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How to Build Up Social Skills as a High Schooler

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High school isn’t just about building an impressive profile to gain entrance to a top college ⁠—t his period is also about mastering the social skills required to succeed in various aspects of life. Along with communicating effectively, students should be able to collaborate with others, respect peers’ space and opinions, and stand up for themselves in school and social situations.

A recent study emphasizes the importance of developing social skills early in students’ academic careers. According to a report by researchers from Pennsylvania State University and Duke University, kindergarten students who scored high on social skills were four times as likely to complete college as those who earned low marks in this arena. In other words, social skills are a strong indicator of a student’s future success.

The good news is there are steps high school students can take now to boost their social IQ and improve their odds of succeeding in college and the workplace. Keep reading for tips to build up your social skills before you leave high school.

Social Skills to Build Up Before College

College freshmen face a number of challenges, such as managing their schedules and living away from home for the first time. One of the best ways to ensure a smooth transition to college life is to practice some of the necessary social skills before leaving high school. Here are some skills crucial to succeeding in high school, college, and the working world:

Communicating Face to Face

With so many interactions taking place on smartphones and computers, high school students sometimes struggle to communicate with peers in-person. Whether they’re chatting casually between classes or having more serious conversations about group projects, students need to practice talking and listening face to face. In particular, students should be able to focus all their attention on the person speaking and avoid getting distracted by incoming text messages or ambient noises.

Speaking Your Mind

Being an active listener is an important social skill, but successful conversationalists also know when to be assertive. Before leaving for college, students should learn how to stand up for themselves in interactions both in and outside of school. For example, high schoolers should be able to express their views in class discussions, defend their ideas in study groups, and push back against peer pressure at a social event. These skills will serve them well when they enter the workforce and need to share their ideas in meetings, or negotiate their salary.

Asking for Help

One of the most valuable social skills for high schoolers is the ability to ask for help. After all, going to college means experiencing new situations where it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Students with strong social skills aren’t afraid to put themselves out there by asking to sit at a new table at lunch, or telling a teacher they need a concept explained more clearly.

What Can Students Do to Improve Their Social Skills?

It’s not enough to know what social skills are essential for success in high school and beyond. Students also need to find ways of mastering these abilities. Here are some tips for improving social skills while still in school:

Opt for Team Activities

Students often feel most comfortable being social when they’re doing something they enjoy. Joining a club or team can be a great way to develop a hobby while practicing some of the social skills that lead to success later in life. For example, a student who enjoys playing the guitar may consider auditioning for the school band. Similarly, a student who loves reading might opt to start a book club. Group activities allow students to develop meaningful connections with peers, and because everyone is gathered together for a common purpose, there’s also less pressure on individuals to come up with conversation starters. Students can relax and enjoy the activity without worrying about what they’re saying.

Get Comfortable With Performing

Public speaking is a struggle for adults and teenagers alike. If you want to improve your social skills and become a better communicator, consider an extracurricular activity that requires speaking in front of crowds. For example, you might opt to join the debate team, sign up for the improv comedy club, or try out for a role in the school play. Sometimes doing the thing you’re afraid of is the best way to overcome your fear and achieve your goals.

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What Can Shy Students Do to Boost Their Skills?

A common misconception is that shyness is equivalent to introversion. These two terms can go hand in hand, but can also stand alone. People who are shy are afraid of social interaction, while introverts prefer spending time alone and often feel tired after a social gathering. Shyness can sometimes prevent students from giving strong presentations in school, from taking leadership roles, or from making friends. Here’s what students on the more timid side can do to be more confident going into college and the real world.

It might sound silly, but practicing conversations ahead of time can go a long way toward boosting students’ confidence in social situations. Whether it’s rehearsing an oral report or role playing what to say to a prospective date, running through these scenarios in advance gives students time to revise their message and tone to achieve the best result. Students may even want to take turns playing both people in the conversation so they can get a better sense of how the other party is likely to react.

Start a Blog or Journal

Blogging or writing in a journal is a great way to work through feelings and ideas before venturing into a social situation. When you write out your thoughts, you have the chance to decide how you feel about something before talking about it with others. For example, a student might write a journal entry about anxiety they’re feeling over attending an upcoming party. Ideally, when the time actually comes to attend the party, they’ll be less nervous because they had time to process the activity beforehand. Blogging can also allow shy students to express themselves without the stress of a real-time audience. If they choose to vlog (video blog), that can be even more helpful, as it requires speaking relatively spontaneously.

Tag Along with Your Outgoing Friend

Getting support from an outgoing friend can allow timid students to feel more comfortable in settings that might normally cause anxiety. The extroverted student might be able to introduce their shyer friend to a group of new friends, bring them to a social gathering, or give them reassurance as a presentation partner.

Tips for Parents of High Schoolers

Parents can support their high schools by encouraging them to pursue extracurricular activities that enable them to showcase their natural talents. However, if your efforts aren’t yielding the desired results, it might be time to bring in a professional to help. A trained guidance counselor or therapist can support students in overcoming shyness and social anxiety. Additionally, these mental health professionals can help students get to the root of any issues that may be impeding their social development.

As a parent, you likely want to do everything in your power to prepare your child for college success. However, helping students mature means giving them room to grow their confidence. By encouraging high schoolers to be independent, parents can give them a head start on the road to college success.

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Are school systems ready to develop students’ social skills?

by Andreas Schleicher
Director, Directorate for Education and Skills

Successes and failures in the classroom will increasingly shape the fortunes of countries. And yet, more of the same education will only produce more of the same strengths and weaknesses. Today’s students are growing up into a world hyperconnected by digitalisation; tomorrow, they’ll be working in a labour market that is already being hollowed-out by automation. For those with the right knowledge and skills, these changes are liberating and exciting. But for those who are insufficiently prepared, they can mean a future of vulnerable and insecure work, and a life lived on the margins.

In today’s schools, students typically learn individually, and at the end of the school year, we certify their individual achievements. But the more interdependent the world becomes, the more it needs great collaborators and orchestrators. Innovation is now rarely the product of individuals working in isolation; instead, it is an outcome of how we mobilise, share and integrate knowledge. These days, schools also need to become better at preparing students to live and work in a world in which most people will need to collaborate with people from different cultures, and appreciate a range of ideas and perspectives; a world in which people need to trust and collaborate with others despite those differences, often bridging space and time through technology; and a world in which individual lives will be affected by issues that transcend national boundaries.

PISA has a long history of assessing students’ problem-solving skills. A first assessment of cross-curricular problem-solving skills was undertaken in 2003; in 2012, PISA assessed creative problem-solving skills. The evolution of digital assessment technologies has now allowed PISA to carry out the world’s first international assessment of collaborative problem-solving skills, defined as the capacity of students to solve problems by pooling their knowledge, skills and efforts with others.

As one would expect, students who have stronger science, reading or mathematics skills also tend to be better at collaborative problem solving, because managing and interpreting information and complex reasoning are always required to solve problems. The same holds across countries: top-performing countries in PISA, like Japan, Korea and Singapore in Asia, Estonia and Finland in Europe, and Canada in North America, also come out on top in the PISA assessment of collaborative problem solving.

But individual cognitive skills explain less than two-thirds of the variation in student performance on the PISA collaborative problem-solving scale, and a roughly similar share of the performance differences among countries on this measure is explained by the relative standing of countries on the 2012 PISA assessment of individual, creative problem-solving skills. There are countries where students do much better in collaborative problem solving than what one would predict from their performance in the PISA science, reading and mathematics assessments. For example, Japanese students do very well in those subjects, but they do even better in collaborative problem solving. By contrast, students in the four Chinese provinces that took part in PISA did well in mathematics and science, but came out just average in collaborative problem solving. In a nutshell, while the absence of science, mathematics and reading skills does not imply the presence of social and emotional skills, social skills are not an automatic by-product of the development of academic skills either.

All countries need to make headway in reducing gender disparities. When PISA assessed individual problem-solving skills in 2012, boys scored higher in most countries. By contrast, in the 2015 assessment of collaborative problem solving, girls outperformed boys in every country, both before and after considering their performance in science, reading and mathematics. The relative size of the gender gap in collaborative problem-solving performance is even larger than it is in reading.

These results are mirrored in students’ attitudes towards collaboration. Girls reported more positive attitudes towards relationships, meaning that they tend to be more interested in others’ opinions and want others to succeed. Boys, on the other hand, are more likely to see the instrumental benefits of teamwork and how collaboration can help them work more effectively and efficiently. As positive attitudes towards collaboration are linked with the collaboration-related component of performance in the PISA assessment, this opens up an avenue for intervention for schools.

There also seem to be factors in the classroom environment that relate to those attitudes. PISA asked students how often they engage in communication-intensive activities, such as explaining their ideas in science class; spending time in the laboratory doing practical experiments; arguing about science questions; and taking part in class debates about investigations. The results show a clear relationship between these activities and positive attitudes towards collaboration. On average, the valuing of relationships and teamwork is more prevalent among students who reported that they participate in these activities more often. For example, even after considering gender, and students’ and schools’ socio-economic profile, in 46 of the 56 education systems that participated in the assessment, students who reported that they explain their ideas in most or all science lessons were more likely to agree that they are “a good listener”; and in 37 of these 56 systems these students also agreed that they “enjoy considering different perspectives”. So there is much that teachers can do to facilitate a climate that is conducive to collaboration.

Many schools can also do better in fostering a learning climate where students develop a sense of belonging, and where they are free of fear. Students who reported more positive student-student interactions score higher in collaborative problem solving, even after considering the socio-economic profile of students and schools. Students who don’t feel threatened by other students also score higher in collaborative problem solving. In contrast, students who reported that their teachers say something insulting to them in front of others at least a few times per year score 23 points lower in collaborative problem solving than students who reported that this didn’t happen to them during the previous year.

It is interesting that disadvantaged students see the value of teamwork often more clearly than their advantaged peers. They tend to report more often that teamwork improves their own efficiency, that they prefer working as part of a team to working alone, and that they think teams make better decisions than individuals. Schools that succeed in building on those attitudes by designing collaborative learning environments might be able to engage disadvantaged students in new ways.

The inter-relationships between social background, attitudes towards collaboration and performance in collaborative problem solving are even more interesting. The data show that exposure to diversity in the classroom tends to be associated with better collaboration skills.

Finally, education does not end at the school gate when it comes to helping students develop their social skills. It is striking that only a quarter of the performance variation in collaborative problem-solving skills lies between schools, much less than is the case in the academic disciplines. For a start, parents need to play their part. For example, students score much higher in the collaborative problem-solving assessment when they reported that they had talked to their parents outside of school on the day prior to the PISA test, and also when their parents agreed that they are interested in their child’s school activities or encourage them to be confident.

PISA also asked students what kinds of activities they pursue both before and after school. Some of these activities – using the Internet/chat/social networks; playing video games; meeting friends or talking to friends on the phone; and working in the household or taking care of family members – might have a social, or perhaps antisocial, component to them. The results show that students who play video games score much lower, on average, than students who do not play video games, and that gap remains significant even after considering social and economic factors as well as performance in science, reading and mathematics. At the same time, accessing the Internet, chatting or social networking tends to be associated with better collaborative problem-solving performance, on average across OECD countries, all other things being equal.

In sum, in a world that places a growing premium on social skills, a lot more needs to be done to foster those skills far more systematically across the school curriculum. Strong academic skills will not automatically also lead to strong social skills. Part of the answer might lie in giving students more ownership over the time, place, path, pace and interactions of their learning. Another part of the answer can lie in fostering more positive relationships at school and designing learning environments that benefit students’ collaborative problem-solving skills and their attitudes towards collaboration. Schools can identify those students who are socially isolated, organise social activities to foster constructive relationships and school attachment, provide teacher training on classroom management, and adopt a whole-of-school approach to prevent and address bullying. But part of the answer lies with parents and society at large. It takes collaboration across a community to develop better skills for better lives.

Register for a public webinar on Tuesday, 21 November, 4:00 pm (Paris time) with Andreas Schleicher, Director of the OECD Education and Skills Directorate, and Jeffrey Mo, an analyst in the PISA programme.

Follow the conversation on twitter: #OECDPISA

Development of Social Skills in Children (With Examples)

It is common knowledge that social skills are essential for success in school. It may be the most important skill needed for a child in primary school, according to teachers.[1] Social skills also impact a child’s life in adulthood. Social skills can and should be trained from young.

Development of social skills in children can begin at home.

Why are Social Skills Important?

Social skills guide how children interact and adapt to society.

Social skills are related to academic achievement and socio-emotional development. When peers do not accept a child, it takes a toll on his self-esteem and connection with others. This may make them unwilling to attend school or work hard academically.

A child may resort to aggressivesness when faced with difficulties as he lacks in social skills. This occurs when the child does not know how to regulate their behaviour. On the other hand, overly shy and reserved children may find it difficult to make friends. Both of these cases may lead to greater distance between them and their peers.

Ways to Develop Social Skills

Like any other skill, a few children may find it easier to learn social skills. Children learn through modelling, where they observe the social interactions of IMPORTANT adults in their lives. Hence, it is necessary for parents to be bearers of proper social interactions. Children learn best from their parents.

Your child may have specific social skills,which he/she lacks in. Here are a few ways by which you can help your child enhance his/her social skills:

1. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to know understand what the person feels. This process helps a person be thoughtful and kind. Your child will come across friends and strangers going through unpleasant events in life. Their reaction to these situations will impact their social connection.

While teaching your child, you may first ask him/her to suggest a fitting response to such situations by creating scenarios. For example, how will your child respond to a student who gave the wrong answer to a question in class? After hearing their response, you can discuss the solution and suggest an appropriate way to react to the situation. It might be prudent to discuss their reactions or answers instead of rejecting them so as to guide them better.

2. Taking Turns

One way to develop social skills is through play! Children pick up many skills through a game. Engaging your child in play not only builds social interaction but also strengthens the parent-child bond.

When playing with your child, you can emphasise or praise positive actions. Knowing how to take turns is a social skill. You can develop this by teaching him/her how to wait for his turn and share with others while playing with him. Such skill would enhance patience and reinforce empathy. You may also call a few friends over for a playdate to develop this social skill.

3. Holding a Conversation

Maintaining a conversation requires listening skills and excellent attention span. Children also need to learn how to find topics to talk. A common mistake that children (and even adults) make is talking about themselves when there is a pause in a conversation. They could be unaware that this may be uninteresting to the other party. Hence, turn-taking is important here as well so that the other party has a chance to add to the conversation. Turn-taking is the skill of knowing when to start and finish a turn in a conversation. A person will be more willing to converse when they are interested in the topic. Otherwise, they may avoid discussions in the future. Due to the skills needed to hold a conversation, this may be tougher for children who are more impulsive.

You can teach your child to ask questions related to the person instead. This can be a general question like, “Did you like the assembly talk by the Principal today?” By having regular two-way communication with your child,they would be able to master the art of communication in school and even in the work place.

4. Listening Skills

Social skill is learning how to adapt the tone of voice and responses according to the situation. For example, a different tone of voice is used when talking to friends as compared to teachers. Children who are more socially adept understand that a more formal, respectful tone should be used when talking to teachers. They switch to a more casual tone among friends. Not doing so may make the child appear aloof or rude.

You can model this social skill for your children with the way you interact with different people in different situations.

Developing your child’s social skills at home is possible. Don’t worry if your child is shy and reserved or finding it hard to make friends. As parents, you can (1) rehearse scenarios that may occur, (2) give them chances to practice the skills and (3) model behaviour. While it is ideal to develop social skills early, it is never too late to improve them.

ROLE OF SCHOOLS IN THE SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN

Socialization skills play a significant role in determining the success of an individual. Building up these social skills are necessary from a very young age to obtain better results in the future. School is one of the very first social places that we encounter early in life. A child gets to test his/ her social skills in a school also get to experience an excellent social environment through the schools.

Not all students can easily adjust with the other students in the classroom. They might lack specific social skills and may face problems in making friends and interacting with other people. These social skills also substantially affect a child’s confidence, self-esteem and even their leadership skills. A confident person can achieve better results and are also able to create an impact on society.

Teachers play a significant part in enhancing the social skills of the students. The classroom is the best place where students can meet people with different lifestyles, cultures, background and ideologies. They get to learn about other people and their characteristic, but this can only happen if a student is good at socializing. A socially inept student may face many hardships in maintaining an excellent social stand, which may lead to specific problems in their life. Therefore, the school teachers have to observe these short-comings of their students and help them in overcoming them.

Here are a few ways in which the schools can ensure the social development of their child.

Look out for any source of discomfort

The social ability of a student may get affected due to several reasons. Any discomforting situation may significantly impact a child, leading to a feeling of withdrawal and isolation. It is a common observation that a person tries to maintain a distance from any situation that may cause him/ her mental trauma. Therefore, teachers in schools need to address such circumstances. Here are a few things that need to be discussed in the schooling environment:-

Bullying:- This is one of the many causes of mental torture to the students. A child who is under the influence of bullying for more extended periods may develop an isolating nature. They stop interacting with others and start staying very low-key in their personal space. Hence, bullying needs to be confronted and seriously discouraged in schools.

Threatening from the teachers:- Not everybody is of a robust mental stature and may react differently to a particular situation. If a student is not performing up to a teachers expectation, they do not have to be constantly threatened. Not everyone is born with the same ability, and such threats may also lead to added stress in the students. In some cases, they may even start avoiding schools, trying to make different excuses.

Offer guidance

Guidance related to social skill development should be added to the schooling curriculum. Teachers should educate the students about the various social situations and also offer them the necessary knowledge in tackling these situations. These tips can be as simple as telling them how to keep eye contact or how to approach different people. If a child is hesitant in starting a conversation, then give them the tips as to how to break the ice and how to behave in a social environment.

Arrange social events

One way of encouraging social behaviour in the students is by introducing them to various activities. These activities include debates, music, dance, art and craft, elocution etc. They can also include yearbook, editorial and literature club and drama or acting. Teachers can also organize group projects, which help the students in interacting with each other to achieve a common goal. Group and teamwork are great ways of promoting social skills in the students.

Social skills in a boarding school

Social skills become even more relevant when a boarding school is in consideration. Staying away from your family members can be hard for a socially awkward and introverted student. Such students need to build excellent interactive skills to create a better friendly environment for themselves to survive in the atmosphere of a residential school. They need support and help of the friends, teacher and other faculties and to make friends they need to have the necessary and proper social skills. Life of students becomes tough when they lack these communicative skills. They might face many health issues, especially mental health issues if the absence of the companionship caused due to their lackluster social skills.

Therefore, if students lack such skills, then it is the prime duty of the teachers and the faculties to look after them and provide the necessary guidance. They need to be under constant observation and be aided in various social situations.

Boarding schools are a great help to the students in overcoming their social inabilities, and they can thrive better in life.

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