How to practice child love

The Importance Of Teaching Children Self-Love

What happens when a child is raised receiving the messages that they are in some way not good enough, not deserving, and possibly unlovable?

Most of us, at one time or another, have experienced teasing, hurtful comments, even ridicule from siblings or peers or perhaps a caregiver.

What happens when a child grows up in this environment and believes that they have no other choice, but to simply accept the damaging, derogatory, and even abusive words that are spoken from their loved ones?

I’m going to tell you about a client’s journey from suffering to empowerment and how you can help those you love the most believe in themselves, live confidently and self-assured — knowing that they have much to offer the world.

Would you rather hear Dorothy Ratusny talk about this powerful and eye-opening journey? Listen to the audio version:

The Longterm Damaging Effects Of Children’s Self-Loathing

So, I begin with two questions for you:

When is it okay to accept hurtful comments and words from our loved ones?

And could there be any justifiable reason for someone to look the other way, to ignore the hurtful and disparaging comments and the lack of consideration and kindness that we all deserve?

For much of Janet’s life, she could remember how her siblings were ungrateful, rude, hurtful, and, at times, aggressively mean and vengeful. Janet did her best to stay out of the conflict and pettiness that her other siblings engaged in, but the truth was she had received unkind and hurtful words from both of her parents throughout much of her childhood.

Janet’s father teased her about her weight, often saying, “You could be pretty, except you are so big.” And her mother blatantly favored one of her sisters who got the skinny gene, saying to Janet, “You can’t possibly wear the same pretty clothes as your sister. Your body is too big, and you won’t look good.”

It may not surprise you to learn that Janet struggled with a weight issue for all of her adult life. As a child, she weighed a normal and healthy weight — at least until the teasing and hurtful comparisons began…

My client Janet happens to be model-tall, she stands over 6 feet, and her height dictates the density and structure of her bones. This was no doubt overlooked, unaccounted for in the numbers that were revealed on the scale.

We can cultivate an eating disorder and body image issues in mostly anyone if we begin, at an early age, to tease and mock them about how unnatural or unattractive they look.

The truth is that Janet could easily have been a model, for her height and features are stunning. Years of self-loathing and ridicule by those that could have instead loved her for her unique physical qualities and beauty were strong contributors to a life in which she often felt tormented, rather than one that may have evoked confidence and self-worth.

We need to keep reminding ourselves and teaching our children that beauty is far from what we see at the surface.

You might also want to read about six ways that can stop the negative body image epidemic within our society.

The Guilty Pressure Of Satisfying Demands

Before Janet and I had begun working together, it would be unheard for her to speak her mind to her boss or her siblings, especially when unrealistic demands were made of her.

Now Janet would frequently reassert her boundaries saying “No” wherever it is appropriate, but admitting that she is still struggling with doing far more than what is often reasonable or expected of her at work.

And as in the case with her devotion to her younger sister Karen who was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer: While her other siblings would visit once weekly, Janet took it upon herself to give up some of the important and healthy practices of her own life in order to dote on her sister When Janet put her life on hold to be at the hospital each day with her sister, it was admittedly out of guilt more than love.

By Janet’s description, Karen was ungrateful. According to her, Karen never once thanked her for going immediately to the hospital each day after work, for staying all evening, every evening, and sometimes sleeping overnight in the hospital room, just so that Karen didn’t have to be alone.

When we teach our children that it is okay to expect much of them, and if we are demanding to the point of making them accountable to our happiness as parents, then we raise children who only know their value through the worth that others place on them.

Janet had a difficult time to validate her worth based on her feelings of self-adequacy and competence. She continues to overachieve at work, doing far more than what was expected of her, because it was one certain way that she could feel positive affect and to be approved of.

With her siblings, it was a different story since they were never satisfied and what she did was never enough. This was how they were able to continue to demand things of Janet and how her guilt became the motivator for the endless support and devotion she gave to Karen and her other siblings.

About Unhealthy, Unreachable Standards & Codependency

Janet admitted to me that she spent all those hours in a hospital with Karen — tending to her every need — because she did not want to ever have to live with the consequences that she might have done more to help if Karen had died.

When we mistreat others or diminish their worth, we can create codependency whereby others look to us for their sense of esteem and for feeling good enough.

We would never want our children to grow up looking at others to feel worthy and receive approval.

We may realize that the pressure we place on our children for having certain standards of intelligence, beauty, competency in a specific skill or talent, and if we judge them as somehow different or less than what we would deem as good enough, we can create much damage.

Parents need to consider what standards they teach their children. Are they unrealistic ideals or power messages emphasizing the uniqueness?

Read more: Mental health rates are on the rise for young people. Learn more about the impact of social media on youth mental health.

Teaching Children To Develop Self-Love, Self-Esteem & Confidence

Because I often work with adults who have lived a lifetime of hearing comments and criticism that has damaged their self-worth, I can tell you just how important it is to teach your children how to see and know their beauty, their strength, their intelligence, and their abilities for success, as a monumental aspect of helping them develop their self-esteem.

I cannot stress enough to parents who may themselves be caught up in the cycle of comparing themselves to what they depict is the standard to aspire to, and to have them rethink their values and what they are demonstrating as normative behavior for their children.

For parents who struggle themselves with what is beautiful, attractive, and good enough; please consider the standards that you are choosing to set for your child because of what you already believe in.

And yes, it is true — you likely adopted your beliefs from what you heard read, saw, and were taught by your caregivers. It’s a cycle that continues repeating itself until someone (hopefully this will be you ) chooses to make a change in what they believe and what they live by.

Because, ultimately, you want to get off the roller coaster ride of always striving towards an unlikely ideal and the critical self-talk that was never your own.

When you choose to set your standards for what you will believe in and for what is right and best for who you are, it allows you the freedom to pursue your happiness by what standards are really your own.

You cultivate authentic happiness by teaching your children to appreciate their unique and special talents and strengths.

Childhood is foundational and transformational regarding personality and perception of the world. Practicing meditation beneficially affects the emotional, intellectual and mental development of children. Discover our large collection of meditation for kids.

Learn Self-Acceptance From The Non-Judgmental Eyes Of Your Children

Likely, your children will teach you much about self-acceptance as you observe them explore, be creative, use their imagination, play, and express themselves in the world in a way that allows them to be at their best.

Parents can learn a lot about self-acceptance from children.

If you want to adopt new ways of thinking and feeling about yourself, it might be wise to use these same fresh eyes in seeing who you are. Never comparing, just seeing your beauty, attractiveness, intelligence, resilience, and so much more.

If you wish to improve parts of yourself, let it be because you want to feel even better about who you are, and perhaps because these areas, once improved, will allow you to feel more special, intelligent, confident, and proud; and not because you have some ideal based on what another person has said you should do.

Guilt Can Still Be A Motivator Sometimes

Is it okay to do something out of guilt rather than love? It’s okay.. Although, it’s not ideal. I think, by now, you can understand how Janet’s decisions to do all that she could for her sister were fueled primarily out of guilt and the impending doom of what criticism and hurtful words she would have to take from Karen if she did not do enough.

What was remarkable and optimistic for Janet was her ability to have boundaries in place during this most difficult time and to be strong-willed enough to remind Karen that she could easily walk out of the hospital and home to her family, who hadn’t really seen much of her for the last several months, if Karen’s aggressive and unkind words continued. This seemed to work for a while since Karen began to get the message — even though she never expressed a “thank you” to her older sister.

Regain Your Power

You can always teach others how to treat you, no matter how long it has been that they have been unkind or even abusive. You can stand your ground to others and politely, firmly, and perhaps with an injection of humor, speak your truth.

You can also begin to see your worth as something that is not based on whether you are skinny enough, or beautiful by certain standards, or superior in intelligence. You can rather honor a path that you determine is right and best for who you are — based on liking, and eventually loving yourself, wholly and completely, because ultimately you are more than enough.

(The names of my client Janet and others have been changed to maintain confidentiality. Additional details or circumstances may have also been altered, to ensure their utmost privacy.)

Let your self-love, confidence, inner wisdom and self-acceptance flourish with the help of these handpicked meditations led by Dorothy Ratusny herself:

Discover all guided meditations and talks by Dorothy Ratusny.

Everyday Practices to Make Your Child Feel Loved

Your children need your love, time, and undivided attention. As a parent, you’re likely to be the most significant influence in their lives — it’s up to you to help them to feel secure and build their confidence.

Habits and rituals that become a regular part of your family life will have the most impact. Even on your busiest days, you can show your child that you care during your ordinary, everyday activities.

Consider the following ideas to integrate into your regular routines to make your child feel loved and valued:

1. Be attentive. Actively listen when your child wants to talk to you. Show that you’re listening by stopping what you’re doing and maintaining eye contact. Share their enthusiasm about what they’re discussing, even if the subject is about insects, or a movie you’ve both watched a hundred times. If you’re not able to put down what you’re doing, let your child know and be sure to follow up on the conversation later in the day when you can provide undivided attention.

2. Show affection. Give your child hugs and kisses on the cheek on a regular basis. Physical contact will help you bond with your children. According to Child Trends, a non-profit research organization, studies show that higher self-esteem, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavior problems have been linked to warmth and affection between a parent and their child.

3. Provide genuine praise. When it comes to praising your child, quality is more important than quantity. Let your child know that you’re proud of him or her for making an effort, regardless of the outcome. The key is not to praise your child for everything they do, but to recognize when they do something out of the ordinary, or when they are working hard towards achieving a goal.

4. Ask for help. Enlist your child’s help with chores and give him or her a chance to teach you how to do things, too. Ask them to set the dinner table, take out the trash, or walk the dog. Tell your child that you appreciate the part they play in keeping your house running smoothly. Thank him or her for explaining a new slang word or showing you how to use popular apps they may be using, such as Snapchat.

5. Go for a drive. Make your errands more meaningful by inviting your child to join you. While it may take you a little longer to complete your to-do list, the one-on-one time and conversations along the way are well worth it.

6. Create bedtime rituals. The time spent preparing for sleep is an ideal opportunity to unwind and connect. Snuggle together and share your favorite books. Create stories based on your real-life experiences. Take turns sharing something specific that happened that day for which you are thankful.

7. Enjoy family meals. Research indicates that there are physical, mental, and emotional benefits of having regular family meals. Having dinner together is another chance to spend some uninterrupted, quality time as a family. Make it a rule that mealtimes are device-free so there are no distractions. Kids feel important and valued when their parents show sincere interest in their child’s day, ask questions, and share as appropriate about their own day.

Fun Activities to Make Your Child Feel Special:

Thoughtful surprises and occasional treats also help a child to feel important. There are many ways to brighten up your child’s day without having to spend a lot of money.

Try these ideas:

1. Send “snail mail.” Receiving physical mail from someone is so rare these days that anything you send may feel special. Write a letter to your child and mail it for their birthday or send a “Just Because” card to show you care — this is something they’ll never forget.

2. Plan outings. Short trips can give you more quality time together as a family and help your child to continue learning outside of the classroom. Visit a museum in your neighborhood, and discuss what you experienced. Go to your town library. Encourage your child to pick out a few books that you can read together later that evening.

3. Celebrate holidays. Establish family traditions for Thanksgiving and Christmas and any other holidays that are meaningful to you. Even simple practices such as baking a favorite dessert together can create lasting memories.

Making your children feel loved and valued will help them to grow up to be happy and responsible adults. Treasure your time together and create memories that you’ll both enjoy for years to come.

15 Small Things Parents Should Do To Their Children Every Day To Make Them Feel Loved

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health. Read full profile

Can you remember what made you feel loved as a kid? Think about it. Maybe you remember having a great time with your parents, holidays, being helped with homework or just telling them a few secrets. As a parent now, are you making the effort to make your kids feel loved? Very often, it is the small things that count. Here are 15 ways to make your kids feel loved. When you become grandparents, you will be touched that they still remember them.

1. Turn off your smartphone.

When you get home or your kids get back from school, turn off your phone and give them your full attention at least for the first half hour or so. The kids love this because they know you are not going to be distracted by texts as they tell you what happened at school. The Swedish government did a poll and discovered that 33% of kids complained that their parents were always on their smartphones.

2. Turn off the TV and all gadgets at mealtimes.

Not much fun when kids have to compete with TV commercials or everybody texting away. Mealtimes are rare moments to enjoy each other’s company. There are enormous advantages for kids. They eat more healthily as it is not rushed. They also enjoy the companionship of their parents and they are much less likely to have an eating disorder later on.

3. Make bedtime a precious moment.

With younger kids, they will always treasure those moments when you read them a story as they drift happily into sleep. It is enormously reassuring and it is a unique bonding experience for parents and kids. The extra bonus is that this also helps your child’s brain development.

4. Show physical affection.

Countless studies show that kids thrive on warmth and affection. The child feels loved and will have a greater self-esteem. There is no need to go overboard but a kiss or a hug once a day will do you both a lot of good. It lessens the chances of your kids becoming aggressive, anti-social and having other behavioral problems. While adolescents might be embarrassed at the physical affection, there should always be words of support and empathy to take its place.

5. Spend quality time with each child.

It is wonderful when a parent or both parents can spend quality time on a one-on-one basis with their kids. This is great because they feel special and their brothers and sisters are not around. It can be anything from playing sports, cooking, or helping with chores. There is no better way of showing your kids that you really love and cherish them.

6. Discipline them with love and affection.

There are still parents who believe that beating a kid is probably the most effective and time saving way of dealing with discipline. The kid learns that violence is an effective way of dealing with disagreement and conflict. The key to successful parenting is not to switch on the love when they do well and deny it when they misbehave. There are no conditions but just a steady flow of affection so that kids feel their parents’ love is truly unconditional.

7. Leave funny and affectionate notes and messages.

It can be a text or a little note tucked under their pillow. It can be a joke, an affectionate nickname or anything that shows the kids they are still on your radar.

8. Look into their eyes.

The best way of communicating with your kids is to look them straight in their eyes as you talk to them. Eye contact is so important in this age when everyone is glued to some computer, device or phone. The child can learn to wait until he or she has your full attention but this is worth waiting for. It is also a great lesson to teach a child that eye contact is a very important social skill as they get older.

9. Smile more often.

What better way of showing your love and warmth for your children than smiling every time they come into the room. This immediately puts them at ease and also confirms that their presence is valued and that they are not a nuisance. There may be times when they will need to be reminded about bad behavior but why not use the other 90% to show that you love them?

10. Be a great role model.

How many times have you told your kids what to do, how to be polite and to always wear their seat belt? Oftentimes, parents forget that they must be the perfect role models because children are great copycats. No better way to show that you love your kids than to walk the talk. Be kind, affectionate and caring to others and teach your kids to be color-blind about race.

11. Involve them in decision making.

What to wear for school the next day or where to visit when you go on holidays can be decided together with your kids. Make sure your kids are fully involved and engaged. It is also great for kids to start learning how to make decisions with their parents’ guidance.

12. Just play with them.

When kids were interviewed, they often said that they felt there was far too much going on and that they were overscheduled. They really want some downtime with their parents where they can just play, have fun, laugh and be together. It might be a good idea to cut out one or two activities so that you just do not end up being their chauffeur!

13. Take action when your child is unhappy.

There may be problems at school with bullying or with the sports coach. Show that you care and ask to see the people involved and just try to find out what is the cause of the tension and unease. It may well be the child’s fault but when it is not, there is an ideal opportunity to show that you are there for them and you will be their champion. You can do practical things like participating in a bully prevention program at your kids’ school and also teaching your child how to react when bullied.

14. Save the cards and gifts.

When your child gives you a note, funny drawing or little poem, show that you care by treasuring them. Put them in a special drawer or folder. Show the child a photo of where you keep a favorite picture in your office. You can take digital photos of the artwork and store them on a photo sharing site. Show your kid the results at regular intervals. It gives the child a great sense of achievement It also saves loads of precious storage space at home.

15. Never interrupt their stories.

When a child has a story to tell about what happened at school never interrupt them but hear them out. The same goes when they want to share a book with you or show you a picture story. They will feel loved and wanted. If parents ignore them or are far too busy, kids will be the first to suffer and it is likely to last into adolescence and adulthood unless we really make the effort now.

Love and affection are the foundation of happiness. By showing kids this love every single day, we are giving them the greatest gift of all.

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” – Aristotle

How did your parents show their love for you? Let us know in the comments.

18 Genius Ways to Make Kids Love Reading

These tricks should get your kids reading on their own in no time!

In addition to picturing my children being impeccably mannered, perfectly behaved angels, I also envisioned them devouring books the way I did as a child. My son would tear through the Hardy Boys and Harry Potter while my daughters fell in love with Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary, and The Baby-Sitters Club series. But like most of my parenting fantasies, this one hasn’t quite come true yet.

Apparently this is not uncommon. «We want to get kids reading, but they are under increasing pressure to do so, and it can overshadow the joy of this wonderful shared activity,» says Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed.D., a professor emerita at Lesley University, in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and the author of Taking Back Childhood. Of course, part of what makes reading enjoyable is being able to do it confidently. However, «parents shouldn’t be the ones reinforcing lessons or obsessing about fundamentals,» Dr. Carlsson-Paige notes. «They should simply be reading with their kids—that’s it.» In other words, keep it light and fun. Books should make you laugh and smile, transport you to faraway lands, and transform you into dragon-slaying sleuths, making you feel all the feels along the way. «If we treat books like they’re magical, kids will grow up believing that too,» says Shanna Schwartz, lead senior staff developer at Columbia University Teachers College Reading and Writing Project in New York City.

Start with these expert- and mom-approved ideas and the magic will follow.

1. Swap Ariana Grande for an audiobook.

Yes, audiobooks count as reading—and they can help children do it better. «Hearing someone reading a book confidently is a great way to experience fluency, which is the ability to read a text accurately, quickly, and with good expression,» says Elissa Mostransky, a grade-school reading teacher and mother of four. Her favorites: E. B. White reading Charlotte’s Web and The Magic Tree House series, which her boys listen to in the car on the way to and from soccer practice. Borrow them at your library, or get a free listening app at Audible.com.

2. Model reading love.

«Children take cues from adults,» says Schwartz. «When you grow up surrounded by junk food, you like junk food. When you grow up surrounded by books, you like books.» Annette Uvena, a mom of two reluctant readers, shares her excitement often: «I make sure they see me reading, but I also talk to them about the book. I’ll excitedly point out something that reminds me of the story, because I want them to see that books bring me joy and will bring them joy too.»

3. Theme your nook.

A quiet, cozy, full-of-books nook is a must. «Kids love forts, so just draping two chairs with a blanket can do the trick,» says Christina Droskoski, a grade-school reading specialist and mother of three. «But working with your child to make it an area where she’d want to hang out makes reading time even more appealing.» Consider a beach theme: towels on the floor, a beach umbrella propped against the wall, a poster of the ocean, and sand buckets to house the books. Other possibilities: a pirate’s cove, rain forest, or spaceship.

4. Help bring books to life.

Finding book-inspired activities to do IRL extends the experience, says Dr. Carlsson-Paige. If your 3-year-old loves The Three Little Pigs, take him to see some piggies in person. Reading about the stars? Head to the planetarium. Or take a bookcation—to London after reading Harry Potter, say, or New York City after reading Stuart Little.

5. Celebrate writers.

Start with Dr. Seuss—March 2 is his birthday. (He’d be 113!) To commemorate the occasion, the National Education Association instituted Read Across America Day for schools to participate in reading competitions, games, and parties. Celebrate at home by introducing your kids to one of the good doctor’s lesser-known works. Some possibilities:

6. Read the book, then watch the movie.

Pick a classic that’s been turned into a movie—Bridge to Terabithia; The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory—and read it together, a few chapters at a time. When you’re finished, host a family movie night to watch the film version. «It’s a great way to motivate reluctant readers,» says Katie Vaccaro, a grade-school teacher and mother of two.

7. Stash books all over.

«Surrounding kids with books at an early age gets them hooked,» says Alice Sterling Honig, Ph.D., a child development expert at Syracuse University, in New York. Curate a basket to reflect the current season—they’ll be excited to see new titles, and tying them to what’s going on that month will bolster their interest. No holiday on the horizon? Hit the library for topics your kid is currently digging. Leave them out (even on the floor of the car!) and they will pick them up. «Don’t keep books up on shelves,» says Dr. Honig. «Let little kids touch them, carry them around, even take waterproof ones into the bath.»

8. Read aloud—even when they don’t need it.

«Reading aloud is both educational and social, so there are layers of value there,» says Dr. Carlsson-Paige. Plus, children learn to read best—and to love it most—when they hear countless stories over many years in a meaningful context (think cuddling on a parent’s lap). Listening also gives tired readers a break. Dr. Carlsson-Paige loves C. S. Lewis, E. B. White, and Roald Dahl for read-alouds. GuysRead.com, specifically for boys, and ReadingRockets.org are excellent sites for book ideas broken down by age and interests.

9. Turn your library visits into adventures.

Lean on librarians—they’re paid to make reading magical for kids. Check in at the front desk before hitting the stacks to see what kind of activities might be going on. Bookmark the website, too, so you can see upcoming events. «Even if you take your kid there for, say, a building project, he’s going to associate the library with fun, and that’s a good thing,» says Droskoski. And be sure to get each of your children a library card. «It will help them take ownership of the reading experience,» she adds.

10. Reread the same books to little ones.

Books advance early language development. At first, kids notice the pictures; then they learn to turn the pages; then they realize the story is the same each time—all key pre-reading skills. Books with rhymes are especially beneficial: «Rhyming helps with phonemic awareness—recognizing repetition and sounds,» Dr. Carlsson-Paige says. «Kids love rhymes because they learn what comes next and can chime in.» Titles to try:

11. Conquer the log.

Mostransky has her three older kids gather on the couch Sunday mornings, and they read together in their pajamas for about an hour. Then, when the craziness of the week comes, no one has to stress about cramming in 20 minutes of reading on top of all the other homework. «Once you start forcing kids to read, you’re taking the fun right out of it,» says Mostransky. If the kids can’t get it done—or they fall asleep, as often happens—they can list one of the books they read on Sunday on their reading log!

12. Get cooking.

«When ingredients and instructions are read slowly many times, it improves comprehension,» notes Droskoski. Get a cookbook at the library (Cooking Class and Kid Chef are both great) and let your child pick a meal to make with you. «Ask her to read the recipe out loud while you chop,» says Droskoski. «Then switch roles.» Have her write out a menu too—incorporating writing in play also bolsters reading skills.

13. Start a club.

All it takes is two people reading the same book. Have your child ask a friend, or make it a mother-child endeavor. Pick a deadline and a meeting place, and bring a few discussion questions to get things going (best part, favorite character, ideas for an alternate ending). «Reading is a social activity, and book clubs are a great way to share the experience with friends or family,» says Dr. Carlsson-Paige, who is in a book club with her granddaughter. (They have meetings over Skype!)

14. Ask questions.

This enhances comprehension—and enjoyment. (It’s no fun if they don’t get what’s going on.) «It’s not about grilling, it’s about checking in,» says Dr. Carlsson-Paige. Ask which characters he likes best, what he thinks will happen next, what he would do in that situation. «If you over-focus on letters and sounds at the expense of the story, children aren’t as likely to become good readers,» she explains. «If you’re a good reader, you read fast—you’re not looking at every letter, you’re reading for meaning, which is what fuels the reading process.»

15. Turn to books at tough times.

«Add books to any passion in a child’s life—or to any struggle,» says Schwartz. Getting a puppy? Add a book. Starting a new school? Add a book. «You’re saying that books can help when they’re feeling sad, or excited, or anything,» she notes. Have the «book fairy» drop it off: «Wrap the book and leave it with a note—’I heard you’re going to be a big sister. This will help you learn about your new role. Love, the Book Fairy.'» Some scenario-specific suggestions:

16. Get a little goofy.

Buy your older readers a headlamp so they can stay up «past bedtime.» It helps remind them that reading is a treat and a privilege—and they’ll feel grown-up. Bonus: You can borrow the headlamp for winter grilling!

17. Count on magazines.

«Magazines help teach kids that current information is valuable,» says Schwartz. «They give us the opportunity to become interested in things we didn’t know we cared about.» Getting a new issue is exciting, and it’s important to build a ritual around that for your child, Schwartz suggests. If your child gets Highlights, for example, maybe he’ll always go first to the hidden-picture page. Or perhaps he’ll like reading National Geographic Kids while sitting by the big window overlooking the yard.

18. Give the gift that keeps them reading.

When your MIL asks about birthday presents, suggest books! Have your kids give them to their friends too, with an inscription that tells the recipient why this book is special for her. «You’re teaching your child that books are a way to connect with others,» says Schwartz.

How To Practice Unconditional Love?

The simple meaning of unconditional Love is not wanting anything in return, and if you can practice this true form inside, there will be no disappointment in your life.

Love has many forms: childish love, parental love, romantic love, etc. And most of them come with expectations. They appear in the different period of our life, like our roles.

Unconditional love is the love which we could even call divine love.

The love when you start to see the true nature in everything and we love that, understanding that each of us are connected so loving him or her, loving a tree or an animal, means that loving one’s self.

To take the first steps, it might be weird at the beginning, but after you incorporate it into everyday life, you will feel the gratitude. Feel grateful for life and the love you have inside. Every one of us has it, we’re born with it, and there is no end or no beginning, LOVE is always there, and that unconditional love makes us FREE! Feels good to give and costs nothing.

Every mother knows this deep emotion. The feeing they have about their child is fundamentally an entrée for unconditional love. Mothers surrounding their children with care and attention, provision; loving the baby without expectations, this is unconditional love.

Mothers don’t want to possess, they feel so much gratitude every minute of their life because they can hold their baby. And the baby is happy too! The Mother is there in every one of us, even if we are male or female. There is no exception, everybody is capable to give unconditional love.

But if we would like to practice, how can we do that in our everyday life?

We don’t need to be St. Francis of Assisi. He is the greatest example of unconditional love. He loved every creature in this world and he held the whole universe in his arms. And he did this with a great humility and unconditional love.

The qualities of unconditional love are:

The first steps:

No fears

With fear and anger, we are not able to turn our attention to love. Anger is the reflection of fear. Fear is the stage of ego where we are not unified inside. We doubt ourselves. So, if we forgive ourselves – let us let go of our anger and fury. We trust who we are, we can start to concentrate automatically on loving. And this love will appear in our life like many tiny miracles, and we can be grateful for that in every minute, and miracles will grow and bring more love into our life.

Be grateful

Be grateful for your life, everything that exists in this world manifested from love. Even our life. And if I look around, I can’t see gratitude. People think that what they have is all coming naturally, that it is their subjective right. It is not. Everything around us is made by other people. So say “thank you” to them, say thank you for that person who made a good meal for you, say thank you for the waiter if he’s working fine, say thank you to your husband when he is working all day long to give you everything that you need. Say thank you to the world because you can be part of it.

Unconditional love makes you free!

What does it mean? It means whoever you are, you can be that person, you can declare your thoughts and feelings with full confidence. You don’t need to be frightened of anybody that can deprive that love from you. Nobody will punish you for your openness and honesty. There is no admission for your love, no need to pay for that.

«There is no third possibility: love is either conditional or unconditional. Either I attach conditions to my love for you or I do not. To the extent that I do attach such conditions, I do not really love you. I am only offering an exchange, not a gift. And true love is and must always be a free gift.»

John Powell: Unconditional love

Wake up and remember who you are, remember that happiness, what is fundamentally yours from the beginning. Try to live your life with the feeling of love. Smile, help, understand, and just love, then watch the people’s reaction around you. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed. Just give it a try.