How do i explain this feeling

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English

how do i explain this feeling

Malay

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Malay

English

i don’t like this feeling

Malay

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English

Malay

maksud bagaimana saya melihat

Last Update: 2022-05-08
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English

how do i know you?

Malay

awak tahu kan saya macam mana?

Last Update: 2020-11-11
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English

how do i address you

Malay

bagaimana saya menasihati anda

Last Update: 2019-12-06
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English

how do i know? well.

Malay

bagaimana saya tahu? baiklah.

Last Update: 2017-10-30
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English

how do people do this?

Malay

macam mana diorang buat tu?

Last Update: 2021-08-21
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English

this feeling starting force

Malay

perasaan ini mulai memaksa

Last Update: 2017-08-11
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English

how do i make a payment

Malay

macam mana saya nak buat pembayaran

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English

Malay

maksud apa yang saya peduli

Last Update: 2019-11-30
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English

Malay

aku x batak kawan

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English

Malay

jangan ganggu hidup aku

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English

Malay

tak payah sebuk hal aku

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English

Malay

begitu juga dengan rumah saya

Last Update: 2022-01-03
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English

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begitu juga dengan saya

Last Update: 2021-03-08
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English

Malay

begitu juga denham rumah saya

Last Update: 2022-01-03
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English

Malay

Last Update: 2021-07-12
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English

Malay

maksud saya tahu awak

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English

how do i contact courier service?

Malay

bilakah saya akan menerima item saya?

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English

how do i deworm my turtle?? 🙄

Malay

maksud baru-baru ini

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Malay

where are you going

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How to Get Better at Expressing Emotions

Extroverts tend to be better at talking about their feelings, but practice and attention can help those without a natural gift for it.

The term emotional intelligence has now reigned for 20 years. Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book of the same name popularized the idea that the capacity to understand and wield emotional information is a crucial skill.

Part of that is expressing emotions, be it through writing, body language, or talking with other people, and researchers are finding that unlatching the cage and letting those emotional birds fly free could have some real health benefits. Some studies have linked the repression of negative emotions to increased stress, and research suggests that writing about feelings is associated with better health outcomes for breast-cancer patients, people with asthma, and people who’ve experienced a traumatic event. And in a study of people who lived to be 100 years old, emotional expression was found to be a common trait, along with a positive attitude toward life, among the long-lived.

So expressing emotions, on the whole, seems to be good for you. But if you’re someone who is used to holding them in, that could be easier said than done. And the solution is not necessarily to just pop the top off that champagne bottle of emotions and watch them spray all over the place. You might not even know what’s in there!

Emotional intelligence is a skill, and some people are better at recognizing and communicating emotions than others. Among the Big Five personality traits—openness, extroversion, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and neuroticism—several studies have found that people high in extroversion tend to have higher emotional expressiveness, while people high in neuroticism tend to be less expressive.

Like other skills, the ability to communicate feelings can be strengthened through practice, and a big part of it is first recognizing the emotions you’re having, as well as what’s causing them.

I spoke with the psychologist David Caruso, who is a co-founder of the Emotional Intelligence Skills Group (not the actor with the sunglasses from CSI: Miami) and who trains organizations and schools on emotional intelligence, about overcoming personal and cultural barriers to expressing emotions.

A lightly edited and condensed transcript of our conversation follows.

Julie Beck: What are the benefits of being good at expressing your own emotions?

David Caruso: So we like to say that emotions are data, and emotions communicate meaning and intent. It’s critically important to know that I’m either irritated with someone because they’re late for a meeting or I’m concerned because they’re late for a meeting and maybe something’s happened to them. So since emotions are a form of data or information, it’s important to accurately convey those to people and in a way that they will also accurately perceive.

Beck: Is there a difference between the benefits of communicating it to other people and just recognizing it in yourself?

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Caruso: I think if you don’t know it in yourself to start with, your communications will be somewhat off, a little bit. How do I feel about this situation? And what do I want the other person to learn? Or what’s the message I want to communicate? So it’s got to start with that accurate self-awareness. And certainly the benefits are clarity of communication, [fewer] misunderstandings between people.

To do it all the time can actually be exhausting, if you don’t do this automatically, if you have to really manually kind of process the information. It takes more time; it can be emotionally exhausting as well. So this is not necessary for routine communications. But I think for the more important things it’s absolutely critical.

Beck: Obviously different people are better or worse at this. Are there certain personality traits or factors that are linked to people having more of a natural ability to communicate their emotions?

Caruso: So emotional intelligence is truly an intelligence in our theory and in the way we’ve measured it.

Beck: Who’s we in that?

Caruso: We would be … Emotional intelligence is sort of a Rorschach, it means whatever you want it to mean. So this is the ability model of emotional intelligence that says emotional intelligence is a standard intelligence, emotions are data, emotions can help you think, you can reason about emotions, and also you can reason with emotions. That is a theory first proposed by Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey, and they are two of my closest friends and colleagues. Jack is a professor of psychology at the University of New Hampshire and Peter is a professor of psychology and currently president of Yale University. That’s the we.

Beck: So going back to people who are better or worse at doing this.

Caruso: Yeah, well first of all, people who are more extroverted will talk more. We like people who are emotionally expressive for the most part, especially if they are emotionally expressive around positive emotions. That would be the trait of agreeableness.

Beck: There was a study I was reading yesterday that said being “ambivalent over emotional expression” was linked to feeling badly. “Ambivalent” meant either they wanted to express emotions but they weren’t able to, or they expressed emotions and kind of wished they hadn’t. That inner conflict over whether people should be sharing their feelings, does that affect people a lot?

Caruso: I think that sits within this framework fairly well, because if you’re high in emotional intelligence, what you’re very skilled at is first, of course, knowing how you feel, and knowing how to express those feelings in a way that’s going to be heard. I don’t think there’s ambivalence in that case.

The ambivalence may be because I’m unsure if I should be feeling this way, and then even if I’m sure that these feelings are indeed justified, I’m not actually positive how I can express those in kind of a constructive way. Or will I be judged for that? Or will it come out the wrong way? So if you’re really good at this, you should be confident in your ability to trust that feeling and express it in a constructive, appropriate way.

Beck: What’s the role of culture in all this? Do you think expressing emotions is encouraged in American culture?

Caruso: I prefer to think about cultures. Every organization or every family has a culture and the largest differences around emotions are called cultural-display rules. I think all cultures recognize the basic emotions and they’re all expressed the same way, but those display rules, which are a function of our culture, tell us how do we show those emotions. Say, with anger. Do we yell and scream? Is anger more genteel? How we express these is completely driven by those cultural-display rules. If you don’t know those, and again, culture can be [in] the place you work, you’re seen as an outlier. And maybe as lacking what people would call communication skills. You don’t get these implicit display rules because nobody ever tells you what those are.

Beck: You mentioned earlier, and I’ve seen this around as well, that people are more comfortable with positive emotions being expressed than negative emotions.

Caruso: The other part of your question was about expressivity in American culture. When I do my training on emotional intelligence in the United States, I ask the question, “How are you?” Or even, we began our phone call with, “How are you? Is this still a good time?” Well, it sounds to me that either maybe it’s cold there or you’re coming down with a cold, right? [I do have a cold, actually. –JB] If we actually asked that question “How are you?” and we really meant it, what you might have said is, “I’ve got a lot of deadlines, I’m looking at the clock, I have a call at 10:40, I hope this is not a waste of time, I’m tired, I’m exhausted, I’m not feeling well, Thanksgiving is coming up. So that’s how I feel, David, how are you?” And my answer would have been, “Frankly, I woke up at 2 a.m., work is extremely stressful, and I’m slightly concerned about my daughter so I’m anxious.”

American culture demands that the answer to the question “How are you?” is not just “Good” but sometimes “Great.” Or—this drives folks around the world crazy, who might be based in another country but they work for an American company—we need to be “Awesome.” There’s this relentless drive to mask the expression of our true underlying feelings. It’s almost inappropriate.

Beck: The worst answer you’re allowed to give is “Okay.” And if you’re okay, then everything is terrible.

Caruso: “Okay” means “I’m deeply troubled, and there’s things I want to talk about,” but you’re not actually even asking me that question. It’s more of a greeting. It’s polite. But again, culture drives that. And in the U.S., we say we’re great, when actually we maybe mean, “I’m depressed, I’m really pissed.” So it’s actually a terrible question to ask. I think you have to ask in a way that invites an answer. Or you can say, “What else is going on? What does your day look like? What are you concerned with?” And use a sincere tone.

Beck: That is a thing you will see come up a lot in the descriptions of American culture they sometimes put on university websites for international students. Like, “Just so you know, they don’t want an answer when they say ‘How are you?’”

Caruso: Whereas in other cultures … I’ve done some work in Germany. If you say “Wie geht’s?” you’ll sit down and you’ll have a conversation about life and about philosophy and about what’s going on.

I’ve been to Tokyo a number of times, and there it’s really kind of inappropriate to share those personal feelings. That’s all culturally driven. And you better figure those things out before you get yourself into trouble.

Beck: How do you think that overarching sense of “be positive!” that we have—at least performatively in social situations—is affecting people’s ability to communicate or express their feelings?

Caruso: What you just said, I would 100 percent agree with you, because what it says is we’re not allowing people to be genuine, to be authentic, and to share. And I think it’s going to limit our relationships. Really good quality long-term interpersonal relationships are based on shared experience but also the ability to share how we are feeling at that time. But if you are always expected to say “great,” you’re never going to have that level of intimacy that you need in a really good relationship.

Beck: So it’s just a barrier to get through.

Caruso: It’s a huge barrier. Especially if you’re not this hale, hearty, well-met extroverted type. You don’t have to be that. You don’t have to be a phony. I teach people to simply use emotion words. And that’s extremely easy.

Great example: Someone might say, “How was lunch?” “Oh, it was awful, I really hated it.” Then you stop and say, “Wait a minute, you hated your lunch? You hate your lunch?” “Well, no, I mildly disliked it.” That’s incredibly important because hate is a very powerful feeling. And so you need to be able to differentiate and distinguish between levels of intensity around emotions. And rather than “fine” or “okay,” you could also simply say “I’m somewhat distracted this morning” or “I’m concerned” versus “I have a panicked feeling.” I think people can, in their own quiet, more introverted way—in their own voice, if you will—use more of what we would call feeling words. Of which there are hundreds, if not thousands.

Beck: Do you have other specific, research-based tips to help people recognize their own emotions, by themselves, and then also effectively communicate them to other people?

Caruso: [Pay more attention to] physiological signals. Like tension—I feel my jaw is tense, there’s tension around my eyes. Am I worried, am I anxious, am I angry? So I’m mildly anxious right now, let’s say. The next part is to ask yourself, “And what are the possible causes of that?” And this is really key in terms of not just expressing emotions, but in terms of decision making.

So the moral of that story is not just to do that physiological check. Step two is to ask yourself, “Where is it coming from?” and “Is that anxiety related to the communication I’m about to make? A decision I’m about to make? Or an email I’m about to send? Where is that irritation coming from? Where is the anger coming from? Is it a leftover mood because traffic was terrible today? Or damn it, I’m getting a cold again and I can’t afford it?”

If I know that, I’m then able to better manage my emotions and express my feelings in a way that will send a good, accurate message and my decisions are cleaner, clearer, and just a hell of a lot better.

Beck: And then having good communication obviously goes both ways. But a lot of people are uncomfortable having emotional conversations—what are some ways that they can be good at listening as well as sharing?

Caruso: Certainly all the body language, the mirroring of others, nodding of your head. And a real quickie of course is the classic of not repeating what the other person just said, but paraphrasing. So paraphrasing shows, a) I was really listening, and b) I got it. I heard what you said. So that kind of paraphrasing is very, very helpful I think.

Beck: Is there advice you’d have for people who are uncomfortable with those conversations? Can they get better at it? Do they just kind of have to push through it?

Caruso: You have to practice at it. Start with someone you know, a trusted colleague, friend, or something like that. Start at a low level of intensity. Not when you’re truly enraged, but when you’re mildly irritated. I would first practice that.

You can also try that and actually take a video selfie of you expressing those kinds of things, because you may feel you’re getting the message across but you’re listening to your own voice inside your own head, which isn’t really great. I think when people hear themselves and see themselves, they’re sometimes appalled by their facial expressions, their gesticulation and those kinds of things. And then practice those things, using emotion words.

And do all this while also leveraging emotion-management strategies. You may have a valid reason for being angry with someone or a situation, but if you start yelling and screaming at that person, your message is going to get lost, because the other person is just going to become immediately defensive.

There are both preventative and responsive strategies. Preventative: Is this the time and the place to have this conversation? Do we need to have this conversation now? If so, where do we do it? Is it me sitting behind my desk? Do I email or do I text someone? Or does this really require a phone call? So you want to think about that ahead of time.

Then take a deep breath before you start expressing those feelings. In the moment you can do a bit of a timeout. People say count to 10—if you can count to 10 you’re a Jedi master. But, you know, count to two. Pause for a moment. And then the classic, of course, is: Respond to that angry email, but don’t send it.

What I do is I hit reply, I delete the person’s name, I type my reply, I let it sit there for a few minutes. And 100 percent of the time—not sometimes, 100 percent of the time—I make some changes in that email. Because otherwise I would’ve regretted it.

Beck: Was there anything else that you wanted to bring up?

Caruso: One other thing to mention to you: I’ve been doing this work for a really long time and I always would tell people that all emotions have data and are adaptive, including things like anxiety, sadness, and anger. And especially in the United States, no one ever believes me. Because again, there’s this relentless pursuit to always express positive emotions. And my job has gotten so much easier since this summer when Pixar came out with the movie Inside Out.

Beck: I knew you were going to say that.

Caruso: I will now have people tell me, “Oh, David, have you seen Inside Out? Because don’t you know that even sadness and even anger can be [helpful]?” It’s really made my job so much easier.

How do i explain this feeling

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( 30 698 )

How do I explain how I feel to my client?

So I have a new client in a field I love translating in. I’ve done a couple of jobs for them and they said they were delighted with my work. They didn’t negotiate my rate or anything.
I did a little bit extra for them, proofreading bits that had already been done by another translator. They didn’t ask me to, but I felt it was needed and it didn’t take me too long, for a much more professional result, with a text that read smoothly.

So I have a new client in a field I love translating in. I’ve done a couple of jobs for them and they said they were delighted with my work. They didn’t negotiate my rate or anything.
I did a little bit extra for them, proofreading bits that had already been done by another translator. They didn’t ask me to, but I felt it was needed and it didn’t take me too long, for a much more professional result, with a text that read smoothly.

Now they’ve asked me to do another job. They said they had a budget of 250 euros max. When I worked it out, it actually came to 256 euros. I was willing to discount the extra, I’m not one to quibble over a few euros and they were saying they wanted to always give me first refusal for all their texts.

Then it turned out that they were expecting me to do another text as well for that price, which I would normally have billed about 70 euros. The woman seemed to imply in her email that since their texts were usually smaller than what I have to do right now, the next few projects would probably make up for this if she continued to pay flat rates of 250 euros each time. She also seemed to think that telling me I would be their official translator from now on would flatter me to the point that I’d overlook the 70 euros.

At this point, I fell sick (last Wednesday) and I haven’t felt up to calling to discuss this problem. The work needs to be handed in next Wednesday, I’ll need to start on the translation on Monday to be able to do it justice.

The way I see it, is that I have no way of knowing whether I’m the only translator they use, and I don’t see how it’s such an honour to potentially get cheated out of 70 euros any time I earn 250.
At the same time, I would really really like to work with these people because it’s interesting (I know I have problems saying no in this kind of situation).

I’m still not very well and can’t think straight enough to be able to think this through and see how to negotiate this. I’m also fretting that because I’ve let time slip by, they’ll be annoyed at having to find a solution quickly even though there was plenty of time.

Basically I want to remain diplomatic and friendly without letting them walk all over me, and I’m having trouble framing this. Any suggestions welcome! Thank you very much in advance! &#x25B2 Collapse

Thomas T. Frost
Португалия
Local time: 13:42
This person is a ProZ.com Certified PRO in французский => датский, датский => английский

Forget about it, and act like any professional should: demand they accept your usual price. That’s not an unreasonable or unfriendly suggestion.

Some people know how to manipulate others to get lower prices/better conditions, and some people fall for it.

You have to be able to say no sometimes in this business.

Mirko Mainardi
Италия
Local time: 14:42
This person is a ProZ.com Certified PRO in английский => итальянский

Click the red seal for more information on what it means to be a ProZ.com Certified PRO. ‘, this, event, ‘300px’)» onMouseout=»delayhidetip()»> Член ProZ.com
английский => итальянский

Texte Style wrote:

Then it turned out that they were expecting me to do another text as well for that price, which I would normally have billed about 70 euros. The woman seemed to imply in her email that since their texts were usually smaller than what I have to do right now, the next few projects would probably make up for this if she continued to pay flat rates of 250 euros each time.

IMO, (very) much depends on your previous negotiations and the agreement you had reached before starting to work with them. For instance, did you negotiate a per word or a flat rate (up to X source words)? Weekly/monthly workloads? Etc.

At any rate, it seems pretty weird you should discover they expect you to do additional work at the same price like that, out of the blue.

[Edited at 2017-11-11 13:12 GMT]

Sheila Wilson
Испания
Local time: 13:42
This person is a ProZ.com Certified PRO in французский => английский

Texte Style wrote:
They said they had a budget of 250 euros max. When I worked it out, it actually came to 256 euros. I was willing to discount the extra, I’m not one to quibble over a few euros and they were saying they wanted to always give me first refusal for all their texts.

Then it turned out that they were expecting me to do another text as well for that price, which I would normally have billed about 70 euros. The woman seemed to imply in her email that since their texts were usually smaller than what I have to do right now, the next few projects would probably make up for this if she continued to pay flat rates of 250 euros each time.

Texte Style wrote:

I don’t know why you began your post with «so». Was it the logical continuation of something you had written earlier but that you deleted?

Evidently you’re having more trouble than it’s worth with this client. Just tell them what your rate is. If they say they can’t pay it, tell them that’s too bad, and don’t accept the job.

If they really like your work as much as you think they do, they’ll be back. If not, don’t worry about it.

[Edited at 2017-11-11 13:41 GMT]

In this situation I would remain tactful and say something like, «I appreciate being your go-to translator for this line of projects. I would be glad to do a small update or small job free of charge, but 70 EUR is several hours of work and I will be charging for it.»

[Edited at 2017-11-11 14:25 GMT]

It sounds like you really want to keep this client, and it sounds like she wants to give you regular work, so be up front with her. «I’ll do it this time because I already said I would, but in the future. «

That is good advice MK. After this job is finished (it’s too late to pull out now) let them know that you would (very much) like to keep working with them but that you would like to be paid for each job what it’s actually worth, no more no less. Be prepared to negotiate but don’t simply give in. In terms of money, the end result may well turn out to be about the same as what they propose but you are a freelancer and you take things one job at a time. That way you are also not too closely tied in with them if the relationship should go awry. In Dutch we say, «butter with your fish», which means exactly that: you do the job and you get paid for it right away).

[Edited at 2017-11-11 16:30 GMT] &#x25B2 Collapse

Mirko, nothing was negotiated for any long-term relationship. They had previously accepted a couple of files billed at my normal rate, that’s all. Then for this one, she just said that she had a budget of up to 250 euros. At that point I hadn’t seen the file and assumed it would be as short as the previous one, in which case 250 would have been generous, even with the second file bundled in (I think I had billed about 170 euros, at my best rate).

Mirko, nothing was negotiated for any long-term relationship. They had previously accepted a couple of files billed at my normal rate, that’s all. Then for this one, she just said that she had a budget of up to 250 euros. At that point I hadn’t seen the file and assumed it would be as short as the previous one, in which case 250 would have been generous, even with the second file bundled in (I think I had billed about 170 euros, at my best rate).

Thomas, yes you’re quite right, flattery won’t pay my bills nor will I earn any respect just giving in to it. That was niggling me, and seeing your reaction clarifies the niggle.

Tom, «So» is a neat, modern linguistic device to show that this question has been going round in circles in my mind and I have now resolved to talk about it.

MK yes I do really want to work with these people or I’d have just said these are my rates, like it or lump it. I don’t have any qualms with agencies, this is a direct client and I’m actively looking for direct clients at the moment. So I want to look like I’m willing to cooperate, but without them walking all over me.

Hopefully by Monday I’ll be feeling better enough to call them up to discuss the matter properly and work towards a solution we’ll all be happy with. &#x25B2 Collapse

How do I explain how I feel to my client?

Josephine Cassar
Local time: 14:42
This person is a ProZ.com Certified PRO in французский => английский

What happens if the company goes bankrupt at some point? You will have lost your other clients and maybe refused new ones. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket and don’t let them walk all over you. Be polite but firm.

[Edited at 2017-11-12 09:02 GMT]

I’d go with what MK2010 and Tina said and others agreed with, and give them a chance, but make clear it’s the last time you’ll do it. They’ll see your case makes cents, and theirs doesn’t.

Josephine Cassar wrote:

What happens if the company goes bankrupt at some point? You will have lost your other clients and maybe refused new ones. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket and don’t let them walk all over you. Be polite but firm.

[Edited at 2017-11-12 09:02 GMT]

What the client was suggesting was more like the arrangement Sheila mentioned rather than a retainer fee, so this is actually irrelevant, but anyway:

Nikki, if they’re paying a retainer fee, they’re paying me to be available whether or not work comes in surely? I don’t refund them if they don’t send me work, because my part of the bargain is that I make sure of being available. Especially with larger projects, this would impact my ability to accept other projects so I would still deserve the money. Of course if it happened too often the client would decide to no longer keep me on the retainer and just hope that I will be free (and I always do my best to fit stuff in for well-paying direct clients).

Josephine, the projects I’m talking about are only worth 250 euros every few weeks, so I would have plenty of time left over to accept other projects, plenty of eggs in other baskets.

Mervyn Henderson wrote:

. the Last Time, in other words.

I’d go with what MK2010 and Tina said and others agreed with, and give them a chance, but make clear it’s the last time you’ll do it. They’ll see your case makes cents, and theirs doesn’t.

and honestly, I’d rather my case made euros than cents, but thank you for your two!

Thomas T. Frost
Португалия
Local time: 13:42
This person is a ProZ.com Certified PRO in французский => датский, датский => английский

Samuel Murray wrote:

Yes, some do, unfortunately. People make mistakes all the time, just like some people, even British translators, think “algorithm” is spelt “algorhythm” (looks sort of cute, though), perhaps because the latter spelling is the name of a TV series, or perhaps they mistakenly think “rhythm” has something to do with it. Who knows? Nobody is perfect. You sometimes pick up a bad habit unconsciously and only become aware of it when it’s pointed out.

. the Irish, mostly those south of the Border, may not BEGIN a sentence with «So» but, as Tom and I well know, they may very well end it thus. Rather illogically, too:

«I hear your daughter’s gettin’ married, so.»

«Dis whisky is well foine, so.»

«Ye’ll be workin’ yer guts out at dat place, so».

. the Irish, mostly those south of the Border, may not BEGIN a sentence with «So» but, as Tom and I well know, they may very well end it thus. Rather illogically, too:

«I hear your daughter’s gettin’ married, so.»

«Dis whisky is well foine, so.»

«Ye’ll be workin’ yer guts out at dat place, so».

Or not? Is it so? Say it ain’t so etc. etc.

[Edited at 2017-11-12 13:18 GMT]

Note Keith Moon in his underpants on drums in this one. The type that’s bound to end up dead early. As indeed he did. And bassist John Entwhistle, though John behaved himself and survived until the 21st century. And Jimmy McCulloch too, playing guitar behind Daltrey, found dead in his flat at 26, albeit with no record of drug abuse, so he didn’t make the famed «Dead at 27» status of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrisson. You might say, in fact, the list of «Rock stars with names beginning with J and dead at 27», but that might be a little long to be popularised.

Drugs, huh? Just Say So.

[Edited at 2017-11-12 13:44 GMT] &#x25B2 Collapse

. and then make sure it doesn’t happen again by clearly laying out the terms and agreeing on a system with her. Plus, it’s sort of too late to say no.

It sounds like you really want to keep this client, and it sounds like she wants to give you regular work, so be up front with her. «I’ll do it this time because I already said I would, but in the future. «

I would explain to the client that usually I am paid for what I deliver not a word more nor a word less, but given the fact that this is a field that I love translating and the work seems regular, I’ll be willing to give it a try for one or two months with an option to renegotiate after that period if need be…

Robert Forstag
США
Local time: 08:42
This person is a ProZ.com Certified PRO in испанский => английский

Mervyn Henderson wrote:

. the Last Time, in other words.

I’d go with what MK2010 and Tina said and others agreed with, and give them a chance, but make clear it’s the last time you’ll do it. They’ll see your case makes cents, and theirs doesn’t.

I think this would really be the smart move here. 70 euros is not a lot, and you will be making it crystal clear that this is the last time you will be doing such a freebie.

I also agree with what others have said here about flattery being used as a means of manipulation (whether consciously or unconsciously).

Katalin Horváth McClure
США
Local time: 08:42
This person is a ProZ.com Certified PRO in английский => венгерский, японский => английский

I think the only reason this agency can legitimately ask you to do these jobs for a fixed amount is that they are getting paid by the end client on a fixed amount base.
However, if that is the case, and they really think the volume evens out over time, they should not have a problem paying you for the exact amount each time. They should be willing to take the risk of volume fluctuation themselves, if they expect you to believe that the risk is negligible. Since there is no guarantee that you would be the lucky translator (among their pool) to get the smaller jobs that have some «cushioning», IMHO, at this point it would not be a wise decision for you to take this flat fee deal going forward.
If they really think that the plus-minuses even out, then they should be willing to pay you for the exact work, because even if they are getting paid a flat rate from the end client, they would still be able to keep their cut over time, on an average base. Right?

[Edited at 2017-11-13 03:29 GMT] &#x25B2 Collapse