How happy you are happy

How to Be Happy: 8 Ways to Be Happier Today

Written by joshua becker · 42 Comments

Last updated: May 1, 2022

Happiness is a state of mind. Specifically, it is a state of “well-being and contentment.”

But the definition can be tricky and assumptions about the word can cause confusion. Many don’t even realize learning how to be happy is something that can be intentionally practiced. Some people, when they hear the word ‘happiness,’ assume it is speaking of an emotion such as pleasure or joy. For them, it is what people feel in the immediate here and now.

This is the reason some people say, “Don’t pursue happiness, seek joy. Happiness is fickle and fading, joy remains forever.”

But this short-term definition of happiness is not how everyone understands the word. Some define it to mean long-term satisfaction.

In fact, when I speak of experiencing happiness in life, I am not thinking of short-term emotions at all. I think of a quality of living—a much longer-term view of the word.

Both definitions are understood to be correct and speak of different realities.

But are they really that different? I don’t think so.

After all, a long-term experience of life satisfaction is almost certainly made up of many short-term feelings of joy and pleasure. Does that mean every day is a great day with no trials, temptations, or downturns? Certainly not. But it does mean when we look back at the many seasons of life, we can look back satisfied at how we navigated them.

The long-term feeling of life satisfaction is most experienced when we embrace the emotion of joy in the here and now.

And we accomplish that by taking steps each day to be happy. Here are some tips on how to be happier starting today.

Daily Actions

1. Choose happiness

The most important thing to realize about happiness is that it is not an outcome of current circumstances. Just the opposite, happiness is a choice. Is this easier on some days than others? Absolutely. But if you get caught in the trap of thinking your circumstances need to change before you can be happy, you’ll never, ever get there.

2. Focus on the good

There are good things in your life right now: you are alive, you are fed, you are healthy, you have family and friends, and you have opportunit i es each day to pursue meaningful work. Maybe not all of those are true for you right now, but certainly some of them are—which means there is good in your life that you can focus on.

Marine Sgt. Jonny Joseph Jones lost both of his legs in an explosion while serving in Afghanistan. I was struck by a quote of his I saw recently. He said this, “People ask how I stay so positive after losing my legs… I simply ask how they stay so negative when they have both of theirs.”

Happiness is about perspective and if you’re looking for reasons to be happy, you’ll probably find them. Happy people focus on positive thoughts.

3. Stop comparing

No matter how you choose to define happiness—short-term or long-term—comparison will rob you of it. Whether we compare our finances, our body type, our vacations, our talents, our house size or our shoe size, there are no winners in the game of comparison. But here’s the good news: Nobody is forcing you to play! You can stop any time you want. Be grateful for what you have, appreciate who you are, work hard every day to live your best life, and stop comparing yourself to others.

4. Practice gratitude and generosity

In the world of positive psychology, there are a few themes that emerge every time happiness is studied. Among those recurring themes, we find gratitude and generosity.

Both of which can only be understood correctly when we see them as disciplines rather than responses. A discipline is something we practice regardless of our circumstances. If you are waiting for enough money to become generous, you’ll never get there. Likewise, if you are waiting for everything to be perfect to be grateful, you’ll never experience it. Choose to be thankful today. And choose to be generous with your time and money. Making them both a discipline in your life will result in a happier today… and tomorrow.

5. Don’t pursue physical possessions

Possessions are necessary for life, but our society has seemed to confuse consumerism with happiness. Marketers work hard to convince us their products are not just needed for life, but that they are essential for happiness.

Slowly but surely, we begin to believe their empty promises and waste our lives pursuing things that can never satisfy. We sacrifice time, money, energy, and focus chasing and accumulating things we do not need.

These excess possessions add stress, worry, and burden onto our lives. Want to become a bit more happy today? Go declutter a closet or drawer and start to challenge consumerism in your life.

6. Be present in your relationships

Robert J. Waldinger is an American psychiatrist and Professor at Harvard Medical School where he is best known for directing the world’s longest-running longitudinal study tracking the health and mental well-being of a group of 724 American men for 76 years.

One thing that he has learned, and has been confirmed by studies elsewhere, is that relationships hold the key to happiness:

Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.

We don’t get to control every aspect of our relationships (we didn’t choose our family, for example). But we can all take steps to be a good friend. And good friends tend to attract healthy community.

7. Develop healthy habits

Annie Dillard is credited for saying, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” And she is right. Our lives are filled with days, our days are filled with hours, and this present hour is filled with whatever you chose to fill it with. So pursue healthy habits that add value to your hours, days, and lifetime.

Spend time outside. Eat healthy. Exercise regularly. Quit smoking. Put down your cell phone. Obsess less. Work hard. Pray often. And get enough sleep.

8. Look outside yourself

The pursuit of self comes natural to us. We don’t need to be reminded to pursue our own self-interests. We pursue self-survival, self-promotion, self-actualization, and self-exaltation as if it is hardwired in our genes.

But the most efficient pathway to lasting happiness and fulfillment is not to look only at your own interests, but also to the interests of others. When we shift our focus off of ourselves, we live lives of greater meaning and greater contribution. When we serve others without concern over what we might receive in return, we experience the beauty of selfless love. The size of our universe (and happiness) begins to expand exponentially.

It is no small thing that happiness is pursued by so many. Let’s make sure we find it—in both the short term and the long term.

How to Be Happy with Who You Are

This article was co-authored by Michael Stern. Michael Stern is a life coach and the owner of Integral Alignment, a coaching and training business focused on a holistic approach to optimizing one’s health, work, love, play, and spirituality. Michael began his professional training in 2011 as an Integral Spiritual Mentor through One Spirit Learning Alliance, and has been certified as both a hatha yoga instructor and an Emotional Intelligence Coach through GolemanEI. In addition to his private 1:1 and groupwork, he has hosted workshops with thought leaders such as Frederic Laloux, Charles Eisenstein, and Thomas Hübl. Michael holds a BA in Spanish Language from Vanderbilt University and lives in Portland, Maine.

There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 14 testimonials and 91% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status.

This article has been viewed 362,007 times.

Being happy with who you are, or having a positive identity, involves feeling good about your personal, professional, and social self. Most people in the world, big or small, Hispanic, African American, Asian or Caucasian, can sometimes feel negatively about their identity. This negativity can be due to lack of personal, occupational, or social fulfillment. In order to regain a positive identity you may benefit from: accepting your unique qualities, loving who you are, pursuing your goals (personal, professional, and social), and increasing social connection.

If You are Happy

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If You’re Happy

If you’re happy, happy, happy clap your hands.
If you’re happy, happy, happy clap your hands.
If you’re happy, happy, happy clap your hands, clap your hands.
If you’re happy, happy, happy clap your hands.

If you’re angry, angry, angry stomp your feet.
If you’re angry, angry, angry stomp your feet.
If you’re angry, angry, angry stomp your feet, stomp your feet.
If you’re angry, angry, angry stomp your feet.

If you’re scared, scared, scared say, «Oh no!»
If you’re scared, scared, scared say, «Oh no!»
If you’re scared, scared, scared say, «Oh no!» Say, «Oh no!»
If you’re scared, scared, scared say, «Oh no!»

If you’re sleepy, sleepy, sleepy take a nap.
If you’re sleepy, sleepy, sleepy take a nap.
If you’re sleepy, sleepy, sleepy take a nap, take a nap.
If you’re sleepy, sleepy, sleepy take a nap.

If you’re happy, happy, happy clap your hands.
If you’re happy, happy, happy clap your hands.
If you’re happy, happy, happy clap your hands, clap your hands.
If you’re happy, happy, happy clap your hands.

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Если ты счастлив

Если ты счастлив, счастлив, счастлив, хлопай в ладоши.
Если ты счастлив, счастлив, счастлив, хлопай в ладоши.
Если ты счастлив, счастлив, счастлив, хлопай в ладоши, хлопай в ладоши.
Если ты счастлив, счастлив, счастлив, хлопай в ладоши.

Если ты сердит, сердит, сердит, топай ногами.
Если ты сердит, сердит, сердит, топай ногами.
Если ты сердит, сердит, сердит, топай ногами, топай ногами.
Если ты сердит, сердит, сердит, топай ногами.

Если ты напуган, напуган, напуган, скажи: «О, нет!»
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Если ты напуган, напуган, напуган, скажи: «О, нет!»

Если ты сонный, сонный, сонный, вздремни.
Если ты сонный, сонный, сонный, вздремни.
Если ты сонный, сонный, сонный, вздремни, вздремни.
Если ты сонный, сонный, сонный, вздремни.

Если ты счастлив, счастлив, счастлив, хлопай в ладоши.
Если ты счастлив, счастлив, счастлив, хлопай в ладоши.
Если ты счастлив, счастлив, счастлив, хлопай в ладоши, хлопай в ладоши.
Если ты счастлив, счастлив, счастлив, хлопай в ладоши.

How To Be Happy: >175 Tips to Help You Live a Happier Life

Updated on May 28, 2022

How to be happy? It’s one of the most frequently asked questions in life. Yet, it all seems so subjective and vague.

That’s about to change. We’ve broken this topic down into clear and actionable tips and examples, to help you understand what happiness means. By understanding your own definition of happiness, you’ll actually be able to control your happiness more.

We compiled the best tips out of >175 articles on happiness and divided them into 9 actionable chapters for you.

Using the methods discussed in this guide will lead to a happier life, filled with self-awareness, purpose and fun. If you want to be happy, look no further: this page contains everything you need to know to improve your happiness.

What happiness means to you

If you want to know how to be happy, you must first have an idea of what happiness really means to you. If you think you already know what happiness means to you, you can use the links above to jump right to the actual tips.

If not, continue reading here.

Is it okay to be unhappy sometimes?

Want to know something funny?

When I search the internet for “how to be happy”, Google tells me there are 4,810,000,000 results. I’m sure that when you do the same search, Google will have found more results already.

Additionally, when I type the words “being unhappy is” in the search field, Google tries to autocomplete it:

Meaning to suggest that we’re broken if we’re ever unhappy, and that we should be “fixed”.

Understand how happiness is not eternal

Even the happiest person alive has experienced sadness in his or her life.

The idea that being unhappy is a bad state to be in is just wrong. Everybody has his or her reasons to be unhappy sometimes, and those reasons can be perfectly valid.

Some examples of the things in our lives that we can’t fully control:

Can happiness be controlled?

There are some people who believe that they control 100% of their happiness.

How? By always being able to embrace a positive mindset, no matter what situation you may be in.

Do you believe this? Can someone choose to be happy all the time? Can happiness really be controlled like that?

Our study on controlling happiness

This led to an interesting and unique study we performed this year at Tracking Happiness. We surveyed over 1,000 people and asked them simple questions about their happiness.

It turns out that people who think that happiness can be controlled are 32% happier on average.

It means that people who believe they can control their happiness are happier than those who don’t.

There are some very efficient methods that will help you control the things that are most correlated to your happiness. These will be explained throughout the rest of this article.

Happier people are less a victim of their circumstances

We performed a follow-up study that focused on circumstantial happiness. In other words, we wanted to find out how much of our happiness is determined by external circumstances.

Our study showed that roughly 35% of our happiness is believed to be circumstantial.

But what was more interesting this statistic was correlated to the overall happiness of a person.

We found that happier people believe that their happiness is less a result of their circumstances.

The happiest people in our dataset (happiness rating = 10) believe that only 31% of their happiness is circumstantial. On the other hand, the unhappiest respondents (happiness rating = 1) believe that more than half of their happiness (53%) is circumstantial.

What does this all mean?

It hints at the fact that the happiest people have learned and implemented strategies that give them a better chance of having a happy day. Without being affected by outside circumstances.

Defining your happiness

When you consider happiness and look at it from a distance, you will find that there are 3 things that can determine your happiness:

In another survey we ran recently, we asked over 1,000 respondents to weigh these factors. Which one of these 3 factors determined your happiness the most?

We averaged all the answers and found the following percentages: 24%, 40% and 36%.

But that’s beside the point. If this study showed anything it all, it’s that our way of defining happiness is really unique and should not be compared to what others think of happiness.

Understand that happiness is different for everybody

If I asked you and your neighbor to define happiness right now, the two answers would probably be wildly different.

Why is that? What is happiness really? Is it a feeling, a state of mind or just an emotion?

What initially looks like a very simple question turns out to be one of the hardest questions out there.

Anyway, what I want you to realize is that your personal definition of happiness is unique. What makes you happy doesn’t necessarily make another person happy. In fact, your definition of happiness even changes over time. There is no universally agreed-upon definition of happiness.

That’s why it’s important to find your own definition of happiness.

Consider your personal happiness definition

Think back of the last week, and remember what things or events had a positive influence on your happiness. Think of the things that really made you smile or feel satisfied with where you were or how you acted.

What came to your mind? Was it a good day at work? Was it a movie you watched? Was it a book you read? Or was it when you went for a long walk? It could literally be anything!

Whatever crossed your mind, I want you to realize that you just measured a part of your happiness. By making an effort to think about the things that make you happy, you are forming your own definition of happiness. This is an extremely powerful step in the process of becoming happier.

How to practice this kind of self-awareness is explained throughout the rest of this article.

The 9 best ways to be happier

We’ve published >175 articles on numerous evidence-based happiness tips, studies and stories from our community.

We’ve filtered them down based on the feedback from our community of happiness trackers. Instead of having to read through dozens of articles, studies and reports, here are the 7 most effective ways to be happier.

1. Find your purpose in life

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.

In order to find this harmony in life, you should be aware of what your purpose in life is.

An average person spends about 40% of her or his life at a job (including commuting, getting ready and other stuff). Chances are that you are doing the same.

It’s only logical that you try your best to make that time as pleasant as possible, right? It’s therefore increasingly more important that your occupation is something that is pleasant and endurable. Something that is in line with what you think, say and do.

Most people are not as lucky though. A survey by Mental Health America with over 17,000 respondents shows that only 21% of people in the US feel like they are paid enough at work. In fact, a lot of people simply hate Mondays, just for the simple fact that it’s the start of a new workweek.

If this is you, then it’s very important that you find some kind of intellectual satisfaction from other sources. Something that actually gives you satisfaction and that you can be proud of.

A purposeful life is a happy life

When you live your life with a purpose, you are much more in control of your long-term happiness. You won’t have the feeling like you’re just drifting, working towards some vague goal that doesn’t make you happy.

With a purpose, your long-term happiness, satisfaction, and sense of achievement are much better definable. You are able to steer your life in the best direction possible. And that’s the direction where long-term happiness can be found!

This is backed up by plenty of evidence-based studies:

Find your “why”

You can’t copy & paste somebody else’s purpose in life and expect to be happy by doing the same things.

No, you have to define YOUR purpose.

Just as much as happiness is something that’s unique for every single person, the purpose of life differs from person to person.

Elon Musk’s purpose in life might be to develop futuristic ideas into reality, while your purpose can be to just provide the best life to your family and children.

Copy & pasting the purpose of somebody that you respect and like will probably leave you unhappy and unfulfilled. For example, I think Elon Musk is doing spectacular things, but I wouldn’t be happy if I were in his shoes. My purpose in life is wildly different from his!

I have defined my own purpose in life, and I advise you to do the same!

Know that your purpose in life can change

A life purpose can (and most likely will) change many times over your life. For some people, this means that whatever got you motivated and inspired yesterday might not provide you with the same itch tomorrow.

If you currently feel lost and have no idea what you want to spend the rest of your life on, then you can rest assured knowing that your purpose in life will eventually change anyway.

This is especially important for young adults, who have no idea what career to choose. Or maybe you just started your promising career and wake up every morning in a panic because you dread working and worry whether or not you wasted all your years in college?

At some point in my life, I also worried about picking the wrong field of study and career. Remember that in the end, your first career will rarely turn out to be your life’s career. So take a deep breath, relax and know that your life purpose can and probably will change at some point.

How to define your purpose in life

If you have no idea where to even start, try this exercise from Verywell Mind. It’s meant for people struggling with borderline personality disorder, but it works on anyone.

The exercise begins with making a list and ends with defining meaning. It’s a good place to start if you’ve never thought about your purpose or meaning in life before and need a structured way to gather your thoughts.

This exercise might seem at odds with the previous tip, but sometimes, you just have to get started somehow. Where some people need to stop looking, others simply have to take that first step.

Another good method of finding your purpose in life is to step out of your comfort zone.

Comfort zones are great, but unfortunately, development can only happen once you take a step into the discomfort zone. Sometimes you need to look at life from a new perspective to find meaning and purpose.

If you feel like you’re stuck in a mindless, purposeless rut in life, shake things up a little. Whether it’s traveling somewhere new and exciting, or trying to see life through someone else’s eyes, it may help you discover your meaning.

2. Journaling creates happiness

Gratitude, mindfulness, self-awareness and introspection. What do all these things have in common?

They are all significantly correlated to happiness.

But what does this have to do with journaling?

There is plenty of scientific research on the benefits of journaling.

Journaling is perhaps the most powerful habit I’ve developed for myself. I’ve been journaling every day for the last 8 years. Here are 3 tips that I’m still using today:

Be expressive

Go deep into your feelings and use emotional language. Don’t just recount the story – describe and analyze it in as much detail as you can.

Remember how your high school English teacher cautioned you from using too many adjectives? This is the time to use all of the adjectives you couldn’t use in your essays. This is your memory. Write whatever you can and want in order to properly express it!

(This is what makes journaling fun, after all!)

Ask yourself leading questions

Ask yourself lots of leading questions.

Step into the shoes of a therapist or interested friend for a moment.

This is the power of journaling – getting to step back from your thought process and write critical questions about it. Imagine a close friend is telling you the same story and looking for help figuring out what it means. What kinds of questions would you ask them?

Don’t panic if you skip a day

Okay, it happens. Nobody’s perfect (we’re all human, after all). You missed a day. Or two. Or a week.

Nobody, ever, in the whole history of journaling, since the beginning of time, has ever written every single day of their entire life since the day they first put pen to paper. Guaranteed. So relax. You’re in the same camp as Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Mark Twain, Charles Darwin and Frida Kahlo — all famous journalers who definitely missed a day or two.

You can get right back up on the horse. Today. It’s seriously never too late. Don’t let a few days turn into a month and a lost habit. Go grab your journal, and write a few sentences, right now.

Even if it’s just about the fact that you stopped journaling.

Start journaling

Grab a pen and notebook, write down the date and time, and go bananas.

I sincerely hope that between now and tomorrow, you’ll have written your first journal entry.

It may end up becoming one of the most powerful habits in your life (like mine).

Here are more interesting articles about learning to journal for happiness:

These are all packed with actionable advice that’s backed by research and studies.

3. Self-awareness is the key to happiness

Why is self-awareness so important?

Because it allows us to improve the quality of our lives just by being aware of how external factors influence us.

We can’t control 100% of our lives, but we can often control how we react to the stuff we can’t control. That is the key to self-awareness and why it is so important.

How self-awareness stops me from being negative

Being the introvert that I am, I tend to bottle up my emotions when I feel hurt by others. I then keep those emotions deep inside me until I can no longer hold them inside.

This situation has occurred before in my life, and it wasn’t pretty. I’ll leave the details for another email… Long story short, I could have decided to focus on positive things, but instead, I let my mind slip and choose something worse. I opened the floodgates of my negative thoughts and became a serious pain in the #!@ for my girlfriend for a day or two.

Has this ever happened to you?

It might seem really simple: you feel like someone hurts you and you feel bummed. You then hold onto that hurt feeling and turn it into something nasty: anger and hatred.

This is pretty normal behavior, of course. I mean, we all feel let down by others every once in a while. But it is still important to be aware of what’s happening.

Being self-aware about simple emotions is extremely powerful

If you are completely self-aware, you will be able to stop and bring it back to yourself first.

When you start to rationally question your own thoughts and emotions, you are much better prepared to get rid of the negativity inside.

This can be extremely difficult. But you can really improve the quality of your own life by simply being aware of your own emotions.

There are multiple methods to become more self-aware. What method is right for you depends on who you are.

It’s no coincidence that journaling is one of the most effective ways to practice self-awareness.

One of our long-time readers shared his thoughts with me:

“I found that writing about my emotional state and describing issues in detail forces me to confront them and take the time to deconstruct them. This usually allows me to understand the issue, and that calms the chaos in my head. You can think of this as clearing the RAM in your system.”

How to train your self-awareness?

Covering the best ways to train your self-awareness would not be possible in a post.

Luckily, we have some helpful links to some of the best articles on Tracking Happiness. These will show you how self-awareness can improve your happiness and mentality, and thus your life:

4. Try to spread more happiness

Your happiness can actually radiate to other people. Your smile has the power to bring a smile to someone else’s face! How can you put this to practice?

Why would you want to focus on the happiness of others while you’re trying to be happier yourself?

It’s because happiness is like a virus – it’s contagious.

I remember this one time, when I went running, a total stranger complimented me on my stride and technique. I found this odd since I’ve never had any training and I sometimes feel quite clunky. However, this random comment made me very happy.

Comments like these can be more impactful than you might think. A simple smile or compliment to a stranger can go a really long way.

Happiness is contagious

Humans are group animals. We tend to unknowingly copy the behavior of others, and as some of you might know: emotions can be contagious!

If your partner or close friend is sad or angry then there is a possibility that you will feel that emotion as well.

The same works for happiness.

In a study published in the British Medical Journal, scientists have found that happiness can effectively spread through your social ties such as your friends, family, and neighbors. The researchers found that being close to happy people is directly associated with your own happiness.

In this study, researchers sought to prove how “prosocial” behavior (meaning, the kind deeds that we do for others) can make toddlers happy. The children who participated in this study were introduced to a puppet monkey who likes treats. The next steps of the experiment are as follows:

The children’s happiness levels were tested in each phase, and it was found that giving to the puppet makes them happier than when they received treats for themselves. Furthermore, they were happier when they gave their own treats as compared to when they gave a treat “found” by the experimenter.

This proves that giving, sharing, and bringing happiness to others is rewarding and can totally add to our own happiness!

Smile to others more often

We already know that laughter and smiling is contagious, and that the act of smiling can help make you feel happier. Our tendency to mimic the facial expressions and body language of those around us can have a powerful effect on our moods.

The next time you go out, pay attention to how people look at you and interact with you as you move past one another. Try to smile at every opportunity. Then pay attention to how people respond and whether they smile back or not.

I can guarantee you that most people will smile back at you when you smile at them. And since we know that simply smiling can help boost your happiness, you can feel great knowing that you gave their well-being a boost.

Be more forgiving to others

Here’s a beautiful quote by Anne Lamott:

“Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”

Making mistakes is part of what makes us human. By not being able to forgive, we’re hurting our ability to be happy.

In order to become better at forgiving, try to place yourself in the other person’s shoes.

When we try to see things from the other person’s perspective, we are able to more or less understand the motives behind their actions. Whenever we do something hurtful or bad ourselves, we can always justify our actions because we understand the reasons behind it. Since we know why we do the things we do, we usually find it easier to forgive ourselves compared to forgiving others.

Knowing that not everyone is perfect all the time allows us to cut them some slack.

This does not mean that you have to excuse their bad behavior. This concept is more related to the previous tip. When we manage our expectations towards other people, we will find it easier to forgive them when they let us down.

5. Don’t compare yourself to others and accept yourself for who you are

We often talk about the preferred version of ourselves – if I was 5 pounds lighter, if I was an inch taller, and if I was better at math… Some of these things are easier changed than others, and there’s no harm in wanting to change the things that we can change. After all, we all want to improve ourselves as a person.

But more often than not, we wish to change things that cannot be changed. We may even realize this, but that doesn’t stop us from dreaming. Sometimes it’s better if we would just accept ourselves for who we are. It’s self-acceptance that will bring you happiness, rather than trying to achieve the “ideal” version of yourself.

How comparison is the thief of joy

You probably know that it’s not always good to compare yourself to others. Everyone moves at their own pace and circumstances are different, and so on. But you probably find yourself making comparisons to others and wondering why you can’t stop.

Comparing yourself to others isn’t always bad and sometimes, it can maintain or even enhance your self-esteem. That’s what makes it so hard to stop, even if comparing yourself to others decreases your overall happiness.

Overall, however, comparing yourself to others is often damaging your mental health without your awareness. Luckily, it’s possible to refocus your attention on yourself and make negative self-comparisons matter less.

Get off social media

If your Facebook and Instagram feeds are anything to go by, your friends are constantly on vacation, eating healthy, getting married, getting promotions and generally living a better life than you are.

Deep down you know that you’re not getting the full picture, but it’s still difficult to feel good about yourself when you compare your own life to the highlight reels of others. While a little bit of upward comparison can be motivating, research has shown that in most cases, it just lowers your self-esteem.

Social media is a place where joy often gets stolen

So if you’re prone to such comparisons, the best gift you can give yourself is to log off for a while. If you can’t do that for some reason, then use the mute function and unfollow features that don’t add any value to your life and curate yourself a feed that lifts you up instead of bringing you down.

If nothing else works, keep in mind how you probably don’t share everything online. If you don’t give an honest picture of your day-to-day life on Facebook, why should others?

6. Exercise!

In the film Legally Blonde, Reese Witherspoon’s character Elle Woods quips, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t shoot their husbands.” It seems logical enough, but how happy do exercise and endorphins make you, exactly?

Based on evidence-based research, it turns out that the correlation between regular exercise and happiness is really significant.

How endorphins improve your happiness

Endorphins cause happiness. This has been observed in many studies over the past decades.

A study all the way back in 1984 talks about possible relationships between endorphins, pain management and exercise. That study, as it happens, was not wrong. We now know that endorphins play a crucial role in our nervous system, in particular in response to stimuli such as stress, pain or fear. These chemicals are especially good at blocking pain and controlling emotions, both of which can improve happiness.

Dopamine results in happiness too

Dopamine is a multi-functional neurotransmitter that is involved in everything from your emotions to your motor reactions. The chemical is closely related to the more widely known Adrenaline and indeed the two function in very similar ways and have similar effects. That buzz you get after your workout? There’s more than just Adrenaline at play there.

Regular exercise should help regulate dopamine levels and keep you feeling happier and brighter. Perhaps not directly after a workout, but I promise it will kick in eventually!

Exercising

How much exercising do you need to be happier, then?

Researchers from the University of Michigan may have the answer.

In their 2018 review, Zhanjia Zhang and Weiyun Chen analyzed the results of 23 studies published between 1980 and 2017 focusing on the relationship between exercise and happiness.

If you’re looking for that “runner’s high” endorphin rush, a good start might be to… you know… go running. But any form of exercise will do.

You don’t have to pump iron if you’d rather dance. For maximum happiness, choose the type of exercise that you actually like.

There are so many different workouts to choose from – from dancing to duathlons, running to rugby, basketball to boxing, you should be able to find something that works for you.

Don’t forget walking

Walking has an undeservedly low reputation as a form of exercise.

While it won’t give you the athletic benefits of jogging or weightlifting, it has many mental benefits that people don’t think about. From improving symptoms of depression and anxiety to increasing well-being, and giving you space to think, walking is a great activity. Especially in times when your whole life might be confined to your home.

So when I tell you to take a walk, I only have your best interests in mind!

7. Focus on positive relationships

In a world filled with negativity, it is obviously quite common for someone to be surrounded by negativity. In fact, spending time with negative people who continually see the bad in every situation is the quickest way to become a negative pessimist too.

Surround yourself with positive people

There’s this old saying:

“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

I couldn’t agree more. If you hang out with pessimists, it’s likely you’ll slowly turn into one yourself.

It luckily works the other way around too. Surround yourself with positivity, and you’ll slowly embrace that mindset yourself as well!

When it comes to friendships, it’s all about quality over quantity. A study investigated the role of best friendship and close friendship quality and conflict in happiness. The results showed that the quality of your best friendships is the only statistically significant predictor of happiness.

According to a 2010 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, the satisfaction of basic psychological needs is the mediator between the quality of friendships and happiness, and this applies to both best friendships and other close friendships.

Put simply: people have certain psychological needs, like companionship, intimacy, support, autonomy, competence, and relatedness, and good quality friendships help to satisfy those needs.

Nurture your friendships

It goes without saying that having friends makes our lives easier, happier, and more meaningful. Isn’t it nice to have someone you can laugh with until your stomach hurts? With friends around, we feel less alone during the tough times and more joyful during the good ones.

Having strong friendships and being in the company of people who care about us can actually be beneficial to our health, well-being, and overall satisfaction. Not only do friends enhance our lives, but they also complete it to some extent. Because, honestly, how do we even live without our best friends?

In order to nurture your friendships, it’s good to know how to be a good friend yourself.

8. Try something new every once in a while

Some people say that the biggest enemy of happiness is the hedonic treadmill. This term explains how we humans are quick to adapt to any changes in our lives, and that a similar subsequent change has a diminishing impact.

For example, if I take a hot bath today, I’ll probably enjoy it a lot. But when I take the same hot bath tomorrow, I will like it a lot less.

Try something new

A big piece of advice that a lot of people are not willing to take seriously is to try something you’ve never done before. I find this mind-boggling. How can you expect a change in your happiness by not changing any of the things that you do?

Think about it: whatever you’ve been doing until now has not resulted in you becoming any happier. You thought you were happy, yet here you are, reading an article after searching Google for new things to try.

Well, then doesn’t it sound pretty logical that you need to do something that you’ve never done before? Something that would make others say: “uuuuuuh, what now?”

Think outside the box here. What is something that you would like to do but never tried?

I want you to forget about the reasons why you shouldn’t do these new things. There are always reasons to not do something. You have to push through this mental obstacle.

What if you’re afraid to try something new?

One of the reasons why new things are scary is that they’re new and unfamiliar.

The fear of trying something new is often called neophobia, especially if the fear is irrational or persistent.

The important thing to remember about any kind of fear and anxiety is that they serve a purpose – to protect us from potential danger and keep us alive. So to an extent, it’s normal or even beneficial to be afraid of the new and the unfamiliar.

Most people have experienced some form of neophobia, usually in relation to food. Some people can be very hesitant to try new foods, and that’s completely okay. However, if your fear of new tastes causes you to go hungry, you have a problem. Usually, though, neophobia tends to be mild and it doesn’t bother people too much.

The key to conquering any kind of fear is to start small and gradually work your way up to the really scary stuff. If you’re afraid of public speaking, getting in front of an auditorium of thousands is a bad idea. Performing to a smaller crowd is essential to collecting positive experiences and little successes, which help you move on.

Think of overcoming your fear as a staircase – take it one step at a time. If you try to jump several steps ahead, your chances of losing balance and falling increase.

People often think that they shouldn’t be afraid in the first place. However, if you’re already scared, thinking that you shouldn’t be scared usually only makes the fear stronger. Accept that you’re afraid and focus your efforts on building up your courage, instead of beating yourself up for having a completely natural reaction.

Don’t be afraid of failure

The other reason is that new things have an inherent risk of failure, and for most people, there is nothing scarier.

Fear of failure, also known as atychiphobia, is fairly common. I’m willing to bet that you have experienced it, too. Whether it’s not joining the workout group you’ve been thinking of or applying for a new job, most of us have been held back by the fear of failure at some point in our lives.

The fear of failure is so common because failure is the most readily available option. Success requires a lot of work and effort, and sometimes, no matter how hard you work, you’ll still fail. It takes quite a lot of mental strength and resilience to keep working towards your goal despite failures and setbacks.

This isn’t to say that there’s no point in trying. I think that humans are quite admirable because we keep trying despite the odds not always being in our favor. We are resilient beings, and more often than not, we get back up again when life knocks us down.

Leave your comfort zone

When researching more about this topic, I landed on this article about the most frequent deathbed regrets. It’s a fascinating story since it uncovers what most people regret the most as they are near the end of their lives. Here’s the gist of it:

The first thing that strikes me is that this list does NOT include anyone that said: “I wish I didn’t take as many risks as I did” or “I wish I lived a more uneventful life”.

Now, I don’t want you to go out and do the riskiest thing you can think of.

What I want you to do, however, is to answer these questions:

Exiting your comfort zone is always scary. Thinking about it might already give you anxiety. But still, it’s a good idea to think bigger. If you want to be happier, you might have to exit your comfort zone in order to find it.

9. Track your happiness

This method focuses on a single habit that’s impacted my own life the most. It’s had the biggest impact on my happiness by far.

I started journaling 8 years ago, but I didn’t just journal. I also started to track my happiness.

What this means is that I answer 3 simple questions at the end of each day.

Even though this takes me only 2 minutes a day, this has given me extremely useful insights about my own happiness.

And even though I sometimes forget to track my happiness, it’s always easy to dig in my brain and write entries for the previous days.

If you’re already journaling, you should ask yourself these 3 questions and see what happens!

What I’ve learned from tracking my happiness

There are so many valuable things I’ve learned by tracking my happiness. Here are just a few:

There are many more things that I’ve learned, but that list is never going to fit in a single post.

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The How To Be Happy library

We’ve published >175 articles on numerous evidence-based happiness tips, studies, and stories from our community.

These articles are broken down into multiple categories. You can access each category by clicking the links below:

What is happiness

Here at Tracking Happiness, we are extremely fascinated by happiness. We are always on the lookout to answer questions such as:

Whenever we learn something new, we usually write an article about it.

You can find these articles in our «What is happiness» library.

Here’s a sneak preview of the 5 most recent articles in this library:

Internal happiness

If you’re anything like me, you’ll find it really frustrating when someone says: “just choose to be happy”.

A lot of people preach that happiness is 100% a function of your own mindset. That’s not true. It’s not like you can stand in front of a mirror and repeat “I’m happy” thirty-five times and then POOF you’re happy. It doesn’t work like that.

A big chunk of our happiness is simply out of our control.

But still, more often than not, happiness comes from within ourselves.

We have an entire library of articles specifically focused on these topics. You can find these articles in our «Internal happiness» library.

Here’s a sneak preview of the 5 most recent articles in this library:

Purpose in life

Long-term happiness can be found when what you do is aligned with your purpose in life.

But how do you find your purpose in life?

Here’s a sneak preview of the 5 most recent articles in this library:

Journaling for happiness

Have you ever heard the following phrase?

«The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.»

Even though you much rather had started twenty years ago, that shouldn’t stop you from starting right now.

The same goes for journaling. Everybody started the same way: writing down that first word on a piece of paper. Even the people who are now known to be the greatest diarists around started the same way, by writing something along the lines of «dear diary. «

We have a lot of actionable articles that will help you get started in our «Journaling for happiness» library.

Here’s a sneak preview of the 5 most recent articles in this library:

Social happiness

I consider myself to be an introvert, meaning that spending time with others may actually cost me energy. You can lock me in a room for a day and I might actually want to stay there longer. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t mind being alone every once in a while.

That said, spending time with people I love has a huge influence on my happiness. Whether I’m with my girlfriend, family, or close friends, I almost always notice that I’m happier after spending time with these people.

Over the years, we’ve built an entire library of articles focusing on topics like these. Access our «Social happiness» content library here.

Here’s a sneak preview of the 5 most recent articles in this library:

Happiness tips

The internet is littered with shallow tips on how to be happier. I mean, take a look at your social media feed and your friends will show you how it’s done, right?

But are there any actionable tips that you can use? Most of the existing guides on how to be happy are rather thin and uninspiring. For example, a lot of guides tell you to start meditating if you want to be happier. But where do you start? What actions should you take next? It usually stops there…

The articles we’ve written will give you a toolbox of tips, with actionable ways to implement them straight away. Find the best happiness tips in our «Happiness tips» content library!

Here’s a sneak preview of the 5 most recent articles in this library:

Case studies

Everybody likes a success story, a new study or an interesting survey (okay, most people at least).

Now that we’ve reached the last section of the Tracking Happiness Blog, it’s finally time to show:

Over the years, I’ve been lucky enough to meet people from all sorts of backgrounds and talk with them about happiness. What did we have in common? We all wanted to understand 100% of our happiness and get happier in the process.

Here’s a sneak preview of the 5 most recent articles in this library:

Tracking Happiness archives

If you just want to browse through our long list of articles, that’s totally fine too! 🙂

You can find every single post we’ve published over the past years in our archives.

Closing words

If you’ve made it all the way to the bottom of this page, you should have a good idea of how to be happier.

If you liked what you read, make sure to join our community below. That way, you’ll be updated whenever we publish more interesting studies, actionable tips, and success stories!

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Having said that, I now want to hear from you! What is missing from this guide? Have I missed steps that you think are just as crucial to be happy or not?

I’d love to hear what you think about it in the comments below!

Hugo Huijer

Founder of Tracking Happiness and lives in the Netherlands. Ran 5 marathons, with one of them in under 4 hours (3:59:58 to be exact). Data junkie and happiness tracker for over 7 years.

8 thoughts on “How To Be Happy: >175 Tips to Help You Live a Happier Life”

I’m so glad I came across this article! I’m currently struggling with finding long-term purpose in my life which has significantly decreased my overall happiness given that I’m very success and achievement driven. Part of it might also be my life stage given that I’m 26. I have very supportive friends and family and am immensely grateful for that as just being in a room of people and not interacting with them gets me feeling down. Example: Both my mom and sister are sitting on their computers and doing either work or school work and I’m just reading my book for fun and am itching to be doing an activity where I’m engaging with them socially. I also have a ton of free time now since my AmeriCorps position starts in late September 2021 and so my time is very unstructured. I hate lack of structure and lack of clarity and uncertainty is definitely also a foe (and life is chalk full of uncertainty I have come to realize). Not only this, but I have Bipolar I disorder.( I’m perfectly comfortable with sharing even though I’ve been told it’s not a good idea since there’s still stigma attached to mental illness. I figure I would rather not amplify that stigma though by choosing to stay silent about it.). This article is very engaging and interesting and uses straightforward and understandable language and thoughts! I haven’t gotten the chance to try any of this yet, but I think I will start small (something I need to work on is being okay with taking smaller steps when necessary) and see if it helps! After all, what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger so it’s worth a shot!
Thank you for your insightful and encouraging piece! Keep writing! You do a great job at it!

Thanks a lot for sharing this, Sofjia. Your words are signs of courage, especially for others who are in the same boat as you are! I wish you all the best, and hope that whatever you do will make you happy. 🙂

What Is Happiness?

Defining Happiness, and How to Become Happier

Kendra Cherry, MS, is an author and educational consultant focused on helping students learn about psychology.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

Verywell/ Jiaqi Zhou

What Is Happiness?

Happiness is something that people seek to find, yet what defines happiness can vary from one person to the next. When most people talk about the true meaning of happiness, they might be talking about how they feel in the present moment or referring to a more general sense of how they feel about life overall.

Happiness Definition:

Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.

Because happiness tends to be such a broadly defined term, psychologists and other social scientists typically use the term ‘subjective well-being’ when they talk about this emotional state. Just as it sounds, subjective well-being tends to focus on an individual’s overall personal feelings about their life in the present.

Two key components of happiness (or subjective well-being) are:

Another definition of happiness comes from the ancient philosopher Aristotle, who suggested that happiness is the one human desire, and all other human desires exist as a way to obtain happiness. He believed that there were four levels of happiness: happiness from immediate gratification, from comparison and achievement, from making positive contributions, and from achieving fulfillment.

Happiness, Aristotle suggested, could be achieved through the golden mean, which involves finding a balance between deficiency and excess.

Signs of Happiness

While perceptions of happiness may be different from one person to the next, there are some key signs that psychologists look for when measuring and assessing happiness.

Some key signs of happiness include:

One important thing to remember is that happiness isn’t a state of constant euphoria. Instead, happiness is an overall sense of experiencing more positive emotions than negative ones.

Happy people still feel the whole range of human emotions—anger, frustrastion, boredom, loneliness, and even sadness—from time to time. But even when faced with discomfort, they have an underlying sense of optimism that things will get better, that they can deal with what is happening, and that they will be able to feel happy again.

Types of Happiness

There are many different ways of thinking about happiness. For example, the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle made a distinction between two different kinds of happiness: hedonia and eudaimonia.

Hedonia and eudemonia are more commonly known today in psychology as pleasure and meaning, respectively. More recently, psychologists have suggested the addition of the third component that relates to engagement. These are feelings of commitment and participation in different areas of life.

Research suggests that happy people tend to rank pretty high on eudaimonic life satisfaction and better than average on their hedonic life satisfaction.

All of these can play an important role in the overall experience of happiness, although the relative value of each can be highly subjective. Some activities may be both pleasurable and meaningful, while others might skew more one way or the other.

For example, volunteering for a cause you believe in might be more meaningful than pleasurable. Watching your favorite tv show, on the other hand, might rank lower in meaning and higher on pleasure.

Some types of happiness that may fall under these three main categories include:

How to Cultivate Happiness

While some people just tend to be naturally happier, there are things that you can do to cultivate your sense of happiness.

Pursue Intrinsic Goals

Achieving goals that you are intrinsically motivated to pursue, particularly ones that are focused on personal growth and community, can help boost happiness. Research suggests that pursuing these types of intrinsically-motivated goals can increase happiness more than pursuing extrinsic goals like gaining money or status. 

Enjoy the Moment

Studies have found that people tend to over earn—they become so focused on accumulating things that they lose track of actually enjoying what they are doing. 

So, rather than falling into the trap of mindlessly accumulating to the detriment of your own happiness, focus on practicing gratitude for the things you have and enjoying the process as you go.

Reframe Negative Thoughts

When you find yourself stuck in a pessimistic outlook or experiencing negativity, look for ways that you can reframe your thoughts in a more positive way.

People have a natural negativity bias, or a tendency to pay more attention to bad things than to good things. This can have an impact on everything from how you make decisions to how you form impressions of other people. Discounting the positive—a cognitive distortion where people focus on the negative and ignore the positive—can also contribute to negative thoughts.

Reframing these negative perceptions isn’t about ignoring the bad. Instead, it means trying to take a more balanced, realistic look at events. It allows you to notice patterns in your thinking and then challenge negative thoughts.

Impact of Happiness

Why is happiness so important? Happiness has been shown to predict positive outcomes in many different areas of life including mental well-being, physical health, and overall longevity.

How to Be a Happier Person

Some people seem to have a naturally higher baseline for happiness—one large-scale study of more than 2,000 twins suggested that around 50% of overall life satisfaction was due to genetics, 10% to external events, and 40% to individual activities.

So while you might not be able to control what your “base level” of happiness is, there are things that you can do to make your life happier and more fulfilling. Even the happiest of individuals can feel down from time to time and happiness is something that all people need to consciously pursue.

Cultivate Strong Relationships

Social support is an essential part of well-being. Research has found that good social relationships are the strongest predictor of happiness. Having positive and supportive connections with people you care about can provide a buffer against stress, improve your health, and help you become a happier person.

In the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a longitudinal study that looked at participants over 80 years, researchers found that relationships and how happy people are in those relationships strongly impacted overall health.

So if you are trying to improve your happiness, cultivating solid social connections is a great place to start. Consider deepening your existing relationships and explore ways to make new friends.

Get Regular Exercise

Exercise is good for both your body and mind. Physical activity is linked to a range of physical and psychological benefits including improved mood. Numerous studies have shown that regular exercise may play a role in warding off symptoms of depression, but evidence also suggests that it may also help make people happier, too.

In one analysis of past research on the connection between physical activity and happiness, researchers found a consistent positive link. 

Even a little bit of exercise produces a happiness boost—people who were physically active for as little as 10 minutes a day or who worked out only once a week had higher levels of happiness than people who never exercised.

Show Gratitude

In one study, participants were asked to engage in a writing exercise for 10 to 20 minutes each night before bed.   Some were instructed to write about daily hassles, some about neutral events, and some about things they were grateful for. The results found that people who had written about gratitude had increase positive emotions, increased subjective happiness, and improve life satisfaction.

As the authors of the study suggest, keeping a gratitude list is a relatively easy, affordable, simple, and pleasant way to boost your mood. Try setting aside a few minutes each night to write down or think about things in your life that you are grateful for.

Find a Sense of Purpose

Research has found that people who feel like they have a purpose have better well-being and feel more fulfilled.   A sense of purpose involves seeing your life as having goals, direction, and meaning. It may help improve happiness by promoting healthier behaviors.

Some things you can do to help find a sense of purpose include:

This sense of purpose is influenced by a variety of factors, but it is also something that you can cultivate. It involves finding a goal that you care deeply about that will lead you to engage in productive, positive actions in order to work toward that goal.

Press Play for Advice On Reaching Your Dreams

Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, featuring best-selling author Dave Hollis, shares how to create your best life. Click below to listen now.

Challenges of Finding Happiness

While seeking happiness is important, there are times when the pursuit of life satisfaction falls short. Some challenges to watch for include:

Valuing the Wrong Things

Money may not be able to buy happiness, but there is research that spending money on things like experiences can make you happier than spending it on material possessions.

One study, for example, found that spending money on things that buy time—such as spending money on time-saving services—can increase happiness and life satisfaction. 

Rather than overvaluing things such as money, status, or material possessions, pursuing goals that result in more free time or enjoyable experiences may have a higher happiness reward.

Not Seeking Social Support

Social support means having friends and loved ones that you can turn to for support. Research has found that perceived social support plays an important role in subjective well-being. For example, one study found that perceptions of social support were responsible for 43% of a person’s level of happiness. 

It is important to remember that when it comes to social support, quality is more important than quantity. Having just a few very close and trusted friends will have a greater impact on your overall happiness than having many casual acquaintances.

Thinking of Happiness as an Endpoint

Happiness isn’t a goal that you can simply reach and be done with. It is a constant pursuit that requires continual nurturing and sustenance.

One study found that people who tend to value happiness most also tended to feel the least satisfied with their lives.   Essentially, happiness becomes such a lofty goal that it becomes virtually unattainable.

“Valuing happiness could be self-defeating because the more people value happiness, the more likely they will feel disappointed,” suggest the authors of the study.

Perhaps the lesson is to not make something as broadly defined as “happiness” your goal. Instead, focus on building and cultivating the sort of life and relationships that bring fulfillment and satisfaction to your life.

It is also important to consider how you personally define happiness. Happiness is a broad term that means different things to different people. Rather than looking at happiness as an endpoint, it can be more helpful to think about what happiness really means to you and then work on small things that will help you become happier. This can make achieving these goals more manageable and less overwhelming.

History of Happiness

Happiness has long been recognized as a critical part of health and well-being. The «pursuit of happiness» is even given as an inalienable right in the U.S. Declaration of Independence. Our understanding of what will bring happiness, however, has shifted over time.

Psychologists have also proposed a number of different theories to explain how people experience and pursue happiness. These theories include:

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

The hierarchy of needs suggests that people are motivated to pursue increasingly complex needs. Once more basic needs are fulfilled, people are then motivated by more psychological and emotional needs.

At the peak of the hierarchy is the need for self-actualization, or the need to achieve one’s full potential. The theory also stresses the importance of peak experiences or transcendent moments in which a person feels deep understanding, happiness, and joy.

Positive Psychology

The pursuit of happiness is central to the field of positive psychology. Psychologists who study positive psychology are interested in learning ways to increase positivity and helping people live happier, more satisfying lives.

Rather than focusing on mental pathologies, the field instead strives to find ways to help people, communities, and societies improve positive emotions and achieve greater happiness.