You prefer to do your chores before allowing yourself to relax

Type me (Doing the Sakinova test and other questionaires)

Hexigoon

Registered

Testing something. Instead of doing the Sakinova test the regular way I’m going to just write down my answers to their questions instead. Feel free to type me however you see it. I’m curious if people’s thoughts would match the test’s output
There’s a lot of questions here, so I wouldn’t blame you if you just skim through it. Some are like repeats.

#1 You often use analogies and similes to communicate new ideas.
Yeah.

#2 You have been consistently logical throughout your life.
I wish, I do value logical consistency a lot but I often feel I’m quite an inconsistent person.

#3 You streamline existing systems for the sake of efficiency and productivity.
I wouldn’t say I’m very efficient or productive when I’m planning projects. Infact it’s safe to say I over-plan, I make a lot of notes, lists, diagrams and graphs. I quite enjoy just analyzing something like it’s a puzzle. I do look at existing systems but then try to come up with my own rules and systems to organize data.

#4 You greatly value social harmony and often go out of your way to maintain it.
Yeah, I want peace, I get irked by the intense feelings conflict brings out, I’m rather scared by my own anger coming out and losing my marbles thanks to it. I wish the world would just freakin’ calm down at times and get its act together. A lot of conflict seems so pointless and the answer for solving it obvious.

#5 You are skilled at recognizing whether the details in front of you match what you are used to.
Mm, more or less. My pattern recognition isn’t bad but my memory can be. If you put an object in front of me with a certain set of physical details it might take me a while to recall if I’ve seen it before.

#6 You take on subjects with a burning interest only to drop them once they no longer feel new to you.
Yes and no, I do get into these frequent cycles of burning interest for an activity then eventually my interest burns out and I put it on the backburner again for later. I never truly «drop» a subject or project though, the interest comes back eventually, and I really hate dropping things for good if there hasn’t been any closure.

#7 You may be viewed as whiny and/or depressive.
I think I’d leave that up to you to decide if I seem whiny but I do go through depressive episodes.

#8 You tend to express sympathy only after you empathize with someone.
As I understand it sympathy means an expression of pity for someone’s misfortune while empathy is about feeling as the other person feels. In that case yes, I need to feel empathy to express sympathy for the person.

#9 You like to organize things for pleasure.
I do get a lot of enjoyment from planning projects out, strategizing or like. organizing a farm / base in Minecraft.
Wouldn’t say I get as much from organizing in the ‘tidying your room’ sense, though it is nice to see things become clean.

#10 You imagine things that aren’t directly connected to the real world.
Yeah, easy. I’ve always had an active imagination and interest in the metaphysical.

#11 You have an eye for aesthetics and «enjoy the finer things in life.»
I think so. Art and beauty are quite important for having a sense of peace around you.
I really wish I could enjoy the finer things in life a bit more though. I like luxuries but I get lost in my own headspace to focus on this.

#12 Fake people bother you.
Manipulative and overly shallow people do.

#13 You sometimes fail to adapt to new data because it is not consistent with your personal understanding of an idea.
Yeah, I can be stubborn and think I know more than I do and prone to making some leaps and assumptions if I’m lacking in data.
My understanding adapts over time as more information comes about.

#14 You have a strict internal moral code that comes from within regardless of any external standards.
Over my life I might’ve developed some internal principles that make sense to me, though I don’t think I’m very rigidly moral as either external or internal pressures come in. I might say I don’t like the evils of livestock meat production, it disgusts me, but if someone serves me a burger then it’s like «well, I don’t want to waste it. wasting it makes it even worse, right?»
I think a lot of my values are just pretty basic-ass morals you’d learn early on in childhood like don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t cheat, treat others how you’d want to be treated, sharing is caring, pay other’s what they’re due, etc.

#15 You work through problems by yourself and detach yourself from other people to arrive at a conclusion.
Yeah, for the most part if it’s my own issue.

#16 You live in the «here and now.»
Trying to get better at this instead of being so damn detatched.

#17 You may be viewed as «fake» or «manipulative» to others.
Mm. I guess this is something other people would have to judge for themselves.

#18 You come up with internal logical frameworks, theories, and systems to describe the world around you.
Yeah. pretty much.

#19 You modify internal logical frameworks to account for new data, and you sometimes find yourself re-evaluating them when new data is incompatible with it.
Eventually, it’s kinda bothersome getting things wrong but yes, I will change my mind given new data.

#20 You are blunt and straight-to-the-point in communication.
There is a certain bluntness in how I see things but I try to be gentle with it. I think sometimes it can come off as passive-aggressive if upset. You can be the judge of how blunt I seem.

#21 You live in the present, not the past or the future.
My body does but my mind’s very often in the future always thinking of where I want to be at or where things are going or how cool the future will be compared to the present.

#22 You may be seen as reckless and unknowingly hurt those around you.
I doubt it, I’m more likely to be seen as too cautious. If I’m being reckless then something is wrong.

#23 You are an excellent problem solver and have an incredible ability to analyze things in depth.
I’d like to think I develop some interesting approaches to solving a problem.
Analyze things in depth? More like analyzing things to death.

#24 You would rather sugarcoat a problem than upset someone.
Yes. I don’t want to make the problem harder.

#25 You try to help people to the point where you begin to forget taking care of your own needs.
It’s certainly known to happen.

#26 You follow a consistent routine.
Not really, I’m pretty bad with routines, but I have been trying lately to maintain a walking routine.

#27 You become stubborn and resolute in the face of opposition when it comes to your personal beliefs.
Yeah, but more so online though because there is a barrier there and it’s just easier to write out disagreements than speak them. Offline I’d probably get more quiet and internally wondering what kinda person I’m actually dealing with and why would they think that way.

#28 You can easily think of something random to say.
Do fish view boats and submarines in the same way we view UFOs?

#29 You have trouble communicating your ideas with people.
sigh Unfortunately yes. I feel like it rarely translates well.

#30 You always try to communicate tactfully with people.
Yes. Given it hasn’t devolved into a complete shit-show.

#31 You are attracted to symbolism, mysticism and the unknown.
When I was in my late teens and early 20s I was super into conspiracy theories, and I’m still a real sucker for stuff like Tarot, sacred geometry, narrative analysis, archetypes, alchemy, astrology, ghost hunting and paranormal shows, conlanging, heavily symbolic media with hidden themes like the films of Kubrick. So yeah I’d say so.
You should see my notebooks, they’re full of symbols and hermetic style drawings.

#32 You are drawn toward the abstract and often obsess over meanings.
See #31

#33 You find it difficult to concentrate on a single subject.
After a while, yes.

#34 You are fiercely individualistic and pride yourself on your uniqueness.
Am I unique? I don’t know if I stand out at all. I take a lot from others and the world to form some identity but I feel a little hollow deep down. I kinda envy people who have that kinda self-certainiy about who they are and what they’re here for. I truly do admire that.

#35 You understand a concept by logically recognizing and drawing patterns between different, already known concepts.
Yep, that’s how things often click.

#36 You trust hard facts and data more than anything else.
I respect science and expertise, but it’s questionable what the hard facts are at times. I’ll do research and just go with my gut ultimately.

#37 You «just know» things without being able to consciously put them into words.
It feels like that anyway.

#38 You thrive on new and exciting experiences.
I think it’s important for sure, otherwise I’d be wasting away and feeling pointless, but it’s not something I get much of.

#39 You see the world as a bundle of possibilities waiting to be explored.
Yes, the world sure is vast and quite scary, but it’d be a shame not to explore what it has to offer.

#40 You relate present experiences back to past experiences.
Sure, if things feel familiar.

#41 Generally, you would prefer a solution be thorough before putting it into action (at the cost of time).
It is how I tend to go about solutions, I want to know what I’m supposed to be doing exactly.

#42 You place a great amount of trust in the mysterious and unconscious world.
My gut is saying yes.

#43 You find yourself agreeing with those who claim that the ends justify the means.
I understand that utilitarian reasoning, but I don’t necessarily agree with going that far with it.

#44 You easily sympathize with others’ struggles.
Yes.

#45 You feel as though you are one of the only truly nice people left in this world
Not at all. I feel I could be a lot nicer really.

#46 You express yourself honestly and authentically.
I try given hope that it won’t cause problems

#47 You would question anything.
Yes. Why are you asking this?

#48 You consider yourself an organized person and take control of situations before they get out of hand.
Not particularly.

#49 You are hesitant to strictly conform to social roles.
Being socially-cohecive isn’t a problem, but if someone expects me to do something stupid or bad for the sake of it then that’s different.

#50 You may be described as ditzy or scatterbrained.
It’s possible. People sometimes say I look spaced out / on drugs and I can be quite clumsy or have awkward presence.

#51 You prefer living in your dreams to living in the real world.
Yes. #DaydreamBeliever.

#52 You are extremely objective and «tell it as it is.»
I think I’m too subjective to say I’m extremely objective. I’ll just tell it as I see it.

#53 You generally work through problems with others and involve yourself with other people to arrive at a conclusion.
I try to figure things out on my own. It’s a bit of a problem actually because it means I don’t ask people for help when it’d be helpful.

#54 You have a tendency to go off-topic in conversation.
I don’t think so, but it depends on who I’m talking with.

#55 You often feel awkward and aimless during leisure time.
A little bit yeah, it’s rather annoying.

#56 You may be viewed as selfish or self-centered.
Don’t know.

#57 You are drawn to the new, novel, and original.
Yep!

#58 You are a brainstormer: you offer a multitude of different ideas in a given situation.
I can if called upon to do that. It’s not too difficult

#59 You have an uncanny ability of recognizing others’ needs.
I recognize the basic human needs

#60 You often use metaphors to communicate new ideas.
Yes, although I try to limit this to seem more clear and straightforward.

#61 You rely on external sources to support your argument.
Not as much as just arguing the basic logic and principles behind it.

#62 You feel as though your insights often go misunderstood.
Yeah.

#63 You absorb information from the outside world without additional processing.
Not sure.

#64 You have a strong tendency to see things as either good or bad.
Things can often be quite complicated and nuanced so it isn’t always so certain.

#65 You constantly set yourself on goals and objectives.
Absolutely, I’ve always got some new goal going on. I’d feel very empty if I had no goals and frequent accomplishments.

#66 You value inclusion and try your best to involve everyone in a group.
Yeah, I’d want people to be involved if they’d like to join in some group activity, I’d welcome that.

#67 You rely only on past experiences to guide yourself through the present.
Sometimes, the past has valuable lessons but I tend to think different times bring different variables that mean the future won’t play out quite the same way.

#68 You cannot help but get hung up on small details.
I don’t think I’m that pedantic but I suppose it happens in fear and don’t know what to do or what’s going to happen.

#69 You have trouble communicating with those who do not think like you.
It is quite a struggle not to be on the same page, like speaking different languages.

#70 You are able to manipulate conversations by reading others’ body language.
I suppose so

#71 You believe your presence is greatly felt in a room.
lol no, I really doubt it.

#72 You consider yourself a practical and realistic person, free from imagination.
I’m definitely not free from imagination, It’s questionable how practical I actually am.

#73 You start many different projects, but you finish few.
Yeah, but I always feel they’ll be completed eventually.

#74 You believe that arriving at a truth is more important than winning an argument.
Yes. I don’t like arguing just for the sake of it.

#75 You feel a strong sense of unity when communicating with others in a group.
When things are going well, yeah!

#76 You would do whatever it takes to win a debate.
Pffft, who takes debates that seriously?

#77 You value truth and logic more than anything else.
They’re very important to me but I don’t know how I’d rank the things I value.

#78 You place a lot of value on details and past experiences.
Not a great deal.

#79 You greatly value tradition and duty.
I’m not very conservative other than in surface level ways like what I wear and eat, but duty is important.

#80 You are unnerved by uncertainty and the unknown.
It’s a stressor, I think I can go overboard in my worrying over it and then I’ll feel like an idiot when it turns out not anywhere as bad as I thought. Bloody catastrophizing.

#81 You dislike change.
I greatly desire progress, so not really, change is a part of life. Change that feels like a downgrade though sucks

#82 You see the big picture in a sea of details.
I have a pretty broad outlook on things.

#83 You become upset when your care for others goes unappreciated.
Yeah, for sure.

#84 You see so many possibilities that you have trouble committing to a single one.
Sometimes there’s a few possibilities that seem just as good as eachother which is annoying but I’ll find one to hone in on given the time to mull over it.

#85 You exude charisma and are usually viewed as charming by others.
Haha I have no idea if people would see me as charismatic since I’m not too articulate. I think I can charm, but that’s up to others to decide.

#86 You easily recognize internal bodily sensations and act to suit your body’s needs.
Not so well. Like I’ll easily sit or lay down in awkward positions not realizing it’s actually quite uncomfortable and I’m making my leg go numb.

#87 You stay true to yourself.
I try but what is being true to myself really?

#88 You are aware of your surroundings and aren’t likely to miss something right in front of you.
I’d like to say yeah but I’ve walked into lamp-posts before.

#89 You are often the first to react to a question.
How could I know if I’m the first?

#90 You have an excellent sense of direction and instantly know your way around a new place.
Heck no, I just wander around aimlessly unless I have a map lol

#91 You often arrive at conclusions that seem to come out of nowhere; you relate to «realizing» answers.
Yeah, it’s pretty nifty!

#92 You may be viewed as «meddling» or «controlling» to others.
Sure hope not, I sorta doubt it.

#93 You are described as «stuck in your ways.»
I’ve been called stubborn but haven’t heard that before. My perspective is always evolving.

#94 You frequently have hunches or insights about the future that turn out to be correct.
It happens and it’s quite freaky when it turns out correct.

#95 You are a risk-taker.
Not really.

#96 You explore things in depth for purely for the sake of exploring them in depth.
Yep, for some things it’s just pure fascination and I’ll spend hours researching it.

Don’t hate me just because I have the power of hexagons on my side.

20 Genius Ways to Make Chores More Fun

Who says that mopping and a movie are mutually exclusive?

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American spends nearly 40 minutes a day cleaning, from washing dishes after dinner to making beds. However, anyone who’s spent a Saturday scrubbing floors or trying to get their mirrors streak-free will tell you that cleaning isn’t exactly the highlight of their week.

Luckily, that doesn’t mean that budgeting in a weekly housekeeper is the only way to keep your house clean without driving yourself crazy. Implementing these easy tricks for making chores more fun will have your house looking like a million bucks in no time. And when you want every surface in your home to sparkle, This is the Safest Way to Clean Your Floors.

Want to make your cleaning marathon a whole lot less dull? Put on some music. For maximum motivation, make sure you’re listening to something upbeat: researchers at Texas Tech University have discovered that study participants who listened to up-tempo music while exercising worked out for longer, meaning it might just make those chores fly by, as well. And for more feel-good advice, here are the 50 Genius Tricks to Improve Your Life.

Before you break out that broom, make sure you have a clear picture in mind of what you want to accomplish while you’re cleaning. Not only will this make it easier to determine when you’re done, it may actually make you more likely to complete the tasks you’ve set your mind to. In fact, researchers at Dominican University of California found that writing down goals made study subjects significantly more likely to achieve them. And when you want more energy to get those everyday tasks done, start with the 25 Non-Coffee Ways to Boost Your Energy Levels!

A little incentive goes a long way when it comes to getting things done around the house. Promising yourself a fun activity, whether that’s a movie on the couch or dinner out with your significant other, after a long day of cleaning, can make you a lot more inclined to pick up after yourselves. Luckily, by implementing the 40 Easy Ways to Stretch Your Paycheck, you’ll have a lot more cash to reward yourself with.

Kill two birds with one stone and turn that chore marathon into a marathon workout, as well. Putting on some ankle weights, doing calf raises while you’re washing dishes, or doing some lunges as you mop or vacuum can help you meet your cleaning goals and your fitness goals in one fell swoop. And for more up-to-the-minute exercise trends, Meet «Plogging:» The New Swedish Exercise Craze Everyone’s Talking About.

If you’re doing chores with your kids, roommate, or significant other, add in some healthy competition to make things more fun. Offer stickers or screen time as a reward to whoever cleans up their space the fastest or make the loser buy the winner dinner to make things more enjoyable.

That boring old mop and broom probably don’t make you eager to start whipping your house into shape. However, opting for some slightly cuter cleaning tools, whether that means a pair of ruffled kitchen gloves or an adorable dustpan set, might just make you feel happier to be polishing the place up. And for more ways to spruce up your home, Here’s the Safest Way to Clean Your Oven.

There’s no reason why you can’t do your chores while doing something you enjoy a lot more. If you’re folding laundry, washing a mountain of dishes, or organizing, go ahead and watch a movie while you’re doing it. Before you know it, your work will be done. Don’t know what to watch? Start with the 37 Movies Every Man Over 40 Should Be Able to Quote.

There’s plenty of value in hard work. There’s also a lot to be said for saving yourself the stress of vacuuming your carpets every single day. Whenever possible, automate some of your more mundane tasks, whether that means having your mail picked up instead of heading to the post office, using a robot vacuum to pick up after yourself, or opting for drop-off service at your local laundromat. Having some of your tasks taken care of for you will make the ones you actually do yourself seem a lot less overwhelming. The good news? The 40 Items Every Man Over 40 Should Have in His Home will help you make your daily life a little easier.

If you wouldn’t hit the gym in your work clothes, why are you cleaning in them? Research suggests that having designated outfits for specific tasks may actually increase motivation, so go ahead and treat yourself to something cute to clean in.

Instead of cleaning using your usual method, try turning it into a game. See how much junk you can get into the trash can from the foul line (AKA your kitchen table), or just put on some mopping slippers and give your best figure skater impression while getting the place spic-and-span. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb

Chore charts worked well when you were a kid, and there’s no reason they can’t do the same now. Keeping a chore chart in your kitchen will serve as a visible reminder of what you have to do, keeping you motivated. Better yet, when your tasks are broken down, tackling the messes throughout your living space will feel a lot more manageable. And for more great ways to keep your home sparkling, read up on Swedish Death Cleaning, Which Banishes Clutter Forever.

And when those chores are done, go ahead and give yourself a gold star for them. Research suggests that incentivizing tasks can significantly increase workplace performance, indicating that a few gold stars that you can cash in for something fun will keep you motivated to keep the place spotless.

Want to make every chore easier and more fun? Buy yourself a label maker and use it to label where things go in your house. A little organization can make a major difference in the amount of time it takes you to clean up.

Instead of committing yourself to a cleaning marathon each week, try doing a monthly clean out of spaces throughout your home. Going through your home and putting together piles of things to either donate or ditch will seriously expedite the cleaning process in the future.

Try making your chores a lot more fun by treating them like a race. Set a timer and go through each room, trying to get everything cleaned before the bell goes off.

Instead of switching off when it comes to cleaning, make it an activity you do with your partner. Not only can this turn chores into a fun bonding activity, it will also help cut down on the time it takes to get the job done, giving you more time to do actually fun instead.

Doing chores doesn’t always have to be a marathon activity. In fact, making it a series of sprints can make it a lot more fun. Schedule smaller cleaning tasks throughout the day and you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed by the mountain of chores you have ahead of you.

And when you’re doing chores, make sure to take a few minutes of time off every hour or so. Having a cup of coffee, chatting with a friend, or just relaxing for a few minutes between tasks can make your task list seem less monumental in the long run.

Your job ends at a certain time, and your chores should, too. Giving yourself a specific quitting time will make it easier to get the job done without feeling like you’re wasting your whole day.

If you want to get your kids excited about cleaning, invite them to make some non-toxic home cleaners with you. Not only is this mad scientist act fun, it means you’ll save a significant amount on your cleaning supplies and can avoid some of the nastier ingredients in store-bought stuff. Not sure how to start? This Is How to Make Your Own Home Dusting Spray.

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Age Appropriate Household Chores For Teenagers

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Learning how to do household chores at the youngest age possible is one way to set your teen up for success in later life. Marty Rossman, a researcher from the University of Minnesota, found out in a study that children who were given household chores turned out to be more successful in later life than those who weren’t given chores.

It’s a great reminder to keep telling yourself on days when you and your teen are arguing over chores.

It has been suggested that children from the age of two should start doing chores and helping around the house. Of course, you can’t expect much help to come from the little one at such a young age. The focus, at this stage, is to get them used to helping you and being responsible for something at home.

As they get older, chores for teenagers will gradually shift to tasks that teach them to be self-sufficient. The latter parts of their teen years should be reserved for learning chores that’ll prepare them to live independently.

As a parent, your part to play is to help your teens learn to do things for themselves. Seeing them struggle with completing a chore may be hard at first, but it’s important to back off and let them see the housework through.

Allowing your teen to experience doing chores is one of the best things you can do as a parent to prepare them for the world. Sooner or later, your teen will be leaving the nest. You’ll want them to be able to do things on their own, so why not teach them how it’s done now?

Thinking of getting your teen started on doing chores around the house, but you’re not sure where or how to start? We’ve got your back.

Here are some of the best chores to assign to your teens to get them ready for the world.

Table of Contents

Chores That Encourage Self-Sufficiency

Start your teens off with chores that promote self-sufficiency. It’s nice to think that you’d always be there for your kids, but the reality is that you won’t always be by their side.

Sooner or later, you’ll need to send them off to explore the world by themselves, and the best thing that you can do is teach them how to survive on their own.

This is why it’s essential to start teaching them about self-sufficiency and independence at the earliest possible age.

Here’s a chores list for teenagers to help them grow up as self-reliant individuals who can thrive on their own.

Making their own bed – this chore doesn’t only make your teen’s room look tidier, it also helps give them that feeling of getting their first accomplishment for the day done. Read more about the benefits of making your bed here.

Keeping their private space (their bedroom) neat and tidy – if they tidy up their room, they’ll know where everything is. This will help eliminate the need for your teen to ask you or your partner where things are.

Changing their own sheets – help your teen prevent acne breakouts by teaching them how to change their sheets once a week!

Cleaning their room – from dusting and vacuuming to changing their sheets and pillowcases, this chore is something your teen should learn how to do by the age of 13. Make it a part of their weekly routine so they can incorporate it well into their adult years later.

Preparing their school stuff for the next day – this should be easy for your teen considering they decide on what to wear and what to bring to school every day anyway.

Doing their own laundry – having a washing machine is so convenient, especially when you have a teen in the house. Teach your teen how to use the washer and dryer so they can start taking care of their own laundry. One load every week shouldn’t take too much of their time.

Folding and putting their own (clean) clothes away – on the rare o

“I’ll Do It Later!” 6 Ways to Get Kids to Do Chores Now

By James Lehman, MSW

The idea that kids should learn to do chores for some abstract reason—like duty or responsibility—sounds good on paper, but has very little practical application in a child’s life. It just doesn’t work as a strategy.

But there are practical steps you can take to get your kids to do their chores.

Getting kids to do chores is one of the most common arguments families have. We yell at our child, “Why haven’t you cleaned your room yet?” while our child is on the couch watching YouTube, shouting back, “I’ll do it later!” Or they say nothing and just ignore us.

The choice shouldn’t be excitement or chore. The choice should be boredom or chore.

But the reason kids don’t like doing chores is the same reason adults don’t like doing chores: household tasks are generally boring. And most kids are not mature enough to understand that if they work quickly and finish their chores, they will be rewarded by getting back to their fun.

Instead, they pout, procrastinate, and drag their feet all to avoid 20 or 30 minutes of what is relatively easy work.

If you feel like you’re constantly nagging your kids to do their household chores, here are six practical steps you can take.

It is also appropriate to give that part of his allowance to a sibling who does the chore instead. This way, you’re not working on the chore, you’re working on the communications process, as well as your child’s motivation.

4. Create a Structure for Chores

Structure is essential when it comes to completing household tasks. I believe there should be a set time when chores are to be done.

Evenings are usually the best time for chores during the school year because doing chores in the morning just adds to the stress and intensity of getting to school on time. In the summer, though, I recommend doing chores in the morning to get them out of the way before the day starts.

In general, before the video games or any electronics go on, make it a rule that your child’s bed has to be made, his clothes should be in the hamper, and his room is tidy. This way, he’s starting to learn that his responsibilities have to be met before he can have free time.

Again, you never want to be pulling your child back from something exciting in order to do something mundane and boring. Rather, you want to get them to work through the mundane and boring things to get to something exciting.
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Sometimes as a parent, you have to ask yourself, “if my child isn’t doing his chores, what is he doing?” You really have to be aware of how your child is using his time. If he’s not doing his chores because he’s playing on the computer or reading a comic book, you’ve got to stop that pattern.

In the end, the choice shouldn’t be excitement or chore. The choice should be boredom or chore. Kids have to understand that until chores are finished, they don’t get to have fun. No electronics until chores are done and no going out with friends until chores are done. The alternative to doing their chores needs to be boredom.

With this kind of structure in place, most kids will eventually choose to do their chores and then get on with the things that they want to do.

Finally, set aside time when all the kids in your family are doing their chores at once. So your 15-year-old might be unloading the dishwasher while your 11-year-old is taking out the garbage. That way, no one feels as if they’re missing out or being punished by having to complete their tasks. It’s just chore time.‌

5. Don’t Use Chores as a Punishment

Don’t use chores as a punishment or as a consequence. If somebody misbehaves and does something wrong, don’t give them a consequence of doing the dishes, for example. You want your child to learn that a chore is an expected responsibility to be done no matter what.

Only use chores as a consequence when your child does something wrong to another sibling. In order to make amends—to right the wrong—they do that person’s chore for them. That’s a physical way of saying, “I was wrong to do that, and I’m doing your chore to show you that I’m sincere.”

6. Use a Reward System

If you want kids to take responsibility for their chores, integrate their tasks with a reward system. Put a chart on the refrigerator with each child’s name on it, with their chores listed next to their names. If they make their bed promptly and do it right, they get a checkmark. When they get five checkmarks, they get a reward. Maybe it’s staying up an hour later. Maybe it’s having more screen time one night.

In my opinion, electronics don’t have to be on every waking hour. Just because they have a phone or tablet doesn’t mean the child has to be using it all the time. Each child should get their allotted screen time, and then screen time is over. If they want more, they should have to earn it. This allows you to use electronics time as a reward.

Kids might understand that doing the dishes is part of their role in the family, but they’re not going to feel it in some significant way. Chores are work, and in that sense, very few of us like to work unless we’re getting rewarded for it. And the reward has to be something we like.

If my boss had paid me in carrots, I wouldn’t have worked much at all—because one or two carrots and I’m all set. Kids have the same motivating principle. They want a reward in a currency that’s meaningful.

Conclusion

Getting your child to do chores becomes a battle when you allow it to grow into one. If you’re standing over your kids telling them over and over again to “empty the dishwasher, mow the lawn, clean the kitchen,” and they’re digging their heels in and still not complying, then you are in a battle. And as the parent, you need to end the battle.

If you don’t end the battle, you get caught in a nagging cycle. And the problem with nagging, of course, is that it doesn’t work. So, replace your nagging with the tips above and put an end to the chore battle once and for all.

About James Lehman, MSW

James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation®, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.

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I can understand your frustration. It can be difficult when your adult children are capable of helping out and choose not to. We have several articles that focus specifically on adult children living at home. You can find those here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/ages-and-stages/adult-children/

We appreciate you sharing your story. Take care.

Hi, Carmine. Thank you for reaching out. We have several articles that offer useful tools and techniques for parenting a child with ODD. You can find those here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/conditions-diagnoses/oppositional-defiant-disorder/.

We appreciate you being part of our Empowering Parents community. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going.

Hi, Grace. There really isn’t a right or wrong answer to that question. Each family is different and expectations around chores may not be the same from one family to the next. We do advise having kids do chores as this can help your child learn necessary skills of daily living and also helps to develop responsibility. Whether this is done every day, a few times a week, or only on the weekend depends on what will work best for your family.

I hope this helps to answer your question. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going. Take care.

I deisagree with you on kids and chores a 100%!

No kids should NOT have regular chores. Kids are kids NOT mini adults and need childhoods! Play is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in childhood. Kids have school, homework, etc already. EVERYTHING they can learn with chores they can learn in other ways. Yes, we should teach kids skills, etc and its OK if they help once in a while but making them have chores on a regular basis is WRONG! I did not have chores as a kid and have NO problems as an adult, I thank my parents for giving me a CHILDHOOD. I do the same with my kids!

i disagree with you T.P. Kids can do chores AND play! even in my classroom, my students have classroom jobs (chores). we work together to keep OUR classroom neat and tidy. read below about the benefits of regular chores.

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10 Reasons Kids Should be Paid to do Chores

10 Reasons Kids Should be Paid to do Chores

It often seems like there is a constant battle going on between kids and parents, when it comes to chores. Even when charts are written out, and consequences enforced, kids avoid their chores like the plague. With working parents, kids are often left to their own devices after school. This leaves the chores up to chance, most times. Some kids may do them all, while others only do one or two. Kids also have a habit of waiting until about 15 minutes before their parents get home to start an hour’s worth of chores. This leaves parents frustrated at the end of a long work day.

Sometimes, a little monetary motivation can help to ensure that the end of the each day goes smoothly. Paying for chores does not mean that all chores have to be paid for. Kids do need to learn to clean up after themselves. If you have an older child that carries extra weight, however, why not compensate them a little? Kids like to feel appreciated when they go out of their way to do something.

Parents have to find some balance between getting their kids to do what they are told, and offering some rewards. Kids should not be paid to obey, however, cleaning every toilet in the house might warrant a few dollars. Each family has to work out their own system when it comes to paying for chores. There is a lot that can be accomplished by shifting to a paid system.

10 Value of Money

Kids have to learn the value of money at some point. This cannot be accomplished by simply having them manage money that you give them. Money does not mean anything when it is simply given to you. It has value when you have to work for it. If a child is given an allowance each week with no household expectations, they learn to expect money to fall from the sky. This is not the type of mindset that you want to encourage. When they are adults, a weekly paycheck is not going to magically appear unless they work.

When a child goes to buy something, they may not even consider how much time the parents spend making the money. As adults, we know how many hours of work it took to buy the big television. A child has no idea. They need to learn the value of each dollar they get, unless it is given as a gift for a special occasion. When they receive payment for chores, they soon start to realize how many loads of dishes is takes to buy the new video game.

It takes time to learn the value money. The new payment system should be explained to your child before it is implemented. It is fine to keep some chores unpaid, as well. Kids should not be paid for picking up their own messes. That is a responsibility. If they are mowing the lawn or babysitting, however, a payment works out nicely. These are things you would often pay someone else to do. Every family is different. You have to decide what is worth paying for, and what is considered regular maintenance.

9 It’s a Big Help

Families with multiple children often feel overwhelmed at the mess in their house. It starts to affect everyone. Children may not think they need to have a clean house, but they can certainly feel the chaos when things start to get out of hand. No one enjoys having to search through piles of laundry for clothes, or smelling week old trash. When you pay the children for chores, they often do more. This is a huge help when it comes to running a household.

Perhaps you normally mow the lawn every Saturday morning. This takes away from your relaxing weekend. After a long week at work, it is incredibly helpful to have one of the kids mow the lawn, instead. Dishes are always an ongoing issue with multiple family members snacking throughout the day. Even when everyone cleans the ones they use, there are many more to do. When you pay one child to wash all of the pots and pans, the dinner prep dishes get done, as well.

The laundry is also a chore that never seems to end. Everyone may be keeping up with their own clothing. This, however, still leaves the towels, sheets, and throw blankets to pile up in the hamper. Paying a kid to do a sweep of the house for stray laundry can be a huge help, as well. It is certainly worth a small fee to have the towels washed each week before they begin to smell like mildew. When the extra chores are done, you can also rest assured that your home is presentable, should a friend stop in for a visit.

8 Ensures the Chores Get Done

It is often more work to get the kids to do their chores, than it is to just do them yourself. Parenting is hard work. Fighting with kids over chores is no fun. There is no excuse for kids to be disobedient about chores, however, it can help to listen to their views. They may feel like they do more than their siblings, or would like to feel they are working towards a goal. Let them know that chores have to be done, with or without pay. After you set this ground rule, you can discuss the payment. Perhaps payment is only given when chores are done on time, or without you having to ask. The important thing is to listen to what your child has to say. Work out something you can both live with.

The goal is to get all of the chores done, without engaging in world war III. This is especially important when both parents work, and the chores need to be done without supervision. When payment is a possibility, you rarely have to worry about coming home to a mess. Even when parents are home on the weekend, they do not want to spend the whole time chasing kids around, yelling at them about chores.

You may be concerned about the non-paying chores not getting done. It is possible that kids may focus only on the chores they get paid for, and leave their personal messes behind. Simply enforce a rule that payment is not given for any chores until the unpaid ones are done, as well.

7 They Often go the Extra Mile

When you plan to pay your kids for chores, you should make sure that they understand the stipulations. Employers do not pay for sloppy work, and neither do parents. Kids do not normally need a pep talk, however, to complete paid work. Instead of a half-done chore, you may find that the chores are done to perfection. You may even find that they are asking for more chores. Kids have very little control over things that they might like to purchase, paid chores give them a way to make some of their own choices. This motivates them to do their best.

Gone are the days when you find the toilet paper on backwards and the laundry turned pink. Kids that get paid for chores pay attention to what they are doing. The key is to make sure they understand that payment is not given for a job done poorly, or incorrectly. Get ready to experience a home filled with shiny mirrors and pristine toilets. Your kids may have been fooling you all along when it comes to household a

Kids may also be willing to keep up with a certain chore throughout the week, for a payout on Friday. This entails assigning a chore that involves regular maintenance. This can include things like keeping bathroom counters dry and clean, keeping bedroom floors free of laundry, or keeping the shoes organized on the entryway shelf. A quick check every evening is all the parent has to do.

6 Kids can Pick and Choose the Chores

There are always chores that have to be done, whether you choose to pay for them or not. These include keeping bedrooms clean, picking up your own trash, and washing your dishes after you use them. Once the basics are established, you can make a list of things you are willing to pay for. This gives children some choices. If they absolutely hate toilets, they can opt for laundry.

When kids can pick chores to get paid for, they are less argumentative. You may find that each kid has something they don’t mind doing, or something they are really good at. Sometimes the simple change of giving them a choice stops the arguing completely. Kids do not have many choices. They are told what to do by parents, teachers, and other family members, on a daily basis. A little freedom goes a long way.

Assign each chore a price and let the kids choose their weekly schedule. You can also have them check a chore off on the board when they complete it. When kids feel like they have a little control over their own life, they may also have an improved attitude.

5 Teaches them How the Real World Works

Eventually, those kids of yours are going to head out into the real world. This may seem like it is a long way away, however, it happens faster than you think. There are a lot of things to learn once you leave your parent’s home. Kids that learn about finances early on, are better off when they enter into young adulthood. They need to learn that asking for money from parents is not the way to achieve their financial goals.

Talk to your kids as they complete the process of earning money. They should have something they are responsible for funding, so they learn to pay bills. This can be something simple, like a contribution to the total food for their pet, or batteries for their favorite toy. This should be age appropriate, and fair. They may not have much to work with. You don’t want to take away from the joy of earning.

You can also talk to your kids about giving to charity, or the church. These are priorities for many families. Use this opportunity to teach your kids about your personal values. They can also learn to save money, and make reasonable purchases with their earnings. They need to understand how working earns money to accomplish goals.

4 They Learn New Skills

Kids may have a certain set of chores that rarely changes when they do not get paid for them. When you move to a paid chore chart, you can add a few different things. These may be chores that the kids do not like very much, or more difficult chores. You can also consider adding few things that your kids have not learned about yet. This opens up a new leaning opportunity, along with the earning potential.

There are many skills that kids must learn before they head out into the real world. It is sometimes difficult to get kids to show interest in some of these. When you pay kids for chores, they may not mind learning a new skill set. Take the time to explain things well, however, so that frustration does not set in. The goal is to, ultimately, have the kids doing the new chores all on their own. Some lesser known skills include ironing, making a full dinner, and polishing furniture.

When kids are met with various house cleaning tasks in their adult years, they can easily apply these abilities. Get creative when making the paid chore list. There some chores that parents never think to hand off to the children. Let them help you paint the walls, work on the car, and fix the dishwasher. Kids learn fast, and can be a great help.

3 They are More Likely to Save

When money has to be earned, there suddenly seems to be less of it. The never-ending supply of spending money from mom and dad, is suddenly gone. Kids might be quick to spend their parent’s money, but think twice when it’s their own.This is a great realization for kids to come to. The piggy bank may begin to get heavy, as kids start to hold back on frivolous purchases.

Whether they are saving for something special, or just hoarding their cash for a rainy day, you should be proud that they figured it out. Kids that earn their own money doing chores, place a higher value on those dollars. They usually think twice before spending it on something that only offers short term satisfaction. The key to making this work, however, is to avoid parental handouts. If kids know they can get free money for their purchases, there is likely to be less interest in managing their own money.

Saving is a necessity of adult life. It is great for kids to learn this early on, as it is often one of the most difficult parts of managing finances. It takes perseverance, self-control, and motivation to earn. By paying your kids for chores, you are setting them up for a successful financial future. Saving becomes a habit they can depend on for life.

2 They Learn to Plan Ahead

Kids are notorious for living in the moment. They are often concerned with themselves and their daily adventures, only. It can be difficult, even, to get them to schedule their schoolwork properly. Between school, sports, and hanging out with friends, money is likely the last thing on their minds. This is the case, however, until you begin expecting them to buy their own things.

When kids want to expand their video game collection, let them know that they need to start paying for their own games. The end of the video game free-for-all may be shocking at first, however, your kids may surprise you. The first week or two of paid chores may not yield enough for everything they want. They have to learn to figure out what their priorities are. They may be able to buy a game, but have to give up their movie rental.

If a new game is coming out on a certain date, kids usually want to play it with friends right away. Kids need to learn to plan ahead for outings or purchases. Perhaps some other treats need to wait while the game money is saved up. Your child may also choose to do extra chores in order to afford the game on its release date. Kids can learn to make plans even further in advance, as they get older.

1 Teaches Time Management

Work often entails some project deadlines. Chores with expiration dates can help kids understand this. First, explain the concept of a work day or deadline to them. This way they can better understand when you set at time limit on a chore. Perhaps the dishes have to be done by seven in the evening, or the dinner cooked by six in the evening. Stick to the rules, and do not issue payment if the deadline is missed.

This concept serves several purposes. It helps them understand that there are expectations. It, also, helps them learn to plan out their day. If they get home at three in the afternoon, they need to plan their activities in a way that allows for the chores to get done before the evening deadlines. It also teaches them that the work is important. They need to see that a parent steps in to meet the deadline if they don’t. Dishes have to be done, whether the child completes the chore or not. This is the same in the working world. If the tasks are not getting done, someone else is brought in to replace the employee.

Time management is about learning the chore schedule, and planning a work day. They may also learn to choose chores only with deadlines that fit in to their present day schedule. Kids that do chores like this, soon learn how much time each task takes, how to write out a schedule, and how to move fast.

Conclusion

When your kids begin to make bigger monetary requests, it may be time to implement the paid chore system. Otherwise you may get in a long-term habit of just handing out money. They can still learn budgeting with money that you give them, however, the earning part brings more reality to the process. When children have to work with a limited amount of earnings, they learn quickly how it feels to be paying bills. This can also be reinforced by giving children a small bill to pay, on a regular basis. This way they learn to do enough chores to earn more than the amount of the bill.

There is no reason feel guilty for not buying your kids everything they ask for. When they move out, it may not be feasible for the parents to help out. Parents can use paid chores to prepare their child for the future. Children that do chores on a regular basis are already more capable of taking care of home. Many new skills may be acquired when payment is given for chores. Kids are more likely to attempt a new chore when they are getting paid for it. Kids may need some guidance, at first. Be sure to lay out the ground rules before beginning the process.

Kids are more capable than you may realize. You may thing your daughter and the lawn mower are not meant to get along. Yet, if you offer payment, your daughter may suddenly be an expert lawn care specialist. Payment ensures that the chores get done, improves moral, and brings on more responsibility. Paying kids for chores does not have to be a sign of a parent that has given up the fight. Expectations of standard chores should still be adhered to. Paying for a given list of chores, however, improves the cleanliness of the home, and makes everyone more relaxed.