“Theyare a writer and wrote that bookthemself. Those ideas aretheirs. I like boththemandtheirideas.”
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU GO BY «THEY» PRONOUNS?
It means that if you refer to me using a pronoun instead of my name that you can use «they.» For example, if Dana goes by «they» pronouns, you could say «Dana went to the library» or «They went to the library.»
Often, people make assumptions about the gender of another person based on a person’s appearance or name. Then, they apply those assumptions to the pronouns and forms of address used to refer to a person.
If someone shares their pronouns with you, it’s meant to disrupt the culture of making assumptions, and to provide you with the information you need in order to refer to them appropriately.
Just as we generally have names we go by, we also tend to have pronouns that we want to be referred to by. The name or pronouns someone goes by do not necessarily indicate anything about the person’s gender or other identities. Names and pronouns tend to be publicly shared, because they are part of the language commonly used to refer to people. However, identities tend to be private (i.e. many people don’t proactively share their gender just as many people don’t proactively share their race, class, or sexuality with mere acquaintances)
Although the pronoun «they» tends to be thought of as gender neutral (and many people find pronouns to be an important affirmation of identity), a person who goes by «they» could actually be a man, a woman, both, neither, or something else entirely. Again, because people’s genders tend to be private, the sharing of pronouns should not be taken as an invitation to ask for potentially private information about someone’s gender.
A person who goes by “they” pronouns is generally referred to using “they” and associated pronouns (only in the third person), as in this example:
“Theyare a writer and wrote that bookthemself. Those ideas aretheirs. I like boththemandtheirideas.”
Please note that although “they” pronouns here are singular and refer to an individual, the verbs are conjugated the same as with the plural “they” (e.g. “they are”). Also note that in this singular pronoun set many use “themself” rather than “themselves,” although both are typically acceptable.
The use of the singular «they» to refer to an individual has a long history in English literature, and has also recently been more explicitly included in modern dictionaries and styles guides both as appropriate when referring to an individual whose gender is unknown, but also for referring to an individual who wishes to be known by «they» pronouns.
Please note that some people go by multiple sets of pronouns or by certain sets of pronouns among only certain audiences (just as some people have different legal names from the primary names they go by, or special names they use in certain spaces, such as pen names or performer/artist names). If in doubt, ask.
You can also share your own pronouns by sharing a link to the pronoun you go by. Here are some of the more common ones:
This website also provides much more explanation, examples, and information about pronouns and gender inclusive language. See the appropriate section for more:
They/Them
Description
The they/them flag by DeviantArt user jfifles
Alternative they/them flag by DeviantArt user Geekycorn
Alternative they/them flag by DeviantArt user BLACKDOGZZ
The idea that singular they is grammatically incorrect continues in some areas to the modern day, although it is almost never followed in speech; most individuals frequently use singular they when referring to an unknown person («someone left their coat here»).
Many individuals use singular they as their personal pronoun to avoid the gendered connotations of he and she, hence its frequently used among non-binary people.
Case
Pronoun
Example
Nominative
They
They went to the store
Accusative
Them
I met them today
Pronominal Possessive
Their
They walked their dog today
Predicative Possessive
Theirs
If I need a phone my friend will let me borrow theirs
Reflexive
Themself or Themselves
They have to drive themself to school
OR They have to drive themselves to school
Origin
The Oxford English Dictionary traces singular they back to as early as 1375, and throughout the Middle Ages and Renaissance it was used as a singular gender neutral pronoun, making it one of the oldest third person pronouns in the English language still in use today. It predates the transition of plural you into singular you in Early Middle English through the 15th to 17th centuries (1470-1600s). [1]
However, in the 18th century prescriptive grammarians declared that they should only be used when referring to multiple people, and suggested using a «gender-neutral He» (similar to French) as an alternative. Reasons given at the time were that, firstly, Latin did not have a singular neutral pronoun, and as Latin was considered a superior language, it was thought that English should be more like Latin. Secondly, when plural pronouns are used, certain verbs change form, such as «he was» vs «they were». These verbs always change when they is used, even when in the singular, which was seen as an unacceptable inconsistency according to prescriptivists. These prescriptivists also attempted to erase singular subjective you and re-introduce 2nd person subjective thou for the same reason, though evidently their attempts at that were less successful. [1]
So your friend came out as non-binary: here’s how to use pronouns they/them
Janelle Monáe just came out as non-binary, joining a growing number of people who use ‘they/them’ as pronouns. You might be wondering how to address them
Janelle Monáe. Photograph: Chris Delmas/AFP/Getty Images
Janelle Monáe. Photograph: Chris Delmas/AFP/Getty Images
On Friday, Janelle Monáe came out as non-binary, retweeting a post which read: “There is absolutely nothing better than living outside the gender binary.”
Monáe’s tweet came after the recent announcement of Sam Smith, who recently said they felt “just as much a woman as I am man”. Both celebrities joined the increasing number of young people who identify neither as male or female.
Non-binary people tend to prefer using they/them pronouns (although not exclusively – some use she and he interchangeably). If gender neutral pronouns intimidate you, you’re not the only one. As someone who is new to using them (a number of my friends have recently started to identify as non-binary), I confess it can be intimidating when you want to respect someone’s wishes without making any blunders.
Putting someone’s dignity before my shyness about how to use a pronoun is, of course, the bare minimum. But I admit to having made mistakes – even avoiding using pronouns in the past, for fear of getting it wrong.
It really isn’t that hard, however, to get it right.
Who uses they/them pronouns, and why?
More and more people are using gender-neutral pronouns. In 2015, of 4,000 students at Harvard who had submitted preferred pronouns, around 1% chose pronouns other than “he” or “she”. Last year, Merriam-Webster made the singular gender-neutral use of “they” its word of the year, based on the fact that it had seen a 313% increase in searches for its definition that year.
Reasons for choosing gender neutral pronouns are complex and personal. Some people do it because they don’t feel they fit into a gender. For others, it’s a form of protest: they contest rigid gender expectations and would rather live without them. Being gender non-conforming, right down to their pronouns, is how they choose to identify.
So please, if you learn someone uses they/them pronouns, don’t respond: “We get it OK – she’s gay!” – as my friend’s parents recently did.
Why they/them?
It is normal in the English language to use they/them pronouns when we don’t know the gender of the person to which we’re referring, or if we want our sentence to be applicable to all genders.
But what about the plural?
While it is no longer grammatically incorrect to use they/them as singular anymore, people still get confused about it. A friend’s parent recently responded to their pronouns, saying: “But if I tell Shelly you’re coming round for dinner, she’ll think you’re bringing extra people!”
Try this: if you are using the pronoun in a scenario where there is no confusion over singular versus plural, just go ahead and use it (“You are going to meet my friend Poppy today, I hope you like them”).
If you are using it in an instance where it might be misconstrued as plural, you can change the first part of the sentence to make it clear (“I may bring a friend, their name is Poppy”).
If you still feel that is confusing, you can be explicit (“I asked Poppy – who uses they/them pronouns – they might come”). This also takes the onus off your non-binary friend for having to explain it themselves later.
What to avoid
Avoid assuming every person’s gender. Feel free to ask people when you meet them what pronouns they use. Feel free to put your own pronouns in your email signature, or to introduce people using your pronouns (this can take the focus off non-binary people having to do all the work).
What to embrace
Embrace doing your own research on pronouns, without expecting non-binary people to educate you. Encourage open dialogue, which means being open about your own shortcomings or fears, when relevant. Ensure this is a means to steer conversation forward (“Hey, did I get that right just then?”) not back (“Well actually this is pretty scary for me, so you shouldn’t correct me”).
What if I get pushback?
People may use your respect for another’s pronouns as a means to argue with you about the broader political context around gender and/or LGBTQ rights. But you don’t need to be needlessly drawn into an argument unless that’s where you want to go. Briefly explain why you are doing it, and if the challenge escalates, consider shutting down the conflict (“It’s my choice to respect their wishes”; or even the more direct “I don’t want to argue about this”).
What if I make a mistake?
When you make a mistake, apologize, be gracious, and move on. Generally people aren’t out to get you. Don’t get too hung up: my experience is that people know getting it wrong is part of the process and are forgiving if they feel you are trying your best.
Sometimes you can check that you said the right thing first, rather than getting caught up in your head (“Hey, when I said that, was it offensive?’). Above all, recognize mistakes happen and apologies are OK, but don’t mistake them for real work. Saying sorry a handful of times might be fine, but if you’re misgendering someone over and over again you might want to think about why, and do better.
You’ll be OK
Exposure is key. Keep using they/them, and soon it will feel normal. That’s the aim.
«They» в единственном числе и как его использовать
Table of Contents
Попробуйте определить, какие местоимения используются в следующем диалоге?
Вас могло удивить, что Нина и Зак используют местоимения множественного числа («they», «them» и «their») говоря об одном человеке. Может им следовало использовать «he» или «she»?
Сегодня мы объясним, почему и как носители английского языка используют «they» говоря об одном человеке.
1. Местоимения третьего лица единственного числа
Во-первых, давайте рассмотрим, что такое местоимения третьего лица единственного числа. На уроках английского языка вы, вероятно, видели такую таблицу местоимений.
Поэтому, когда люди используют «they» для обозначения одного человека, они относятся к нему как к местоимению единственного числа. Вот почему это называется «singular they».
2. Что не так с “He” или “She”?
Изначально «he» и «she» были единственными местоимениями третьего лица единственного числа, которые относились к людям. Поэтому, если вы не знали чей-либо пол, то в официальной устной и письменной речи вы бы обращались к человеку как «he or she».
Однако фраза «he or she» довольно громоздкая. Представьте если бы вам пришлось использовать её ежедневно:
3. Почему испозльзуют “They”?
Когда вы не знаете чей-то пол, гораздо проще использовать «they», чем «he or she». Однако люди не используют это местоимение не только потому, что это удобно.
«Тhey» в единственном числе – грамматически правильно. Известные писатели, такие как Шекспир и Джейн Остин, использовали его. Носители английского языка используют его по крайней мере с 14 века.
There’s not a man I meet but doth salute me As if I were their well-acquainted friend
— Shakespeare in A Comedy of Errors
Кроме того, в отличие от фразы «he or she», местоимение «they» гендерно-нейтральнoe. Это означает, что оно используется как уважительный способ обращения к кому-то, кто не идентифицирует себя как мужчина или женщина.
4. Как использовать “They” в единственном числе?
Когда вы не имеете в виду конкретного человека
In English, people use pronouns like «anybody,» «everyone,» «someone,» and «who» when they aren’t referring to a specific person. You can use singular «they» in place of these pronouns.
В английском языке люди используют такие местоимения, как «anybody», «everyone», «someone», и «who», когда они не обращаются к конкретному человеку. Вы можете использовать единственное число «they» вместо этих местоимений.
Вы также можете использовать «they» в единственном числе, когда говорите о группе людей в целом.
Когда вы имеете в виду конкретного человека
Вы также можете использовать «they», когда имеете в виду конкретного человека, но не знаете его пол или не хотите его раскрыть.
«They» следует использовать когда вы говорите о ком-то и не хотите предполагать их пол или они сказали вам, что предпочтают это местоимение.
“Themselves” или “Themself”?
Возвратная форма «them» – themselves». Например: «The kids made themselves sandwiches.» («Дети сделали себе бутерброды.») Означает ли это, что возвратная форма единственного числа «them» — «themself»?
В повседневном общении подходят оба. Большинство людей не заметят, какой вариант вы используете.
Однако, форма «themself» ещё не получила широкого распространения в официальном английском языке. Поэтому, когда вы говорите или пишете что-то формальное, безопаснее использовать «themselves» или вообще избегать возвратного местоимения.
Хотите узнать, как на самом деле носители говорят по-английски?
Если вы хотите узнать больше об английском языке или попрактиковаться в разговорной речи, забронируйте урок с профессиональным репетитором. В Engoo есть тысячи репетиторов доступных 24/7. Регистрируйтесь здесь.
What do they / them / theirs pronouns mean?
This set of pronouns is traditionally used to refer to groups of people (plural). However, these pronouns are increasingly used as gender neutral pronouns to refer to a single person (singular).
The use of the singular “they” pronoun is perhaps the most commonly adopted gender neutral pronoun, in part due to its ease of use and understanding compared to other proposed pronouns.
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