P.S.: Еще вот думаю добавить цитаты из Rome: Total War (там использовались самые известные выражения римских императоров, полководцев, греческих философов). Также можно разместить тут цитаты из Ведьмака (спереть их с фан-сайта Ведьмака ). Еще, пожалуй, можно что-нибудь из Магии Крови взять, в которую я сейчас играю.

Into the hole again, we hurried along our way, into a once-glorious garden now seeped in dark decay.

Mange-ridden to the core, he leads me through the fray. With the toss of a Jackbomb, I clear abominations from our way.

They taunt me about the burning as if I were to blame, I clear them from my conscious with the eloquence of my blade.

If it’s my keen invention you’d like to destroy, I’ll withstand your best shot; I’ve got the right toy.

Everyone I love dies violently … unnaturally. I’m cursed! Why go on? I’ll just hurt others.

Save myself from death, is that it? Is that why I’ve come here? I’m not afraid to die! At times I’ve welcomed death.

«Mushrooms, poppies, sugar and spice, all those things are very nice. When combined, the proper mixture makes a getting small elixir.» Hm. I don’t really like sweets.

Promise only what you are prepared to deliver. I am destined to do battle with the Red Queen. The outcome is uncertain.

Everyone seems completely dejected. Are things really as bad as all that?
To Mine Worker

I’m not afraid of her or her creatures. Never was, really!
To Mine worker

How many times must I tell you? I only take tea with friends!

If ignorance is bliss, I must be ecstatic.

Where does that smushy lay-about hang his hookah these days?
When talking about Caterpillar

I enjoy the taste of mushrooms, but not the ones that bite back.

I wish I were hallucinating – what a terrible choice; eat a toadstool or become food for insects!

Such order in the midst of chaos makes me woozy and disoriented.

The uninformed must improve their deficit or die.

To the royal guards of this realm, we are all victims-in-waiting.

Only the foolish believe that suffering is just wages for being different.

Only the insane equate pain with success.

Only the savage regard the endurance of pain as a measure of worth.

Only a few find the way; some don’t recognize it when they do; some don’t ever want to.

What is sought is most often found, if it is truly sought.

Tell yourself; «I’ve seen worse at Rutledge’s». Prevarication in this instance may help.

Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here.
Paraphrase of Confucius, «Every journey begins with a single step»

There’s an ugly name for those who do things the hard way.

When the remarkable becomes bizarre, reason turns rancid.

I can’t know everything. Pretend you’re an orphan – oh! That was rude, you are.

I suppose «Experience teaches best», «Learn by doing», and similar clichés have merit. Take their advice; I’m busy.

Observe, learn, and react.

Work if you must. It’s my nature to unwind from time to time.

I’ve heard self-reliance is a virtue. Now you’ve heard it.

Whatever says too much of a good thing must be bad tells a lie.

Whoever says too much of a good thing is not enough speaks the truth.

Meta-Essence is the life force of Wonderland; that of your enemies is especially potent. Collect what you can. Use it wisely.

When Alice obtains the Vorpal Blade.
Your knife is necessary, but not sufficient. Always collect what’s useful. Reject only your ignorance, and you might survive.

When Alice obtains the Playing Cards
52 pickup is a staple of juvenile humor. But when the deck slices and dices, it is no laughing matter.

When Alice obtains the Croquet Mallet
Here’s a riddle: When is a croquet mallet like a billy club? I’ll tell you: Whenever you want it to be.

When Alice obtains the Demon Dice.
Ah, the diabolical Dice … a word of caution; don’t throw them when you’re alone. The fiends lack loyalty and their notion of nourishment is quite disturbing.

When Alice obtains the Jackbomb.
Jack’s a friend, but his temperament is explosive; perhaps best to let him play by himself.

When Alice obtains the Icewand.
Withering cold incapacitates an enemy more completely than deep wounds, but winter does not last forever.

When Alice obtains the Jacks o’ Death
This simple game can turn distinctly nasty. Don’t ever play alone.

When Alice obtains the first piece of the Jabberwock’s Eyestaff.
The Jabberwock’s Eyestaff is incomparably powerful, but its individual pieces are worth less than the carcass of a gnat.

When Alice obtains the penultimate piece of the Jabberwock’s Eyestaff.
The staff lacks only the Jabberwock’s eye. Though he has two, I understand he’s quite fond of them both. I doubt time will change his mind, speaking of which, where’s the Hatter?

When Alice acquires the Deadtime Watch
This unique watch stops time … for a time. Unlike Death, time moves on. Those who have stood still with time move on also … unless they’re dead.

When Alice obtains the Blunderbuss.
The Blunderbuss in the hands of a blockhead is a catastrophe waiting to happen. You’re no dunderhead, but exercise great care.

When Alice obtains the first Ragebox power-up.
Time to raise some havoc! The dogs of war are loose!

When Alice obtains the second Ragebox power-up.
How fine you look when dressed in rage. Your enemies are fortunate that your condition is not permanent. And you’re lucky too: Red eyes suit so few.

When Alice first drinks Grasshopper Tea
Those who say there’s nothing like a nice cup of tea for calming the nerves never had real tea. It’s like a syringe of adrenaline straight to the heart!

When Alice finds a secret Darkened Looking glass.
What they can’t see, they don’t want to hear. You’ll do better if you become corporeal.

Noisy creatures, crooks, and assorted voyeurs would love to be invisible. For you the option may be a matter of survival.

The Guards are tools of the Queen. All suits are dolts, but dangerous.

The Guards lack imagination; don’t play with them, unless you’re ready to deal.

That savage shriek is just the tip of the iceberg that is the Boojums’ repulsive personality.

Boojums have revolting table manners. They’ll eat anything. Dispose of them or become a meal.

Protective walls may impede you, but the walls most difficult to penetrate are those that surround our hearts.

Cling closely to the path, Alice. A fall will dash your head along with all our hopes.

Entering Skool requires a real leap of logic.

Steps to enlightenment brighten the way; but the steps are steep. Take them one at a time.

Countless generations of termites would only digest a mere fraction of the volumes here. And they wouldn’t be one wit wiser.

This Skool serves more than nasty lunches. The laboratories are especially fascinating, if you can stand the vile stench.

Gardeners store rat poison and weed killer in sheds. Skools have laboratories for that purpose.

Nature has ordained that certain seeds require assistance to fulfill their destiny.

Unplanted seeds dry out and die.

Every picture tells a story. Sometimes we don’t like the ending. Sometimes we don’t understand it.

Annihilate what threatens to destroy you.
As Alice faces the Duchess.

Is our situation not dismal? Wonderland is so discombobulated that ladybugs have turned belligerent and enlisted in the Queen’s army.
Punish their conversion.

Haste makes waste, so I rarely hurry. But if a ferret was about to dart up my dress, I’d run.
As Alice confronts a troop of Army Ants’ trap – a huge marble rolling towards her.

Confidence and rashness are sides of a single coin.

I’ve never trusted toadstools, but I suppose some must have their good points.

If your stature were an illness, it seems the Centipede dispenses medicine to make you well.

I’m afraid I have to expell a rather ferocious hairball – you’re on your own, girl.
Before Alice confonts the Voracious Centipede.

Look straight ahead. Or askance – whichever way you choose, you must always look in the right direction.

«Seek and ye shall find», they say, but they don’t say what you’ll find.

Paths that end in trouble are all the same – they only appear different when you don’t know where they lead.

Don’t get spun, whirled, twisted, gyrated, sloshed or tossed. Avoid false moves.

Since you know the rules, best play with Whites – they go first.

The regularity of the board disguises the predatory menace of certain pieces.

You know all the right moves; use them.

Look, Alice. Though his elliptical essence is unrecognisable, it’s wrong to think him worthless.
When Alice meets a silent and hopelessly broken Humpty-Dumpty.

Confront what frightens or offends you; reckless or insulting talk should never go unchallenged.

Gryphon’s an ideal partener; perhaps I’ll just retreat for a nap.

The vile creature is a killer, and even his words can wound.

It’s impolite to keep royalty waiting. But the price of good manners may be too high. This Queen’s a real bitch.

Find the Queen. Ignore her pledge to decapitate intruders … at your peril.

Look for the Queen, but remember: she also has eyes for you.

Time to jump in Time to jump through time. I’m dizzy.

Defeat looms over your allies; total ruin will consume us unless you destroy the Queen. End this carnage; go to the Castle Keep; you are our only hope for survival.

The Queen, the Queen, my lower incisors for the queen. Where is that wretched creature?

Bravery and I are not on intimate terms – my natural curiosity is tempered with caution, thus I’ve lived long. But now, ignoring my instict to flee or fib, I speak the truth without regard to consequence; your courage deserves no less. You’ve suffered great pain, and you’ve caused some. You’ve endured deep grief and feelings of guilt, but you will be tested by a more wrenching anguish, Alice. There is worse to come. You and this Red Queen cannot both survive; you are two parts of the same – MIA-MEOW!

Your hair wants cutting, and perhaps your neck could use a trim!

I like what I do is the same as I do what I like, don’t you agree? So I do.

The Queen accused me of murdering time! Very wrong – I have another object in mind.

If you knew time as well as I, you wouldn’t dream of wasting it!

Off … with … her … head …

I rule Wonderland alone. Your interference will not be tolerated. This realm is for grown-ups; raw, well-ordered, ruthless, careening on the jagged edge of reality. Self-pitying dreamers are not wanted here; they cannot survive here. You fear the truth. You live in shadows. Your pathetic attempts to reclaim your sanity have failed. Retreat into the sterile safety of your self-delusions, or risk inevitable annihilation. If you destroy me, you’ll destroy yourself. Leave now and some hollow part of you may survive. Stay, and I will break you down. You will lose yourself forever!

Alice: You’ve gone quite mangy, Cat. But your grin’s a comfort.
Cheshire Cat: And you’ve picked up a bit of an attitude. Still curious and willing to learn, I hope?
Alice: Wonderland’s become quite strange. How is one to find her way?
Cheshire Cat: As knowing where you’re going is preferable to being lost, ask. Rabbit knows a thing or two, and I, myself, don’t need a weathervane to tell which way the wind blows. Let your need guide your behaviour; suppress your instinct to lead; pursue Rabbit.

Alice: Everyone seems completely dejected. Are things really as bad as all that?
Torch Gnome: The truth would reduce yer to a blubberin’ baby. Are you the savior Rabbit has been tellin’ us about all this time?
Alice: I shouldn’t think so. I’m a person … and just now I wish to get very small … about this big.
Torch Gnome: Calls for serious twistin’. Yeh’ll need to go sideways, not forward. If I knew how, I’d go sideways meself.
Alice: Not twisted. Small. I wish to become about this big.
Torch Gnome: The Fortress of Doors holds such secrets … but it will take more than a wish to get inside.
Cheshire Cat: Doors have locks, locks need keys, which you don’t have. Let’s hope the Doors are open.
Alice: And if not, there may be more than one way to skin a cat, if you’ll pardon the expression.
Cheshire Cat: Most unpleasant metaphor. Please avoid it in future.

Torch Gnome: Rabbit told us a champion would come. Are you that champion?
Alice: Perhaps. Can you get inside the Fortress Of Doors?
Torch Gnome: Oh, no! I wouldn’t dare! Since the upheaval we’ve all become gutless half-wits. I can barely risk crossin’ the road!

Gnome Elder: Why do you pursue me to this … deserted place?
Alice: To benefit from your wisdom.
Gnome Elder: Even blurred vision is valued by the blind. If I were clever, would I cower in this slag heap? I’m not wise, girl. I’ve just … grown old.
Alice: I wish to get very small. Do you know how I might do that?
Gnome Elder: Only that? Oh yes. I could manage that. For a price.
Alice: I have nothing of value.
Gnome Elder: You have nerve and your health. Mine are nearly gone. I’ve seen too much suffering. And I smoke too much, you see.

Alice: There is no lock but it won’t open – it’s stuck.
Cheshire Cat: Think of it as a Chinese Box or a stubborn lid; a tap in the right spot might do the trick.
Alice looks thoughtfully at The Book of Bizzare Things and kicks it off a ledge. It lands on the ground several floors below, and grudgingly opens.
Cheshire Cat: You call that a tap?! Fortunate I didn’t suggest «Force», you might have pulverized it.

Bill: Psst. Over ‘ere.
Alice: Don’t I know you?
Bill: Bill McGill at ya service. Call me Larry. Or not. Got any brandy?
Alice: No. I’ve only my wits.
Bill: Then you have nuffing. Wits are useless ‘ere. Everythink is downside up.
Alice: I must see the Duchess.
Bill: Impossible. She only sees those who don’t wish to see her.
Alice: That’s not right.
Bill: S’perfect. She’s s’posed ta be hidin’ from the Red Queen who wants her dead.
Alice: Her head?
Bill: That too. Ruins me home – builds this monstrosity. She’s as mad as monkey mash! And just as tasteless. Well, nevermind, we’ll all perish soon enough. Sure you’ve no brandy?

Duchess: Come closer, my little chick … mmm, properly seasoned you’d make a handsome dish.
Alice: I’m not edible.
Duchess: Not a full meal, certainly. But a light snack, I think!
Alice: I’ll have the turtle shell now, you disgusting ogre!
Duchess: Over my dead body!
Alice: I’ll try to accommodate you!

Tweedledee: Look, ‘Dum, it’s what’shername from the neurotics ward! Nurse’s favourite lunatic.
Tweedledum: Oh yeah? Scrawney, ain’t she? Who let her out, then? They’ll blame us, most like.
Tweedledee: She’ll need more medicine. Strong medicine.
Tweedledum: She got anything to eat?
Tweedledee: Doubt it. She never finishes her grub at the asylum. If she had any meat on her, she’d make a delectable dish!
Alice: Despicable, grotesque and smelly louts – I’ll fill your bellies, all right!
Cheshire Cat: The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
Alice: Spare me the platitude. Do you have any useful advice?
Cheshire Cat: Use their size against them!

Mad Hatter: Bad timing. Pity. Reliable help is so hard to find these days. Come in, my dear. You’re just in time for tea.
Alice: I only take mine with friends.
Mad Hatter: Count me to be among them. Accurately. I mean, honestly. That’s the truth. Oh, I quite forgot. You and the truth are not on familiar terms.
Alice: And you would know?!
Mad Hatter: Truth is always bitter to those who fear it.
Alice: I fear nothing.
Mad Hatter: False. You fear much … a return trip to the asylum, for example … the memories that drove you there … more years in, shall we say, supervised hospitalization … ah yes, you fear much. Of course, all that might be avoided.
Alice: How? Tell me! What do you mean?

March Hare: Dormy! Wake up! Someone’s come to release us!
Dormouse: It’s just a human … probably useless … *yawn*
March Hare: Undo us, please, from this contraption!
Dormouse: Or you could give us tea … if you prefer …
Alice: Were you impolite at table? Did you slurp your tea, or talk while chewing? Confess your crime!
March Hare: We’ve done nothing of the kind! It’s the Hatter … he’s gone quite mad, I do say so! Speaking of which; how is the Queen of Hearts not like a typhoon?!
Alice: Both are powerful, destructive and indiscriminately cruel. But the typhoon doesn’t mean to be.
March Hare: Good answer! Wrong … but good!
Alice: Oh! I beg your pardon! You are in real danger! Where is your host?
Dormouse: Real danger? Are we? Really? Hare … I wish to go home … evidently I have worn out my welcome …
March Hare: The Hatter will be here at six! Sharp as clockwork!
Dormouse: Misses no opportunity to deny us our tea … most cruel I’m sure … and his medicine makes me tired … *yawn*

Alice: Those two seem to barely comprehend their situation.
Gryphon: They’re blithering idiots. But the Hatter does come at six on the dot.
Alice: For his tea?
Gryphon: No. To check his cruel experiments. With gears, springs, levers and mechanical gizzards, he seeks an impossible precision. Like a watchmaker obsessed with infinitesimal fractions of seconds, or a mathematician who tries to square the circle. He’ll turn all the inhabitants into his Automatons, or kill them in the attempt.
Alice: That’s simply awful! Six o’ clock you say?
Gryphon: Six precisely, by that clock.
Alice: (Looking thoughtfully at a clock whose hands are rotating in opposite directions, never reaching six o’ clock.) Hmmm … perhaps six comes early today …

The Jabberwock: You’ve kept me waiting, Alice. Have you never heard that punctuality’s a virtue?
Alice: You and my dentist’s assistant have much in common.
The Jabberwock: You’re habitually late, aren’t you? Between your dim-witted daydreaming and your preening vanity the hours just fly by; there’s barely time for anything else.
Alice: That the best you can do? Hurl second-rate insults? They don’t hurt …
The Jabberwock: Your family was expecting you to come to them, weren’t they? Perhaps they thought you might warn them of the danger … being close to the source as you were. But they waited in vain, didn’t they, and died for their trouble.
Alice: We were all asleep. It was an accident … I …
The Jabberwock: You selfish, misbegotten and unnatural child! You smelled the smoke, but you were in dreamland taking tea with your friends. You couldn’t be bothered. Your room was protected and spared while your family upstairs roasted in an inferno of incredible horror!
Alice: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

rigenser

rigenser

Полистал я её и наткнулся на что-то знакомое, которое видел раньше у Самуила Маршака.
Вот оно в оригинале у Матушки Гусыни:

The Queen of Hearts

The Queen of Hearts she
made some tarts,
All on a sommer`s day;
The Knave of Hearts he stole those
tarts,
And took them clean away.

The King of Hearts
called for those
tarts,
And beat the Knave full sore.
The Knave of Hearts
brought back those tarts,
And vowed he`d steal no more.

В моём вольном подстрочнике это звучит так:

Королева червей испекла сладкие пироги,
и всё это в один из летних дней.
Валет червей украл эти пироги,
И уволок их прочь.

Король червей спросил про эти пироги,
И побил валета до синяков.
Валет червей принёс назад эти пироги,
И поклялся никогда больше не красть.

А вот что получилось у Маршака:

Дама бубён
Варила бульон
И пуддинг пекла на обед.
Десятка бубён
Украла бульон,
А пуддинг украл валет.

Король бубён
Спросил про бульон
И пуддинга ждал на обед.
Десятка бубён
Вернула бульон,
А пудинг вернул валет.

В оригинале король задал ему сильного жару, и валет, возвращая пироги, обещал больше никогда не красть. Классик решил этим не заморачиваться, и его перевод стал ещё лаконичнее.
Кстати, мне казалось, что я видел этот стишок на русском вот в этой детской книжке:

А что оказалось? Память меня подвела. Там его нет, а стишок этот я, оказывается, видел в старой книжечке карманного формата С. Маршак «Английские баллады и песни», ОГИЗ, Гослитиздат, 1944, которую в детстве я знал почти наизусть.
Вот такие дела.

Приключения Алисы в стране чудес

Глава VIII.

CHAPTER VIII.

КОРОЛЕВСКИЙ КРОКЕТ

The Queen’s Croquet-Ground

A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of them say, ‘Look out now, Five! Don’t go splashing paint over me like that!’

‘I couldn’t help it,’ said Five, in a sulky tone; ‘Seven jogged my elbow.’

On which Seven looked up and said, ‘That’s right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!’

‘YOU’D better not talk!’ said Five. ‘I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!’

— За что?—спросил первый садовник.

‘What for?’ said the one who had spoken first.

‘That’s none of YOUR business, Two!’ said Seven.

‘Yes, it IS his business!’ said Five, ‘and I’ll tell him—it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.’

Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun ‘Well, of all the unjust things—’ when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.

‘Would you tell me,’ said Alice, a little timidly, ‘why you are painting those roses?’

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low voice, ‘Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we’re doing our best, afore she comes, to—’ At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out ‘The Queen! The Queen!’ and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.

Впереди выступали десять солдат с пиками в руках; они были очень похожи на садовников—такие же плоские и четырехугольные, с руками и ногами по углам. За ними шагали десять придворных; их одежды были расшиты крестами, а шли они по двое, как солдаты. За придворными бежали королевские дети, на одеждах которых красовались вышитые червонным золотом сердечки; их было тоже десять; милые крошки держались за руки и весело подпрыгивали на ходу. За ними шествовали гости, все больше Короли и Королевы. Был там и Белый Кролик; он что-то быстро и нервно говорил и всем улыбался. Он прошел мимо Алисы и не заметил ее. За гостями шел Червонный Валет, на алой подушке он нес корону. А замыкали это великолепное шествие ЧЕРВОННЫЕ КОРОЛЬ И КОРОЛЕВА.

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King’s crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.

Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a rule at processions; ‘and besides, what would be the use of a procession,’ thought she, ‘if people had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn’t see it?’ So she stood still where she was, and waited.

When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said severely ‘Who is this?’ She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.

‘Idiot!’ said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to Alice, she went on, ‘What’s your name, child?’

‘My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,’ said Alice very politely; but she added, to herself, ‘Why, they’re only a pack of cards, after all. I needn’t be afraid of them!’

— А это кто такие?—спросила Королева, указывая на повалившихся вокруг куста садовников. Они лежали лицом вниз, а так как рубашки у всех в колоде были одинаковые, она не могла разобрать, садовники это, или придворные, или, может, собственные ее дети.

‘And who are THESE?’ said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.

‘How should I know?’ said Alice, surprised at her own courage. ‘It’s no business of MINE.’

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed ‘Off with her head! Off—’

‘Nonsense!’ said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said ‘Consider, my dear: she is only a child!’

The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave ‘Turn them over!’

Валет осторожно перевернул садовников носом сапога.

The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

‘Get up!’ said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.

‘Leave off that!’ screamed the Queen. ‘You make me giddy.’ And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, ‘What HAVE you been doing here?’

— С позволения Вашего Величества,—смиренно начал Двойка, опускаясь на одно колено,— мы хотели.

‘May it please your Majesty,’ said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, ‘we were trying—’

‘I see!’ said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. ‘Off with their heads!’ and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.

‘You shan’t be beheaded!’ said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.

‘Are their heads off?’ shouted the Queen.

— Пропали их головы, Ваше Величество,—гаркнули солдаты.

‘Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!’ the soldiers shouted in reply.

‘That’s right!’ shouted the Queen. ‘Can you play croquet?’

Солдаты молча взглянули на Алису: видно, Королева обращалась к ней.

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently meant for her.

‘Yes!’ shouted Alice.

‘Come on, then!’ roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering very much what would happen next.

‘It’s—it’s a very fine day!’ said a timid voice at her side. She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

‘Very,’ said Alice: ‘—where’s the Duchess?’

‘Hush! Hush!’ said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered ‘She’s under sentence of execution.’

— За что?—спросила Алиса.

‘What for?’ said Alice.

‘Did you say «What a pity!»?’ the Rabbit asked.

‘No, I didn’t,’ said Alice: ‘I don’t think it’s at all a pity. I said «What for?»‘

‘She boxed the Queen’s ears—’ the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little scream of laughter. ‘Oh, hush!’ the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. ‘The Queen will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the Queen said—’

‘Get to your places!’ shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.

The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.

The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting ‘Off with his head!’ or ‘Off with her head!’ about once in a minute.

Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, ‘and then,’ thought she, ‘what would become of me? They’re dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there’s any one left alive!’

She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself ‘It’s the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to.’

‘How are you getting on?’ said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth enough for it to speak with.

Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. ‘It’s no use speaking to it,’ she thought, ’till its ears have come, or at least one of them.’ In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared.

‘I don’t think they play at all fairly,’ Alice began, in rather a complaining tone, ‘and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can’t hear oneself speak—and they don’t seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them—and you’ve no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there’s the arch I’ve got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground—and I should have croqueted the Queen’s hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!’

‘How do you like the Queen?’ said the Cat in a low voice.

‘Not at all,’ said Alice: ‘she’s so extremely—’ Just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, ‘—likely to win, that it’s hardly worth while finishing the game.’

Королева улыбнулась и отошла.

The Queen smiled and passed on.

— С кем что ты разговариваешь?—спросил Король, подходя к Алисе и с любопытством глядя на парящую голову.

‘Who ARE you talking to?’ said the King, going up to Alice, and looking at the Cat’s head with great curiosity.

‘It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat,’ said Alice: ‘allow me to introduce it.’

— Он мне совсем не нравится,—заметил Король.—Впрочем пусть поцелует мне руку, если хочет.

‘I don’t like the look of it at all,’ said the King: ‘however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.’

— Особого желания не имею,— сказал Кот.

‘I’d rather not,’ the Cat remarked.

‘Don’t be impertinent,’ said the King, ‘and don’t look at me like that!’ He got behind Alice as he spoke.

‘A cat may look at a king,’ said Alice. ‘I’ve read that in some book, but I don’t remember where.’

‘Well, it must be removed,’ said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, ‘My dear! I wish you would have this cat removed!’

The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. ‘Off with his head!’ she said, without even looking round.

‘I’ll fetch the executioner myself,’ said the King eagerly, and he hurried off.

Алиса услыхала, как Королева что-то громко кричит вдалеке, и пошла посмотреть, что там происходит. Она уже слышала, как Королева приказала отрубить головы трем игрокам за то, что они пропустили свою очередь. В целом происходящее очень не понравилось Алисе: вокруг царила такая путаница, что она никак не могла понять, кому играть. И она побрела обратно, высматривая в рытвинах своего ежа.

Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going on, as she heard the Queen’s voice in the distance, screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.

The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree.

By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: ‘but it doesn’t matter much,’ thought Alice, ‘as all the arches are gone from this side of the ground.’ So she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with her friend.

Подойдя к тому месту, где в воздухе парила его голова, она с удивлением увидела, что вокруг образовалась большая толпа. Палач, Король и Королева шумно спорили; каждый кричал свое, не слушая другого, а остальные молчали и только смущенно переминались с ноги па ногу.

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable.

Завидев Алису, все трое бросились к ней, чтобы она разрешила их спор. Они громко повторяли свои доводы, но, так как говорили все разом, она никак не могла понять, в чем дело.

The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what they said.

Палач говорил, что нельзя отрубить голову, если, кроме головы, ничего больше нет; он такого никогда не делал и делать не собирается; стар он для этого, вот что!

The executioner’s argument was, that you couldn’t cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn’t going to begin at HIS time of life.

Король говорил, что раз есть голова, то ее можно отрубить. И нечего нести вздор!

The King’s argument was, that anything that had a head could be beheaded, and that you weren’t to talk nonsense.

А Королева говорила, что, если сию же минуту они не перестанут болтать и не примутся за дело, она велит отрубить головы всем подряд! (Эти-то слова и повергли общество в уныние).

The Queen’s argument was, that if something wasn’t done about it in less than no time she’d have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.)

Alice could think of nothing else to say but ‘It belongs to the Duchess: you’d better ask HER about it.’

‘She’s in prison,’ the Queen said to the executioner: ‘fetch her here.’ And the executioner went off like an arrow.

Как только он убежал, голова Кота начала медленно таять в воздухе, так что к тому времени, когда палач привел Герцогиню, головы уже не было видно. Король и палач заметались по крокетной площадке, а гости вернулись к игре.

The Cat’s head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

5
A mad tea-party

There was a table under a tree outside the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea. A Dormouse was sitting between them, asleep. The three of them were all sitting together at one corner of the table, but the table was large and there were many other seats. Alice sat down in a big chair at one end.

‘Have some coffee,’ the March Hare said in a friendly voice.

Alice looked all round the table, but she could only see a teapot. ‘I don’t see any coffee,’ she said.

‘There isn’t any,’ said the March Hare.

‘Then why did you ask me to have some?’ said Alice crossly. ‘It wasn’t very polite of you.’

‘It wasn’t very polite of you to sit down. We haven’t invited you to tea,’ said the March Hare.

‘But there are lots of seats,’ said Alice.

‘Your hair’s too long,’ said the Hatter, looking at Alice with interest.

‘It’s not polite to say things like that,’ said Alice.

The Hatter looked surprised, but he said, ‘Why is a bird like a desk?’

Alice was pleased. She enjoyed playing wordgames, so she said, ‘That’s an easy question.’

‘Do you mean you know the answer?’ said the March Hare.

‘Then you must say what you mean,’ the March Hare said.

‘I do,’ Alice said quickly. ‘Well, I mean what I say. And that’s the same thing, you know.’

‘No, it isn’t!’ said the Hatter. ‘Listen to this. I see what I eat means one thing, but I eat what I see means something very different.’

Alice did not know what to say to this. So she took some tea and some bread-and-butter while she thought about it. The Dormouse woke up for a minute and then went to sleep again. After a while the Hatter took out his watch, shook it, then looked at it sadly.

‘Two days slow! I told you that butter wasn’t good for watches!’ he said angrily to the March Hare.

‘It was the best butter,’ said the March Hare sadly.

Alice was looking at the watch with interest. ‘It’s a strange watch,’ she said. ‘It shows the day of the week, but not the time.’

‘But we know the time,’ said the Hatter. ‘It’s always six o’clock here.’

Alice suddenly understood. ‘Is that why there are all these cups and plates?’ she said. ‘It’s always tea-time here, and you go on moving round the table. Is that right? But what happens when you come to the beginning again?’

‘Don’t ask questions,’ said the March Hare crossly. ‘You must tell us a story now.’

‘But I don’t know any stories,’ said Alice.

Then the March Hare and the Hatter turned to the Dormouse. ‘Wake up, Dormouse!’ they shouted loudly in its ears. ‘Tell us a story.’

‘Yes, please do,’ said Alice.

The Dormouse woke up and quickly began to tell a story, but a few minutes later it was asleep again. The March Hare poured a little hot tea on its nose, and the Hatter began to look for a clean plate. Alice decided to leave and walked away into the wood. She looked back once, and the March Hare and the Hatter were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

‘Well, I won’t go there again,’ said Alice. ‘What a stupid tea-party it was!’ Just then she saw a door in one of the trees. ‘How curious!’ she thought. ‘But everything is strange today. I think I’ll go in.’

So she went in. And there she was, back in the long room with the little glass table. At once, she picked up the gold key from the table, unlocked the little door into the garden, and then began to eat a piece of mushroom. When she was down to about thirty centimetres high, she walked through the door, and then, at last, she was in the beautiful garden with its green trees and bright flowers.

6
The Queen’s game of croquet

Near the door there was a rose-tree and three gardeners, who were looking at the roses in a very worried way.

‘What’s the matter?’ Alice said to them.

‘You see, Miss,’ said the first gardener, ‘these roses are white, but the Queen only likes red roses, and she – ’

‘The Queen!’ said the second gardener suddenly, and at once, the three gardeners lay down flat on their faces. Alice turned round and saw a great crowd of people.

It was a pack of cards, walking through the garden. There were clubs (they were soldiers), and diamonds, and ten little children (they were hearts). Next came some Kings and Queens. Then Alice saw the White Rabbit, and behind him, the Knave of Hearts. And last of all, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.

When the crowd came near to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said, ‘Who are you?’

‘My name is Alice, Your Majesty,’ said Alice very politely. But she thought to herself, ‘They’re only a pack of cards. I don’t need to be afraid of them!’

‘And who are these?’ said the Queen, looking at the three gardeners. Then she saw the white roses, and her face turned red and angry. ‘Off with their heads!’ she shouted, and soldiers hurried up to take the gardeners away. The Queen turned to Alice. ‘Can you play croquet?’ she shouted.

‘Yes!’ shouted Alice.

‘Come on, then!’ shouted the Queen. The crowd began to move on, and Alice went with them.

‘It’s – it’s a very fine day,’ said a worried voice in her ear. Alice saw that the White Rabbit was by her side.

‘Very fine,’ said Alice. ‘Where’s the Duchess?’

‘Shhh!’ said the Rabbit in a hurried voice. ‘She’s in prison, waiting for execution.’

‘What for?’ said Alice.

But just then the Queen shouted, ‘Get to your places!’ and the game began.

It was the strangest game of croquet in Alice’s life! The balls were hedgehogs, and the mallets were flamingoes. And the hoops were made by soldiers, who turned over and stood on their hands and feet. Alice held her flamingo’s body under her arm, but the flamingo turned its long neck first this way and then that way. At last, Alice was ready to hit the ball with the flamingo’s head. But by then, the hedgehog was tired of waiting and was walking away across the croquet-ground. And when both the flamingo and the hedgehog were ready, there was no hoop! The soldiers too were always getting up and walking away. It really was a very difficult game, Alice thought.

The players all played at the same time, and they were always arguing and fighting for hedgehogs. Nobody could agree about anything. Very soon, the Queen was wildly angry, and went around shouting ‘Off with his head!’ or ‘Off with her head!’ about once a minute.

Alice began to feel worried. ‘The Queen is sure to argue with me soon,’ she thought. ‘And what will happen to me then? They’re cutting people’s heads off all the time here. I’m surprised there is anyone left alive!’

Just then she saw something very strange. She watched carefully, and after a minute or two she saw that the thing was a grin. ‘It’s the Cheshire Cat,’ she said to herself. ‘Now I’ll have somebody to talk to.’

‘How are you getting on?’ said the Cat, when its mouth appeared.

Alice waited. ‘I can’t talk to something without ears,’ she thought. Slowly the Cat’s eyes, then its ears, and then the rest of its head appeared. But it stopped at the neck, and its body did not appear.

Alice began to tell the Cat all about the game. ‘It’s very difficult to play,’ she said. ‘Everybody argues all the time, and the hoops and the hedgehogs walk away.’

‘How do you like the Queen?’ said the Cat quietly.

‘I don’t,’ said Alice. ‘She’s very – ’ Just then she saw the Queen behind her, so she went on, ‘ – clever. She’s the best player here.’

The Queen smiled and walked past.

‘Who are you talking to?’ said the King. He came up behind Alice and looked at the Cat’s head in surprise.

‘It’s a friend of mine – a Cheshire Cat,’ said Alice.

‘I’m not sure that I like it,’ said the King. ‘But it can touch my hand if it likes.’

‘I prefer not to,’ said the Cat.

‘Well!’ said the King angrily. He called out to the Queen, ‘My dear! There’s a cat here, and I don’t like it.’

The Queen did not look round. ‘Off with its head!’ she shouted. ‘Call for the executioner!’

Alice was a little worried for her friend, but when the executioner arrived, everybody began to argue.

‘I can’t cut off a head,’ said the executioner, ‘if there isn’t a body to cut it off from.’

‘You can cut the head off,’ said the King, ‘from anything that’s got a head.’

‘If somebody doesn’t do something quickly,’ said the Queen, ‘I’ll cut everybody’s head off.’

Nobody liked that plan very much, so they all turned to Alice. ‘And what do you say?’ they cried.

‘The Cat belongs to the Duchess,’ said Alice carefully. ‘Perhaps you could ask her about it.’

‘She’s in prison,’ the Queen said to the executioner. ‘Bring her here at once.’

But then the Cat’s head slowly began to vanish, and when the executioner came back with the Duchess, there was nothing there. The King ran wildly up and down, looking for the Cat, and the Duchess put her arm round Alice. ‘I’m so pleased to see you again, my dear!’ she said.

‘Let’s get on with the game,’ the Queen said angrily, and Alice followed her back to the croquet-ground.

The game went on, but all the time the Queen was arguing, and shouting ‘Off with his head!’ or ‘Off with her head!’ Soon there were no hoops left, because the soldiers (who were the hoops) were too busy taking everybody to prison. And at the end there were only three players left – the King, the Queen, and Alice.

The Queen stopped shouting and said to Alice, ‘Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?’

‘No,’ said Alice. ‘I’m not sure what a Mock Turtle is.’

‘Then come with me,’ said the Queen.

They found the Mock Turtle down by the sea. Next to him was a Gryphon, asleep in the sun. Then the Queen hurried away, saying, ‘I have to get on with some executions.’

The Gryphon woke up, and said sleepily to Alice, ‘It’s just talk, you know. They never execute anybody.’

Alice was pleased to hear this. She felt a little afraid of the Gryphon and the Mock Turtle, because they were so large. But they were very friendly, and sang songs and told her many stories about their lives. The Mock Turtle was in the middle of a very sad song when they all heard a shout a long way away: ‘It’s beginning!’

‘Come on! We must hurry!’ cried the Gryphon. It took Alice by the hand and began to run.

7
Who stole the tarts?

The King and Queen of Hearts were sitting on their thrones when Alice and the Gryphon arrived. There was a great crowd of birds and animals, and all the pack of cards.

Soldiers stood all around the Knave of Hearts, and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand.

In the middle of the room there was a table, with a large plate of tarts on it. ‘They look good,’ thought Alice, who was feeling a little hungry.

Then the White Rabbit called out loudly, ‘Silence! The trial of the Knave of Hearts will now begin!’ He took out a long piece of paper, and read:

The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day.
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them all away.

‘Very good,’ said the King. ‘Call the first witness.’

Alice looked at the jury, who were now writing everything down. It was a very strange jury. Some of the jurymen were animals, and the others were birds.

Then the White Rabbit blew his trumpet three times, and called out, ‘First witness!’

The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other hand. ‘I’m very sorry, Your Majesty,’ he said. ‘I was in the middle of tea when the trial began.’

‘Take off your hat,’ the King said.

‘It isn’t mine,’ said the Hatter.

‘Stolen! Write that down,’ the King said to the jury.

‘I keep hats to sell,’ explained the Hatter. ‘I don’t have a hat myself. I’m a Hatter.’

‘Give your evidence,’ said the King, ‘or we’ll cut your head off.’

The Hatter’s face turned white. ‘I’m a poor man, Your Majesty,’ he began, in a shaking voice.

Just then Alice had a strange feeling. After a minute or two she understood what it was.

‘Don’t push like that,’ said the Dormouse, who was sitting next to her. ‘I’m nearly falling off my seat.’

‘I’m very sorry,’ Alice said politely. ‘I’m getting bigger and taller, you see.’

‘Well, you can’t do that here,’ said the Dormouse crossly, and he got up and moved to another seat.

The Hatter was still giving evidence, but nobody could understand a word of it. The King looked at the Queen, and the Queen looked at the executioner.

The unhappy Hatter saw this, and dropped his bread-and-butter. ‘I’m a poor man, Your Majesty,’ he said again.

‘You’re a very poor speaker,’ said the King. He turned to the White Rabbit. ‘Call the next witness,’ he said.

The next witness was the Duchess’s cook, who spoke very angrily and said that she would not give any evidence. The King looked worried and told the White Rabbit to call another witness. Alice watched while the White Rabbit looked at the names on his piece of paper. Then, to her great surprise, he called out loudly, ‘Alice!’

‘Here!’ cried Alice, jumping to her feet.

‘What do you know about these tarts?’ said the King.

‘Nothing,’ said Alice.

The Queen was looking hard at Alice. Now she said, ‘All people a mile high must leave the room.’

‘I’m not a mile high,’ said Alice. ‘And I won’t leave the room. I want to hear the evidence.’

‘There is no more evidence,’ said the King very quickly, ‘and now the jury will – ’

‘Your Majesty!’ said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry. ‘We’ve just found this letter. There’s no name on it, but I think the Knave wrote it.’

‘No, I didn’t!’ said the Knave loudly.

‘Read it to us,’ said the King.

‘Where shall I begin, Your Majesty?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Begin at the beginning,’ said the King, ‘and go on until you get to the end, then stop.’

Everybody listened very carefully while the White Rabbit read these words.

They tell me you have been to her,
And talked of me to him.
She thought I was a gardener,
But said I could not swim.

He tells them that I have not gone,
(We know that this is true).
If she decides to hurry on,
What will they do to you?

I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more.
They all returned from him to you,
But they were mine before.

‘That’s a very important piece of evidence,’ said the King. He looked very pleased. ‘Now the jury must – ’

‘If anybody in the jury can explain that letter,’ said Alice (she was not afraid of anything now, because she was much bigger than everybody in the room), ‘I’ll give him sixpence. It’s all nonsense! It doesn’t mean anything.’

The jury busily wrote this down. ‘She thinks it’s all nonsense.’

‘All nonsense, eh?’ said the King. He read some of the words again. ‘But said I could not swim. You can’t swim, can you?’ he said to the Knave.

The Knave’s face was sad. ‘Do I look like a swimmer?’ he said. (And he didn’t – because he was made of paper.)

The King smiled. ‘I understand everything now,’ he said. ‘There are the tarts, and here is the Knave of Hearts. And now the jury must decide who the thief is.’

‘No, no!’ said the Queen. ‘Off with his head! The jury can say what it thinks later.’

‘What nonsense!’ said Alice loudly. ‘The jury must decide first. You can’t – ’

‘Be quiet!’ said the Queen, her face turning red.

‘I won’t!’ said Alice.

‘Off with her head!’ screamed the Queen. Nobody moved.

‘It doesn’t matter what you say,’ said Alice. ‘You’re only a pack of cards!’

Then the pack of cards flew up into the sky and began to fall on Alice’s face. She gave a little scream … and woke up. She was lying next to her sister under the trees, and some leaves were falling on her face.

‘Wake up, Alice dear,’ said her sister. ‘You’ve been asleep a long time.’

‘Oh, I’ve had a very curious dream!’ said Alice, and she told her sister all about the strange adventures in her wonderful dream.

GLOSSARY

appear to come where somebody can see you

argue to talk angrily with someone when you do not agree

croquet a game using mallets to knock balls through small hoops

curious strange (‘good English’ – see page 7 – would be more curious, not curiouser)

dream a picture in your head when you are asleep

duchess the title of an important woman

evidence information about something or someone given at a law trial

execution cutting somebody’s head off

grin a big, friendly smile

invite to ask someone to come somewhere, or to do something

jury twelve people at a trial who listen to the evidence and then decide if someone is a criminal or not

mad ill in the head

nonsense silly or stupid talk or ideas

polite saying things like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ is polite

trial the time when people (a judge, a jury, etc.) decide if someone has done something wrong

vanish to go away very quickly or surprisingly

witness somebody who gives evidence at a trial

worried feeling that something is wrong

Your Majesty words that you say when talking to a queen or king

ACTIVITIES

ACTIVITIES
Before Reading

1 Read the back cover and the story introduction on the first page. Who does Alice meet in Wonderland? Tick the right boxes for the answers.

2 What does Alice do in the story? Tick the right boxes.

3 Who will say these words in the story? Can you guess?

1 ‘Oh, where did I drop my gloves?’

2 ‘I told you that butter wasn’t good for watches!’

3 ‘You can visit either of them. They’re both mad.’

4 ‘Off with his head!’

5 ‘How strange everything is today!’

ACTIVITIES
While Reading

Read Chapter 1, and put these sentences in the right order.

1 Alice found a small key and unlocked a very small door.

2 Alice fell down a rabbit-hole.

3 Alice drank something from a bottle and got very small.

4 Alice ate a small cake, which said, ‘EAT ME’.

5 Alice saw a White Rabbit and ran after him.

6 Alice tried to climb up a table leg to get the key again.

Before you read Chapter 2, can you guess what will happen? Choose one ending for this sentence.

When Alice has finished eating the cake, she will …

a) be ill. b) get smaller. c) get bigger. d) wake up.

Read Chapter 2. Here are some untrue sentences about it. Change them into true sentences.

1 Alice was soon as small as a mouse.

2 The Duchess dropped her gloves and fan.

3 The fan made Alice get bigger.

4 Alice fell into the sea.

5 While she was swimming, Alice met a cat.

6 Alice suddenly found herself outside in a garden.

Read Chapter 3. Choose the best question-word for these questions, and then answer them.

1 … did the Caterpillar tell Alice to do?

2 … couldn’t Alice explain herself?

3 … did the Caterpillar call Alice back?

4 … did Alice have to eat if she wanted to get bigger?

5 … did the bird call Alice?

6 … didn’t Alice answer the question about stealing eggs?

Read Chapters 4 and 5. Choose the best words to complete this summary of the chapters.

When Alice went into the Duchess’s kitchen / bedroom, there was a cat which was screaming / grinning, and a baby who was screaming / grinning. The Duchess gave / took the baby from / to Alice, but the baby was / turned into a pig. After that Alice had / spoke a conversation with the Cheshire Cat and they talked to / about mad people.

At the tea-party the March Hare said, ‘Have some coffee / tea,’ but there wasn’t some / any. Later, he said to Alice, ‘You must mean / say what you mean / say.’ The Hatter had a watch which showed / didn’t show the time because it was always / never six o’clock there. The tea-party always / never finished, and they just went on moving / moved round the table. Alice thought it was a very clever / stupid tea-party and went away.

Before you read Chapter 6 (The Queen’s game of croquet), can you guess what happens?

Tick one box each time.

Read Chapters 6 and 7. Match these halves of sentences.

1 The croquet game was very strange …

2 The Queen of Hearts got very angry …

3 Then Alice saw her friend the Cheshire Cat, …

4 The King didn’t like the Cat’s head …

5 But the executioner couldn’t cut off a head …

6 After the croquet there was a jury trial to find out …

7 While the Hatter was giving his evidence, …

8 At the end Alice began to argue with the Queen, …

9 but only its head appeared, not its body.

10 and then she woke up.

11 because everybody had to use flamingoes for mallets.

12 who stole the tarts made by the Queen of Hearts.

13 and wanted to cut it off.

14 Alice was getting bigger and taller.

15 and sent nearly everybody to prison.

16 if there wasn’t a body to cut it off from.

ACTIVITIES
After Reading

1 Here is Alice, telling her sister about her dream. But it is difficult to remember dreams, and Alice gets a lot of things wrong. Can you find her mistakes and correct them?

ALICE: Well, first I saw a brown rabbit, who took a clock out of his bag, and then I fell down a mouse-hole.

SISTER: Oh dear! Were you afraid?

ALICE: Oh no. I fell very quickly, you see. And when I ate or drank things, I got fatter or thinner. I talked to a caterpillar who was sitting under a mushroom, and I also talked to a Duchess. Oh yes, and there was a baby that turned into a fish. Then I played croquet – but for balls we had flamingoes, and the mallets were hedgehogs.

SISTER: There were a lot of animals in your dream.

ALICE: Yes, there were. There was also a Cheshire Cat who cried, and I had lunch with a March Hare and a Hatter —

SISTER: A hatter?

ALICE: Yes, you know, a man who buys hats. He was one of the jurymen who gave evidence at the trial —

SISTER: What trial was that?

ALICE: Oh, somebody ate some tarts. But the evidence was all nonsense, and the King of Hearts wanted to cut people’s heads off all the time.

SISTER: Cut their heads off? That’s terrible!

ALICE: They didn’t really cut people’s heads off, you know. They were just a box of cards – made of wood.

2 Later, Alice wrote a song about her dream. Fill in the gaps with seven of these words. For each gap, there are two possible words. Which are they, and why is one of them better? (Think about the sound of the word.)

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