How to stop caring

How To Stop Caring (7 Ways To RELAX About Everything)

Caring too much is draining your energy.

Maybe you’re an empath and caring comes naturally. Maybe what you care about seems to have some control over you and it’s difficult to let go. Whatever the case, caring too much is no longer serving you, and you want to no longer care.

But how do you do it, how do you not care?

Well, to start you need to ask some questions of yourself, and the first question to ask is actually pretty obvious.

Why do I care so much?

It’s painful, right? A part of you clearly wants to let go of this worry. You’re tired of thinking about the relationship, the ex, the anxiety over your work, the concerns about what people think about you. But even though you want to stop caring about these things, on some level you’re still chasing them. They’re still occupying too much space in your mind. Draining you, day by day.

There are a number of reasons you continue to care, but let’s take one from evolutionary psychology; the modular mind.

See, different parts of the brain link together to make up a series of networks. Each of these networks have different drives or goals, also known as different modules. Because the aims of these modules can contradict each other, you end up in self-conflict.

Take for example the issue of a toxic relationship. Your drive for security (for yourself) can seemingly push you away from your partner, while your drive for care (for the other) can push you towards them. You have a natural empathetic drive to help and protect, and you don’t want to hurt the other person, but by staying in the relationship you’re keeping yourself in a state of insecurity and anxiety. It’s a catch-22.

When you care too much, it means you have a strong attachment to whatever you are fixating on. Fortunately, our brains are, at least partly, rational. By going through each of our attachments, and the drives that are creating them, we can convince our brains that we don’t actually need to keep caring about the thing that’s troubling us. Less care = less investment, less investment = less energy wasted. When we are drained of energy we feel low, when that feeling becomes persistent, we call that depression.

To truly not care about what people think, you need to go through your worries, one by one. We’re deeply social creatures, so the most intense attachments we have are almost always personal relationships. The stronger we feel for someone and the longer we’ve known them, the more intensely we seem to care, and the more power they seem to have over us.

As the late great Harvard psychologist turned spiritual giant Ram Dass once said:

“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.”

I’ve come up with seven steps to not caring that are based on principles of psychology and neuroscience. It’s good if you can go through these with a pen and paper and take notes on what comes up. If not, just thinking about it or talking about it with someone (or yourself) will also be useful.

7 Ways To Stop Caring

How To Stop Caring About Someone

This is a real challenge. Other people can often feel like a part of us, so letting them go is like losing a part of ourselves. Something you may want to consider when going through the steps above is to look at what this person represents for you. What need are they fulfilling? Could it be fulfilled in another way? For example, maybe you want to care less about the negative comments your boss makes, but you know she holds power over your income – so there’s a sense of security invested in her.

How To Stop Caring In A Relationship (or about your ex)

A romantic relationship is one of the strongest attachments we have, because it represents so much to our personality, our sense of self and our survival. A big way to break out of the habit of caring for someone is to put yourself in situations where you rely on your independence to solve problems.

How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You

Almost everyone is concerned with how they are perceived in social situations, at least to some extent. One way to stop caring what people think of you is to recognise why it’s better to not be so worried about it. A lot of the times our ideas about what people think about us are completely out of line with what they actually think. Also, their ideas (like ours) are constantly changing, so it doesn’t make any sense to try to obsessively manage your social image.

How To Stop Caring About Work

Work, like relationships, represent a lot for many of us. What we do for work is, in some ways, who we are. It’s what we do every day, it’s how many others may judge our success and worth, and it’s how we provide for ourselves and our families. So how to not care about work? First of all, try and be relaxed as possible at work. We naturally get tense in uncomfortable situations and that tricks our minds into caring more than is necessary. Another important thing to consider is to accept that you are emotionally invested in your work, but recognise that it doesn’t define you. Try to look for other ways that some of the needs that are met by our work might be fulfilled with other things in our life.

Ok, so there you have it, a comprehensive guide that shows you how to stop caring. Mind you, while it is simple, it’s not easy. A large part of stopping the incessant worry is simply practice over and over again. Practicing accepting why you care, that you care, and practice the art of not caring.

What are you caring too much about? How have you learned to not care? Drop a comment below and let us know, or send me an email at ben@projectmonkeymind.com!

Published by

Ben Fishel

Ben is an author, psychotherapist and the creator of Project Monkey Mind, a blog that looks at Psychology and Spirituality to find practical wisdom for the digital age. He holds an MSc. in Applied Neuroscience from King’s College London and a Bachelors in Psychology from the University of Queensland. View all posts by Ben Fishel

How to Stop Caring What People Think and Focus on Your Needs

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How to stop caring what people think of you, such a causal topic for a breezy Tuesday afternoon. To completely change how you have spent your whole life thinking isn’t easy, we are programmed to want to help, to be considerate and to gain validation from others. To stop caring what people think of you is to go against years of evolutionary training and social upbringing.

Why do we care about what others think?

There are many reasons we care about what people think of us but, I am going to start with the basics: Biology.

We are programmed to seek validation, approval and inclusion into our tribes. It is a survival instinct. Humans are pack animals, we hunt and live together for survival. So back in our caveman days, keeping in with the tribe was important because if the tribe rejects you, you are thrown out into the wilderness to face the elements and soon after, death.

But as our societies progressed to be more complex and our tribes to be much larger with better communication skills so that we could change tribes relatively safely, it became a question of pride, ego and social validation. It became less about our avoiding death and more about gaining status to a better lifestyle.

The more popular we are, the more likely we are to succeed because people are more willing to help us on our journeys. This applies to positive and negative popularity, you can inspire by fear or by kindness and it reaches the same outcome.

So how do you just stop caring what people think for the better? Since it is so hard wired into us, how do we just stop?

It is possible to do and to do it without being a psychopath but we don’t just stop one day. It isn’t a decision to just stop and then POOF, we don’t care anymore. It isn’t just a one step “Oh just stop thinking” either, it is a process of reprogramming your mind.

To stop caring about what people think of you requires you face your inner demons, take back control of your subconscious thoughts, take a look at who you are and learn a few vital lessons.

1. What People Think of You Is a Reflection on Them and Not on You

We all see the world through our own perspective and perceptions. Have you ever heard the tale of “people normally hate in others what they hate in themselves”, this couldn’t be more true.

For example, if you were to cast a negative judgement on someone because they liked to lie and tell grandiose exaggerated stories. That judgement is a reflection on your dislike for lying than it is a reflection on the person telling the story. The story could easily been perceived as entertaining to someone else, you just perceive it negatively based on your own perspective.

Equally, this is flipped. If someone doesn’t like you for a quality you have, that is a reflection on them. For example, if someone judges you negatively because you like to buy expensive watches. That is a reflection on their mindset and set of values rather than you.

When people are negatively judging you, they are saying more about themselves than they are about you. Most of the time, it isn’t even about you but redirected aggression from another area of their life and you just happen to be an outlet.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone

The more popular we are, the safer we feel in a community. We fear rejection as an evolutionary trait because to be rejected by the tribe was to be outcast and die at the hands of the elements and lions. But we have long since evolved since then, and people have gotten more complex with every passing generation. People are so diverse and pleasing absolutely everyone is an impossibility.

Take Beyonce for an example, people love Beyonce but not everyone does. Not because Beyonce has or hasn’t done anything but because she’s just not their cup of tea and that is fine. So stop trying to please everyone because you can’t, which leads us to the next lesson.

3. Be Your Authentic Self

Since it doesn’t matter what people think of you because it’s a reflection of what they think and not about you, and you can’t please everyone, you might as well be your Authentic Self.

We hear that phrase thrown around a lot lately but here is the run down. Your authentic self is the person you want to be if you had no one to please or impress. Your authentic self is the person who speaks their truth, not the doctored truth to keep the peace, says the things you really think and believe in. Your authentic self is the person you hide from the world because you are deathly afraid they will reject you.

If you embrace your authentic self and start turning up as that everyday, people will reject, people will not like you. But people will also love you, they may be new and different people, but they will love you and most importantly of all, you will love you because you are living your truth.

4. Are People Even Paying Attention to You at All?

People are selfish, we spend a lot of time worried what people think of us but most of the time, they think something, forget about it and move on. They are barely paying attention to why they are thinking that, let alone the small judgement they just made.

Most people are made up of recycled ideas they were taught from people they respected growing up, their parents, teachers, the cool kids at school. Take a moment to take in the fact that you are the most important person in your life, not in theirs.

5. Listen to Your Judgements

I think one of the main reasons we are all so concerned with what people think of us is because we are surrounded by negative media always objectifying and criticizing anything and anyone. No one and nothing is safe from the unrelenting cruelty of the media.

As a result, we are programmed to make similar judgements because it is the main input of information in our lives and we want to go with the crowd and nothing screams conform to society like news outlets.

Because we make these mean and cruel internal judgements that we apply to people, we assume other people are doing the same, which they are and as a result, we are all comparing each other to the impossible standard. We feel miserable, depressed and unworthy because we think everyone thinks we aren’t good enough but the problem starts with us.

We also think these thoughts of other people, to begin the process of change you have to stop the unnecessary judgements on other people. Their bodies, their choices, their fashion accessories.

Take responsibility for your internal talk and when a pre programmed negative judgement like “Oh that person is so fat, they should go to the gym”, you correct yourself because…

6. It Is None of Your Darn Business!

You see the world through your own perceptions but your perceptions aren’t truth. They are your truth but they aren’t everyone’s truth. You can see a curvy person in the street but that doesn’t mean they don’t go to the gym. That judgement might be a reflection of your insecurity about the lack of time you spend in the gym.

Humans are curious and I dare say it, nosy. We are nosy and we need to keep our noses in our own business, sorting out our own mindsets rather than happily getting into other peoples business and telling them out to live their lives.

7. This is Your Life, Yours!

No one has walked in your shoes, no one has seen what you have seen. You aren’t comparable to anyone, so stop comparing yourself to others.

If you find yourself thinking, “oh this person is better than me or this person has suffered more than me therefore I should be something else” STOP. You don’t have to be anything but yourself and no one compares to you. When you do find yourself comparing, remind yourself that you don’t compare.

8. Rewire Your Brain for Positive Thinking

We all overthink and it is easier to think negatively than it is to think positively. Start catching yourself when you start to overthink and imagining the worst scenarios.

I know you think you are protecting yourself so you won’t be blindsided but, it doesn’t help anyone because honestly, most of the time it doesn’t even happen. You just sit torturing yourself.

If you think something is really wrong, you will know in your gut; and if your gut says so, go deal with it immediately, don’t sit and over think it. Handle it.

9. Focus on Your Needs

By cutting out all of the internal negativity, you have the opportunity to start focusing on your needs — who you are and what you need and connecting with you authentic self.

To start focusing on your needs, take back control of your life. Having been living life to please people isn’t your fault, we are raised wanting to please our parents so we received rewards. Pleasing people gives you rewards in the form of love, compliments, toys and food.

But now, it is time to focus on what rewards you want from life and you can’t find them in another person. You are the one who has to provide the love for yourself, compliment yourself, buy yourself nice things and feed yourself good foods. We always want to be taken care of because it is safe but, it is time to take care of yourself now. I assure you, once you get used to it, you will feel safe.

Start by focusing on what you need in your life. This doesn’t just mean what you need emotionally, it also means spiritually, financially, house decorially. What is it that you need to work on to make you feel safe and complete?

Start Working Out What Your Needs

I will start with 5 things you can do to start working out what your needs are:

1. What things do you value most in your life?

Is it family? Is it honesty? Is it success? Find what you value, make a top 5 list so you know what you want to focus on in your life.

2. Spend time with people that like your authentic self.

People who know who you are and what you really want, they can offer great judgement free reflections.

Remove anyone in your life who makes you feel ugh, you don’t have to be around them and it only brings you down. (In regards to bosses and colleagues, please refer to my other article on how to deal with them)

3. Clear up your environment.

As I mentioned earlier with the media bombardment of negativity, your input into your life greatly affects you.

Cut out the negativity or anything that makes you feel worthless, and surround yourself with things that make you feel safe and abundant. Throw out all that clutter that brings you down, block all those negative Nancys on facebook or those people that trigger your insecurities and focus on you.

4. Quit social media for a moment.

We spend all day scrolling looking at other people’s amazing achievements and in our heads, we assume everyone is doing better than we are.

Until you feel a little more secure, stop the comparison train at the source and pick up a book or start a new tv show instead. When you feel ready to come back, delete all of the people who bring you down or trigger you to feel insecure. Make sure your feeds are filled with nothing but positivity and productivity. Putting yourself down is a waste of everyone’s time.

5. Stop this internal nonsense that you aren’t good enough.

If you are struggling with it, you need to find a way to correct yourself, learn how to deal with these kinds of thoughts.

You can try affirmations, meditations or one of the many options available to you if you just took a moment to look, instead of scrolling on instagram, comparing yourself to photoshopped models or successful entrepreneurs.

Final Thoughts

Life is too short to spend it constantly letting your own inner self talk and the negative judgements of others bring you down.

Caring what people think of you is within your control, I know it doesn’t feel like it but it is. You can’t control what people say out of their faces, but you can control your reactions to it, the negativity you put into your head and how you talk to yourself and about others internally.

Like I said at the start, there is no easy answer, it is a process of learning a new way of thinking that challenges your biology, your upbringing and your mental psyche. But if you do commit to change, you will find your life will swiftly fall into place because you get to be unashamedly you.

How to Stop Caring So Much

Caring too much about unimportant things is a waste of time and energy. Not only that, it’s actually counterproductive.

By not caring so much — about things you shouldn’t be caring about — you can actually be happier and more productive.

In this article, I’ll share some of the things I don’t care about and some of the things I do care about. Then I’ll share how I stopped caring about the former.

What Not to Care About

Sometimes people think I don’t care about anything. I do care. About some things anyways. I just don’t let the stupid things bother me. I care about the right things. Here are some of the wrong things…

Don’t care about what other people think.

No one cares about you either. Everyone’s stuck in their own head.

Or maybe everyone is judging you. All the time!

It doesn’t matter. You can’t please everyone anyways.

Don’t care about what’s out of your control.

Don’t care that life is hard. Don’t care that your boss is annoying.

Accept reality. Take action. You’ll be alright in the end.

Don’t care about what won’t matter in the long run.

Will the guy walking slowly on the side walk matter 10 years from now?

Will getting too many emails matter 10 years from now?

Don’t care when things go wrong.

If you don’t try, you can’t get anywhere.

Caring about failure will only keep you from succeeding.

Learn from your experiences. Then take best action.

Don’t care about crappy people.

When you care about crappy people, you’re letting them win.

If someone wastes your time, don’t waste more of it by caring.

Nothing is more valuable than your mindset. Not even your time.

What to Care About

Care about what’s in your control.

Eating well. Exercising. Sleeping. Loving. Being grateful. Improving everyday.

Care about what makes you happier and more productive.

If you find politics entertaining — then do your thing.

Care about yourself.

Not in a selfish way. Actually, yes, in a selfish way.

Don’t just care about yourself. Love yourself.

It’s impossible to care about stupid shit at the same time as loving yourself.

Care about what matters.

Does what restaurant you eat at this weekend matter? Does what you order matter?

What matters is who you’re going with.

How to Stop Caring

Know your values.

Do you value money? Fame?

Or do you value your time? Your happiness? Your independence?

If you don’t choose your values, someone else will choose them for your.

Experience caring and failing.

Fail. Embarrass yourself.

Learn that it isn’t so bad.

It could be much worse.

Be grateful that it isn’t.

Then move on. Just keep taking the best action.

Experience not caring and winning.

One time I stopped caring about stupid things. I stopped trying to read people’s minds. I stopped caring about what’s gone wrong in the past and what could go wrong in the future.

Instead, I cared about what was in my control and what mattered. Then I took best action.

I wrote a proposal and sent an email.

Don’t feel guilty

There’s a fine line between not caring and being reckless. Mind it carefully.

But don’t feel guilty about not caring.

Anytime you hear something explained by “you just have to” — run. That’s not a reason. That’s a scam.

How To Stop Caring About Someone (17 Ways That Work)

Here in this article, we question whether you can ever really stop caring about someone and the ways you can learn how to stop caring about someone too. In doing so, we list 17 ways to help you move forward so that your heart can heal and you can start afresh with other people.

Do You Ever Stop Caring About Someone?

Bearing this in mind, you need to learn how not to care for them so that you can move on with your life. The same can be said of a person who is in love with someone else who doesn’t return the same feelings. This can be very difficult as it can be hard to get any form of closure, however, it is possible to do so and stop caring about someone to let go.

Take comfort in the fact that in life we don’t always get to be with the people we want all of the time, but we will eventually feel better even when those feelings are not returned how we would like them to be. Above all, remember that time is a great healer and, while it may not feel like it now, you will eventually move on with your life and find a person who does reciprocate your feelings.

How To Not Care About Someone You Love? 17 Ways To Stop Caring

Here are our 17 ways that can help you learn how to stop caring about someone. While it can help only trying out one or two of them if possible try to implement as many as you can in your life so that you can move forward as quickly as you can. While feelings of the heart should never be forced or rushed, there are definitely things that will help support that healing that we mention below.

1. Stop contacting them

Without a doubt, one of the best ways to move on from a person is to stop contacting them altogether. Without doing so, you make it so much harder to stop caring about them as the sheer fact of seeing them or hearing from them will make it much more difficult to break the habit you have got into. That habit is caring about them and to break it, you make life a lot easier by not contacting them. Obviously, sometimes, this is difficult to do. You may have children together or you may be part of each other’s lives in some other material way. However, if you can, minimize all interactions you have with them until you feel a lot stronger in yourself.

2. Delete them from your social media accounts

One of the best ways to stop interactions with someone that you care about and a good way to learn how to stop caring about someone is to delete them from your social media accounts. This can mean that that you unfollow them so that you no longer get notified about what they are up to and nor do you see any pictures of them. By doing so, you don’t get regular reminders about their lives without you which can be hurtful and really stop you from moving on without them. Additionally, you can delete any picture the two of you have together as a way to get over them. It can be much easier to stop caring for a person if you have no visual evidence of happier times you had together.

3. Delete any memory of them

In relation to deleting images of them on social media, a really good idea to minimize your heartbreak and anxiety about moving on with your life is to try to delete any other memory you have of the people you want to move on from. This can mean getting rid of any hard copy pictures or photographs you have taken in your home, or it can mean returning things that they once bought for you as a present. While the memory itself is harder to erase from your mind, it can help you stop caring about someone if you don’t have the visual reminders of them scattered around your home.

4. Start a new hobby

Another thing that can be very beneficial to do when you are trying to stop caring about someone is to distract yourself and occupy your mind. It is a good idea therefore to start a new hobby that can divert your attention at times that you would either have been busy with your ex or thinking about the person for whom you still have feelings. Hobbies can be a very powerful way of refocusing your energies elsewhere whilst also having the positive side effect that you can master a skill that you have always wanted to get better at. The hobby you start is up to you, but as long as it is very different to anything the person you have feelings for would be interested in, it’s a very proactive step to take towards learning how to stop caring about someone.

5. Spend time with friends

When you love someone you can sometimes forget that there are lots of other people around you that think you are great and enjoy your company too. Bearing this in mind, when you are trying to forget about someone or a past relationship, it can be a great idea to spend time with your friends. It can be so good for your confidence being with people who are in your life because they care about you and also because they enjoy your company. When you have feelings for someone else that aren’t returned, it is easy to suffer from a lack of self-confidence at times. Being with friends who love all the things about you can really help break that self-loathing cycle.

6. Focus on your career

Another good way to direct your energies into something other than thinking about that special someone is to focus on your career. It can be very easy when we are in love or have a crush on someone or even are suffering from depression due to the end of a relationship, to get into bad habits at work, and stop trying. This is often due to that very self-loathing that spending time with friends can stop. Focusing on your career can stop this too as when you fully focus your energies into your job, you will start to reap the rewards through promotions or financial benefits that highlight that you are doing well. Things don’t have to break down for the rest of your life just because your relationship with a person isn’t panning out how you’d like.

7. Start seeing other people

Starting to see other people is a great way to help you get to grips with how to stop caring about someone. This is because by seeing other people you may actually find another person that you do care about just as much as that someone you are trying to move on from. We often forget when we have strong feelings for someone that there may be another person out there that we love just as much, if not more. However, while it can be so easy to feel like this, it is possible to have many meaningful relationships in our lives. Seeing other people will help you remember that it is possible to care for another person and have a lot of fun.

8. Focus on their bad points

9. Look at all that was wrong with your relationship

If you were with a person in a partnership that you want to move on from, it can be helpful to look at all that was wrong with your relationship as a way to learn how to stop caring about someone as soon as possible. The reason being is that there can be some fundamental things that happen in a partnership that will prevent it from ever being successful or happy. In doing so, that can help you remember why you were not well suited.

10. Go on vacation

It may sound a bit like you want to escape, but going on a vacation can really help you forget that someone for which you care a lot about still. The reason being is that getting away from your normal life can also get you away from all the things that remind you of that someone. This is important as without having the daily reminders for the person you like, you give yourself a much better chance of letting time heal your wounds so that you can get back out there and start afresh. Vacations don’t have to be far or fancy, just somewhere that is new that won’t give you any reason to remember the person you are trying to forget.

11. See a counselor

Sometimes our feelings are just too much for us to cope with and it can be hard to move on from something like that without the help of a well trained professional. If you are finding that things are getting on top of you and you really cannot cope with all the feelings that are racing through your mind and body, it can be a great idea to go and see a counselor who will be able to help you work through your issues. They can give you some really practical advice and help you address your problems that are causing you pain.

12. Get into exercise

When we care about a person and we either break up with them, or we are rejected by them in some format, it can be very tempting to give in to self-pity. This is a difficult cycle to break and will make it far more difficult to get on with things when we start feeling sorry for ourselves. A really good thing to break that cycle therefore is to start doing exercise as regularly as possible. This doesn’t have to be a complicated exercise or something daredevil like some of the latest exercise crazes can be. Instead, just a good long walk near your home or a run is all you need to get those much-needed endorphins running through your body. Endorphins are our good mood hormones that can really help improve our moods.

13. Remember your strengths

14. Keep busy

Keeping busy is a crucial part of stopping caring about someone. The reason being is that if we always have something to occupy ourselves with, we give ourselves less time to think about the person we are trying to forget. Also, it can be very beneficial to keep busy as it means you may start to have experiences that you may otherwise not have had. Plus, the hope is that by keeping busy, when you finally look up and take a break from all that you have done, enough time will have passed for you to have moved on from the person you want to forget.

15. Say yes to every offer

16. Set yourself small goals

17. Remember that time is a great healer

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Watch this free video that explains how you can become his priority!

There are so many things you can do to learn how to stop caring about someone. You can try one or two of the things we have suggested above, or you can try to implement all of them into your life so that you can start caring less about a person as soon as possible.

When you love someone it can be very hard to stop immediately if the relationship breaks down. However, it is possible if you allow yourself the time to heal as well as focus on yourself and your needs and wants. Time will eventually heal your wounds.

Rejection is one of the hardest things to get over in life and when you are the person that is in love. However, it is both necessary and possible to do so that you can move on. You need to take as a proactive approach as possible to forget about them and accept that your feelings won’t be returned.

The Bottom Line

When we want to stop caring about someone we often want it to happen immediately. Sadly, when it comes to feelings of the heart, getting over someone can never be rushed or forced. However, you can help yourself move on by owning up to how you are feeling and trying as many proactive things as possible to break the habit and routine you got into when it came to caring for another person. Remember, time really is a healer when it comes to getting over someone, just have faith in yourself that you have the ability to get through this difficult period.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you’ll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Watch this quick video that explains how this one thing will get you to think about you first.

11 Steps to Stop Caring So Much

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It’s the last straw. You’ve been hurt again by trying to help someone else. You can’t take it anymore and don’t know what to do. Things have turned toxic, and you need to break free.

It’s okay. Relax. In this article, you will learn how to stop caring so much.

(Side note: One of the best ways to increase your happiness and life satisfaction is to plan your day, so you focus on your TOP goals. To get started, watch this free video that details the 7-minute habit for planning your day to focus on what’s important.)

What You Will Learn

Why Should I Stop Caring?

There are instances when you should stop caring because, for one thing, it may make you sick. Anxiety, depression, physical illness, and a weakened immune system arise from high cortisol levels released from the brain into the body. This occurs when you stress out. If not managed, high cortisol levels may cause serious health issues like cancer, heart disease, major organ problems, high blood pressure, and stroke.

The other reason you should stop caring is that you are not helping the other person in the long run. You can’t control another person’s life or their choices. It’s enough to live your own life without trying to live someone else’s too.

Why do you think you can control two lives? You have a big heart, and you care. You want to help. You have love at your core, and it’s difficult to accept that you need to back away.

To help you understand why you might need to, let’s look at 11 steps to stop caring so much.

11 Steps to Stop Caring So Much

1. Realize Your Attachment

You are reading this article because you were guided to this page. You may want to learn how to stop caring so much.

Most people realize they have a negative attachment when it has pushed them too far. Maybe it was an argument or violent rage that opened their eyes. Perhaps they realized that they had been lied to, cheated on, or used. Did this happen to you?

Step back and evaluate what is happening. Is there a dilemma? Identify it.

Examine the problem the attachment is causing. Toxicity? Health issues? Mental difficulties? Relationship disputes?

Certain connections can complicate things because we feel that we have a social and moral responsibility to be forever chained to people, toxic or not. These are some types of relationships that may become your ball and chain:

Discovering your attachment is only the first part. If you want to know how to stop caring so much, you must uncover the reason it exists.

2. Realize the Reason for Your Attachment

Most likely, you will have to dig deep down to examine the reason for your attachment. It may be embedded in your job, an obligation or responsibility, family expectations, or even the need to save someone.

There is a road to awareness, but it takes introspection and self-reflection. These are questions to ask yourself:

Another element to face while seeking awareness is to realize the reason why you care so much. Here are a few causes:

Perceiving and understanding the reason you have the attachment in the first place will teach you about yourself. You will discern why you suffered the attachment and how to begin and hold fast to the process of detaching.

3. Detach

Disconnecting from carrying others’ pain is difficult. However, their turmoil will become yours unless you disengage. You must realize that all suffering is caused by attachments.

Here are some ways to free yourself to stop caring so much:

Once you’ve gotten this far, you’re going to experience some off-putting emotions. They will be directed at you from other people and from within yourself. You will most likely doubt your decision and feel waves of guilt and shame.

4. Get Rid of Guilt or Shame

Guilt can either be a sense of responsibility dumped on us by others, or it can be a sense of remorse that we feel deep inside.

Shame can either be a moral punishment that others want us to suffer, or it can be an excruciating feeling of having done something wrong.

Guilt and shame have two sources: others and you. We often understand that other people cause our guilt and shame, but we don’t usually pick up on the fact that we can put these negative energies onto ourselves. There is only a slight difference between who pulls out those guns, but the lasting effect can be incredibly damaging.

Don’t argue with anyone about your choice. Just remove yourself from the situation and let them go quietly. Do not react to their reaction. It will only keep the negative cycle going.

When guilt or shame develops, remember that you can’t control others’ lives or decisions. For anyone to expect you to continue in a toxic situation is an inappropriate supposition.

5. Don’t Permit Others to Dictate Your Decision to Detach

When you realize you have an attachment, the reason why you have it, and that you need to detach, it is your decision. You know what toxicity means to your life. No one else has the authority to make that call. Nor do they have the power to dictate your decision to detach.

Regain control over your life. Be careful who you seek advice from and how that advice might affect your decision to disconnect. You haven’t done anything wrong, and you deserve some peace.

6. Reclaim Your Peace of Mind

When you asked how to stop caring so much, you already knew the ultimate goal. You wanted to reclaim your peace of mind.

Peaceful living is such a necessity for your overall well-being. Here are some ways to find it:

Everyone has their own special thing that brings them peace like nothing else. Do that. But remember, of all of this, one of the most critical things you must learn to do is graciously say, “No.”

7. Allow Others a Chance to Experience Life

Society teaches us from early childhood to be our brothers’ keepers. There is an aspect of social responsibility in that teaching that warrants some value.

You should strive to help another when you have the ability. But when social responsibility turns harmful, it’s time to rethink how far you must extend yourself, because another part of social responsibility is the accountability to take care of yourself. In fact, it is expected.

One more facet of social responsibility is allowing others to experience their lives, decisions, and ordeals to learn from them. That can’t happen if you’re always trying to dive in and save them. Permitting them to experience consequences doesn’t mean you are indifferent. It means you care.

8. Know That You Have a Big Heart

What drew you to this article was the concept of not worrying too much about others, which indicates that you are a person with a big heart. You probably overextend yourself to the point that you have been hurt, maybe even repeatedly.

People with sensitive, caring, overachieving hearts need love too, perhaps more so. Don’t wait for others to come running to give you a world-class massage and pour you a marvelous glass of wine. You must learn to love yourself and take charge of your self-care. You have a big heart, and you deserve it.

9. Administer Self-care Often

The three main types of self-care are physical, mental, and spiritual. Even though they are separate and distinct features of the sentient creatures we are in this world, they must all be maintained to accomplish whole-person care. Let’s take a glance at what they mean:

Physical self-care.

Your body is your vessel, and it’s the only one you get while you’re here on planet Earth. Some like to isolate the physical body as not having much to do with mental and spiritual care.

Some might even say to reject your body, its needs, and its pain. Nothing could be further from the truth. Your body did nothing to deserve such neglectful ideas. Punishing it isn’t fair. Nor is it conducive to a person’s overall well-being. You get one body. Take care of it like it’s your temple.

Pamper yourself. Take long, hot baths. Walk. Hike. Exercise. Eat healthy. Go to the gym. Get your hair done. Lay in a hammock all day. Tell your body you love it, and you are grateful for it.

Mental self-care.

How you care for your mind determines how your body reacts and functions. If your mind is suffering, your body will also.

When detaching from toxic situations, you simply must keep your mind in a good place. It is imperative because if your mental condition is in pain, it will lead to physical illness, spiritual chaos, and more mental suffering. Take care of your mind like it’s your temple too.

Find neuropathway exercises and do them religiously. Reject any negative judgment against you for detaching. Get psychological counseling. Do music therapy and animal therapy. Join a support group. Take a vacation. Find your happy place. When you do, then pick up speed on your spiritual side.

Spiritual self-care.

What distinguishes mental from spiritual can be a gray line for some folks. Mental relates to the logical and intellectual mind and its processes. Spiritual describes a part of ourselves that goes beyond the mind. It encompasses belief systems, faith, morality, and a sense of things unseen or not logical to the mind.

Spiritual self-care is a serious matter. It is what gives you hope, dreams, and the belief that things will get better. Without it, physical and mental self-care won’t get very far.

Remember you are stardust. This life on earth is only temporary but so important. You must be adamant about performing physical, mental, and spiritual self-care often. It is the only way to recover and maintain whole-person health and well-being.

Meditate or pray every day. Recite healing affirmations regularly. Express gratitude for even the simplest things. Look around and find joy.

Self-care is a vital aspect of learning how to stop caring so much. A routine of whole-person self-care and meditation will do the trick.

10. Meditate Daily

Meditation and prayer are similar in that you move your thoughts and intentions to a quiet place of reverence, gratitude, and manifestation. We like to assign labels and meaning to everything, but in meditation, there is nothing. In that nothingness, there is peace and calm.

Mastering this fantastic tool takes time and perseverance. Be persistent. Even if you feel like it isn’t doing anything for you, it is. Trust the process.

If you thought that mediation was the last step in the process of releasing attachments and learning how to stop caring so much, you were almost correct. There’s just one little caveat. These 11 steps need to be repeated like an Olympic athlete practices a lifetime for one sport.

11. Wash, Rinse, Repeat

Because we are human, we all suffer the repercussions of attachments in our lives—some to more degrees than others. The process of detaching is never a one-shot remedy. It is a process of awareness and learning. It takes practice, patience, and perseverance.

Once you go through these steps, go through them again. Eventually, it will become a lifestyle change that will come naturally. It will change your life. Here are the steps to follow:

Final Thoughts on How to Stop Caring So Much

Learning how to stop caring so much is a complicated and often tedious process. It takes dedication and patience. However, healing is possible if you’re willing to do the work. You can do this.

We are here to help. To begin your recovery, check out 45 Healing Affirmations for Your Mind, Body, and Soul that will help affirm your commitment to move on with your life.