How to read body language

How to Read Body Language More Effectively

Body language is a huge part of how we communicate with other people. However, most of us only have an intuitive knowledge of non-verbal communication at best. Fortunately, if reading body language doesn’t come naturally to you, or if you’d simply like to get better at it, there’s a huge body of work that details what the body is really saying.

Read Body Language Through the Comfort/Discomfort Lens

As Joe Navarro—a former FBI interrogator and expert in body language analysis and research—explains in his book What Every BODY is Saying :

Those who are lying or are guilty and must carry the knowledge of their lies and/or crimes with them find it difficult to achieve comfort, and their tension and distress may be readily observed. Attempting to disguise their guilt or deception places a very distressing cognitive load on them as they struggle to fabricate answers to what would otherwise be simple questions (DePaulo et al., 1985, 323–370). The more comfortable a person is when speaking with us, the easier it will be to detect the critical nonverbals of discomfort associated with deception. Your goal is to establish high comfort during the early part of any interaction or during “rapport building.” This helps you to establish a baseline of behaviors during that period when the person, hopefully, does not feel threatened.

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While he describes this dynamic in the context of lie-detection, it’s the lens through which all body language can be interpreted. If you’re at a party and everyone’s enjoying themselves, a person in a chair, with their arms folded, and head down will stand out. They might seem uncomfortable and you might wonder if something is out of the ordinary. In response to this, you might ask if anything is wrong. That very same set of actions observed in someone in a hospital waiting room would be much less abnormal. Even if the person has nothing to worry about, hospitals can make people uncomfortable or nervous. Asking this person what’s wrong could easily result in the very obvious reaction: “I’m in a hospital.”

Observing how comfortable a person is in a particular context can give you clues as to how they feel. If you’re on a first date and your partner seems comfortable, they’re probably into you! If you’re conducting a job interview and the applicant seems comfortable and confident during the process, but gets fidgety and nervous when you ask if they’ve stolen from previous employers, it might be something to inquire about further. Body language is not an exact science, but gauging comfort levels can give you clues about what’s really going on in the minds of people around you.

The Basic Body Cues to Watch For

Most of our body parts are quietly communicating how we feel and what we want, whether we realize it or not. The following are some cues you can watch for to get an idea of how a person is feeling, but keep in mind the comfort/discomfort paradigm. No one behavior tells the whole story.

Head and Face

The first thing to understand about trying to read facial expressions is that they are not always the most honest. We’ll get to which body part is the most honest later, but we are trained from a very young age that certain facial expressions and actions are appropriate for certain occasions, whether we feel them or not. However, there are still some cues you can glean from facial expressions.

Pursed lips are another way to tell when someone is drifting over to the discomfort side of the spectrum. This is a favorite expression analysts like to point out whenever a politician is giving some form of confession. In cases like Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer’s confession speeches, both can be seen tightening their lips, pursing them to the point they nearly disappear.

These are just a couple of easy to identify facial gestures that can tell you a bit about what a person’s feeling, but there are so many different variations that the face itself has its own coding system to gauge them all. And, as we’ve established, the face isn’t always the most honest part of the body, which is why it’s important to give equal (or more) attention to the rest of the body.

Our arms are heavily employed in self-expression. Many individual gestures can be taught or trained in us over time (such as “don’t point at people”), but there are two more helpful aspects of arm and hand motion to observe: how much space they take up, and how high they reach.

Gravity-defying gestures, in any part of the body, are generally seen as positive. When we’re happy, excited, or interested, we raise our heads or our chin, our arms go up, even our legs and feet start to point skyward or bounce if we’re sitting. The arms are incredibly versatile at highlighting this behavior. As Navarro explains again:

When excited, we don’t restrict our arm movements; in fact our natural tendency is to defy gravity and raise our arms high above our heads. When people are truly energized and happy, their arm motions defy gravity. As previously mentioned, gravity-defying behaviors are associated with positive feelings. When a person feels good or confident, he swings his arms affirmatively, such as while walking. It is the insecure person who subconsciously restrains his arms, seemingly unable to defy the weight of gravity.

Candidly tell a colleague about a drastic and costly mistake she just made at work and her shoulders and arms will sink down and droop. Ever have that “sinking feeling”? It’s a limbic response to a negative event. Negative emotions bring us down physically. Not only are these limbic responses honest, but they happen in real time. We leap and thrust our arms in the air the moment the point is scored, or our shoulders and arms sink when a referee rules against us. These gravity-related behaviors communicate emotions accurately and at the precise moment we are affected. Further, these physical manifestations can be contagious, whether at a football stadium, a rock concert, or in a gathering of great friends.

Individual gestures of the hands may be helpful for communicating conscious thoughts—like a coach speaking in a non-verbal code to a player on the field—but when it comes to gauging the subconscious mood or comfort level of a person, gravity is where it’s at.

Understanding Body Language and Facial Expressions

Kendra Cherry, MS, is an author and educational consultant focused on helping students learn about psychology.

Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Body language refers to the nonverbal signals that we use to communicate. According to experts, these nonverbal signals make up a huge part of daily communication.

From our facial expressions to our body movements, the things we don’t say can still convey volumes of information.

It has been suggested that body language may account for between 60 to 65% of all communication. 

Understanding body language is important, but it is also essential to pay attention to other cues such as context. In many cases, you should look at signals as a group rather than focusing on a single action.

Here’s what to look for when you’re trying to interpret body language.

Click Play to Learn How To Read Body Language

This video has been medically reviewed by David Susman, PhD.

Facial Expressions

Think for a moment about how much a person is able to convey with just a facial expression. A smile can indicate approval or happiness. A frown can signal disapproval or unhappiness.

In some cases, our facial expressions may reveal our true feelings about a particular situation. While you say that you are feeling fine, the look on your face may tell people otherwise.

Just a few examples of emotions that can be expressed via facial expressions include:

The expression on a person’s face can even help determine if we trust or believe what the individual is saying.

One study found that the most trustworthy facial expression involved a slight raise of the eyebrows and a slight smile. This expression, the researchers suggested, conveys both friendliness and confidence. 

Facial expressions are also among the most universal forms of body language. The expressions used to convey fear, anger, sadness, and happiness are similar throughout the world.

Researcher Paul Ekman has found support for the universality of a variety of facial expressions tied to particular emotions including joy, anger, fear, surprise, and sadness. 

Research even suggests that we make judgments about people’s intelligence based upon their faces and expressions.

One study found that individuals who had narrower faces and more prominent noses were more likely to be perceived as intelligent. People with smiling, joyful expression were also judged as being more intelligent than those with angry expressions. 

The Eyes

The eyes are frequently referred to as the «windows to the soul» since they are capable of revealing a great deal about what a person is feeling or thinking.

As you engage in conversation with another person, taking note of eye movements is a natural and important part of the communication process.

Some common things you may notice include whether people are making direct eye contact or averting their gaze, how much they are blinking, or if their pupils are dilated.

When evaluating body language, pay attention to the following eye signals.

Eye Gaze

When a person looks directly into your eyes while having a conversation, it indicates that they are interested and paying attention. However, prolonged eye contact can feel threatening.

On the other hand, breaking eye contact and frequently looking away might indicate that the person is distracted, uncomfortable, or trying to conceal his or her real feelings. 

Blinking

Blinking is natural, but you should also pay attention to whether a person is blinking too much or too little.

People often blink more rapidly when they are feeling distressed or uncomfortable. Infrequent blinking may indicate that a person is intentionally trying to control his or her eye movements. 

For example, a poker player might blink less frequently because he is purposely trying to appear unexcited about the hand he was dealt.

Pupil Size

Pupil size can be a very subtle nonverbal communication signal. While light levels in the environment control pupil dilation, sometimes emotions can also cause small changes in pupil size.

For example, you may have heard the phrase «bedroom eyes» used to describe the look someone gives when they are attracted to another person. Highly dilated eyes, for example, can indicate that a person is interested or even aroused. 

The Mouth

Mouth expressions and movements can also be essential in reading body language. For example, chewing on the bottom lip may indicate that the individual is experiencing feelings of worry, fear, or insecurity.

Covering the mouth may be an effort to be polite if the person is yawning or coughing, but it may also be an attempt to cover up a frown of disapproval.

Smiling is perhaps one of the greatest body language signals, but smiles can also be interpreted in many ways.

A smile may be genuine, or it may be used to express false happiness, sarcasm, or even cynicism. 

When evaluating body language, pay attention to the following mouth and lip signals:

Gestures

Gestures can be some of the most direct and obvious body language signals. Waving, pointing, and using the fingers to indicate numerical amounts are all very common and easy to understand gestures.

Some gestures may be cultural, however, so giving a thumbs-up or a peace sign in another country might have a completely different meaning than it does in the United States.

The following examples are just a few common gestures and their possible meanings:

The Arms and Legs

The arms and legs can also be useful in conveying nonverbal information. Crossing the arms can indicate defensiveness. Crossing legs away from another person may indicate dislike or discomfort with that individual.

Other subtle signals such as expanding the arms widely may be an attempt to seem larger or more commanding while keeping the arms close to the body may be an effort to minimize oneself or withdraw from attention.

When you are evaluating body language, pay attention to some of the following signals that the arms and legs may convey: 

Posture

How we hold our bodies can also serve as an important part of body language.

The term posture refers to how we hold our bodies as well as the overall physical form of an individual.

Posture can convey a wealth of information about how a person is feeling as well as hints about personality characteristics, such as whether a person is confident, open, or submissive.

Sitting up straight, for example, may indicate that a person is focused and paying attention to what’s going on. Sitting with the body hunched forward, on the other hand, can imply that the person is bored or indifferent.

When you are trying to read body language, try to notice some of the signals that a person’s posture can send.

Personal Space

Have you ever heard someone refer to their need for personal space? Have you ever started to feel uncomfortable when someone stands just a little too close to you?

The term proxemics, coined by anthropologist Edward T. Hall, refers to the distance between people as they interact. Just as body movements and facial expressions can communicate a great deal of nonverbal information, so can the physical space between individuals.

Hall described four levels of social distance that occur in different situations.

Intimate Distance: 6 to 18 inches

This level of physical distance often indicates a closer relationship or greater comfort between individuals. It usually occurs during intimate contact such as hugging, whispering, or touching.

Personal Distance: 1.5 to 4 feet

Physical distance at this level usually occurs between people who are family members or close friends. The closer the people can comfortably stand while interacting can be an indicator of the level of intimacy in their relationship.

Social Distance: 4 to 12 feet.

This level of physical distance is often used with individuals who are acquaintances.

With someone you know fairly well, such as a co-worker you see several times a week, you might feel more comfortable interacting at a closer distance.

In cases where you do not know the other person well, such as a postal delivery driver you only see once a month, a distance of 10 to 12 feet may feel more comfortable.

Public Distance: 12 to 25 feet

Physical distance at this level is often used in public speaking situations. Talking in front of a class full of students or giving a presentation at work are good examples of such situations.

It is also important to note that the level of personal distance that individuals need to feel comfortable can vary from culture to culture.

One oft-cited example is the difference between people from Latin cultures and those from North America. People from Latin countries tend to feel more comfortable standing closer to one another as they interact while those from North America need more personal distance.

A Word From Verywell

Understanding body language can go a long way toward helping you better communicate with others and interpreting what others might be trying to convey.

While it may be tempting to pick apart signals one by one, it’s important to look at these nonverbal signals in relation to verbal communication, other nonverbal signals, and the situation.

You can also focus on learning more about how to improve your nonverbal communication to become better at letting people know what you are feeling—without even saying a word.

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Todorov A, Baron SG, Oosterhof NN. Evaluating face trustworthiness: a model based approach. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2008;3(2):119-27. doi:10.1093/scan/nsn009

Ekman P. Darwin’s contributions to our understanding of emotional expressions. Philos Trans R Soc Lond, B, Biol Sci. 2009;364(1535):3449-51. doi:10.1098/rstb.2009.0189

D’agostino TA, Bylund CL. Nonverbal accommodation in health care communication. Health Commun. 2014;29(6):563-73. doi:10.1080/10410236.2013.783773

Jiang J, Borowiak K, Tudge L, Otto C, Von kriegstein K. Neural mechanisms of eye contact when listening to another person talking. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2017;12(2):319-328. doi:10.1093/scan/nsw127

Roter DL, Frankel RM, Hall JA, Sluyter D. The expression of emotion through nonverbal behavior in medical visits. Mechanisms and outcomes. J Gen Intern Med. 2006;21 Suppl 1:S28-34. doi:10.1111/j.1525-1497.2006.00306.x

Vacharkulksemsuk T, Reit E, Khambatta P, Eastwick PW, Finkel EJ, Carney DR. Dominant, open nonverbal displays are attractive at zero-acquaintance. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2016;113(15):4009-14. doi:10.1073/pnas.1508932113

Hall ET. A System for the Notation of Proxemic Behavior. American Anthropologist. October 1963;65(5):1003-1026. doi:10.1525/aa.1963.65.5.02a00020.

Body Language Basics – How to Read Someone

Body language interpretation involves the study of gestures, actions and facial expressions related to human behavior.

In our daily lives, the art of proper body language interpretation is all about the ability to look closely at the individual you are communicating with and picking up various signals, some of the basic ones of which we have already described. A key factor of body language interpretation is to ensure that you are subtle about what you are doing so that the other person does not realize what you are doing this. Failure to do so will result in the person feeling uncomfortable and distracted by your behavior.

Body language entails gestures and movements involving all different parts of the body, from head to toe. We’re going to go over the basic meanings of each area of the body.

When learning to read body language, observation is the key. Focusing on what others say verbally is not always enough because our language capabilities are such that a person can say one thing and easily mean something else. People can have a tendency to use very vague language when expressing them. As you learn to closely observe, not only what is being said but, how it is said, you are developing an essential skill require to successful read body language.

Other non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and tone of voice are also very important in learning to read body language. Observing facial expression is one of the easiest parts of the body to read when it comes to learning to read body language. Though, it is very common that people will attempt to try to mask facial expressions. This very act of trying to conceal how they feel can then give a close observer the idea about how that person feels about the topic that they are talking about.

Features Of Body Language

Communication is dynamic. It’s an on-going process. It moves back and forth from sender to receiver in the form of feedback and interaction. Human beings change and grow as individuals, and so does communication patterns and the interpretation of body language communication. The changes are also noticeable from one place to another.

Communication occurs between people. It also occurs internally. The internal communication always involves the three aspects of human life: physical, psychological and the spiritual. Refer to this section to become better acquainted with conscious, and subconscious communication, and the intellect necessary in body- language communication.

Communication produces negative or positive results. The basis behind various reactions changes from one person to the next or one scenario and another. Outside of context, responses to body-language communication cannot always be predicted. Communication, therefore, can take various conversation tracks depending on the circumstances surrounding it.

In the heat of the moment, you may use violent, unproductive communication only to regret having used those harsh words. One mentor illustrated the harm that gossip can produce in the fragile community of family and friends. He took the offending gossiper to the top of the town’s tallest building. When the repentant young man regretted speaking lies about a colleague and wished to undo the damage, the patient teacher gently pulled out his method of driving home a point. When the young man objected to the proposal, claiming that it would be impossible to retrieve each feather, the teacher wisely drove home his point. “Angry, harmful words like these feathers- can easily leave your mouth, but is impossible to reverse the damage entirely done. Even an apology cannot fully erase the pain from the memory of the one who you spoke to so harshly.” Grieved, the young gossiper vowed always to be more careful of letting angry words fly out of his mouth.

Unwisely spoken words portray a lack of control. A proverb says, “He that has no control over his spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.” In the case of internal communication, speaking harmful, negative words to yourself leads to disillusionment. Negative self-talk can alter your view of yourself. Interpersonal communication it is the outward demonstration of your conversation. Speaking kindly to yourself can help you to learn of to speak kindly to others.

Communication between the conscious and the subconscious aspects of our personalities work in harmony to produce desired results in life. You become the person that you develop through internal conversation. The two, pulling in separate opposite directions, only create conflict, retard growth and slow down life. You can look in the mirror and physically say to yourself that you are awesome, but if your spirit counters that with a negative response, you could find yourself slipping backward in personal growth.

The more you engage the mind in positive thinking, the more that positive can thoughts take center stage in your mind. This permits you more chances for you to create and exhibit positive body language.

Communication has no meaning apart from its surrounding. The simple command “move” can take on significance depending on the situation. In a simple setting, a mother can place a hand on a child’s shoulder to move him aside to be able to reach something on the top shelf. I a different circumstance, the word “move” can become a warning to get a person out of the path of a falling boulder.

All of these aspects can be simply concluded by saying that communication does not take place in a vacuum.

How Body Language Fits In the Ideal Pattern Of Communication

All body movements convey meaning. However, meanings vary from place to place, culture to culture, country to country and continent to continent. There are three distinct notable classifications of body language commonly used in most cases. This section of the article explores the three distinct classifications of body language communication.

Read about scratching, winking and stretching physical classification. Engage your intellect with psychological insights on body language and touch base with social body language communication.

When verbal communication breaks down as it does many times in life, body language offers alternative escape route to create understanding between people. Whether you use the hand, arm, head, or trunk, all body part movements communicate messages. This is observed when a deaf person and a hearing person attempt to communicate.

You read how the three aspects of human life the physical, psychological land spiritual influence body language communication in this article. The subject of this article is on body language communication. Therefore, you can’t have body language without a body.

You’re a physical human being. You’re also psychological and social being. These three aspects of human life influence body language communication.

Negotiations and the Body Language

You negotiate every day. For example, you negotiate with your boss to have a well-deserved raise. Interestingly, body language plays an important role in each aspect of a negotiation.

Body language becomes crucial when it comes to business-related negotiations. By reading the gestures of others and performing the right body movements, you will have great “winning chances” in the negotiation.

The Initial Phase

The negotiation starts as soon as you enter the “negotiation area.” Observe the body language of your counterpart/s. focus on their chest, head, hands, feet, legs and arms. Aside from reading their body signs, this technique will help you become an effective listener.

The Personal Space

During a negotiation, every individual establishes his personal space (also known as “territory”). In businesses, the “higher ups” (i.e. the high-ranking officials of the company) require wide personal space.

For instance, the right to sit in the “dominant chair” (i.e. the chair in the table’s head) symbolizes power. You can counter the authority of the “dominant person” by setting your allies around the table. Surround the dominant party or go for a seating arrangement that lets you gain more control over the discussion.

First Impressions

When it comes to negotiations, the most important move is the first one. It’s like you’re playing chess. The person who has the first move has the advantage because he can make the first attack. The moves and the overall strategy to use in the game depend on the first move made on the board.

Thus, you need to make a first move that is firm, logical and deeply analyzed. Start with your body language. Project positivity and enthusiasm. For instance, if you are in an important meeting, look other people in the eyes. As you’ve probably heard before, eyes serve as windows to a person’s soul. If you can’t establish and keep eye contact with your counterparts, they will think that you are lying or hiding something.

Make sure that your handshake is solid. Hold the other person’s hand firmly. Some people think that squeezing the hand of the other person is great. However, nothing can be further from the truth.

Establish eye contact and press the other person’s hand once. Pressing his hand twice means that you are excited about the negotiation. Pressing the person’s hand three or more times, however, can make him feel uncomfortable.

Use your Knowledge Regarding Body Language

While negotiating, observe the body movements of the people involved. The first part of this article taught you how to read people’s signs. Use that knowledge to know whether the people you’re talking to believe you, doubt you, or accept what you said. You can even use body language to detect if someone is lying.

Recognize and analyze the signals mentioned above. Additionally, you need to consider all of the actions you make. If you exhibit signs of self-doubt, fear or nervousness, your counterparts (particularly those who know body language) may exploit the situation.

How To Tell If Someone Is Lying

Everybody lies. Friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, spouses, and even the guy at the supermarket who heartily insists that the limp lettuce on display “just came in this morning.” In times like these when deceit is so rampant among us, it pays to be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Check out the hints below on how to hone your lie detection skills so that next time you suspect it, you’ll be able to tell easily if someone is lying to you.

Lie Detection by Body Language

Stiffness-Liars are often very tense and will make as few limb movements as possible while lying or discussing a lie.

Twitching fingers-Though their limbs are tense, liars often cannot resist small nervous movements of their fingers. They will also often play idly with small objects nearby such as pens, keys, and their accessories.

Face Touching. Excessive, nervous, or idle contact with the face, ears, and nose is another give away among liars. Many people report persistent nose itching when deceiving someone.

Gestures that are Inappropriate – They may be lying during their speech if they make untimely gestures or if someone’s body motions do not fit with what is being said.

Fake Emotions-When an emotion is sincere, the hundreds of tiny muscles in a person’s face work together to convey that emotion. Fake emotions, like a fake smile, tend to extend only to the mouth region of the face, never reaching the eyes, cheeks, and other areas of the face. So if someone’s smile or frown is nothing more than a mere pulling off the lips up or down respectively, this can accurately detect if that someone is lying to you.

Face Twitches. For the same reason of facial muscles mentioned above, most people cannot hide the brief flicker of their true emotions that flits across their face when they feel something. Though these flickers usually last as little as a quarter of a second, scrutiny of their face can reveal if someone is lying to you.

Lie Detection by Speech

Changes in Tenor-If someone’s voice is notably higher or lower pitched than it usually is, or if a voice that doesn’t usually crack does, this can indicate nervousness and deception.

Vague Statements-Liars often rely on “loopholes” in questions or statements to make their response not “technically” untrue. This usually manifests itself as very vague statements or as responses using the same phrasing as the question.

Distancing language- Among Liars, a popular means of self-detachment from their deception is distancing language, that is using words and phrases that convey a meaning while avoiding mentioning a person, specifically their person. So in answering the question “Did you remember to feed my dog this morning?” someone who is lying to you might respond, “The dog was fed.”

Contraction Omission-Liars tend to shy away from using contractions to sound firm and convincing. When “accused,” a liar is more likely to say stoically “I did not do that.” while an honest person is more likely to say heatedly “I didn’t do that!”

Discomfort with Silence-If someone is lying to you, they are likely to be very uncomfortable and nervous during pauses or silences in conversations. It seems that these periodic lapses are unnerving because they offer time for dissembling on the other person’s part.

So now you are armed with eleven different ways to tell if someone is lying to you. I hope that these truly help you to spot more of the lies you encounter daily. You will probably be surprised, as I was when I first learned these methods, at how many white fibs, half-truths, and plain, blunt lies you are told every day.

How To Tell If Someone Is Attracted To You

I know how you feel. I’ve been in that situation as well. When you like a guy but not sure if he really likes you. You don’t have to worry because there is a way to know what he thinks about you. And that way is body language.

I just want to make something clear though before we continue. Yes, body language does help a lot in determining if a guy likes you or not but never believe that it can give you the answer with 100 percent accuracy. Having said that, let’s move on to the kind of body language men do when he’s into you:

Pay attention to their body language. Do they stay turned towards you, even if you’re sitting next to each other? Watch their torso. When someone keeps their belly button facing you, it means they like you. Do they take opportunities to touch you, like on your shoulder, arms, or hands? What about their facial expressions? Remember, a natural smile will crinkle the corners of their eyes. Don’t worry too much about crossed arms or restlessness. On dates, people often cross their arms when they’re thoughtful and focusing, and excitement can cause fidgeting movements.

Once you’ve determined whether or not your date likes you and if you have chemistry, it’s time to think about your values and if this is a person you want to continue seeing. What can you learn about their personality? Are they shy or extroverted? How do they react in stressful situations? Are they a naturally calm person, or nervous? Think about your conversations with them. What kinds of things do they talk about and in how much detail? Do they gossip or talk only about themselves a lot? Answering these questions about your potential partner will help you decide if they align with what’s important to you and if you respect them.

In It For The Long-Haul

Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you can still put your analytical skills to use to get a comprehensive picture of the person you’re with. When you’ve been with someone a while, it’s easy to stop paying attention to certain behaviors or never think about how a personality trait affects you. If you aren’t sure where to start analyzing, ask yourself these questions and observe their body language, facial expressions, and speech to answer them.

Think about how your partner treats your family and friends, as well as their family and friends. Are they respectful? Or are they constantly getting into fights? It’s also significant to pay attention to how your partner treats strangers. There is a really good dating rule that if a person treats the wait staff at a restaurant poorly, then they’re not a good person. It shows that your partner sees certain people as inferior and therefore not worthy of good treatment, which is a major red flag.

Stressful times reveal a person’s true colors. Is your partner fun and happy until things don’t go their way? Do they become angry and pouty? Defensive? People who don’t handle the word “no” very well or who crumble under pressure are probably spoiled and used to having everything go the way they want. Being in a relationship with someone like that can be very hard, but not impossible. They just have to be willing to learn how to handle stress and that the world does not exist to please them.

In that same vein, when they get upset, how do they show it? Be wary of the partner who becomes angry very quickly. People with short fuses have control problems and don’t have the emotional maturity to express themselves in healthy ways. If they become violent, you might be in an abusive relationship. Even if they are not violent towards you, but break things around the house, you need to consider that a red flag.

If your partner is always doing all the talking and is a bad listener, it means they do not respect your ideas or make you a priority, or at the very least, it means they’re inconsiderate. On the other hand, if your partner listens a lot, but you have trouble engaging in conversation with them, it might mean that they like to think instead of talk right away, or they feel intimidated by you. Ask your partner what’s going on. Tell them if you feel railroaded all the time and like they don’t care about what you have to say. Communication is essential to a healthy relationship.

When you’re in a group, observe your partner from a distance. Are they the jealous type who is always lurking around when you’re talking to people? Do they stand in a corner by themselves? Or are they able to entertain themselves? Whether or not your partner can handle not being the focus of your attention says a lot about their independence and possessive traits. In a healthy relationship, your partner will have no trouble with you talking to others because they trust you, and they’ll be able to find something to occupy themselves with. Even introverted people who aren’t naturally outgoing will be okay with you not holding their hand the whole evening.

Basic Body Language Confident Poses And Myths

Body language is one of the strongest indicators of how a person feels. It’s more often than not subconscious, though people can train their bodies to convey confidence and other positive traits. The definition of body language in the Oxford Dictionary is, “the conscious and unconscious movements and postures by which attitudes and feelings are communicated.” For example, slouched shoulders indicate sadness, exhaustion, or lack of confidence, while a tilted head can mean playfulness, flirting, or curiosity.

The Body-Language Basics

There are certain movements that almost always mean the same thing. Take note when you see these movements in people around you, and you’ll be off to a great start as a body-language expert. Here are the three big ones:

Another thing to remember before we get into specific areas of the body and what they can tell us is that every individual’s “language” is a little different. As an example, introverted people tend to take up less space physically than extroverted ones, but it does not necessarily mean they lack confidence. While being fidgety and restless might signal to most that the person is anxious or uncomfortable, some people are just naturally antsy. You can make snap judgments about people based on their body language that turns out to be wrong, so keep analyzing and observing them so you can learn what their specific language is.

What The Torso Tells You

Because our torso holds all of our vital organs, any movement in that area can reveal a lot about how a person feels in their environment. Humans naturally want to protect our heart, lungs, etc., so if we feel like we are in danger, we will become more guarded physically.

Height is also important. An erect torso with raised shoulders, thrown back, indicate confidence, while a slouchy torso with lowered shoulders gives off an insecure, tired aura. In a dating situation, the torso is very important. You can know that the other person is interested in you and feels safe is they stay turned towards you. If they lean in, they are comfortable. They are bringing their vital organs closer to you.

What the arms (and hands) are about

A person’s arms and hands communicate a lot. Whether or not someone “talks with their hands” can provide a peek into their personalities; people who gesture a lot are perceived as energetic and warm. High gestures for some reason accentuate that perception, while lower gestures are more common when a person is upset. Crossed arms reveal fear or anger. Bear in mind that cautious people may cross their arms automatically in unfamiliar situations, appearing grumpy and unfriendly. Pay attention to their other movements to learn more.

What about people who are fidgety? Arms and hands can reveal when a person is uncomfortable. People whose hands shake and who frequently touch their face and head are often nervous or restless. Tapping their fingers can also mean that the person is bored.

Learning From Legs And Feet

When it comes to body language, most people neglect the legs and feet. Many body-language experts believe that legs are the most honest body part we have. Pay attention to the direction of the feet and legs. They tend to lean in the direction a person wants to go. If they are pointed towards you or someone else, the person is comfortable. Pointing away means they want to leave or feel unsure enough to keep “running away” as an option.

Jittery legs and feet also signal that a person is ready to run if necessary and does not feel secure about where they are. It could be because of fear or boredom, but it’s a very noticeable move. People who tap their feet or bounce their legs when they’re sitting are often seen as rude and rushed. It’s as if their feet are itching to move and get out of there. As an AP, pay close attention to people who fidget their legs and feet a lot – it could let you know a lot about their attention spans and ability to focus.

Just like crossed arms means a person is guarding themselves, crossed legs have the same effect. Women often cross their legs or at least keep their knees together when they’re wearing skirts or dresses, and it doesn’t necessarily mean they feel uncomfortable in their environment. Men, on the other hand, often spread their legs too wide; doing what is now called “man spreading.” It gives them a relaxed, often arrogant look that takes up a lot of space.

How a person walks reveals some interesting facts about them. A confident walk free from shuffling feet is a sign of confidence and strength. A person’s gait can also immediately reveal any health problems they have, like if they have a limp or need to walk slowly because of balance issues or age. Knowing this won’t necessarily help you understand their personalities better, but it’s just another piece of information you can store away in your mind.

Being an AP in a Professional Setting

If you are in the workplace, you spend a lot of time outside your home with colleagues. Depending on your job and lifestyle, your coworkers and boss might essentially be like a second family regarding how much time and energy you use up on them. Being able to analyze them is important if you want to maintain good relationships, work through difficult projects, and succeed in your career. This section will go through how to analyze your colleagues, bosses, and audiences for when you have to give presentations and speeches.

Considering your coworkers

Being in good standing with your co-workers is extremely important when it comes to job satisfaction. If your coworkers dislike you, they’ll be much harder to work with and can make your work life miserable. How can you tell whether or not you fit in well at a job? Here are negative and positive behaviors to be on the lookout for:

If your coworkers like you and want you to like them, they will smile at you. Whether it’s when you enter a room and they’re greeting you, or you’re talking to them, watch for that genuine, eye-crinkling smile. Obviously, everyone has their bad days, but as an AP, you should be able to consider all the days and see whether or not a natural smile is a stable or a rarity.

When you walk into work, do people greet you with a “good morning?” How about a “See you tomorrow” when you leave? These small acknowledgments show that your coworkers want to make you feel welcome and seen. If they ignore you, they don’t care enough to even say hello or goodbye, or they’ve just genuinely not noticed you, which is also not a good sign.

Gossip, cliques, and other immaturities are common even in professional settings. If a coworker or coworkers refuse to participate in that sort of behavior when it comes to you, it means they respect you. They don’t want to contribute to a hostile environment, and they want to stick up for you when you’re not around to defend yourself. Obviously, gossip about you won’t happen when you’re there, so how do you know if a coworker isn’t spreading rumors? You’ll know. If they are badmouthing you, it will come back around to you.

Whether they are answering your questions with really short replies or always choosing to email you instead of just walking over, it’s a pretty sure sign a co-worker doesn’t like you. If they are normally chatty with others, but always quiet and moody around you, that’s another signal. They don’t want to interact with you any more than is necessary.

If your coworkers never engage with you on a personal level by including you in office humor, inviting you to social events like happy hour, or even asking you about your life outside work, you do not have a good relationship with them. They either are actively avoiding you or don’t care enough to remember you exist outside essential work interactions. Don’t chalk it up as just “professionalism” – you can have professional and personal relationships with people at work.

When a person doesn’t like or respect someone else, it’s hard to make eye contact with them. That’s probably because they’re afraid their eyes will reveal the truth about how they feel. If you have a coworker who never looks you in the eye when they’re talking to you, they probably don’t like or trust you for some reason.

How to speak to an audience

Giving speeches to your coworkers and others is a big part of a lot of jobs. There are three big factors to consider: age of your audience, their education, and culture. Understanding your audience allows you to create your speech just for them and their backgrounds. They’ll be much more receptive to your ideas when you find common ground.

You’ll usually have a general idea of how old your audience is. Depending on your company, it might be a mix of young and older, mostly older, or younger. As an example, a hip start-up will probably have a lot younger people than a big corporation. Knowing the age of your audience can help you choose stories from the past that they will have a context for. You won’t want to use pre-Internet stories or a story about a broken fax machine for an audience that is in their 20’s 0r 30’s.

Elements Of Effective Communication

A pat on the back, a wink, or a hug, are all signs of body language communication

A handshake can communicate much more than a simple greeting. Two men can establish dominance by the pressure of their handshakes. It can also be a way of acknowledging the other person’s presence and well-being. You engage the other person in conversation with a warm and encouraging handshake.

Through handshake, you seek to know the other person’s health, and wealth, as well as wish the person good fortune.

It is hard, but not impossible to eliminate simple social habits such as shaking hands if the custom has no value in another culture. You may not realize the fact that shaking hands is not a universally standard practice all over the world. You may not be able to rid yourself of the excitement of shaking hands with everyone if it a set habit for you. Your enjoyment of employing this type of greeting may show that you are so thirsty for social contact that it is like you are dehydrated. You may believe that you could drink a whole ocean of social interaction.

But, while every habit of the local citizens in the country where you are the visitor may fascinates you, you may be turning a blind eye to your body language communication. It is possible that your routine habit of shaking hands could risk your getting to understand the nuances of another culture truly. Many hosts in a local region are tolerant. But you may not be aware that your body language habits are misinterpreted simply because you find nothing wrong with shaking hands.

How would you know if your simple social behavior is offensive unless someone tells you? If no one in that new culture says whether something is wrong or frowns, you assume that your practice it’s in order. Not knowing that you are offensive is the challenge. However, the reality of the situation has a way of surfacing. The host citizen may be kind and warm. But he could be expressing in a handshake at that first meeting what he feels if the hold is brief. You may come from a cultural background where shaking hands is a long, drawn out, tight grip. It would not be unusual for you to think the hosts are not welcoming by the brief manner that they are shaking hands.

You need to be observant of the situation. Research before your travels to a new region of the globe. Ask pointed questions to acknowledge the practices and body language communication in the new culture. Pay attention to the details of expressions, eye contact, and body posture to learn what the culture has to teach. If you do not practice wisdom before you step into a new culture, it could be too late to undo the damage you caused in a new human relationship.

Your time to learn new ways could also be limited by your travel itinerary. Before you know it, you reenter the world you left behind where handshakes, along with seven signal systems, form the bulk of communication process.

Conclusion

This article covers all the ways you can analyze someone body language. The first person you start with is yourself because if you aren’t self-aware, it will be very hard to be aware of others. Pay attention to your body in different situations and see how it reacts to the environment. Listen to your voice and trace your emotions to their roots. This can be a lifelong process, but the benefits of self-analysis are even greater than those that come from analyzing others.

Emotions and personality traits are not strictly inward creatures; they manifest physically in sometimes surprising ways. Using your observational skills, you can identify a person’s comfort level, feelings, and even personality by how they move their legs, whether or not they face you, what their eyebrows do, and how fast they talk. Good APs can read tiny facial expressions, known as micro-expressions, and very subtle body movements to gather information. The more you practice, the better you will get at analyzing people.

Remember that everyone is a little bit different, so one facial expression or movement might mean something in one person, and not mean that in another. Bear in mind that people are all unique, so you can’t adopt a “one size fits all” approach.

Thank you again for reading this article!

I hope this article was able to help you become skilled in using body language.

The next step is to apply the lessons you’ve learned in this article. With regular practice, you can use this form of communication to achieve your personal and career goals. Remember, your actions form the person that you are, in the truest sense.

How to read body language and gain deeper emotional awareness

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Although we can communicate with our words and tone of voice, there’s another language we all speak.

And that’s body language.

The way we present ourselves to others via nonverbal communication cues can speak louder than words. A person’s gestures, facial expressions, and amount of eye contact all tell a story.

Learning how to interpret and understand body language helps you better understand your peers. Being aware of your own body language is also important so that you can present yourself in the way you’d like.

Understanding body language psychology isn’t always simple. But we’re going to help demystify the secrets behind body language signs.

Here’s how to read body language and the meaning behind different types of nonverbal communication.

What is body language?

If you’ve gauged a friend or stranger’s mood just by looking at their face or gestures they made, you successfully read their body language.

The body language definition refers to nonverbal cues we consciously and unconsciously use to communicate. It includes all non-verbal communication.

The words we use when speaking make up our verbal communication.

The non-verbal cues that make up a person’s body language often communicate more than the words they use. These cues can include:

We’ll look at cues in more detail as we delve deeper into how to read body language below.

One of the most important facts about body language signs is that we often use nonverbal signals instinctively or unconsciously.

For this reason, body language can often tell others more about what we think or feel than the words we use.

Depending on the body language you use, you can encourage the person you’re communicating with to trust you and be relaxed in your presence. Or you can confuse or offend them.

The types of nonverbal communication you use can even undermine or contradict what you say.

Why is understanding body language important?

So, why is body language important, and what are the benefits of learning how to understand it?

The answers to these questions become clearer when we look at the 7-38-55 rule. This rule is based on the findings of psychology professor Albert Mehrabian. The University of California professor developed the rule in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s.

According to Mehrabian, the spoken word communicates 7% of meaning. Your tone of voice communicates 38% of meaning, and your body language communicates 55% of meaning.

Given how much we communicate via body language cues, learning how to understand them is essential if you’re serious about being a good communicator. When you know how to read body language, you can gain deeper insight into what others are really saying.

You can also consciously improve your nonverbal communication.

Let’s explore the benefits of understanding body language:

1. Develop your emotional awareness

Being able to read body language signs allows you to better interpret the emotions and moods of other people. This enables you to understand what they really think or feel about something.

You can then respond to them in the appropriate way.

2. Bond better with your peers

Not everyone is comfortable sharing their true feelings or thoughts. They might be going through family difficulties at home. Or they might feel that no one would listen to them anyway.

By interpreting people’s body language, you can better understand their views. Or you can be friendly and supportive when they need support but don’t feel that they can ask for it.

3. Build trust easier

When you know how to read body language, you know how to use it to build trust.

You can consciously use nonverbal cues that indicate you’re being open and honest. You can also avoid the cues that imply you’re distracted, dishonest, or hiding something.

4. Get your point across in the right way

Another benefit of understanding body language is that you can use it to better get your point across. You can consciously incorporate gestures and other nonverbal cues that emphasize your point rather than contradict it.

5. Make a good impression and influence people

Consciously using different types of nonverbal communication can help you appear confident, even if you don’t feel it. You can also emphasize your message and inspire trust, as mentioned. Altogether, this helps you make a good first impression and builds your influence on others.

How to read body language according to every body part

Learning how to read body language signals isn’t limited to one or two parts of the body.

Familiarize yourself with these parts of the body that offer important insights into a person and their message.

1. Eyes

The eyes are known as the windows of the soul. They play an important role in face-to-face communication. Take note of body language signs such as:

2. Facial expressions

Often unconscious, our facial expressions can reveal what we really think about something.

There is no global standard for facial expressions linked to specific emotions. The meaning behind facial expressions depends on context. However, expressions can indicate a range of emotions.

3. Arms

A person’s arms can also be used for non-verbal communication. Body language examples of this include:

4. Feet and legs

Our feet and legs aren’t the first body parts that come to mind when we think about types of nonverbal communication.

However, they also play a role in body language psychology:

5. Hands and fingers

From excitable hand-flapping to obscene gestures, we can use our hands to express a lot of emotions. Being aware of the hands and fingers is an important part of learning how to read body language.

Examples of using the hands and fingers for nonverbal communication include:

6. Torso

The torso also offers a few important body language examples:

7. Mouth

The mouth makes some of the most important body language signs. Examples include:

5 ways to read positive body language

Knowing how to read positive body language can help you in business and social contexts. Here are a few things to look out for:

1. Having good posture

If someone is sitting up straight, it’s a sign they’re paying attention to what you’re saying. An open posture also indicates friendliness.

2. Maintaining eye contact

There’s a difference between maintaining eye contact and staring or glaring.

If someone makes a healthy amount of direct eye contact with you, it means they’re engaged in the conversation and paying attention. It’s normal for them to blink and look away occasionally.

If someone stares or glares at you, it’s usually not a positive sign.

3. Leaning in to listen

Various body language signs indicate that someone is listening to what you’re saying. If their head and torso are turned in your direction and they’re leaning toward you, it means they’re listening.

Other positive signs include nodding their head, sitting with arms and legs uncrossed, and aiming an ear in your direction.

4. Keeping the body still

If a person’s body is still, it can mean they’re relaxed. It can also indicate that they’re focused and paying attention to what you’re saying.

If the person’s emotion or attitude isn’t clear from how still their body is, look at the other types of nonverbal behavior on display.

5. A firm handshake

If someone gives you a firm handshake, it’s a sign that they respect you.

If they were the one to reach out to shake hands, they probably have healthy self-confidence. A firm handshake should not be painful, as that can be intimidating.

5 ways to read negative body language

Your knowledge of body language psychology should also include negative signs.

When you can recognize the following signs in your audience, you can change tactics or express your message in another way.

If you become aware that you’re using negative nonverbal cues, you can consciously change them to positive cues. This is a way of supporting or encouraging the speaker by letting them know you’re interested — or by disguising the fact that you’re not interested.

In situations where discretion is best, you can use negative types of nonverbal communication to express distrust, disinterest, or disapproval.

Negative body language examples include:

1. Bad posture or slouching

If the person you’re communicating with is slouched or tense, it’s a sign that they’re bored. They might also feel disinterested, threatened, or worried.

You can use verbal and nonverbal cues to reassure them or to regain their interest.

2. Avoiding eye contact

If someone avoids making eye contact with you, it could be a negative sign for one or more reasons.

Having a lot of eye movement and not making eye contact may indicate that they’re disinterested or distracted. They might be trying to hide something, or they feel uncomfortable or guilty.

3. Crossed arms

Interpreting crossed arms is one of the basics of learning how to read body language, as it’s one of the classic negative signs.

Crossed arms are likely to show that the person feels defensive or closed-off to you and your message. It can also indicate aggression or anger.

4. Fidgeting and unable to keep still

If someone is fidgeting or unable to keep still, it’s a sign that they are distracted, bored, or uninterested in what you are saying. Stress can also cause fidgeting.

Common types of fidgeting include foot-tapping, crossing and uncrossing of legs, or consistently playing with an object such as a pen.

5. Negative facial expressions

A range of facial expressions can indicate negative attitudes or emotions. Recognizing them can help you understand your audience’s actual responses to your message.

Frowning may indicate disagreement, anger, or confusion.

Pursed lips usually indicate annoyance, displeasure, and distaste.

Flared nostrils may show aggression or disapproval. Or they can indicate that the person is making a judgment about something.

Upskill yourself by learning how to read body language

Learning how to read body language, as well as how to use it consciously, is an important soft skill that has many benefits in the workplace and outside of it. Upskilling yourself with powerful communication skills will help you move your career forward.

Reading body language can help you better respond to your audience, whether they’re family members, friends, or coworkers. You can tailor your communication to them when you can identify what engages and interests them.

You can use different types of nonverbal communication to:

Improve your body language understanding with coaching from BetterUp. Building effective communication skills takes time, but the effects are worth the effort both professionally and personally.

Body Language

Beyond Words – How to Read Unspoken Signals

What Is Body Language?

Body language is the unspoken part of communication that we use to reveal our true feelings and to give our message more impact.

Communication is made up of so much more than words. Nonverbal cues such as tone of voice, gestures and posture all play their part.

A simple example of body language is a relaxed facial expression that breaks out into a genuine smile – with mouth upturned and eyes wrinkled. Equally, it can be a tilt of the head that shows you’re thinking, an upright stance to convey interest, or hand and arm movements to demonstrate directions. It can also be taking care to avoid a defensive, arms-crossed posture, or restlessly tapping your feet.

When you can «read» signs like these, you can understand the complete message in what someone is telling you. You’ll be more aware of people’s reactions to what you say and do, too. And you’ll be able to adjust your body language to appear more positive, engaging and approachable.

In this article and video, we explore body language some more, and look at how you can interpret it to understand and communicate with people more effectively.

We also have an infographic showing how to put this information about body language into practice.

The Science of Body Language

You’ve probably heard the statistic that only seven percent of a message is conveyed through words, and that the other 93 percent comes from nonverbal communication. This is often quoted out of context and is therefore misleading.

Click here to view a transcript of our Body Language video.

How to Read Body Language

Being aware of body language in others means that you can pick up on unspoken emotions and reactions. It’s a valuable form of feedback, but it can easily be missed if you’re not aware of what to look out for.

So let’s explore the most important nonverbal clues – some with negative interpretations, and others that are positive signs.

Negative Body Language Examples

If someone’s exhibiting one or more of the following, negative behaviors, they’ll likely be disengaged, disinterested or unhappy (see figure 1):

Figure 1.

Other types of body language can indicate that someone’s bored by what you’re saying. This might be in a presentation, a team meeting, or even a one-on-one chat.

Here are some of the most common signs of boredom (illustrated in figures 2–5, below):

Figure 2.

Figure 3.

Figure 4.

Figure 5.

You can re-engage people by asking them a direct question, or by inviting them to contribute an idea.

Additional signs of negative body language include:

Positive Body Language Examples

People also use their body language to convey positive feelings, such as trust, interest and happiness. Spotting these signs can reassure you that others are engaged with what you’re saying and at ease with the situation.

What’s more, by adopting these behaviors yourself, you can support your points, convey ideas more clearly, and avoid sending mixed messages.

Here are three specific ways to use positive body language to your advantage:

1. Body Language for a Good First Impression

Your nonverbal signs play a big part in people’s first impression of you. Here are ways to appear trustworthy, engaged, confident, and calm:

Figure 6.

Figure 7.

Figure 8.

Figure 9.

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It’s easy to miss some of the subtleties of body language. So, check out our Body Language Video for more advice on how to interpret and convey signals effectively.

2. Body Language for Effective Public Speaking

Figure 10.

Figure 11.

Figure 12.

Figure 13.

If you notice your audience’s concentration dip, lean slightly forward while you speak. This suggests that you’re taking them into your confidence and will help to regain their attention.

3. Body Language for Interviews and Negotiations

Body language can also help you to stay calm in situations where emotions run high, such as a negotiation, performance review or interview. Follow these suggestions to defuse tension and show openness:

Figure 14.

Virtual Body Language

You can apply much of the body language guidance above to video calls, too. You’ll just have a little less space – and body – to work with! Here are some ways to show your enthusiasm, and to help make others feel comfortable and receptive to your ideas:

How Do You Use Your Body Language?

The tips given in this article are a good general guide for interpreting body language, but they won’t apply to everyone.

For example, people may have a different cultural background from you, and positive gestures in one country can be negative in others.

So, reflect on how you use your body language, and avoid making assumptions. If you’re getting mixed signs from someone, ask them what they’re thinking. After all, interpreting body language should be a complement to talking and listening attentively, not a replacement for it.

Key Points

Body language is a range of nonverbal signals that you can use to communicate your feelings and intentions. These include your posture, facial expressions, and hand gestures.

Your ability to understand and interpret other people’s body language can help you to pick up on unspoken issues or feelings.

You can also use body language in a positive way to add strength to your own verbal messages – both in person and on screen. This is particularly important when you’re meeting people for the first time, speaking in public, or taking part in interviews or negotiations.

Infographic

Click on the thumbnail below to get our Body Language animated infographic:

Photographs in this article © Mind Tools/Toby Phillips.

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