How to stop thinking about thinking

How to Stop Thinking and Calm Your Mind

Do you sometimes wish you knew how to stop thinking?

Ask yourself the following questions:

You can stop thinking and enjoy inner peace and calmness.

You can have control over your thoughts.

I am not saying that you will able to stop thinking completely, but even a partial control of your thoughts is a great achievement.

Most people have no control over their thinking process. For most people it seems impossible to stop thinking. The idea of calming down the mind and halt thinking might seem to them ridiculous and unrealistic.

Thinking is part of life, and though most people feel harassed by thoughts that they prefer to avoid, the idea of finding a way to stop thinking does not even occur to them.

Is It Possible to Stop Thinking?

Yes, it is possible to stop thinking, but this requires training.

You do not have to live in a monastery, a cave or in the forest to calm your mind and stop thinking. You can do so while living the same kind of life that you are living now.

However, you should remember that:

You might say that you do not have the time and energy to train your mind to stop thinking.

You might think that this requires too much effort.

You might feel too lazy to try.

If you want results, you need to strive constantly. Every success in life, in every area, requires some effort.

If you wish to stop your racing thoughts, you need to take action and practice some special techniques to calm the constant chatter that goes on in the mind.

There are always thoughts in the mind. Many of them are repetitive thoughts, and others new thoughts. They constantly come and go, giving no moment of rest. The thoughts might be about a particular topic that interests you or about something that makes you worry.

People find themselves constantly thinking about work, relationships, plans, goals, or about health matters. Often, these thoughts are associated with stress, anxiety or fears.

Sometimes, you might not be aware of these thoughts, but at other times, they might create strain and anxiety and will not allow you to sleep at night.

Your thoughts might be replays of past or recent events, which generated anxiety for you. Sometimes, they might relate to future events that are causing you stress and anxiety.

Often, repeating the the same thought over and again, increases any related problem or fear, and blow things out of proportion. Learning to stop them, will reduce events to their real proportion, and therefore, eliminate worries and anxiety.

How to Stop Thinking

How to stop thinking? Here are a few simple tips to stop paying too much attention to thoughts, ignore them, and stop them from occupying your attention.

1. Stop Overthinking

Strive to be aware when you are overthinking. Each time you discover that you are overthinking, stop to ask yourself whether you really need these thoughts and what you can do about them.

Research says dwelling on your shortcomings, mistakes, and problems increases the risk of mental health problems, weakens your focus and creates stress and anxiety.

Overthinking could also be detrimental to your mental health and focus, and you need to learn to avoid it.

2. Be More Mindful of the Present

Pay more attention to the present, to what you are doing now and to what is happening around you. This will calm down your mind.

Learning to be in the present moment helps you focus your attention on what you are doing and eliminate unnecessary thinking.

When you focus on the present moment you teach your mind to focus and, and therefore, make it easier to disregard negative thoughts that create worries, stress and anxieties.

3. Look at Things from a Wider Perspective

There is no reason to overthink about minor matters. They are not worth your time and energy.

These matters might not be important in a few minutes or in a day or two. So why waste your time and your energy on them?

Looking at things from a wider perspective makes you see things as they are, and avoid blowing them out of proportion.

4. Repeat a Mantra

A mantra is a simple word, sound or phrase that you repeat to calm your mind.

Repeating a mantra does not allow thoughts to fill your mind. Instead, you fill it with the repetitions of the mantra, which substitute your thoughts. This is a very good method to control the flow of thought in the mind, avoid racing thoughts, and stop thinking too much.

You can use any word, sound, or short inspiring phrase. The goal is to focus on the word sound or phrase and not allow the mind to roam elsewhere. You could try repeating the word “happiness”, the sound “Om”, or the phrase “I am calm and relaxed”.

Repeat your mantra over and over, while focusing your attention on it. The great thing about the mantra is that you can repeat it anytime and anywhere you are, at home, at work and outside.

5. Take Few Deep breaths

When you discover that you mind is overthinking, take a few deep breaths. This will relax your mind and your body.

6. Practice meditation

Practicing meditation, even for just a few minutes a day, is one of the best ways to learn to stop thinking and enjoy a state of inner peace.

Meditation calms the body and the mind, and makes it easier to avoid stress, anxiety and constant thinking.

Meditation gives you better control of your mind and thoughts, improves your focus, and makes the mind sharper.

For more information, visit our meditation section.

7. Recommendations

The above are a few simple steps to help you stop thinking and calm down your mind. If you wish to get deeper into this matter, reduce the number of thoughts that race through your mind and learn to stop thinking at will, I highly recommend that you read the books:

In these books, you will find all the information, guidance and exercises to help you stop your nonstop thinking and become the boss of your mind.

About the Author

My name is Remez Sasson. I am the author and creator of SuccessConsciousness.com, which I have been running since 2001. Join me on a fabulous journey to self improvement, happiness, success, positive lifestyle, conscious living and meditation, through my website, articles and books.

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How To Stop Thinking About Someone: What To Do and Why It Works

When you become «obsessed» with someone, it can feel like more than a crush to you. It can stop time, be an addictive and destructive feeling that interferes with your ability to concentrate, talk to others, and go about your normal daily routine. If you’ve thought, «Help, I can’t stop thinking about someone!» then it may be time to consider the psychological aspect of what you feel inside. Realizing each aspect may help you figure out how to stop thinking about someone. Learn how to get over a crush and how to stop liking someone in this article.

Crushes are common in the teenage years, but they do frequently persist well into adulthood, especially if you’re not able to talk to the person, ask them out, and start dating them. Some obstacles in your way might include an unavailable partner (married or dating someone else), a lack of confidence, or maybe a long distance between the two of you that makes conversation difficult. In this case, it may be helpful to figure out how to stop thinking about someone. Speaking with an online therapist is a great way to learn tools to stop thinking about someone.

Some people develop crushes on others who completely disdain them, and the lack of attraction only makes the person more obsessive. They start asking, «What can I do to impress them?» even though the answer is clearly: Nothing! We all want to feel attractive and like we’re successful in all our efforts to find love, even if those efforts are misguided at times.

Get Over A Crush: Ways To Move On

Dr. Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., wrote an article in Psychology Today, stating that romantic crushes are usually based on infatuation and «idealization.»

This means that if you’re saying, «I can’t stop thinking about someone I like!» then you might be projecting attributes onto a crush… and this person may not be anything like you imagine them to be in reality. This is one reason why therapists might advise a teenager dealing with a crush to confront their object of affection, and tell them that they «like» this person. This allows the teen to get to know the crush in a real-world setting, rather than limiting all these obsessive thoughts to his/her imagination. If there is a mutual attraction from the other person, you may be able to pursue a relationship. But even if there’s not an attraction, the belief is that once you can interact with this person and see them for who they are, you may soon realize that the romanticized feelings are false. You’re in love with the idea of the person, but not necessarily the reality of who they are.

Are You Wondering How To Stop Thinking About Someone As An Adult?

It may be more difficult to get over a crush if you’re an adult. This article may help you figure out how to stop thinking about someone soon! If you find yourself obsessing over someone you know personally, then the advice above is important to pay attention to. Ask if you can get coffee together sometime. You may find that once you get to know them, it’s clear that you idealized them before. This will clear your mind from obsessive thoughts and guide you through the steps of how to stop thinking about someone.

If you can’t meet the person that your mind can’t stay away from, there are other things to try. Finding a distraction is important. Find a new hobby or a new interest. Take a vacation. Do something kind for the needy. Date someone else, if you think you’re ready to handle getting into something new. In other words, distraction is good. Anything is better than just sitting in a room and «trying to stop thinking about a person.» You ever hear that expression, «Don’t think about pink elephants?» What happens when you stop trying to think about pink elephants? All you can think about are pink elephants. The same goes for trying to stop thoughts about someone you’re obsessed with. The more you try not to think about that person, the more you’ll end up with them on your mind, so turn to distraction instead. How stop thinking about someone? One way is to be active. This way you don’t have as much time to obsess over them.

How To Stop Thinking About Someone

Below, we’ll cover other how to stop thinking about someone.

1. Get In Touch With Your True Feelings

The first thing you need to do to get over a crush is to allow you to experience your feelings about your crush and yourself. We sometimes develop crushes because we think that person is better than we are. Another possibility is that you feel inadequate on your own and think the crush will complete you. Before you can move on with your life, you need to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to experience them. Talking to a counselor gives you a chance to describe your feelings to someone who understands. After you come to terms with your feelings, you can start to use techniques your counselor teaches you to put that person behind you.

2. Avoid Your Crush On Social Media

Social media does have some redeeming values. However, if you’re obsessed with someone, being able to follow their activities easily on social media can keep you stuck in romantic feelings for them. Avoid clicking on their profile to read their information or catch up on their posts. You can’t get to know who they are through social media anyway, so there’s no point. People post the appearance of who they want you to see. Don’t cyber stalk your crush. If someone brings up the person you have a crush on, excuse yourself from the conversation, change the subject, or move on to some other topic you find enjoyable, whether online or off.

Instead of dwelling on your crush and what they’re up to, interact with the people who bring positive value to your life through social media. Perhaps they share humorous videos, congratulate you when you’ve done well, «listen» when you’re feeling blue, or just look at life with a positive and independent attitude. These are the people who can make your social media experience worthwhile.

3. Get To Know Yourself Better

Instead of obsessing over someone else who may never care about you, take some time to get to know who you are as an individual. The better you know yourself and learn to love who you are, the less you’ll need someone else to validate you. This will allow you to take a step back and understand how to stop thinking about someone.

Do some journaling to explore the thoughts and feelings that make you who you are. Rather than writing about your crush, write about other people as well as ideas, facts, activities, and places that intrigue you. Write about what you want to do with the rest of your life. What do you want to do for a career? Where would you like to travel? Start doing some research before you write and explore your interests. Then, write your findings. Journaling not only works when you’re young. You can find out more about yourself at any time in your life.

4. Pursue Your Interests

What would you like to do that you’re not doing right now? Why have you put it off? Now is a great time to explore new interests. Choose a new activity or destination and try it out. Take a class or join a club. If you’re interested in art, go to a museum you’ve never been to. Take up a new medium. For example, if you love to paint, mix it up! If you’ve worked in watercolors before, try oils or acrylics. Approach any interest in the same way: choose a facet of that interest you’ve never tried before and give it a try.

Talk to friends about what interests them. If you hear about something that sounds fascinating, talk to them and learn more about that interest. Perhaps they can tell you where to start. Maybe they can inspire you and encourage you. Spending time with friends you have no romantic interest in is a wonderful way to know yourself better, too. It’s also a good time to meet new people and make new friends. Don’t go out looking for someone to replace your crush. Simply find people who are supportive and interested in the world.

5. Stay Focused On The Here And Now

You may find that whenever you’re obsessed with your crush, your thoughts are about another time and place. However, to be mentally healthy, you need to be aware and involved in right now and your current circumstances. A first step to reaching that goal is to learn to be more mindful. If you talk with a therapist, they can teach you about mindfulness and ways to practice it. After you learn to be mindful of your present surroundings, you can experience your life more fully, as it happens, in each moment of your life.

6. Get Involved With Your Community

Your community is the larger version of your home. Being active in community events and projects can bring great value to your life. You can be a part of something larger than yourself and help accomplish things you couldn’t do alone. You might get to know people you’ve never met before or learn a new skill. You might even get to travel to a new place where people in your community volunteer to help others. Sometimes, too, clubs and social groups go on outings to fascinating places at home or away. Along the way, you can build up a greater support system than you’ve had in the past.

Is It Time To Seek Therapy?

If your crush keeps popping up in your mind, no matter what steps you’ve taken in your life, it may be time to get help from a trained counselor. They’ve learned to deal with unwanted thoughts and feelings in ways you might never come up with on your own. They can support you as you explore your feelings and examine your thoughts to understand what’s happening to you better and to go beyond it. If you prefer, you can have therapy in your home, or anywhere you find comfortable and convenient. All you need is a reliable Internet connection and a counselor from BetterHelp. Soon, that crush can be a thing of the past, and you can build your life in a way that honors who you are. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors.

Counselor Reviews

«I was so skeptical of therapy in the beginning, but I was in a bad place and needed help, and felt I had nowhere to turn, so I took the leap. I’m so glad I did. Beth has been an absolute lifesaver. She is a great listener. She’s very intuitive. She’s not judgmental. She helps me work through things in a way I couldn’t do on my own. She can be light-hearted and funny, or firm and honest. She’s a wonderful therapist. I can’t say enough how she’s helped me. I’m so glad I found Beth and BetterHelp.»

«I am so glad I have someone like Joyce to talk with. She’s able to get to my core issues and make sense of the many things I write to her. And even though I write a lot, she responds in a timely manner. It’s been so helpful to have someone so experienced to help me sort through my issues and thoughts. I was a little skeptical about online counseling via messaging, but I think it’s a great way of communicating because I can take time to make sure that I am expressing myself the way I want to, whereas I might feel more rushed if I were talking face-to-face. I’m impressed that even though we’ve never spoken directly, Joyce still has been able to understand me and help me so much in the short time that I’ve worked with her.»

Try the tools and tips mentioned above to figure out how to stop thinking about someone, and move toward a positive life with fulfilling relationships. You can take the first step today.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What Does It Mean When A Person Is Always On Your Mind?

When you can’t stop thinking about someone, it may have two sides to it. The first is you may have an intense feeling of love and care towards the person. Sometimes, you may be unable to get someone off your mind because you really hate that person. However, the latter is quite uncommon. It’s not bad all if you like someone to the extent of complete infatuation. However, try your best not to overdo this feeling. It may help to figure out how to stop thinking about someone.

When You Can’t Stop Thinking About A Person, Are You In Their Thoughts Too?

There is a level of truth to this principle. Please note that this doesn’t necessarily mean you are obsessed about the person. Moreover, this only happens in some circumstances. For instance, for a lot of people, there has to be a mutual feeling. If the feelings are mutual, then this principle totally holds. Typically, this happens when there is a long distance between two people. Sometimes you may be longing to see them, and this kicks you into a deep line of thought. When you find yourself unable to get someone off your mind, imagine sending them a ball of white illumination.

What Does It Mean When A Person Is Always On Your Mind?

When you fall in love with someone, the person always stays on your mind. However, you can also have someone you really hate on your mind. When someone is always on your mind in ways you can’t stop, then it means you care for the person. Please try not to get too engrossed in your thoughts by meditating, visiting friends, or seeing a mental health professional.

There’s a tendency that when you’re constantly thinking of someone, you may always go through their social media or take steps that may be infringing privacy policy terms. When you want to get someone off your mind, try to imagine sending them a ball of white illumination or a ball of white light. If you have things to take off your mind, you may try contacting BetterHelp by their email address.

What Are The Signs When You Are On Someone’s Mind?

There are proven ways that show someone’s thoughts are about you. This may sound unbelievable, but when someone sneezes often or has hiccups, it may be a good sign that you are on that person’s mind. However, that’s just on the more physical view. Most of the time, when someone is thinking of you, they always try to reach out. It may be through social media or just a regular phone call. For instance, the person may subtly share a tweet related to their feelings for you.

How Can You Tell If They Miss You?

When someone really misses you, they can try to do things that show that he can’t stop having you in their mind. Some people may go as far as infringing privacy terms. It’s not necessary that the person is in a relationship with you. You may also find yourself day dreaming about them in some situations. When someone really misses you, the person may have serious issues trying to stop thoughts about you. It’s very advisable that when anyone is unable to get someone off their mind, him or her should imagine sending the person a ball of white light or a ball of white illumination. Then try enclosing that person into the white light.

Is It True When You Can’t Sleep That A Person Is Dreaming About You?

Usually, this is a psychic belief. However, it is possible that someone may be so deep in his or her thoughts about you. If you feel the same about that person, it may also affect your sleep. A dream is typically a product of what you imagine or what you wish. So, it’s possible to have someone thinking deeply about you. On the other hand, you may also really care about the person to an extent where it causes you to skip sleep for a night or two. Sometimes, this happens when you just started dating someone. Please note that it is much safer to share your thoughts with someone you trust to help your mental health.

How Do You Know If A Guy Has Thought About You A Lot?

The first thing most guys do when they miss you a lot is to call or text you very often. He will do his best to reach out. If both of you see each other every day, he will be thinking about a new day with you. Often times, you may notice that he does things like ‘cancel reply’ on social media platforms when you both are in a conversation.

Not meaning any harm, a guy that thinks a lot about you may try breaking some policy terms even on social media. Please note that there’s a difference between a guy being unable to stop thinking about you, and a guy obsessing over you.

Is It True That When You’ve Thought Of Someone They’ve Thought Of You Too?

Often times, you may find yourself daydreaming about someone; you may be thinking about a guy, and you want to be sure you’re on his mind too. Yes, it is true that someone may be thinking of you just the same way as you think of the person. The principle is simple; you get the same vibes you give off.

However, this typically never happens if the feeling is not mutual. If you’re in a long term relationship with someone, you may want to know if the person has as much love as you do for them. Please note that there’s a difference between someone being unable to get you off his mind and obsessing over you. Obsession is a mental disorder, and it’s not fun. Obsession may lead to breaking of basic privacy policy rules.

Most times, in a long term affair, both parties may not be thinking so much about each other. However, sometimes they may want to know if they still have that spark. Hence, this is where this principle helps. If you ever need to get someone off your mind, just imagine sending that person a ball of white light or a ball of white illumination.

Is It True If Someone Is On Your Mind You Are On Theirs?

It is possible that someone has you on their mind because you have that person on your mind. However, for this to happen, both parties need to have mutual feelings for each other. People are known to give out the same energy they get. So, it is possible that if you’re unable to get someone off your mind, the other party may also be feeling the same about you. If you’re in a situation where you don’t want to continue thinking about someone, you may need to see someone that may help.

What Are The Signs A Guy Has You On His Mind?

When your mind is on a guy, you may need to be assured that the guy feels the same way. One of the first things you may notice is that the guy is unable to stop thinking about you. Sometimes the guy shows he is less concerned about privacy policy issues. However, below are some helpful tips that may help you know if a guy misses you or he’s unable to get you off his mind.

Please note that there’s a difference between someone being unable to stop thinking about you and obsessing over you. Obsession is a mental disorder, and it’s not fun. Obsession may lead to breaking of basic privacy policy rules.

Why Is It Hard To Let Go Of Someone?

Many people have a love interest that they find it hard to let go of at least once in their life. Some would even say that this is true for most people. You may have a history together that makes it tough to think of a new life without them, or the bond may feel unique and special, even if it’s off-limits or didn’t last for long. Even if it’s the best thing that could happen, and even if it ended in the best way possible, letting go of someone you’re interested in often takes time. It can impact your emotional state, lead to repetitive thoughts or bargaining, and in some cases, a person might even find that it affects self worth. Start thinking about what healthy love looks like; it’s reciprocal, and it is secure. If you experience a great deal of distress in your daily life, it may be advantageous to seek the support of a professional. They may be able to offer coping skills for tough moments (for example, engaging your five senses, breathing exercises, thought reframe, or other ways of self-soothing), and they can help with long-term healing, too.

Is It True That If Someone Is Thinking About You You Dream About Them?

If you think about a certain someone in your waking life, it is possible that they’re also thinking of you, too. Thinking about one another could mean that they’ll show up in your dreams because they’re at the forefront of your mind. This doesn’t always happen, but it can. If you want to stop thinking about someone but see them in a dream, this could cause some frustration. After all, some might think of sleep as a time for temporary relief from waking thoughts that cause distress! One thing to remember is that self compassion matters during these times. It’s possible to stop thinking about someone, even if it doesn’t happen overnight. One day, you may not even remember your final thoughts about this person. If you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out to a relationship expert such as a licensed marriage and family therapist.

How Do You Let Go Of Someone?

Although it can come with a sense of pain, there are times when you might need to let go of a relationship. Maybe, you’ve entered relationships that were incompatible, or you had a relationship where didn’t feel as though your love for the other person was reciprocated. Healthy love should be reciprocal and will generally include traits such as affection and communication. To let go of someone, it can be helpful to focus on your new life. Moving forward, what do you want your life to look like? What do you want in future relationships? Some choose to take this time to focus on other people or relationships in their lives, such as the relationships they have with family members and friends. It can also be advantageous for many people to take a break from communicating with the other person or seeing them, both in person and on social media. This may make it easier to get them off your mind. If some time has passed and you still feel as though it’s challenging to let go and move forward, a licensed mental health professional may be able to help. Some people find that their self worth and emotional state are affected by circumstances such as those where one must end or let go of a relationship. Therapy can help with these factors, too.

Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Someone I Barely Know?

If you’re in a new relationship, you might think of the other person frequently, even if you’re just getting to know them. However, there are other situations where thinking about someone often could cause pain. If you want to know how to stop thinking about someone, it’s entirely possible that the person is someone you barely know. It doesn’t have to be someone that you’re close to, have been close to, or know well. Thinking about someone frequently could be caused by a lack of closure. For example, maybe you went on two dates and didn’t hear from the person. These repetitive thoughts could also be due to wishing that things went differently in the relationship. Perhaps, you dated or were in a relationship briefly, and the other person broke it off. You might be in the bargaining stage of grief and may experience repetitive thoughts like, “What could I have done differently?” or “Is it possible to get them back and enter a relationship?” It can take time to process the end of a relationship or connection, and regardless of why you can’t stop thinking of someone, it can help to get emotional support and discuss what’s on your mind in a safe space, such as therapy. You may try online therapy options like BetterHelp, or you may get support in person. There are a number of different benefits that come with trying online therapy, such as convenience and affordability. Online therapy may also open you up to a broader range of professionals. A relationship expert such as a mental health professional can be an important part of your support system and can help you find practical ways to heal as you move through this pain, so don’t hesitate to contact a professional if you need it. Though it may feel unrealistic at the moment, it is possible to get to a place in life and in your relationships that you feel good about.

Obsessing Over Someone

Are you dreaming about a person you are in love with or maybe a person you don’t even like? Therapy can help. Therapy is a personal experience, and not everyone will go into it seeking the same things. Keeping this in mind can ensure that you will get the most out of online therapy when you keep dreaming about a person, regardless of what your specific goals are. If you’re still wondering if therapy is right for you when you can’t stop thinking about them, and how much therapy costs, please contact us at contact@betterhelp.com. BetterHelp specializes in online therapy to help address all types of mental health concerns. If you’re interested in individual therapy when you keep thinking about someone, reach out today to get started. For more information about BetterHelp as a company, please find us on:

Final Thoughts

Moving forward is a process when you can’t stop thinking about someone, but it is possible. Individuals who face concerns like this can heal, and if this is something you’re going through, you don’t have to do it alone. Join BetterHelp to try online therapy, or look for a relationship expert in your area.

How To Stop Thinking About Someone: 12 Steps

One of the most important skills in life is learning how to stop thinking about someone. Everyone wants to forget someone – an ex girlfriend or boyfriend, a toxic friend, an abusive relative, the list goes on.

Sometimes distractions help, like talking to new, understanding people.

But stopping a nostalgic or resentful train of thought is harder than it seems. Pull the emergency brake and follow these steps for how to stop thinking about someone, both right now and in the long term.

Fast ways to forget about someone

(Pro tip: talking to someone else, like in a 24/7 anonymous chat, is the fastest.)

1. Stop virtual stalking

The last thing you need when you’re figuring out how to stop thinking about someone is constant notifications about them. Unfollow, unsubscribe and unfriend!

Constantly checking who they’re hanging out with or what they’re up to is only going to slow down your recovery. Regular posts about them can also cause unpleasant flashbacks. Do yourself a favor and remove the temptation by removing them on social media or blocking them. Also remove any of their friends with whom you aren’t close.

2. Toss nostalgic memorabilia

Physical reminders also make it harder to forget someone. Get rid of all of the items that remind you of them!

Maybe it’s a hoodie, a framed picture, or photos on your phone. If these items have financial value and you’re reluctant to throw them away, consider boxing them up and leaving them with a friend. Your emotional connection to them may fade eventually.

3. No contact rule

We’ve all been there — you may feel tempted to contact the person and stir the pot of emotions again. Don’t fall into this trap. Follow the no contact rule!

Don’t text, call, or message them, and minimize contact any way you can. This means avoiding places you know they visit often, like their favorite coffee shop. While you may think you want to see or talk to them again, all you’re doing is indulging masochistic drives and torturing yourself.

If you really have to communicate with this person for financial, logistical, or other reasons, consider appointing a friend as a go-between. If this person needs to get you a message, they can send it to your friend, and vice versa.

4. Move your body

Don’t sit at home all day and ruminate about this person. Go out and experience the world by yourself or with other positive people in your life.

Even better, try some hobbies you couldn’t engage in while this person was around in your life. No matter what you choose to do, engage yourself in something physical and remind yourself that an entire world exists without them.

5. Transport your mind

If you can’t get up and go out, try some techniques to shift your mind space. This can be as simple as closing your eyes and imagining a place you love to be in.

If that’s too unstructured for you, try asking a friend if you can help with something on their mind. Attending to others’ problems easily removes you from your immediate world. You can also read an engrossing novel or watch something on Netflix.

Let your mind roam where this person doesn’t occupy and can’t intrude.

6. Imagine a future, when you’ll be with someone who…

Slow ways to get someone out of your head

7. Forgive to forget

This one is really difficult for many people, but just as essential. This person probably hurt you, bad, in some way. For your own sake, not theirs, don’t wish ill upon them. Fueling yourself with constant anger will make it harder to forget this person.

One way to do this is to imagine yourself sending this person a ball of white light and surrounding them with it. You can also try drafting a letter to them, and achieve closure by releasing emotions.

8. Respect yourself

How to stop thinking about someone that you still love? How about thinking of someone else you still love — yourself!

Often, we put people on pedestals even if they mistreated us, causing obsessive thoughts, self-blame and doubt. You deserve better.

Build yourself up by engaging in empowering activities and thinking about your own emotional needs. One example of this is treating yourself to an entire self care day.

9. Let yourself feel the pain

All of the strategies used to move on only work if you’ve allowed yourself the proper time to grieve. The end of any relationship, even if it was toxic, can be painful.

Trying to move on without validating your emotions can lead to denial and suppression – building up the pressure in a bottle you’ll eventually have to open.

Before you try to forget, walk yourself through the course of what happened with this person. Let yourself feel the pain and sadness that is due, and then let it go.

10. Avoid substances

In the search for a quick fix brain cleanse, you may consider falling back on alcohol or other substances. While these may offer temporary relief, they also dig you into a deeper pit.

Substances can also lower your inhibitions, making it easier to contact the person you want to forget – and then you’ll have to start this whole process over again. Put down the shot glasses and find other ways to distract yourself, like talking to understanding strangers.

11. Look forward with excitement

Learn to accept that you can’t go back in time and change what happened. However, this person is not a permanent mark on your life — there’s so much more to come.

Consider sharing your excitement for the future with supportive folks!

You have the ability to mold yourself by learning from past experiences. Whether these experiences were good or bad, each relationship we have gives us wisdom we can apply to the future. You’ve already learned that you deserve better, that you are resilient and that you are capable.

12. Talk to someone else!

Hopefully these tips on how to stop thinking about someone have helped you feel better today. If you’re seeking support and need help distracting yourself from a certain individual, consider reaching out to Supportiv’s peer support network.

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Stop thinking about work all the time

How to stop thinking about work (so you can relax)

Before we get into some tips and suggestions to help you stop feeling overwhelmed by work, let’s take a look at some relevant statistics.

Statistics show we don’t know how to stop thinking about work, and it’s affecting our health

Statistics show we don’t know how to stop thinking about work, and it’s affecting our health

Wondering how to stop thinking about work? It’s an all too common scenario.

It’s 2am. You’re in bed after a strenuous day. You can’t stop thinking about a project you were working on this morning.

It involved solving a tricky supply chain problem with a lot of moving parts. You spent hours trying to figure it out, but didn’t manage to find a solution in time for the workday to end.

But now, when you’re supposed to be switching off for rest, your mind is whirring. Sleep seems like a lost cause.

When work takes center stage in your mental landscape when it’s not supposed to, it’s time for an intervention. But how can you make it happen?

Here are a few ways to stop thinking about work, from immediate interventions to longer-term lifestyle changes.

If you’ve procrastinated, deal with the thing you’re worrying about

Well, not quite. More like try not to leave work unfinished if you can.

This one might seem a little counterintuitive, or even controversial. But sometimes the only way to deal with the demands your brain is making of you is to give in to them.

This isn’t necessarily the most healthy behavior long-term. Letting work intrude into your personal life more than occasionally is one way to bring on burnout, because you’re not giving yourself the mental space to recharge properly. Over time, that can compound into stress and eventually burnout, so it’s important to build your working life in a way that prevents these scenarios from happening.

But if you’ve become a victim of your own procrastination, with the weight of unfinished work hanging on your shoulders, sometimes the only remedy is to clear your desk, get a drink, put your headphones on and get down to business.

In a way, it’s a simple question of efficiency. If the task you’re procrastinating will take one hour of work, then you lose an hour doing it. If you put it off and it’s sat at the back of your mind, occasionally coming to the front to give you a mini stab of anxiety, that can mean countless hours that you never really had in the first place. If you can promise yourself two hours of pure guilt-free relaxation after finishing your task, then it’s clearly worth spending the one hour smashing through it.

Science backs this up, too. The Zeigarnik Effect is a documented psychological phenomenon where you’re more likely to remember things that are left unfinished than those you finished. Named after Russian psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik, it identified how our brains have strong needs to see things through to completion. Without the closure of a boxed-off task, the issue remains floating around our consciousness, periodically reminding us of its importance until it gets resolved (this is why TV show cliffhangers are so powerful at getting us to return to watch the next episode).

Find other things to focus on

One way to stop think thinking about work is to give your mind something else to turn towards.

Jane McGonigal is a PhD game designer and neuroscientist advocating for the use of games to help build healthy brains and agile mindsets. If you’re not convinced video games can be a healthy and productive use of time, her conversation at the Knowledge Project may well convince you otherwise:

«Every time you play a game, you’re choosing how to spend your time and attention. That’s a decision we are constantly making that is often operating at a subconscious level and we don’t necessarily take ownership of it. If you ask yourself, why am I playing this game? And why did I want to play it now? I think that actually can help you develop more clarity in all of the things you do.«

Alongside the positive effects on your focus that gaming can have, they can also help reduce anxiety by causing you to run through multiple scenarios and map out how you might respond. Sure, you probably won’t encounter dragons or wizards in your working life, but the mental models you learn by dealing with them in games can be mapped onto real-world problems.

If you prefer non-digital forms of focus, you can always try other forms of gaming, like board gaming with those you live with or other collaborative pursuits like jigsaws, quizzes and craft projects. Or pick up a fun, new hobby like learning to play an instrument.

Talk it out

Like most issues that we tend to ruminate on, it helps to ease the burden by sharing your concerns with a trusted listener.

In the workplace, it might just be a case of getting a coffee with a colleague and explaining the pickle you find yourself in. You might just need a sympathetic ear to vent your frustrations with; a little validation for your distress can go a long way in making you feel like you’re not alone. An emotional balm like this might soothe your work anxiety and let you move on to other concerns.

Your manager, of course, can help you with certain tasks or challenges you’re facing, but there’s a decent chance that they might be part of the problem, too.

One option is to try working with a performance coach; a neutral party outside of your company that can offer support and guidance for workplace issues that are broader in scope than technical. If you’re stuck thinking on how to get ahead in your career, or how to tackle a big new project, a coach might be your best option, and will likely have useful insights into how to stop thinking about work when you need to disconnect.

Rethink your lifestyle

Your incessant out-of-hours work thinking might be triggered by other non-work factors, too. A few lifestyle tweaks might help mitigate the runaway train of work rumination in your off hours.

Firstly, caffeine, found in coffee, tea, chocolate and energy drinks, might help you boost focus during work, but you pay the price afterwards, as the withdrawal crash contributes to anxiety and difficulty sleeping.

Lack of sleep (or poor-quality sleep) also contributes to anxiety and wandering thoughts. Dreaming is sometimes referred to as ‘overnight therapy’ for its ability to help us work through concerns that our daytime consciousness hasn’t resolved.

So addressing these issues by cutting down on the stimulants (especially in the afternoon) and practicing healthy sleep habits can have a huge impact on your daily mental wellbeing and ability to relax properly.

And then there’s exercise. Even after a busy working day when you’re really not in the mood, fitting in at least a few minutes of movement that gets your heart beating will have really positive effects. As mentioned on the Harvard health blog:

«Engaging in exercise diverts you from the very thing you are anxious about. Moving your body decreases muscle tension, lowering the body’s contribution to feeling anxious. Getting your heart rate up changes brain chemistry, increasing the availability of important anti-anxiety neurochemicals.«

There’s already enough advice out there regarding meditation, so we won’t go into it too much. But even a small amount of regular mindfulness can seriously help clear your mind from intrusive thoughts. Single sessions probably won’t act as a magic balm that defends you from all work related thought, though. You’ll probably feel better after doing it, but opening your eyes and coming back to reality might make you think «That was great, I’ll do that again next time I’m thinking about work when I shouldn’t. oh right, work.» And then you’re thinking about work again!

Schedule a ‘worry time’

This idea comes from Laura Vanderkam, a time management and productivity expert. She recommends scheduling time to think about a particular problem, and giving yourself permission to procrastinate dealing with it until then.

Having a designated time for chewing over gives you the freedom to relax in the other parts of your day:

«Often, your brain just needs to know that there’s a time for thinking about that issue–and now is not that time.«

It might not be the most rigorous scientific concept, but simple tricks like these often turn out to be the most effective. In this case there’s no complicated system and it doesn’t rely on willpower.

Consider a four-day work week

Seeing as how the main cause of work-related stress, anxiety and depression is an overwhelming workload (including tight deadlines, too much responsibility and lack of managerial support), it might be hard to imagine how you could possibly fit your current workload into a four day week.

But emerging research shows that the four day work week is more than just a pipe dream; it has been proven to drastically improve productivity and employee wellbeing.

It also appears promising for addressing gender and economic inequalities, along with crisis-provoked unemployment levels. It is also looking like a potential weapon against global warming.

If you aren’t in a leadership position, you could start a conversation with your manager by sharing our comprehensive guide (with statistics) that answers everything you’ve wanted to know about the four day work week. You could also share the statistics from this blog with them, along with our articles on job burnout statistics and work-life balance stats.

The four-day week is not viable for every single company or industry, but reports show that it’s not only viable for huge companies. In fact, small- and medium-sized companies can experience enormous benefits as well. And with entire countries currently looking at implementing it, it’s a great time to get on board, or at least start the conversation with your team.

Schedule a free demo to learn how F4S can help your team to work more effectively, be more resilient and feel less stressed.

Stop thinking about work all the time with fast AI coaching.

Our programs were designed by world-renown coaches, and sessions only take 5-15 minutes. Get started for free with personalized program now by chatting in the box below:

7 Powerful Ways to Stop Negative Thinking

Featured Life-Balance, & Personal Development Author Read full profile

Negative thinking is a much more common problem than you may think. Many of us experience them every single day. That’s why it’s important to understand what they are, where they come from, and how you can overcome them.

Negative thoughts are the thoughts we have that essentially cause us to adopt pessimistic points of view. Negative thinking leads us to focus on the worst aspects or possible outcomes of a given situation instead of the positives. This negative thinking can cause us to experience a great deal of stress, worry, and sadness as long as we continue to adopt these thought patterns.

Here are a few examples of some common negative thought patterns:

I won’t attempt to chase my dreams because I know only a few people make it. I’m not going to be one of those people, so why even bother trying.

I would love to take on a new role at work, but will I even be able to handle that? If I try and fail, people may only see me as a failure. This could make my life at work more difficult and less satisfying.

I wish I could give presentations like that person. But I’m just not good at public speaking and it scares me. I guess it just wasn’t written in the stars for me. It’s not one of my skills and I can’t get over my fear.

If you can relate to any of these thoughts, then this article might just be exactly what you’re looking for.

Table of Contents

What Causes Negative Thinking?

Negative thinking is mainly a result of fear.

Nobody likes feeling afraid, and very few of us enjoy facing our fears. But fear is the source of our negative thinking. Fear paralyzes us and prevents us from pursuing the things we truly want in life as we attempt to avoid negative outcomes.

For many, a big one is fear of the unknown. When we don’t know, or we can’t predict an outcome of a situation, we choose to play it safe. This often leads us to adopt a pessimistic point of view.

Though this negative thinking may allow us to avoid our fears, such as preventing us from ever having to get up on a stage and give a speech, it will prevent us from reaching our full potential. In the long-term, this often leads to greater dissatisfaction and more regret than adopting a more optimistic point of view and taking a risk pursuing more positive thoughts.

This is why it’s so important to become aware of what scares us and prevent it from negatively impacting our minds in this manner.

So, are there any common negative thoughts people have? This is a difficult concept because each and every one of us is unique. This means one situation that may cause an individual to engage in negative thinking may actually trigger a different person to adopt a positive thought approach.

For example, consider we have two people. One has spent their entire life training to be an athlete and never studied a day in their life, while the other individual has spent their entire life studying and has never once exercised.

If we were to have these two compete in an athletic event, who do you think would be more likely to adopt a positive pattern of thinking? Likewise, if we were to have these two compete in a trivia event, who might then be more likely to adopt a positive thought pattern?

My point here is that what causes negative thinking in anybody is subjective. It’s going to vary.

That being said, there are some common fears, so here are some of the most common negative thoughts:

I’m not good enough to achieve that goal so I guess there’s no point in even trying. Besides, if I try and fail then people might think I’m a failure.

I couldn’t possibly be as good as him/her at that, they’re so naturally talented. Even if I worked hard I won’t get that good. Unfortunately, I don’t have what it takes.

I wish I was as good looking as those movie stars and models. Then people would like me and I would be super popular.

How to Stop Negative Thinking

Finding ways to challenge negative thinking isn’t easy, nor is it simple. It takes careful planning, patience, and a good amount of effort to truly master your mindset. However, finding ways that enable you to overcome your negative thinking is truly satisfying.

Funnily enough, as we attempt to overcome our negative thought patterns, negative thinking itself can impede our progress. Again, we need to be patient and retain a positive mindset. Life developing any skill, this will take time and practice.

The first step to overcoming negative thinking is understanding your thoughts, what triggers negative thinking for you — Is it a person, a place, a certain experience? Take note of them. These insights will allow us to recognize negative thought patterns in our lives.

The next step is to begin establishing a plan that will help you to combat your negative thinking in these circumstances. Once you’ve created a plan that you think will work for you, it’s time to try it out.

Then, it’ll just be an ongoing process of tweaking this plan as you move forward to figure out which strategies best help you overcome your negative thinking.

Here’re 7 powerful ways you should start trying:

1. Don’t Try to Stop Your Negative Thoughts Altogether

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that what you focus on becomes your reality. This is the idea behind my next point.

If you spend most of your time thinking about how to stop your negative thoughts all the time, what do you think your focus will be on? Your thoughts will always be on your negative thoughts of course! This will only increase your anxiety and make you feel worse.

The more you focus on your negative thinking, the more likely it is to have an influence on you and your daily functioning. Your goal, thus, shouldn’t be to eliminate your negative thoughts completely, but to be able to recognize them more efficiently so that you can combat them when they do arise!

Simply saying you won’t ever have a negative thought won’t help you overcome your negative thinking. It can only ever serve you as a short-term strategy. This is because regardless of how hard you try, you are at some point going to have negative thoughts. And if you haven’t taken the time to develop your systems for overcoming that negative thinking, then it will begin to take over you.

2. Understand Your Thinking Styles

If you can understand your thoughts, it’s possible to begin controlling the outcomes that they are having on you.

So take a moment to assess how you think right now. Do you tend to be optimistic or do you tend to adopt a more negative point of view? Do you approach situations positively or negatively? These are the types of questions you can ask yourself to help shine some light on your thinking styles.

If you’ve determined that you’ve got a negative approach to your thinking style, think about why that might be. Do you tend to adopt negative thoughts in certain situations over others? Is there a particular event, situation, person, or place that triggers negative thinking for you consistently?

Once you’ve identified the source of your negative thinking, the next step is to begin putting a plan in place to tackle the issue!

3. Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

After you’ve identified your common negative thoughts, try to find ways that you can begin to challenge them.

Ask yourself whether the thoughts you’re having are realistic. Are they true depictions of the situation? Or, are your fears and negative approaches causing your negative thoughts to be exaggerated?

Would you support the thought if someone else had it? For example, if your closest friend said that they would never be good enough to get that next promotion, would you support that thinking? Or, would you step in and remind them how great they are?

Start using these strategies for your own thinking as well. Don’t give your negative thoughts a free-pass.

4. Release Your Judgment

It’s just the reality of being a human that we all make assumptions, have biases, and make judgments of others based on our experiences. It’s one of the foundations for phenomena like stereotyping and discrimination. But this comparing of ourselves to others can also serve as a method through which we put ourselves down.

When we set goals for ourselves, we tend to look at people who have already accomplished those goals. We look and think about how much better they are than us. Why they were able to achieve that goal and why we never will be able to. These negative thoughts rush in and drag us down.

So try to let go of these types of judgments where you compare yourself to others. You’ll feel free when you finally achieve this.

The best way I’ve found to do this is to begin reflecting more consciously on your thinking. Recognize where this negative thinking stems from within you, what stereotypes, assumptions, and biases you are allowing to generate these negative thoughts in your life. Then find ways to alter this line of thinking.

5. Learn How to Cope with Criticism

Though there is absolutely nothing wrong with standing up and defending yourself in certain situations, we can all work on being better receivers of criticisms, especially when these are serving constructive purposes.

Lots of negative thinking can occur when someone criticises us. We begin to focus only on the negative things they said. We make up reasons as to why we aren’t good enough. This is something that can easily be avoided by learning how to cope with criticism.

One of the ways that I have been able to do this is by looking at criticisms as opportunities rather than shortcomings. If someone says my writing lacks emotion, that doesn’t mean I’m a bad writer, it simply means I need to focus on this aspect of my writing to further develop it. This criticism has provided me with the opportunity to become a better writer.

If you want some tips on how to do this, check out this article: Why a Criticism Is Better Than a Compliment

6. Focus on Your Strengths

I’m sure if you reflect for a moment on the comments you remember people making about you, the majority are negative. This is because as humans, we tend to focus on the negatives and overlook the positives in our life. We dwell on our mistakes and shortcomings while brushing aside our successes and positive traits.

So try to shift your focus. This can go a long way to helping you overcome your negative thinking. The more you shift the focus of your mentality to positive things in your life, the easier it is going to be for you to think and act positively! [1]

Try writing out a few positive things about yourself right now as an exercise. Then next time when you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself, either pull these positive statements out or write out a few new ones!

If you think that you might need some help with that, take a look at this article: How to Become Successful 10 Times Easier: Don’t Focus on Improving Your Faults

7. Seek Professional Support When Needed

The final thing I will mention about negative thinking is that you should never, at any point, feel the need to take it on all by yourself.

If your negative thinking at any point becomes overwhelming or begins to interfere with your daily activities, recognize that you may need help to conquer it. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support if you ever feel you need it. There are tons of people who are willing and eager to help you.

These supports change lives. So if you feel that you might benefit from them, make sure you take advantage of them!

Final Thoughts

Negative thinking is nothing that anyone should be continually subjected to. You deserve to be happy.

Understanding the root of negative thinking is the first step to overcoming it. So make use of the strategies mentioned above and stop letting these thoughts hold you back from moving forward!