How to find friends

How to Find a Best Friend: 7 Simple Pieces

How to find a best friend using the pieces of advice + the advantages of having new friends + the search of acquaintances in the various social networks?

The best friends are always with you and will always wait for you.

There exist plenty of reasons why people become best friends.

Just continue reading to discover how to find a best friend.

How to find a best friend discussing the beginning of the friendship

If you truly wish to find a real friend, you’d better look for him among the ones you already have.

Almost everybody has some acquaintances, that’s why you should consider the candidature of each of them.

Come up with a plan how to start the conversation rolling.

The conversation about nothing is said to be the initial stage of friendship development.

The topics for such communication are trivial – the weather or profession.

One more approach is to discuss something which is near both of you.

Besides, one may try to introduce himself simply to begin the talk.

Get to know person’s hobbies to discover whether there is an activity with which you may be occupied together and to learn whether you have common interests.

Be certain you really get on well with the person and know his preferences and dislikes, his hobbies, the favored pastime, colors, and so on.

Take an active part in the conversation and avoid being the one who only asks questions and on the contrary.

In case you ask too many questions (or too personal ones), it is sure to irritate some people.

If you have no questions at all, your interlocutor could feel awkward because they’ll have to figure out how to maintain the discussion.

Develop your friendship so that your new friend became the best one

Take his phone number and occasionally call him – one or two times per week, not more.

Do not call the same weekday every time and choose the dates at random and be unexpected.

Present him with some gifts if he has a birthday or any other holiday.

It should not be something big or expensive.

A present which was made with your own hands will be the perfect option.

Write a handwritten letter.

We also understand that it’s easier to write emails or leave messages on Facebook.

However, there is a definite charm in handwritten letters and cards.

It does not only mean you spend some time to pick the proper paper, write on it and send it via post instead of the electronic substitute.

It shows how many thoughts you put in it.

Ask whether you may pay him a visit or how you should do something funny together.

Firstly, you must make sure you’ve known this person for some time.

In case you know each other a day or two and ask to pay him a visit, it will definitely seem strange to your acquaintance.

Some friendships begin easily and it’s not very difficult to develop them.

Others, on the contrary, require more attention and actions.

When you put some efforts to your relations, it just indicates your friendship differs from the rest and you must work to preserve and develop it.

5 reasons to find a best friend

New people in your life open new possibilities both physical and spiritual, personal.

They push you to the new ideas, interests, and hobbies.

For example, you can visit an unusual place where your acquaintance lives or try yourself at the unusual craft on which he is keen.

Friends are able to discover new talents in you and awake the skills you did not even think you have.

In your turn, you will share your kindness and positive attitude to life.

You can start everything with a clean slate with new friends.

Communication with new people will definitely make you leave your comfort zone for some time.

Eventually, it will bring you huge dividends.

It is known that a person actively develops and grows only when he meets something new and unusual.

How to find a best friend on Facebook?

The social network, called Facebook, is very popular and this makes it the easiest way to receive plenty of friends.

If you have no account there, you need to make it and start communicating with others.

There is a bigger possibility you’ll find the common language with a less popular person on this network.

It means he does not have many friends. Otherwise, he simply won’t have time to answer everyone’s questions and messages.

Start your friendship from afar.

You should not write him a long message that you are looking for friends and he might be the right person.

Do not impose yourself on others.

Firstly, you should start leaving comments under his photos, statuses, links he shared, etc.

Perhaps, you’ll start your conversation right in the comments.

Do not forget to put “Like” on the photos you like and share the funny links on your page.

It means you must do everything to show how interesting this person is.

The compliments in the comments are likely to serve you well.

However, spend time not only on his page but on yours, too.

Try to share the most interesting news, pictures, personal photos, interesting thoughts, and events.

How to find a best friend on Twitter?

Nowadays Twitter is considered to be one of the most popular services on the Internet.

Almost all modern people, from the schoolchildren to the worldwide famous Madonna, have it.

Due to its popularity, you’ll easily understand how to find a best friend.

Here you can quickly find acquaintances by the interests, especially if you are fond of something unusual (collecting dry butterflies, learning the history of vampires, studying magic and so on).

In order to have a successful search, it’s quite enough to use the search bar and look for the tweets on the topic which is close to you.

When you discover the interesting personalities, you should follow them at once, adding to your list of news.

When you gather 10-30 people, you must stop and try to read their posts.

Perhaps, you’ll find appealing far from all of them.

When you cross out the half of them, you should continue the search using the same method.

Then you should start watching after them by reading their tweets, making retweets, asking questions, giving some pieces of advice, expressing your thoughts on this or that matter and so on.

You must do everything possible to be noticed as an interesting person who is keen on the same topic.

Within such communication, you should remember to publish your own tweets.

If they are unique and interesting, people are likely to follow and read you, too.

2-4 weeks after such communication you are likely to have 5-15 people who express interest in your profile.

You have a good opportunity to make friends with them.

Write them messages in private and ask to write to you their social accounts or contact information where you could communicate better on the common topics.

How to find a best friend with the same interests?

You can find such best friend not only on the Internet but in the real life, too.

In order to do it, there still exist various clubs and courses where you can go in for dancing, fitness, aerobics, martial arts, modeling, painting and other things.

Here you can meet your new friends.

However, if you find online acquaintances better, we can suggest you registering on the theme websites.

There are websites already devoted to different hobbies and the whole portals where you can communicate in chats and discuss interesting topics.

7 simple pieces of advice on how to find a best friend:

Check whether your friend is always there for you in all kinds of situations – both good and bad.

How to find a best friend?

You surely need time.

Firstly, make a new acquaintance and when you communicate well, do not hurry your relationships as it will only bring harm to you and your friend.

How to Make Friends Online

No matter what’s happening in your life, you will want friends by your side! With the rise of technology, making friends online is a growing and common occurrence. This is especially true and useful if you are someone who is attending online college. That’s why knowing how to make friends online can greatly and positively impact your experience while at an online college, and in general in your life.

When you attend a traditional on-campus school, you will make friends in class, study halls, and at on-campus events. But when you attend an online college, you will need to try new methods to build friendships.

Here are some helpful tips on where and how to establish, grow, and maintain online friendships.

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Where and How to Find New Friends Online

Finding friends online goes hand-in-hand with finding new friends in real life. It still requires that you take part in activities within your community and can evolve said friendships online.

Some places where you can expect to find new friends both in person and online include:

1. Study groups:

Create or join a group for students at your college. Then you can offer to meet for study groups or join already existing study groups.

2. Do things you love in your city:

One of the best ways to make friends is to take part in activities you enjoy. That way, you can meet people with similar interests with whom you can continue the activity. You can leverage online websites to find events you’re interested in, whether that be through social media or checking a gym’s schedule of classes online, for example.

3. Join a group online based on your likes:

Based on your interests and hobbies, try to perform a search online to find a group that shares in your hobby. Then, connect online and set up in-person meetings to perform the interest. For example, you can find people who like to paint online and then set up a wine and paint night!

4. Connect on social media:

From Facebook to Instagram, and Snapchat to Twitter, there are plenty of social media platforms where you can make new friends.

Start a Conversation Online and Next Steps

Once you locate the digital places where you can connect with like-minded and potential friends, the next step is saying hello and making plans. This is where a lot of people struggle because connecting online can feel less personal.

People don’t want to come off as weird or creepy online, so here are some tips on how to start the conversation:

1. Start a conversation that leads to meeting up:

When you join a social media group or group online, start to be active in the group. Like and comment on other people’s posts and then consider posting and sharing yourself. People will start to recognize your name as you recognize theirs. Some people may reach out first, but if not, you can at least begin to build a connection through consistent communication. Then you can take the next step to send a personal message.

2. Send a message to someone you want to get to know:

Once you decide who you want to befriend, send a message! You can reach out by sharing something you related to that they shared and ask a question, or just share your support for something they’ve shared. Then let the conversation unfold naturally.

3. Ask questions to continue conversations:

A good way to keep a conversation going is to ask questions. Most people who want to engage in conversation will ask questions back if they are interested. This will give you a sign to know if there’s something worth growing with them.

Try a Friend Dating App

Like online dating, there are now apps geared towards meeting friends online. There are plenty of options to consider. Take a look at this list and check out those that are calling your name!

FriendMatch: networking that translates into meeting in person

Bumble BFF: networking based on geographic location and more

Friender : networking based on activities you enjoy

Hey!VINA: networking for women

Peanut: networking based on motherhood

Atleto: networking based on sports

Meetup: networking based on interests (and real life activities)

REALU: networking based on location

Nearify: networking based on nearby events

Skout: networking based on unexpected meetings in person

Nextdoor : networking in your community

Meet My Dog: networking for you and your dog

Tips for Making Friends Online

Now that you know how and where to find friends online, you have to master the art of communicating virtually. This consists of creating good profiles, writing sincere messages, choosing who to contact, and keeping conversations interesting.

Consider the following tips and tricks!

1. Avoid mistakes that make you seem needy:

Although most people have their phones on them, they don’t always have time to respond to messages. Try to avoid messaging multiple times in a row if you are not receiving a response. If you seem too eager and demanding for responses or ask to meet too quickly, they may end up pulling back. Go with the natural flow of the conversation and be patient.

2. Keep the conversation flowing:

Focus on your common interests and ask sincere questions.

3. Strengthen the bond:

Rather than asking generic questions, like “what are you studying in school?” ask about the person’s passions and reasons for why they are studying what they chose. Or, even what they dream of doing if money didn’t matter.

4. Craft your online profile:

From choosing a username that gives an explanation of who you are (if it must be different than your actual name) to designing a profile, you want to make sure you give enough information that can draw new friends to you. This comes up most in the About Me section of profiles. Some things to include are: your hobbies, what you’re looking to find on the app, and an inviting line that signals you are happy for people to reach out to you.

5. Choosing who to contact online:

When apps give you the option, you can filter who you want to meet by location, age, gender, interests, and the like. That way, you can search for people based on what you’re hoping to find.

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Choosing the Right Platform to Make Friends Online

With the wide variety of platforms to make friends online, you’ll want to choose one that aligns with your goals. For starters, there are two types of online platforms to consider — reciprocal and nonreciprocal.

These break down as follows:

When looking to benefit from deep connections online, reciprocal platforms tend to perform better because they require the mutual interest from the get go.

Benefits of Online Friendships

Even though the connection is made online, psychologists have found that the emotional and psychological benefits of these friendships equal those of face-to-face relationships. Online friendships are also very useful for those who have social anxiety or are shy. Having the screen as a mediator between the communication can alleviate the anxiety associated with verbal and in-person communication.

For students who attend online college, the online atmosphere that supports friendships allows for students to connect and work together, just like they would if they were geographically in the same place.

Speaking of not being in the same geographic location, online friendships remove that barrier in a meaningful way. This means that because of digital communication, you are now able to make friends from all over the world. Back in the day, this was not such an easy accomplishment!

Are Online Friendships As Meaningful as In-Person Relationships?

The main components of friendship include: freedom to choose, intimacy, and commitment. Online friendships maintain these three things. You have the choice to become friends with or end friendships with whomever you wish. You are able to be intimate through what you choose to share with one another. And, lastly, you can continue your commitment to the friendship by communicating over time.

Keep Your Options Open

When it comes to choosing friends online and using applications, you may narrow down your search to be very specific. You may see things you aren’t looking for and swipe left instead of right on what could potentially have become your next best friend. Sometimes, it pays to keep an open mind when online friendship matching. This is because it can mirror your experience like real life.

Think of this: when you go out in public places, you never know who you will meet. The randomness of new connections is sometimes what makes them all the more worthwhile. As such, you should practice the same open-minded attitude when meeting people online. That way, you can expand your opportunities to meet new people. Only once you get to know them better can you truly assess whether or not it is a relationship worth pursuing or not.

The Bottom Line

Making friends online is equally as important as having friends in real-life. Knowing how to make friends online can change your life!

Online friends can become friends in person or remain digital. Regardless of how or where you meet them online, the depth of your relationship depends on your effort, time, and communication.

Having a strong community of friends will improve your overall quality of life. When you’re attending online university, it is really beneficial to meet people in a similar situation so that you can share thoughts, rely on one another for support, and develop meaningful friendships over time.

At the University of the People, one of the most treasured aspects of our online college experience is that students from all over the world have the opportunity to connect with one another. If you’re interested in learning more about our programs and how you can join a robust and engaged community of learners, request more information here.

How to Make Friends Online (+ Best Apps to Use)

Making friends online can be one of the easiest and most rewarding ways to enrich your social life. But for many, online friendship is just a blank page. In this guide, we got you covered.

Let’s start with a short summary:

How to make friends online

But how do you do this in practice? Let’s dive in.

Sections

Let’s get started!

1. Best apps and websites to make friends online

2. Where and how to find new friends online

To find friends online who are more like you, the first step is to find the right network for you. By choosing a network with like-minded people, you will find more people who interest you, and others will also be more interested in you.

Here are my best tips on where to find like-minded friends online:

A. Smaller communities are almost always better than larger ones

The reason I recommend joining a small community is that it’s a lot easier to make a connection there. In a small community, each member is important to keep the community alive and people will want to include you as much as possible. In a large community, you blend in with the crowd and people might not even recognize you unless you’re a long-time member.

B. Are you interested in gaming with other people online?

Gaming with others online is one of the easiest ways to make friends online. The reason I say it’s easy is because you always have something to talk about – the game you both like. And you can even play it together if it’s an online game!

And if there’s ever a lull in your gaming conversations, you can turn it more personal and get to know your gaming friends.

In almost every game there’s a community you can join. Smaller communities are usually better. Look up if they have a Discord server you can join, or even better, join a clan if it’s a multiplayer game. There are usually groups both for casual and hardcore gamers.

C. Niche interest groups on social media

Personally, I’m really into edible plants and orchids. So, I joined a few local groups about those subjects on Facebook. And I’ve found many friends through these groups that I know would be happy to have me visit them. We could talk about plants all day together.

I’ve done something similar on Instagram, where I have an account only dedicated to one of my interests (plants), and I mostly follow other plant-nerds.

After some time, maybe a few days or weeks, you start getting to know each other by asking questions and liking each other’s pictures.

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Then, if you want to meet, it’s perfectly natural to send them a message and ask them if they would like to eat out together/have a beer and talk about your common interest. I’ll describe it in more detail further down.

D. Mobile apps or websites to find friends online

If you like online dating, this can be a great alternative. It’s fast and easy, but the downside is that it’s also “fast and easy” to just stop responding.

So, there’s an element of rejection here that can be tough to deal with for some. But if you know you can take a couple of “no’s” before you find a new friend, it’s worth a shot.

3. How to start a conversation online that leads to you meeting up

Here are examples of how you can start a conversation on different online platforms and also how to meet up IRL.

A. How to start a conversation in a Facebook niche interest groups

In a Facebook group, the main activity is usually to share pictures or content with the group. Make sure to engage regularly on those pieces of content, leave a like and a comment or question.

The comment can be short and positive, like: “Nice!” or “I love that!”. A question is even better if there’s something you are genuinely curious about in the shared content.

After a few days to a few weeks of being active in the group, you’ll start to recognize people (and they’ll recognize you). That means it’s a good time to take some more initiative.

Often there’s already some sort of regular meetup you can join, but if there aren’t, there are alternatives.

For example, you could arrange a local meeting at a café to discuss your mutual interest for anyone in your group who’s interested. Or you could write privately to someone and ask if they want to meet up and discuss your interest.

B. How to start a conversation on Instagram

Instagram is quite similar to Facebook, but there’s no clear group to follow there. Instead, I recommend you follow people who share some sort of niche interest with you.

For example, I’m into growing my own food, so I follow some local enthusiasts in my city. I regularly like their posts, and leave a reflection or question about it if I come up with anything.

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Now, we know each other a bit better, and it’s only natural to message them (if I want to meet them). So, for example, I could send a message like this:

“Hi, I love what you’ve done with your garden! I’m especially curious about your fig tree. I’d love to visit your garden sometime in the coming weeks if you’re open to it?”

“Hi, I’m so curious about your orchids. Can I buy you lunch this weekend? I’d love to learn more about your collection!”

It doesn’t need to be more complicated like that. Not everyone’s going to say yes, but from my experience, a surprising number of people would LOVE to meet up with someone like-minded.

C. How to start a conversation on Discord

On Discord, you’re usually part of a “chat group”. It could be a large group of several hundred people, or it could be a small group of friends who game together. (I recommend the latter, smaller groups are better to make friends, but large ones can work too.)

So when you’ve joined a group, it’s not so much about starting a conversation. It’s more about participating in the conversations that come up. At first, you can talk mostly about the game your playing and ask for advice on it. But after a while, once you’ve got to know your online gaming friends a bit better, you can start to ask more personal questions.

And from there, you can even invite just one person to play together. It’s a lot easier to get to know someone when it’s just you two. Then you also have lots to talk about the game you play, so the conversation never runs dry.

D. How to start a conversation on a “friend dating”-app or website

After that, you can start reading other people’s profiles to see if you seem to have a lot in common.

When you find someone you like, it’s time to message them. (P.S. Try to message at least 5-10 people to start off, not everyone will be a good match.)

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Here are some examples of how you can start a conversation on a friend dating app or website:

“Hi, how are you? I see we have a lot in common. I would love to get to know you better! Check out my profile and see if we match :)”

“Hello, I see you also love Disney movies. It would be fun to go watch the upcoming new Disney movie together at the cinema. Check out my profile to see if we match 🙂 Have a great day!”

After your first message, they’ll respond if they think you match too and it should be relatively straightforward to set up a meeting after that. You don’t need to chat too much unless you want to because you are both there to meet new friends.

4. 7 mistakes that make you seem needy or desperate in online communication

Many people are afraid of scaring people off because they seem too needy. Here are some of the biggest mistakes I often see.

A. Just throwing out one hook

What I mean by this is that you should try to keep in touch with several potential friends at the same time. That way you don’t get too attached to the outcome of any single one, because there’s always someone else you can meet up or chat with.

It also makes sure you don’t invest far more energy and feelings than the other person. This makes it so that you’re both on equal ground and neither of you feels pressured.

B. Investing more into the relationship than the other person

C. Expecting (or demanding) instant replies

Most people who work or study don’t have time (or energy) to answer their messages within hours of receiving them. Sometimes it can take a couple of days to get a reply, and in most cases, that’s perfectly normal and fine. Especially in new friendships.

The problems start if you get whiny or complain that they don’t reply quick enough. That signals to the other person that you’re needy or very demanding which is a big turn off. It shouldn’t feel like a chore to reply quickly just to avoid conflict.

If you feel anxious that someone isn’t replying, take a step back and focus on other people in your life.

D. Being too eager to meet up

When you’re trying to make friends online, it’s normal to ask if people want to meet up pretty quickly. So never be afraid to ask. But if you get a no or a maybe, take a step back and forget about meeting up for a while.

It can often be better to step back and not push the issue. Let your friend develop more of a desire to meet up with you first. Let them take some initiatives (even if it takes time).

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If you get impatient, ask someone else instead. That way your potential friend who doesn’t want to meet up right now won’t feel pressured into meeting with you. You never want someone to feel pressured to be with you because then they’ll start associating you with that bad feeling of neediness and desperation.

E. Unloading your life story on the other person without any reciprocity

Opening up is good, it’s even essential to form a close connection. But opening up needs to be mutual. If you’re the only one sharing, you are going to feel a lot closer to your friend than they feel close to you.

Make sure you also focus on getting to know the other person and open up more about yourself at an equal pace as they are.

Tip: The opposite mistake (that’s just as common) is to not open up at all. If you relate to that, here’s a great guide on how you can learn to open up to others.

F. Talking too much about yourself

Two of the most important principles to become friends with someone is to make them feel heard and appreciated. If you talk too much about yourself, you deny both those principles.

An easy rule of thumb is the 50/50 rule:

Aim to talk about as much as you listen.

By following the 50/50-rule, you make sure your friend feels heard and appreciated around you.

G. Writing long novel-like answers to your friend

This mistake goes in line with the principle of investing equally much into your online friendship. It’s not wrong to write long answers, but make sure it’s mutual and that your friend is writing about as much.

For example, if your friend replies with a few sentences, and you reply with a small novel, your friend might feel overwhelmed. It demands a lot for them to reply thoughtfully, which they might not have the time or energy for, and then that makes them avoid you or try to cut the conversation short.

My rule of thumb early on in a new friendship is this:

Keep your messages about as long as the other person’s.

That way you build your friendship on an equal basis where you both feel like you’re on the same level. You won’t feel resentful because their replies are too short, and they won’t feel pressured into writing more than they have energy for.

Finally, it’s impossible to win them all. You will get rejected and some relationships will never amount to anything. But all it takes is a deep connection with one person and you got a friend for life.

5. How to make an online conversation more interesting

The secret to making a conversation interesting is to find commonalities. A commonality could be anything from growing up in the same city, to sharing the same passion for role-playing games.

The advantage online compared to real life is that you usually know a lot more about the other person from the start. You can often read their online profile to see what interests you have in common before you even start talking.

Use that information to make your conversations more interesting.

For example, if someone is interested in the same tv-show as you, you can ask:

By focusing on your common interests, the conversation becomes more interesting for both of you. And then, you start getting a connection which we’ll talk more about in the next point.

Click here to read our full guide on how to make interesting conversations.

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6. How to connect and bond with someone online

Here’s a quick trick to make deeper conversation that helps you bond faster.

Instead of asking about the subject, example:
“Where do you live?”

Ask about their relationship to the subject, example:
“What do you think about your place of living?”

By asking about someone’s relationship to the subject, you make a deeper and more meaningful conversation. This is what I call Personal mode. When you’ve switched to personal mode, it gets easier to ask more personal questions which helps you bond even faster.

Note that it’s also important to share equally much about yourself to bond. When you have established a friendship, here are some ideas of fun things you can do with your new friend online.

7. Making an online profile that draws new friends to you

Once you have chosen the social media platform(s) that you will use to make friends online, it’s time to work on your profile. Your profile is an important part of the online friendship process because it is your virtual first impression– it is the first thing people will notice about you and can determine whether they have an interest in developing a friendship with you or not.

Your user name

The first step to creating an interesting profile is your username. Some social media networks require you to use your real name (like Facebook), in which case you have one less thing to worry about.

But on others, such as chat rooms and many apps, your username will be your primary identifier.

A good username is unique and tells other users something about yourself. “PizzaGirl85” is not a very original username because it tells other users nothing more than 1) you probably like pizza (but who doesn’t) and 2) 1985 was probably a significant year for you for some reason.

“SciFiAdam” is an example of a more unique and interesting username because 1) it tells other users you’re interested in science fiction, which will draw other science fiction fans to you, and 2) your name is Adam, which distinguishes you from other science fiction fans/users with “sci-fi” in their usernames.

Another tip on usernames is this: If you use or plan to use multiple sites or apps, it can be a good idea to keep the same username across the different networks. Since your username is your “Internet name,” consistency between platforms will make you recognizable and can help other users who may also use multiple sites identify you more easily (which will increase your chances of being befriended by them).

Once you have chosen a username, most sites and apps will give you the opportunity to write a bio or “About Me.” Always take advantage of the “About Me” feature. On the surface, the “About Me” section is simply a place to tell people about yourself, but in reality, this section is your “sales pitch” to potential friends.

If someone is drawn to your profile from your username or posts you’ve made in chat rooms/other online social spaces, your “About Me” will let them know if you have enough in common to make getting to know you worthwhile.

5 tips for how to write a good online profile to make friends online

Here is an example of an “About Me” (from our co-author, Amanda):

“My name is Amanda Haworth, and I’m 24 and married with two dogs and a cat. I love anything to do with words, and my passion for reading and writing, as well as my fascination with human psychological development, is what led me to be a teacher specializing in the early childhood years.

In addition to expressing myself through writing, I also love to express myself through other forms of creativity such as painting, sewing, and crocheting. I’m interested in pretty much anything your grandma likes (call me an old soul)– woolen socks, a fresh pot of coffee, card games, movies taking place in the WWII era, and really thick books.

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I’m an introvert, but I enjoy having in-depth conversations with new people and would love to meet some other women in my age group to share life with! Feel free to send me a message if you want to chat :).”

Once you have your username and your “About Me,” the next step is to reach out and find your friends!

8. Choosing who to contact online

Having a great social media profile will definitely help attract new people, but when it comes to making friends, you can’t just sit back and wait for them to come to you. Now it’s time to learn how to reach out and initiate contact with people you’re interested in befriending.

Most social media networks will offer some sort of “people search” that includes filters to help you narrow down your results. These filters typically consist of the general location where users reside, their approximate distance from your location, and their gender, and some networks provide the option to also filter by marital status, age, and other factors. Using these search filters to narrow your results will help you save a lot of time when looking for friends online.

In addition to searching for people to befriend, you also need to have an active presence in the site/app you are using.

When you first join the group/chat room/etc., make a post introducing yourself to the others. You will likely get some welcoming comments, and this is an easy way to kickstart your search for friends.

Next, maintain your presence in the virtual social sphere. If it’s a chat room, get involved in the discussions! If you’re joining a Facebook group pertaining to one of your interests, post friendly and encouraging comments on people’s pictures and posts, and make posts of your own that share your own work related to the group’s topic.

For example, if you are a member of a Facebook group for musicians in your area, comment on a video of someone playing their guitar and say, “Great job! You’re really talented,” or “Wow! I really enjoyed that! Keep it up!”

If you strike up a good conversation with someone in the group/chat room/etc., send him or her a friend request (if the site/app you are using doesn’t offer friend requests, send a direct message to continue/expand your conversation outside of the public forum).

It’s a good idea to include a personal message when sending a friend request to someone you don’t know in real life. This will allow you to explain who you are and why you’re adding them as a friend. Your message can go something like this:

“Hey [name], I’m also a member of [name of Facebook group] and I’ve really enjoyed seeing your posts about [topic]. I also love [topic] and I’d love to chat with you some more about it!”

When you begin having conversations about a specific topic in this way, often you will find that you and that person have other things in common as well. Your conversation will naturally branch off into other areas, and pretty soon you will find that you have a great new friend.

Click here for more tips on making conversation.

By choosing the best social media network for your needs, developing an interesting profile, and initiating contact with other users, you can quickly and easily meet many new people–both near and far–who share similar interests, values, opinions, and more.

9. How to choose the right platform to make friends online

As the Internet has increased in popularity, the number of social media networks has increased as well. Many have been short-lived (think MySpace and Vine), while others seem to be here to stay (like Facebook and Twitter).

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Believe it or not, some social media networks are more conducive to making friends online than others, and researchers have already done the work for us to determine what those networks are.

A reciprocal social media network is one that promotes mutual friendship instead of allowing one person to have access to, or “follow”, the other person without requiring the other person to “follow” back.

Twitter and Instagram are two examples of non-reciprocal social media networks. Both platforms allow a user to follow a person, but the person being followed may not necessarily follow back. This is great for allowing people to keep up with celebrities and political figures, but not so great for someone who is looking to develop meaningful online friendships.

Facebook, on the other hand, is reciprocal because when someone accepts a friend request both parties instantly have access to one another’s profiles and information.

According to one study on close-knit friendships developed through social networking sites, the level of reciprocity (or the two-way, mutual friendship requirement) of the site will impact the success of the friendships formed through the site.5

The other thing to look for when choosing a social media platform for making friends online is the site’s interactivity.

According to Desjarlais and Joseph, “For socially interactive technologies, messages are directed to a specific person and conversing typically occurs in real time (e.g., text and instant messaging). Such online conversations resemble [face-to-face] interactions but in a text-based form.”3

In other words, the social networking sites that are most conducive to forming new friendships will allow you to communicate with people in a way that is as similar to “real life” communication as possible.

This is opposite of socially passive technologies, which promote much longer delays between responses (such as email and direct messaging) and do not mimic face-to-face interaction as closely. It was found that these types of social technologies are much less likely to be used in forming close online friendships– or, at the very least, will significantly slow down the development of the friendship.

10. The benefits of online friendships

We all know that friendships are good for our health. But according to a study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, friendships formed on social networking sites can have the same emotional and psychological benefits as face-to-face friendships.1

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Online friendships have been found to be particularly beneficial for people who struggle with shyness, social anxiety, or a lack of confidence in their own social skills. While these people may avoid face-to-face social settings that would provide the opportunity to make friends, the Internet provides a “safer” social setting in which alternative friendships can be formed.

In this article by Arti Patel for Global News, therapist and friendship researcher Miriam Kirmayer supports the use of the Internet to develop lasting friendships. “It can be easier to reach out, introduce yourself, and get a friendship off the ground when you know that the other person is also looking to make new friends,” she says.

According to another study, “The high sense of control and reduced social threat during online interactions have been indicated as reasons why [people] may want to find online friends.”2

But you don’t have to be shy to look to the Internet for friendship. Many people have busy schedules that prevent them from getting as much face-to-face social interaction as they would like, and others live in small towns with few people to choose from as potential friends.

“It can become increasingly difficult to make friendships as we age,” says Kirmayer. “Often times, it is a practical issue. Our schedules are busy. We are short on time. As we try to balance the various relationships and responsibilities that we have, our friendships are often the first thing to go.”

Making friends online is one way to solve the issue of time that can prevent us from developing close social relationships.

Another benefit of online friendship is the ability to make friends from different parts of the world, whom you would likely never have the opportunity to meet were it not for the Internet.

Says Ellie Larson in this blog post for A Beautiful Mess, “I think the reason [online friendships] are often MORE successful is because what’s bringing you together are common interests and passions, not proximity.”

In addition, social skills that are developed and used in the formation of online friendships (such as rapport building, making conversation, and self-disclosure) are transferable to face-to-face social settings as well.

One study found that “When using [social networks], individuals may improve upon their self-disclosure skills, including what, how much, and when to disclose personal information, which then transfers to offline interactions with peers…[this] in turn enhances the quality of existing close friendships.” (3)

11. Are online friendships as real as face-to-face friendships?

For many people, the biggest concern when it comes to attempting online friendship is the issue of whether or not online friendships are as real as face-to-face friendships. A study done by ethnographer Denise M. Carter over the course of three years proves that they are.

According to sociologist Anthony Giddens, whom Carter references extensively, the three components of friendship are:

Freedom refers to the concept that friendships are chosen, unlike kinship ties which are determined by birth. Commitment is the idea that your mutual bond will withstand trials throughout time, and intimacy is the bond of trust that makes people comfortable sharing personal information (such as their secrets, struggles, and hopes for the future) with one another.

While many people question whether these three components – especially intimacy – can truly be developed online, Carter’s study shows that they can.

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In fact, she says, the Internet makes it easier to develop intimate friendships because people are not bound by the social and cultural norms that may influence their face-to-face friendships, such as socioeconomic status and social hierarchy. In addition, it can be easier to open up to people online because of the security in knowing they are unable to break your confidence by sharing it with mutual acquaintances.(4)

Consider online therapy

Online therapy allows you to speak to a licensed therapist in the comfort of your home.

Ask yourself these questions to find out if online friendship is for you:

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then online friendship may greatly benefit your social life. Keep reading to find out exactly how to do it.

Are online friendships a good option for you? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

References

Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. He manages SocialSelf’s scientific review board. Follow on Twitter or read more.

10 Tips To Make New Friends

This article is available for download as a free PDF ebook. Click the button below to download.

“Hi Celes, I have a small group of friends as I’m a shy person. I’m not really confident enough to go out and meet new people. I would like some advice on how I can meet new people and get more friends.” — John

Making new friends can be intimidating, but it’s definitely rewarding. After all, friends form a big part of our life for most of us. They are the ones who walk through life together, share our ups and downs, and pains and joys. Without friends, life wouldn’t be the same at all. We wouldn’t be who we are if not for them.

If you are looking to make new friends, you have to get clear on what kind of friends you want to make. Broadly speaking, there are 3 types of friends:

Most of us are looking to make regular friends and if possible, true, soul friends. We probably have a lot of hi-bye friends — more than we can count. The ratio of my hi-bye friends, normal friends, and true, soul friends is about 60-30-10%. Over the years as I meet more and more people, it has become more like 75-20-5%. I suspect it’s about the same for other people too, with a variance of about 5-10%.

No matter whether you just want to make normal or best friends, you can do that. You may not believe it, but I was a very quiet and secluded girl back during my primary and secondary school years. When I was in junior college, I maintained this seclusive lifestyle, though I began to speak up more. Entering university and later on P&G (my ex-company) made me more sociable. Today I run my blog and coach others through 1-1 coaching and workshops where I share a lot of my life to others. If the younger me had wondered what I would be like in the future, I wouldn’t never have thought that I would be as outward and expressive as I am today.

If you take a look at the people out there who seem to make friends easily, they were probably seclusive themselves at some point. Their social skills were likely all picked up over time. For this same reason, you can learn to become more sociable through time and practice.

Here are my 10 personal tips to get new friends:

1. Realize your fear is in your head

The first step is to develop a healthy mental image of meeting new people. Some of us see meeting new people as a scary event. We are concerned about making a good impression, whether the other person will like us, how to keep the conversation going, and so on. The more we think about it, the scarier it seems. This initial apprehension develops into a mental fear, which takes a life of its own and unknowingly blocks us from making new friends. Shyness towards others is actually a result of fear.

Actually, all these fears are just in our head. If you think about it, 99% of people are too busy being concerned about these very things themselves to pay attention to you. While you’re worried about the impression you make, they are worried about the impression they will make. Truth be told, they are just as scared as you are. The remaining 1% are people who recognize that a relationship is built on way stronger values than specific words or things said/done during just one encounter. Even if there are people who do judge you based on what you do/say, are these people you want to be friends with? I think not.

2. Start small with people you know

If you haven’t been socializing much, meeting a whole bunch of new people may seem intimidating. If so, start small first. Lower the difficulty of the task by starting with your circle of friends, i.e. people you are familiar with. Some ways to do that:

3. Get yourself out there

Once you reconnect with your circle of friends, the next step is to meet people you don’t know.

4. Take the first step

Once you are out there with people around you, someone has to make the first move. If the other party doesn’t initiate a talk, take the first step to say hello. Get to know each other a little better! Share something about yourself, and then give the other party a chance to share about him/her. Something easy, like asking how the day is, or what they did today / in the past week is a great conversation starter. Once the ice is broken, it’ll be easier to connect.

5. Be open

a) Be open-minded. Don’t judge.

Sometimes you may have a preset notion of the kind of friend you want. Maybe someone who is understanding, listens, has the same hobbies, watches the same movies, has similar educational background, etc. And then when you meet the person and realize that he/she differs from your expectations, you then close yourself off.

Don’t do that. Give the friendship a chance to blossom. More importantly, give yourself a chance with this budding friendship. I have several very good friends who come from totally different backgrounds, and I would never have thought that we would be so close when I first knew them, simply because we are so different. A good number of my ex-clients are people whom I’d never meet in normal circumstances given our diverse backgrounds, yet we get along extremely well, just like good friends.

b) Open your heart

On the same note, open your heart to the person. This connection between you and the other party can only begin when your heart is open. This means to be trusting, have faith, and believe in the goodness of others. You can’t form any new connection if you mistrust others or you are fearful that things won’t work out. It’ll send the wrong vibes and cause them to close off their hearts to you too.

When I make new friends, I open myself fully, with full faith that they are good people, with good hearts and good intentions. I notice that because I do that, it has helped me foster a lot of genuine relationships which are built on trust, love and faith. These meaningful relationships wouldn’t be possible if I had closed myself off at the onset. One simple example is how I open myself to all of you fully on my blog, and in return, I attract readers who are genuine, supportive, and kind. I’m not sure about other communities online, but I know Personal Excellence readers exude authenticity and love. I know that because I can feel the warmth from all of you whether in your emails, comments, or messages. 🙂

6. Get to know the person

A friendship is about both you and the other person. Get to know the person as an individual. Here are some questions to consider:

7. Connect with genuinity

Often times we are too caught up with our own concerns — such as what others will think of us, what we should say next, what our next action is — that we miss the whole point of a friendship. You can work on the presentation aspects such as how you look, what you say, and how you say things, but don’t obsess about them. These actions don’t (truly) define the friendship. What defines the friendship is the connection between you and the friend.

Show warmth, love, and respect towards everyone you meet. Do things because you want to, and not because you have to. Care for them like you would yourself. If you approach others with genuinity, you will attract people who want to connect genuinely. Among them will be your future true friends.

8. Be yourself

Don’t change yourself to make new friends. That’s the worst thing you can do. Why do I say that?

Say you make many new friends by being vocal and brassy. However, your normal self is quiet and introverted. What happens then? It may be great initially to get those new friends, but the friendship was established with you being an extrovert. That means either:

So, just be yourself. That way, potential new friends will know you as you, and they’ll use that to decide if they want to take the friendship a step further. I don’t think there’s a need to be outward and articulate like Tony Robbins to get friends. It’s all about being you. The truest friendships are built with both parties accepting each other for who they are.

9. Be there for them

A friendship is a supportive union between two people. Be there for your friends where you can. Does any of your friends need help currently? Is there anything you can help them with? How can you better support them?

When you help your friends, don’t do so with the expectation of being helped next time. Rather, help unconditionally. Treat them with emotional generosity. Give because you want to, not because you feel obliged to. I find that the satisfaction I get from helping others and knowing they are better off is a reward greater than anything I can get in return.

10. Make the effort to stay in touch

At the end of the day, continual effort is required to maintain the friendship. Willingness to make the effort is what differentiates great friends from hi-bye friends. Ask your friends out every once in a while. Depending on the intensity of the friendship, there’s no need to meet up every few days or once a week — catching up once a month or once every few months might be sufficient. The strength of your relationship is not measured by how frequently you meet. For some of my best friends, we meet only once every few months. Yet, there’s never any doubt that we’re closely connected and we will be there for each other when needed.

If both of you have your own set of engagements, it may be hard to find time together. Arrange for a simple meetup, say over lunch, tea, or dinner time. Or you can always catch up over text messages, online chat, or phone calls. Technology has made communication so easy that it’s difficult not to stay in touch.

I hope you’ve found these 10 tips useful. 🙂 Which can you apply to make new friends right away?

Here are some skills that’ll be useful as you meet new people:

Check out my other articles on friendships:

Get the manifesto version of this article: The Guide To Making New Friends [Manifesto]

How to Know when It’s Time to Find New Friends

This article was co-authored by Tala Johartchi, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA. Dr. Tala Johartchi is a Clinical Psychologist based in the Los Angeles, California metro area. With expertise and advanced training in Evidence-Based Practices and therapeutic/behavioral frameworks, Dr. Johartchi specializes in working with individuals, couples, and families experiencing Substance Disorders, Love Addiction and Codependency, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well as common co-occurring disorders such as Depression, Anxiety, and Relational/Attachment difficulties. She earned an MA and PsyD in Clinical Psychology from The American School of Professional Psychology at Argosy University, San Francisco.

There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, several readers have written to tell us that this article was helpful to them, earning it our reader-approved status.

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Your friends are really important to you and have a major impact on your wellbeing, so you likely want to keep your friendships strong. However, sometimes friends can become toxic or might grow apart from you. If you’re feeling like it’s time to find new friends, it’s likely a sign that something is wrong in your relationships. To figure out if your friends are right for you, look for signs of a healthy friendship and red flags that your friends are toxic. Then, you might try finding new friends.