person’s boundaries are. This makes them rethink their answer, as it brings their ideas about themselves as a person into the mix, rather than simply letting them make a quick decision about taking an action right now.

Stokoe warns, though, that this approach works best after meeting with resistance. So use this one as a backup when other approaches don’t work.

Use the phrase «you will probably refuse. «

Have you ever noticed how telling a kid to do something often makes them want to do the exact opposite? Or maybe you’ve even been this kid. You’re thinking about how you should clean your room when a parent walks in and gives you a roasting about how messy your room is, and tells you to clean it up. Well now that’s the last thing you’re going to do! There’s just something about being told we have to do something that makes us want to do the opposite.

Perhaps this comes from the fact that humans love to think we have a choice in everything. It doesn’t actually matter whether we do have a choice or not; we just need to feel like we do.

This approach taps into that mindset. When you start a request by saying, «You’ll probably refuse, but. » you tap into that person’s desire to prove you wrong. For instance, imagine someone raising money for charity stopped you on the street and said, «You’ll probably refuse, but would you like to help abandoned dogs with a donation?» Well, who among us wants to let a stranger be right about us not caring about abandoned dogs! Of course we want to prove them wrong by giving the dogs a donation.

One study tested this theory in a very similar situation. Researchers asked people to donate to charity in two different ways. Some people were asked directly, while others were asked like this:

You will probably refuse, but I wonder if you could help us by making a donation?»

While not everyone cared enough to prove the researchers wrong, the approach did work better than a direct ask for a donation. From those asked directly, 25% donated to the charity. From those told they would probably refuse, 39% donated.

It’s not 100%, but it’s certainly a bigger percentage, and it doesn’t take much effort to put this strategy into practice.

Try altercasting

You might have used altercasting before without even realizing it. If you’ve ever suggested a friend, spouse, or colleague is particularly adept in an area before asking for a favor that relies on those exact skills, that’s altercasting. For instance, telling your spouse they’re a great cook before asking them to cook dinner. Or telling your friend that you always appreciate how generous they are, before taking out a loan.

Altercasting refers to casting that other person in a role. There are two ways altercasting can works. The first is called «manded» altercasting, which is what my examples are. This is when we don’t change our behavior at all, but we explicitly suggest a role for the other person.

The other method of altercasting is called «tact,» which is when we don’t explicitly suggest a role, but change our behavior to imply a role for the other person. For instance, if you make a mess and keep dropping things in an attempt to cook dinner until your spouse takes over, you’re implicitly suggesting the role of «good cook» for your spouse by showing how terrible you are in comparison. The reason altercasting works is because we tend to want to live up to the labels we’re given. When someone we care about tells us we’re a good cook, or we’re generous, we feel the need to prove them right, because we want to see those traits in ourselves, too.

But this can prove dangerous when suggesting negative roles for others, such as telling someone they’re slow, unproductive, or lazy. It’s probably best to only suggest positive roles when using altercasting. Try suggesting a role you think the other person would want to see themselves in to avoid using this technique in a way that feels manipulative.

Whether it’s a local politician, your spouse, or a colleague, there are plenty of times when we want to persuade someone else to do what we’re suggesting. These methods certainly won’t guarantee that you can get others to do your bidding, but if you’re attempting to persuade someone, try throwing in one of these strategies to give yourself a better chance of success.