To be truly attractive, you need to have your own life by working on yourself!

When you are trying to get in a relationship or make a girl like you and you have a boring life, this is literally what you are doing. You are making the packaging look great, but in reality… you have no life.

Imagine having such an amazing life and doing awesome things that you say, “Hey girl, I really like you and enjoy having you around, wanna stick around?” and that’s all it takes. Make your own personal life interesting and girls will flock.

2) Have an interesting hobby or passion

Here’s another super interesting tip that is hard to find elsewhere on the internet. Literally having just one passion will make you seem more interesting, plus it adds respect to tip #1, you’re starting your own life.

Your hobby can be anything that you’re passionate about, just make sure it’s true passion and not faked. If I said I loved chainsaws and carving chainsaw art in my free time, but I actually didn’t, the sparkle won’t be there and the girl won’t see it.

The trick with passions is that you should actually start with something you enjoy, and then keep working on it. The better you get with that task, and the more you improve your skill… the more of a passion it will become and the more attractive a girl might find you practicing it.

One study says that having any hobby, even if it’s sexual in nature will improve your attractiveness to a potential date.

When you are actually passionate about something, your girl will notice. There’s something infinitely sexy about a guy with an intense passion towards something. It could be programming, motorcycling, cooking, drawing, reading, playing an instrument and anything else that suits your fancy, just put the time in. Bonus points if you create something in the process.

3) Have Great Hygiene

Okay guys. Number one tip to instantly make a girl attracted. Smell good. I don’t even mean smell amazing, you just have to smell decent.

Go take a shower, rub body soap all over you. Twice. Shampoo your hair, dry yourself off, apply deodorant, put clean clothes on, and you’re set. No need to douse yourself with half a gallon of Axe bodyspray like a middle-schooler in love with a girl he likes, you just have to smell presentable.

You can, though, buy some cologne and spray one squirt. Two squirts max. On yourself (not on your clothes). I recommend one on the wrist and one near your neckline. This is all it takes to smell great, and girls fall for great smelling guys all the time.

Honestly, this trick alone is enough to more than double your chances at getting a date with a girl.

4) Ask her to do things for you

So this is definitely a secret tip, and maybe even a bit manipulative, but definitely not anything evil or negative. Just ask her to do something for you. There is a psychological effect called the Benjamin Franklin effect that goes like this.

You ask a girl to do something for you, she does it, she subconsciously likes you a bit more. You might be asking “why though”. Well, when we do stuff for people, our brain thinks since we do something for someone, we must like them.

Benjamin Franklin used this techniques on his rivals and political opponents to get them to like him more. It worked so well, they named it the Benjamin Franklin Effect.

Also, something called the consistency bias. After someone has done something for you a couple times, they’re more likely to do more for you just because they don’t want to look inconsistent.

Tip: ask for things like, picking up a pencil, for notes in class, giving someone a paper, and even small errands. Don’t overdo it though or she will feel like you’re using her.

5) Make her laugh

This is a great tip!

You may think you’re not funny, but the truth is everyone can be funny if they try. You have to put yourself in enough situations to get used to the awkwardness of telling an unfunny joke enough that you have the confidence to tell more jokes around people.

The more you tell, the better you will get.

Girls love laughing (there’s tons of studies on this – humor is very closely related to high social status), and the more you can make them laugh, the higher up in the social chain you will seem.

It proves that you’re intellectually strong and humorous, which is a desirable trait in a future mate. Also, this will give you a chance to see where her eyes are going when she laughs, to tell if she is interested in you.

A great way to tell if a girl likes you or is romantically interested in you is to look where her eyes dart when she laughs. If her eyes dart at you first when she laughs, she probably likes you at a subconscious level.

One of the easiest ways to make a girl laugh is to play a questions game with her. This actually works for anyone, but you can check out our articles for 382 Never Have I Ever Questions and 268 Would You Rather Questions for great inspiration.

This is an amazing trick to make anyone your girlfriend, but it’ll also make guys like you too, increasing your rank on the dominance hierarchy… and ultimate increasing your status in a girl’s eyes.

6) Be her friend

There is a big difference between being her friend, and being friendzoned. Also, I want to note, it’s been proven and totally acceptable to be in the friendzone for months at a time and then move in and start dating. Go the extra mile and do stuff that makes her smile. Leave little notes in her car. Send her good morning texts.

Talk her through her problems and sympathize with her. In fact, in doing these things, you’re practically halfway dating her already. You just have to tell her you want her for the rest of your life and then you’re basically set.

Really, though… the best relationships lay their foundations in truth and friendship.

Here’s a quick tip: Ask her and find out her favorite color. Within the week, buy flowers and send the flowers to her workplace.

Not only will this make her feel special because you sent her flowers, but sending them to her workplace will make you stand out… girls love feeling special and showing other people.

Check out my article on Wifey Material if you’re looking to get serious!

7) Break the “Touch Barrier”

Here’s a good subconscious psychological tip that can work amazingly well in many situations. Touch her shoulder, ask her for something and grab it out of her hand, or make up some game that requires touch and play it with her, like rock paper scissors.

Come up with a cool handshake if you have to. The idea is to make her know that you’re willing to touch her in a nonsexual way because you feel comfortable around her and to get her reaction.

If she seems disgusted or scared, don’t touch her any more.

8 ) Tell her secrets

Tell her a secret about you, something personal that not very many people know. This will open the door for trust and as you tell her things about you, she will notice that you trust her, which in turn will make her trust you more.

Psychologically, we like and trust people who trust us first, because we have a natural instinct to be wary of new people and to not trust them. So when you prove you trust her, she will start to reciprocate in the same fashion.

If you’re finding yourself wondering “how do I get her to like me?”, then start with tip #1 and by the time you’re to this step, you should be able to gain her trust with a secret.

I recommend telling her secrets you’d be okay with if other people knew just in case she tells someone, but make sure they are personal, and that they would be considered a secret.

Bonus points for things that are slightly embarrassing as well. Something like you have 11 toes or you’re voting for Trump should do fine. Just remember that girls love it when you tell them secrets.

9) Give her all of your attention

In a world where your attention can go anywhere, it is one of the most valuable things you can give a girl. If you want her, pay attention to her, and not just for a couple minutes.

Look her in the eyes when she’s talking to you and make mental note of all the stuff she’s talking about, if you can mention it in later conversations, she’ll feel special and start to enjoy your presence.

In my dating course (which I talk about below), I teach you about the 5 levels of listening, from physical sound to empathetic listening. You can really get a girl to fall in love with you once you relate on an emotional level and understand her simply by listening.

A tip that is opposite of this is to not give her all of your attention. Some girls will be more attracted to you if you don’t bend to her every will. In fact, it’s been proven women are more attracted to guys who’s feelings aren’t clear to them.

This is a controversial topic in the pickup world, and guys are split about 50/50 on this:

In my opinion, what really matters is the girl that you’re chasing. Option 1 usually works better for a one-night stand. Option 2 usually works better if your goal is a long-term committed relationship. Choose your pickup approach carefully!

Oh, by the way, one of the best ways to give attention to someone is to ask them lots of questions. For example, we’ve put together a list of 200 questions to ask a girl that you can check out for ideas. There’s also a list of questions to ask a guy, if you want to give her some questions to ask you!

10) Beef up your confidence game

I’ll be making a video soon on some amazing secret tips that you can do each day to boost your confidence game. This has a lot to do with being self-aware and knowing what makes you feel awkward and insecure and working on yourself to improve this and become more secure and confident who you are as a person.

The best general advice I can give you to become more confident and to make a girl like you is to workout regularly. If you’re in middle or high school, I suggest weightlifting 3 days a week: arms, legs, and core or some cardio.

If you’re trying to get a girl to like you in high school, and especially if you’re in college, you can get into more advanced workout schedules and supplements. This goes back to tip #1: work on yourself.

I’ve actually put together a full PDF of 27 ways to increase your own confidence for you if you want more confidence tips.

Girls love it when a guy shows that he’s not offended or constantly worrying about what other people think. If you’re here searching how to get girls to like you, then being more confident in your thoughts and your actions is a surefire way to be more attractive to anyone.

I once heard a story about a guy who was on steroids (yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it), but his confidence was so insane he just went up to like 7-8 women on the spot and asked them out in a week. All of them said yes.

Later, when he was off his cycle… he asked them why they agreed so quickly (because he wasn’t the most attractive and wasn’t used to girls showing interest in him). They answered in different ways, but they all said they loved his confidence and just felt like he would be a great boyfriend. Note: this is anecdotal evidence and you should take it as that.

If you have any more tips on how to get a girl to like you, leave a comment below and I’d love to add them to help more people.

Now, I know the video I originally created was only 10 tips, but because this article and video have gone so viral, I’ve decided to add a few more tips to help make a girl attracted to you.

11) Similarity-Attraction Effect

So there’s an effect in psychology and sociology both, that we like people who are similar to us. I mean, you’re more likely to enjoy spending time with a girl who also likes to watch Stranger Things, than one who would rather spend her time doing something you’ve never heard of.

You can use this to your benefit too!

The trick is to listen to the girl you’re talking to very carefully and simply highlight the things that you have in common. She says she likes country music? Let her know your favorite band!

To get your crush to like you, even do some research beforehand and find out what she likes and check them out… but be genuine. If you say you like something she likes, but are just saying it to win her over she will eventually figure you out.

Studies have proven this effect over and over again and it can be from things like favorite colors to attitudes, to even haircuts. I suspect this is because if they are more like us, then they are more predictable, and from a psychological perspective our brains think they are safer people.

12) Familiarity Effect

There’s another effect just like the similarity-attraction effect called the familiarity effect, and as the name implies, girls like guys who are more familiar. Some psychologists call this the mere-exposure effect. This is why so many couples end up getting back together 10-20 years after high school, because they’re familiar with each other.

It’s also why CocaCola will spend billions on billboards even though almost nobody notices them anymore. They’re just getting you familiar with their brand. According to many studies, we like things we are familiar with them. Do the same thing with girls.

Make sure that cute girl you like sees you every day, even if it takes a year for you to ask her out! Learning how to make a girl smile isn’t that difficult, especially if you’re already in her social circle.

Even if you don’t think you can pull a girl you like because she might be out of your league… start by getting her familiar to seeing you and you’ll exponentially increase your chances. There are tons of guys who have had a girl out of their league like them simply by being familiar with them first.

13) Novel Effect

There was a study done where people were given new computer tools to accomplish a job.

What the researchers found was that productivity almost tripled, but the technology wasn’t really new, just new to the people using it. After some time, their productivity went back to normal levels. Things that are novel, or new and unusual activate parts of our brain that invoke curiosity, and thus attractiveness.

Curiosity and romantic attractiveness are on the same arousal level. It’s why a lot of experts suggest taking your date to a scary movie.

Now you know why that guys with the crazy beard gets so many girls. Be you, be new, and work on improving yourself to be more attractive using psychology. The Novel effect is a great way to get a girl to like you over texts because almost everyone has their own texting style.

14) Bedroom Eyes

Bedroom eyes is a facial expression that not very many people know about. Basically, just soften your gaze, relax your face, and… here’s the trick… dilate your pupils.

Utilizing bedroom eyes on a girl that you’re familiar with is a surefire way to either get her to like you (even if she has a boyfriend) or to think you’re really weird and creepy.

If you can’t dilate your pupils at your command, you can tell your brain to do it by simply looking at something attractive… and thinking of doing something even more attractive. The longer gaze might seem awkward, but studies show eye contact over 7 seconds long screams vulnerability which of course commands attractiveness.

Along with that, when we look at someone’s dilated pupils, we like them more. There are studies to back this one up too. So practice in a mirror and look like Chloe! I wish you luck in your pursuit of getting the girl you like and if you found these simple psychology tricks helpful, make sure to leave a comment below!

15) Use the HOTAPE Framework

The HOTAPE Framework is a style of flirting that can give guys a simple acronym to remember when they get nervous talking to a girl. I have an entire article on the HOTAPE Method, so check it out if you want to learn more.

Humor: Girls like guys who are funny.

Openness: Open body language is attractive.

Touch: Touching a girl in a nonintimate way can increase attraction.

Attention: How much attention are you giving the girl, and how much is she giving you?

Proximity: The closer a girl is to you, the higher the probability she likes you.

Eye Contact: Eye contact differentiates friendly from flirty.

This flirting framework works great because if you “fail”, you can blame it on your inability to follow the acronym, instead of just you. “Dang, I didn’t show enough eye contact” instead of “I’m such a loser and she didn’t like me”.

16) Use the PushPull Technique

Ahh, the infamous pushpull technique of flirting. What is it you ask? Well, pushing a girl is showing her that you may not be interested. Pulling a girl, is metaphorically showing her you like being in her presence. Do both of them right after each other, and for some reason… you can get make certain girls fall in love with you.

An example of a push pull situation: You say to a girl “Hey, come here”. Literally pulling her towards you. Then after she approaches, say “I thought you were really beautiful over there, but as you got closer, I realized you had a tattoo…”. Smile when you say this! This can open up the conversation to a flirty tone about how you thought she was a gorgeous, nice girl at first, but now you think she might be “bad”.

It should be noted that the type of girls that respond well to this method are also usually girls you do not want to date long-term. I suppose that this is because of certain developmental psychological issues that cause attachment issues also make these girls attracted to the push pull method. The HOTAPE Method is much more reliable.

17) Tease Her

Imagine if you came up to a girl and you were super direct: “Hey, I find you physically attractive and I’d like to get to know your personality to see if we could be long-term partners, potentially for life. Would you like to go on an initial date to see if we enjoy spending time with each other?” That sounds a bit robotic, but at least it’s genuine.

The best way to get the same point across is to tease her a little. “I really like you, but I don’t really know that much about you… I mean, you’re simply gorgeous, but you could have horrible taste in movies and that’s just a big turnoff. How about you pick a movie to watch for Saturday night, I’ll buy it and some popcorn, and we can call it a date?”.

Wondering how to tease a girl can be difficult, especially for many inexperienced guys who don’t understand boundaries. If you have any advice on how to tease a woman, please leave a comment below.

18) Cook Her Dinner

If you’re ready to ask a girl out on a date, one of the best first dates to go on is to cook her dinner. This will show her you know how to take care of her, but also gives you a chance to show off your mad cooking skills.

Doing simple stuff like this is the very foundation of attraction.

19) Ask Her How She Feels

One of the most important things, when it comes to women, is how they feel. You can guess all you want, but you won’t really know her feelings until you ask her. Most girls are completely honest if you ask them, and what you’ll find is that they aren’t completely sure how they feel.

Sometimes asking a girl is enough to get her to think about how serious she wants to be with you.

20) Show, don’t tell

One of the largest problems I see that guys make, is they are all bark and no bite. What do I mean by this? They tell a girl they love them, and can say all the right words to make a girl fall for them, but after “the deal is sealed”, they just stop. They don’t put forth any more effort. Instead, continue showing your girlfriend how much she means to you.

If you really want to get a girl to like you, you need to invest in her.

This means with your time, your money, and your emotions.

Cut time out of your day specifically for her and listen to her using the 5th level of listening (empathetic listening). Invest in her with your money. Buy her things that you know will make her smile, and spend money on experiences you both can enjoy. Lastly, you must be willing to invest in her emotionally… this means you must be vulnerable and be okay with sharing your emotions and feelings.

21) Stand Out From The Crowd

Which tomato stands out? It’s the one that’s a different color, right? This is called the Von Restorff Effect (The isolation effect), and it shows that we like to pay more attention to things that stand out from the crowd. So use this psychological effect to your benefit and be a guy who’s unique.

22) Display Confident Body Language

I have a whole article on the psychology of dominant body language, but here’s a quick recap:

Point your feet towards her: This shows her that you’re interested, without even saying a word

Point your shoulders towards her: This increases the indication that you’re interested in her. By keeping both your feet and shoulders towards her, she knows for sure that you’re into her.

Keep your chin up: This is a confidence trick. By keeping your chin up, you are forced to feel more positive and energetic.

Keep your shoulders back: This is a basic body language tip that helps show you’re not nervous. If you were nervous, it means you could be a “beta male” or even make the girl you’re talking to nervous/anxious.

Keep your palms open: This supports the last tip and helps make the woman you’re talking to feel calm and safe.

If 20 tips isn’t enough for you to get a girl to like you, here’s a video from FarFromAverage with a few more secrets:

If you’re really ready to up your game in the dating realm, I actually created a full online video course that makes this article of tips and tricks look small.

If you’re interested in how to get more girls to like you, how to read her body language during the date, or just general attraction skills, I’ve created an entire video course called Psychology of Attraction for someone exactly like you.

Before I created it, I read a bunch of books on dating tips, plus 8 psychology textbooks and then put everything that works to get, find, and keep your dream lady into a course with animated videos just like this one.

What’s in the Psychology of Attraction?

● A quick and easy way to destroy any approach anxiety

● The framework on where to actually find girls that are exactly your type and how to get their attention in such a compelling way that they won’t have any other chance than to be magnetized by your strong presence.

● Bullet-proof tips and cheat-sheets on exactly what to text her so that she’ll be counting down the hours until your date… and when you do meet her, you’ll be able to decipher her body language at any point in the date, so you know what she’s thinking for real, regardless of what she’s saying

● My proven system that took years to develop and that empowers you to instantly build trust with anyone, create a first-date experience that she will never forget and that she’ll be raving about to all of her friends. Learning how to get girls is super simple when you’re equipped with the right knowledge and train your skills.

● An extremely powerful technique to immediately appear 10 times more confident and spike up your attractiveness levels so that every other girl will be checking you out and which will make your date want you even more. Confidence is super important when getting girls to like you – they can literally smell it (through pheromones)! Improving your confidence is the best way to get a girl easy.

● The exact method that psychologists and therapist from all around the world use to ensure that the two people in a relationship can live together harmoniously, and that sets the stage for a fruitful and loving long-term relationship. I’m not only going to teach out how to get your first date, make her attracted to you, and possibly head to the bedroom… but I’m going to teach you how to actually keep her through the science of psychology.

The Psychology of Attraction

A Guy’s Guide to how she thinks, what she finds irresistibly attractive, and how to use psychology to make her want you

Common Questions about Attraction:

How to get a hot girl to like you? The answer to this question is pretty simple. There’s not much of a difference between a “hot” girl to like you and an “unattractive” girl to like you. Use the tactics on this page… and in the Psychology of Attraction to get ANY girl attracted to you. In fact, most of the tips on this page work with anyone, including other guys.

How to get a girl to not like you? This one’s easy. Just basically do all the things that are opposite to this list. Don’t have your own life. Never let her see you. Smell horrible. In fact, making a girl not attracted to you is way easier.

How to come on to a girl? I get a lot of questions with this as the title. What this means is “how can I flirt with a girl?” and honestly it’s really easy. Most women can tell when you’re flirting with them… so it should be fun. If it’s not fun – maybe she’s not your girl.

How to get a girl to have feelings for you? Again, use all of the tips on this page. If you want a more in-depth tutorial of attraction, check out the course I mention above. Once enrolled, you will have my personal email and can give me a more detailed evaluation of your situation and I’ll give you custom advice – which is the most valuable.

What are some things to say to a get a girl to like you? In reality, there’s really not many things you can say that will instantly turn on a girl. However, I have a whole article about flirty questions to ask a girl, if that helps.

How to get a girl to like you at school? Also, use everything on this page. There’s a lot of differences between how you treat a middle-schooler “chick” and a “woman”, so if you need more guidance, check out the full course.

How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually!

What if you knew exactly what women wanted? How to make them desire you intimately and how to make a woman want you sexually? For the most part, men may think that they need to be the hottest guy, have tons of money, or treat them like shit. But let me tell you right now, that’s not the truth!

I am here to shed some light on exactly what women want as I am a woman myself and I have worked with hundreds of women in terms of what they desire in men! In this blog, my goal is to give you the key principles that you can start to incorporate in your life and create more attraction in an existing relationship, or with the woman you’ve started dating. The key here is to understand the difference between how a woman is turned on by a man’s presence vs how a man is turned on by a woman’s presence. Women are completely different when it comes to sparking their sexual desire. We women thrive off of emotion and how you make us feel. The emotional connection is intricately linked to attraction, and don’t underestimate the importance of how you carry yourself!

If you want to really understand how to master the bedroom, get some advice straight from a woman’s mouth here

How to make a girl want you: The most important thing!

You can show women respect by understanding her values and asking the profound questions that help you get to know her. Foster intimate connections through your conversations with her to really get to know her.

The way you form an emotional connection is simply by showing up with a confident and determined state of mind. You want to get to know her!

That’s why I created this 2 question manual to get to know a woman’s true self. You can use these questions when you get to know her. The best thing to do is to pay attention and always remember what a woman tells you. This way, you can mention things that she suggested and she will see what type of man you are and that you remember details about her. This is important, especially in the courting stage.

In my experience as a coach, I’ve noticed that many men get confused and think that they have to be all about the woman when they are interested, but as a woman, I am telling you this is completely false! Why? It’s a part of the natural attraction process in the beginning, so not only do you want to make her desire you but you also want to make sure you are staying true to yourself and are not giving all of yourself just to convince her you are worth it.

You have to know you are worth it, and this is exactly what I mean when it comes to maintaining a sense of confidence.

You cannot make a woman be attracted to you if she just does not see you in that way. So, first things first, let’s take a look at the signs a woman is attracted to you, and then let’s talk about how to get her attracted to you.

If these techniques do not work, then it’s time to consider the fact that this might not be the woman for you. You can always use this as a lesson to help you understand what you could do differently next time. Perhaps you’re reading this blog now and you end up thinking, “I see what I did wrong in the beginning.” Well, the next step would try to fix things using the suggestions I give you here and if things still don’t change, then it’s time to put your focus on yourself and eventually someone else.

I say this because I see so many men and women every day chasing someone they desire when the other does not desire them. I believe that you need to work towards something that can progress naturally, so how do you do that?

Through observation, awareness, and communication. For the most part, a woman is going to tell you how she feels and it might not be as direct and upfront as you want, but it will be obvious enough to make you aware and integrate it into your plan of action.

2 Tips: How to make a girl want you back when she’s lost interest!

When you’re building trust and an emotional connection with a woman it’s important that you do not lose yourself in the process…

Tip #1: Don’t lose yourself!

You have to make sure you see yourself as a desirable man and put yourself on a pedestal instead of her. In my years of practice, I’ve often seen people fixating on the outcome of something that is a fantasy and they live in a made up reality. It’s called Idealization. If you have a tendency to do this, one of the best things that you can do when you desire a woman is to make sure you do not go above and beyond and lose yourself in the process. This means you’ve got to make sure you’re sticking to your day to day activities and making sure that you are still focused on who you are and what you do.

If this is challenging for you, I really encourage you to download my Master Your Confidence Audio Seminar, which you can use during this process to make sure you stay on track and get this woman to sexually desire you!

#2: The woman must reciprocate!

Another issue that I often see is when men continue to make attempts and initiate when the woman is not reciprocating at all, and if she is, she is doing the bare minimum and it’s making you question her intentions.

I want to be very clear about something. When you are trying to attract women, you have to understand that you are trying to get to know her and instead of giving her everything, you have to see if she is willing to receive you and make some kind of effort as well. So, she needs to show up at least 20-30%, especially in the courting period. She should be asking questions about you, texting or calling you, making time for you, and really just getting to know you as well. If this woman is not reciprocating at all and popping in and out from time to time, then she might be using you for attention or is unsure about you. So, this is when you back away.

Don’t be dependent on her!

Signs a woman is sexually attracted to you and how to make her want you even more!

Now, that we got the red flags out of the way let me give you signs on how to make a woman want you sexually when she starts to show interest.

She recognizes that you value yourself

You have a purpose and you are not afraid to take the lead and go after the things that you want in your life. You are opinionated, yet respectful. It shows a sense of strength and is perceived as dominant energy, which by the way is something that we women find to be very attractive! When a woman sees success, happiness, stability, strength, the life that you are building for yourself, and the fact that you are not afraid to say, “Yes” or “No” to her, she is going to continue to want to be part of your life.

Make her feel sexually attracted to you by the way you interact with her

You can have witty banter with her and tease her here and there, but always a respectful manner of course. This builds sexual tension, shows her that you are not scared to be opinionated and it presents an exciting, natural challenge to a woman.
Two examples of this:
Bring masculine energy: make up a nickname for her, lightly tease her and joke with her here and there. Pick up on what she is giving you.
Flirt with her: make it clear that you see her as someone you want to take it to the next level with. You don’t do this by telling her that you want to **&% her! You communicate this to her by simply showing confidence and flirting with her. Here are some examples;
“Careful with those eyes. I see you checking me out!” Or when she says something that can come off as flirting with you, call her out. “Are you flirting with me?” Then just wink and move on to the next subject. OWN IT!

Building an emotional connection when you want to make her desire you

Women act off of how you make them feel. I talk about this so much in my YouTube videos as this is what gets you sustainable results. I am going to break down what can intensify an emotional connection here.
Paying attention to what she tells you and bringing it up later. Things she likes and things that she has discussed with you. Do things that show her that you are listening to her and are paying attention to the things that she is saying. This is a way you stand out from the crowd.
Flirting with her and asking her deeper questions. Not just about her past, beliefs etc. You don’t always want it to be too serious. Focus building attraction with her so she will begin to desire you sexually. So I’m talking about asking her questions that build a little bit of sexual tension. “Where is your weak spot?” “What do you think about public displays of affection?” This gets her to start thinking about you in a more sexually charged situation, and this can easily spark a sexual desire for you. Asking these types of questions gets her to think of you in a different way.

Simply put, challenge her!

You are probably thinking, ”What in the heck does this mean?”

Well, it means that if you want to make your potential girlfriend want you sexually and emotionally, not only should you state your opinion from time to time, but you should dare her to do things. Make things playful and fun. Dare her and share some competitions together. If she is interested in seeing you again and you’ve already taken her out on a couple of dates, then challenge her by saying something like this, “Now it’s your turn to wine and dine me. I want to see what you come up with for our next date! I would like to get a dose of your world.”

Maybe she wants to take you hiking, but let her plan it. That way, you start to challenge her but you also get her thinking that she has to make an effort for you now. This is great when it comes to building attraction and this is something that can work in your favor!

You’ve just got to understand that you can take the lead, especially because women want men to do this. When you have the right mindset for attracting women then you will be great at attracting women. To deepen your knowledge on the subject, I also encourage you to read the blog I wrote about the mindset that attracts women!

As always I love hearing from you. Please feel free to comment if you need more understanding on how to make a woman want you more sexually.

If you want to really understand how to Master The Bedroom get our product here straight from a woman’s mouth!

Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of apolloniaponti.com . She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.

To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here .

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70 Comments

Hello Gennaro,
Here is the thing. Your reactions caught her off guard and did scare her a bit. You lost your composure and long term that can make a woman think that this isn’t the one and could raise some red flag. I think the time is what will get you to regain her trust. Also, understand why you lost a little control with yourself in this relationship. Give this time and do not try to make any moves on her now. You have to show her that you will not do the things that she knows you will do. Meaning try to contact her again. After a couple months go on then you can try to just start by a simple “hello”. This will take time. Good luck and I am here if you need any further support.
-Apollonia

Firstly hi I am a woman so I know what we women expect from men like you. Actually my advice to you is act casually and careless, flirt with other females around her shortly make her jealous. She will return back to you 100%

It also goes to show that you can do all of this. Build the connection flirt be a man and move into the next faze of the relationship. You have done everything right and then she backs off. Wants you in her life but doesn’t know how or when to fit you in. So she asked for time you give to her cause you really care about this lady and you weren’t just there for a hookup. Then 3 months after you give her the time she asked. Keep in mind you are communicating like you’re in this relationship daily. You tell her we should break up because it would be alot easier to be friend’s now instead of a couple more months down the road. She doesn’t want that. She says just a little more time it will all work out. So you give her this. Another 3 or so months goes by. Now she leaves you just before the holidays and just wants to be friends. So you you no closer you did everything right and now you have friend that has totally moved on but is single. Now I have a friend that I’m in love with and have to figure out how just to love the woman she is. Just needed to vent.

It’s real easy to be alienated from the so-called “fair sex” when most women think guys aren’t worth a damn.

I know a lot of women that love men. 🙂

Hi Apollonia – Yes, I know a lot of women who love men too. But as a guy, I can tell you that the “women that love men” only want to be approached by men *they* find attractive. For the rest of us, the clear message from society is stay quiet, never approach and leave all women alone. This is not a mindset thing. For years I observed body language, etc., and tried approaching women in all sorts of places. About half the time, the woman completely ignored me; the other half of the time I was rudely dismissed. Every time, I laughed it off and said have a great day, or words to that effect. It’s easy to tell guys like me to be confident, but the fact is, I am very confident. I know that I am far from perfect of course, but I do love myself and enjoy myself every day. I have many friends (male and female) and many great hobbies. I’m well educated, well travelled and have a lot of interests as well as some things I’m very passionate about. Where approaching women is concerned though, I’ve learned my lesson – it will not work for me because I am clearly unattractive to women.

Dear Andrew a lot of guys think that they are not attractive BCS of their out view but there’s some girls like me who don’t care about your out view we care about your inside. Write back ASAP

This is true, Mell – as I said, I have many women friends, who love socializing with me. But nothing sexual ever happens because – from a sexual perspective – I am clearly unattractive. When I find a woman attractive, I make sure never to express or show it in any way – because my interest will never be reciprocated.

Well I must be a desperate 24 year old that no girls even find me attractive or it’s our I’m just a failure and will never find love again after being cheated on 5 years ago I haven’t hooked up with or even kissed another girl… no one seems to want me. It’s not like I dont like myself. I’m a decently successful musician/ singer and toured the world with my many big name artists. So the whole “woman love musicians” thing isn’t true at all. Not even the musician type girls themselves want to date me. I give up. Maybe I am just unattractive looser and will never find love again.

me tooooooo. i am put in a position where i know that someone likes me but she say shut up when i say that, we were talking on the bus and i had a vision of us in the bed.

This is just what I need, THANK YOU! I was doing it ‘right’ 30 years ago, without realisiing it, when I landed a girl way above my league, got married, had kids and now we’re separated. But now I know how it all works and will be back on the horse with ‘conscious competemce’.
You are providing an invaluable service here, AP, and I will be back for a coaching session at some point

Hi Peter,
Thank you for reading my article about how to make a woman want you sexually. So happy you’ve enjoyed my content and thank you for the beautiful message.
Best,
Apollonia

“I know a lot of women that love men.” Yeah, that’s what they all say. Sadly, my life experience has shown me the exact opposite. Unfortunately, a romantic relationship is just the bridge too far.

Hi Mickey,
I would suggest for you to read this. Please let me know what you think. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/why-is-it-so-hard-to-find-a-good-woman/
Best,
Apollonia

And there are a lot of women who think all men are awful or worse. Since there is no way to tell the difference, and since I won’t put myself in a situation where I could be accused of a crime, I’m not about to approach any woman no matter how attractive I find her.

Apollonia: I read that article before. I’m just not convinced, and I never will be. Why? As one of the posters commented (and I completely agree), far too many women go out of their way to be unfriendly, stuck-up and unapproachable. Secondly, when a marriage ends, the now misandric courts will make sure that the husband gets financially shredded and kept away from his own kids. Between that, the #metoo presumption of guilt without any hope of due process, and most women firmly convinced that most men are trash, it’s kind of hopeless out there now. And this just didn’t happen overnight, mind you; gender relations have gotten progressively worse over the last two decades. Thus, I repeat, dating today for most guys is 100 percent risk and zero percent reward.

I got together for dinner with a group of former co-workers last week! As, we were talking about our job, a former female co-worker, who I had been very close friends with, mentioned that she and her new female supervisor had a closer working relationship than she had with me.

This statement caught me off – guard and was wondering why she would say that?

When she arrived for dinner, she gave a male coworker a big hug first and then hugged another female co-worker, also with a large hug in the lobby. Then, when it came to me, she gave me a side hug and said hi. As the night went on, she became more friendly, like she use to be with me before.

When leaving the location, I walked out with her as well as the other male co-worker she hugged earlier. All three of us were talking in the parking lot. After, about 10 mins. he decided to leave. She then gave him a big hug. I also said, I was leaving too, she then gave me a big hug. But then she decided to stick around to speak me for about another 30 minutes, after he had left. We both decided to leave and she said we would keep in touch! and we would still continue to see each other around.

Can you explain what might she had been thinking in sticking around to talk to me afterword? and then also making the comment that she become more closer to the female employee then me?

I don’t understand?

Do you think she showed interest me and or improving our friendship again?

Hi Rich,
Thanks for taking the time to read this blog about how to make a woman want you sexually. I do think that I would need more information. It depends on how she interacts with you and what your conversations are about. I am not 100% what this means as all these things are very broad and it could mean anything. I do think that you need to spend more time with her to get the answers to your questions and she said she will reach out so just be patient with the process. 🙂
Best,
Apollonia

You are the best!

I wrote a similar question on one of your videos but thought I’d try it here too. Big fan- amazing videos. I’m speading the word about you to all my friends.

As a backstory, I was getting to know a woman for several months- very ambiguous (I know realize this was a mistake- make intentions clear). We get together, go on dates, get intimate, etc. She once said were almost together- whatever that means. I had to travel for work for 3 months at the end of last year- we grew apart. The feelings (at least on my end are still there)- just didn’t manifest themselves. She interpreted that as a lack of interest and started dating another guy but kept this secret from me (I knew something was up). However, she only told me 3 days ago (she has been with this guy for 2 months I’d guess). In that conversation when she told me that she was moving to a different state to be with this guy, I responded like I wasn’t surprised (a mistake I think). She also said I gave off a friend vibe. Yet, for the next days, she texted me constantly, inviting me to do things, etc..

After losing a lot of sleep over the next days, I stopped by her place and told her that I can’t be just friends and broke all contact off. Its been a horrible last few days but so far, no contact.

I’m curious if you have any advice on how to proceed. Honestly, I love this woman & would welcome another chance as a relationship down the road (obviously not any time soon). In retrospect, I wasn’t clear on what I wanted. However, the real question doing forward is what to do now.

I will say, I’m working on myself- new wardrobe, attitude, etc.

Hello Adam,
Thanks for your comment on my blog how to make a woman want you sexually. It seems that you did not escalate when you were seeing her so she thought you were a friend. The problem here is she is choosing to be with another guy and this is what will not let the relationship happen. What I would suggest is to be focused on you as she knows how you feel about her. She is going to have to get over this guy until she progresses anything with you. So the worse thing to do is wait around. Take this as a lesson and if she comes back then change your approach around her and build attraction. Hope this helps.
Best,
Apollonia

Just want to say what you are doing is great and you are truly helping a lot of guys become better and also guiding them on how to treat women the way they want and need to be treated just makes the balance in life stable. Which in return creates a loving atmosphere for all. My situation is I’m currently courting / dating a girl not officially, and things are going really well, but I am really struggling to read when is ok to go in for the kiss. Also we have already kissed once after our 4th date. The last time we hung out at the end, I took her home and we just hugged and said goodbye I didn’t kiss her after. I couldn’t tell if she wanted to, I would have been okay with kissing her but not kissing her was okay too for me. I also wasn’t seeing the usual signs to go in for the kiss. Is it bad that there wasnt a kiss after this time? I know how some girls get caught up in the kiss so I don’t want to lose the affection that we have going on. A little back story, she is close friends with my sister, so we have been doing things slow, but I do want to establish a little more of physical connection, without doing too much. Things feel at a good pace, but I would like to see her be more into it physically (not too sexual, I do want to respect her morals, she isn’t super religious she just wants it to be right), but just more expressive in a way about her feelings. I know this will probably get better if I just give it time but I was just really wondering if me not kissing her after the last time we hung out was bad and if I go in for the kiss next time without seeing the signs would that be bad? And how could I make her feel more comfortable about it physically? Its been a month and some weeks since the “Talking”/Dating unofficially, started.

I know it’s a lot, Thanks.
Respectfully Alex

Hi Alex,
Thanks so much for your support! The thing about kissing is there is no perfect time for a kiss. You create that. You want to make sure you enhance and go after what you want by slowly holding her hand and escalating one at a time to see how she responds and if she reciprocates then that opens the door for her to kiss you. Do not let too much time go on for you not to kiss her again cause this will give you a possible chance to fall into the friend zone. The sign you need to follow is she already kissed you. So, don’t be fearful. 🙂 Good Luck!
Best,
Apollonia

Hi Apollonia – this makes perfect sense except for one thing – I have no idea where to start because I never get to take a woman’s hand. You say that a guy has to “create” the moment to kiss her – but doesn’t the woman need to have given a clear signal she’s at least open to that before a guy proceeds? I never get signals from women, so I have no idea how to escalate, in fact I have a strong impression that women don’t want me to do so.

Hi Paul, thank you for taking the time to read How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually. I think you might first need to start with working on your confidence and how you feel about yourself on the inside. I would really recommend looking in to the Master Your Confidence Seminar. People are attracted to energy. Have you ever naturally felt pulled towards someone and also experienced meeting someone and feeling like you want to walk away from them before you even got to know them? This is energy and how someone really feels about themselves and their intent. It works the same way in dating.
I think the seminar will help you tremendously! https://www.apolloniaponti.co/master-your-confidence-myc
Best,
Apollonia

This advice is great for guys who stand a chance of success with a woman. But the fact is, for some of us there is literally no point in approaching or showing sexual interest in any woman. No woman has ever paid the slightest attention to me – nobody has given me a sign or signal, in high school, college, graduate school, work, never a rumour that someone likes me – nothing. I’m always a friend and never of interest sexually. I’ve never done anything to show a woman I’m interested and have no intention of doing so because there is zero chance my interest could ever be reciprocated. This has nothing to do with how I perceive myself – this is decades of life experience talking.

Hi Paul. Thank you for taking the time to read how to make a woman want you sexually. You mentioned that you’ve never done anything to show a woman that you’re interested. You might be giving off the impression that you’re closed off and that you don’t want any attention. Women are energy sensitive. Maybe try approaching some women and just talking to them. I would also talk to your friends that are women and ask them to be your wing women. Go out, be more open (ask your friends how) and try. Make some mistakes. Ask them to point out when they think a woman is attracted to you. I bet you are surprised by what they say.
Thanks for stopping by.
Apollonia

Thanks for this Apollonia. My women friends already look for women that they think are interested in me. They also say I’m definitely not a ‘nice guy’ in the negative sense, and that I do everything right except that I never express my ‘sexual side’’. I’m not about to express sexual interest even in women I find very attractive (i.e., make some mistakes) because I’m not willing to make myself a target for a potential accusation.

Hi Apollonia – my dilemma is that I’ll never find a woman at all. The only way I would be able to experience intimacy would be to pay for it because no woman could be attracted to me. I’m not the sort of person who would pay for it and there would be no point in starting to approach women I’m attracted to because rejection (or worse) would be guaranteed every time. There are so many other guys out there – all of whom are more attractive than I can be – that women can choose from, so – is it worth even trying at all?

Hi Giulio, thank you for taking the time to read How to Make a Woman Want You Sexually. This is really about your mindset. People are attracted to or pushed away by what kind of energy you’re giving off. Women are intuitive and more emotional, so I really think focusing on how you feel about yourself and working on that. Because it absolutely is worth trying and you can change how you feel about yourself and start attracting people to you!
I would look at the products page and look at Overcoming Neediness https://www.apolloniaponti.co/neediness-seminar-nai and the Master your Confidence seminars. https://www.apolloniaponti.co/master-your-confidence-myc

You’ve got this!
Best,
Apollonia

The only thing I am 100% sure of when it comes to women is that none of them have any interest in me as more than a friend. My women friends have told me that women are interested, but I see no evidence of that and I’m not about to approach a woman without evidence she’s interested.

Hi Anton. Thank you for taking the time to read How to Make a Woman Want you Sexually! I would suggest asking your friends what the signs are and the body language of the women that they are saying are interested in you. This way you can start seeing maybe what you’re missing. Why do you not believe your friends? Especially if they’re female, they’re going to pick up on the cues. Trust them and see what happens! Your mindset is everything with this, how you feel about yourself attracts people to you.
I would suggest doing a private coaching session so I can coach you through this. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
But don’t be afraid to try and make some mistakes! Find out!
Best,
Apollonia

Hi Apollonia. I have asked my woman friends to show me what the signs are that women give me – but even though they’ve tried to point them out to me, I just can never be sure enough that a sign is in fact a sign. As a guy, I’m not about to act on what I think I may be seeing because I’m not about to line myself for a harassment accusation that could ruin my professional reputation. Trying is fine – making mistakes that could be costly to me is not. Is there an answer?

Yes. You’re going to have to try and trust your friends. Why would making a mistake with approaching a woman be so terrible? You’ll learn how to and you can have fun doing it. You don’t have to take yourself or flirting and dating so seriously. Just have fun and see.
Best,
Apollonia

Hi Apollonia, My women friends aren’t the ones who would be accused if I make a mistake. Making a mistake with approaching a woman (i.e., risking being accused) would be terrible, so how could I have fun doing it? From the perspective of someone who’s never approached a woman and never been approached by one either – and never been on a date – there is no other way to deal with flirting and dating than to take it very seriously for this reason. How can I have fun when every approach could lead to an accusation that could ruin me professionally?

“You cannot make a woman be attracted to you if she just does not see you in that way.” Exactly. No woman has ever seen me in *that* way – and experience has taught me that no woman ever will. I have stopped approaching women – even those I find very attractive. Why bother – I’ll just get insulted / humiliated / etc., again for being respectful and polite – and enough is enough.

Hi Piers, thank you for taking the time to read How to Make a Woman Want you Sexually. This sounds like you need to work on how you feel about yourself first. Falling in love with yourself and the confidence you have on the inside is what attracts people. I would really suggest looking in to the Master Your Confidence seminar https://www.apolloniaponti.co/master-your-confidence-myc
It’s not just about being respectful and polite. Sometimes you do have to stand up for yourself.
Best,
Apollonia

Hi Apollonia – thank you for this. Life has shown me that I am fundamentally unlovable, so falling in love with myself is not realistic. I am very confident professionally and stand up for myself all the time – I do very well professionally as a result. But these things are irrelevant when it comes to attracting women and as a result I’ve stopped approaching anyone. There is no point when my interest will never be reciprocated.

Hi Piers, thank you for taking the time to read How to Make a Woman Want You Sexually. It sounds like you have some negative self talk happening. You can absolutely change this. Challenge where these thoughts come from, who made you believe these things?! And you’re right, the thing that attracts women is how you feel about yourself. Start changing how you talk to yourself. Take the 3 biggest insecurities and turn them in to affirmations. If your head tells you “I’m not enough.” Then the affirmation is “I am enough” do this daily. It’s going to feel weird at first. No more doubting yourself or talking down to yourself. Start talking to yourself like you would someone you love and care about. Would you talk that way to a small child??
You can do this! If you need more help, I would suggest booking a private coaching session https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
Best,
Apollonia

Hi Apollonia – thank you for this, but on the basis of what evidence do I challenge my thoughts? My observed life experience has shown that I am not enough to be worthy of love. I cannot just start believing the opposite of this because I feel like it… I have been alone since I was very young and as a child was badly treated by adults and other children, so I can honestly say I have no idea what it feels like to be loved. I am very successful professionally because my profession is purely rational.

I am really in love.
I really love the girl and based on her attitudes and our conversations I know that she need me. but I am afraid to tell that I love her because I am afraid of loosing her. because she always use to say that she is not interested with boy friends. apart from that I know many guys that come to her but she always denied them. if we spend one or two days without seeing each other, if I ask her “did you miss me ” she always replied with joke “no at all” but really I need your help. should I tell her that I love her? or I should just maintain our friendship as sweet friends. because she use to call me “sweet friend” or “dear”. please I need your help.

Hi Dabo, I would need to know ore about your situation. I would really encourage you to look into the Friend Zone No More. I think that can help you a lot. https://www.apolloniaponti.co/friend-zone-no-more
Thank you for taking the time to read How to Make a Woman Want You Sexually.
Best,
Apollonia

Hi Apollonia – I have many women friends but have never had a sexual relationship because I am incapable of building sexual tension. As a result, no woman I find attractive ever feels the same way about me and I’m always just a good friend. Having lots of friends is great and I’m thankful for it. But I’m also very sad that I’m never the guy any woman wants sexually. I’ve tried to build sexual tension many times, and even had a couple of dating coaches. But nothing ever works.

I will never approach or express interest in any woman because the risks are simply too high and online dating is not for me because I don’t post photos myself anywhere. Do I stand a chance of ever dating?

I never approach women – even those I find incredibly attractive. Because of the bad behaviour of a lot of men towards women (molestation, harassment, etc.), many (most?) women now categorize all men as pigs and treat all men as such. Guys have to pursue (compete for) women and since I will never be successful against other guys, there is no point. They are / can be attractive; I am not and cannot be. Let the pigs fight it out amongst themselves – I am not a pig and will not have anything to do with their game. If a woman is attracted to me, let her approach me.

Hey George, thank you for stopping by and commenting on How to make a woman want you sexually. Great women who DON’T think that way are waiting for great guys like you to approach them and make them feel special! If you keep waiting for a woman to approach you, you might not get the type of woman that you want. Try hanging back and making eye contact and smiling at a woman and hold for 3 counts. If she smiles back and there’s an indication that she’s interested… you can either wait for her to approach you… or maybe walk past the fears and just say hi.
Don’t let fear stop you from finding loving and happiness.
Best
Apollonia

Hi Apollonia – How can a guy tell who these “great women” are? I am extremely doubtful that many woman – let alone a ‘great’ one, would even notice me at all. My women friends – who tell me I make them feel special – tell me I do get signals from women but to be honest, none of them (smiles, long looks, etc.) are clear enough to show me that a woman wants me to approach. If I approach, it’s guaranteed that the woman will label me a creep, and as such, I never approach any woman because the risk of being accused is too high. What to me are vague, ambiguous gestures, that *might* be ‘signs’ a woman wants me to approach her, aren’t enough. I’m not risk averse, but I’m not about to risk losing my career and things I have worked hard for when the chips are heavily stacked against me every time. Telling me not to let fear stop me from finding love and happiness is unhelpful because a mistake would be very costly.

Hi Appolonia, I don’t know how but I stumbled upon your site and blogs but they’re very entertaining. One advice I would want to give to all the guys here that can’t find girls is to develop your conversational skills and dry sense of humour. And just keep it on a ‘friend’ level. The girls then think: ‘Hey, this guy is funny, entertaining, well spoken and knowledgable. I’m having a good time with him here, how good is that.’ And before you know it they want to do more with you and are chasing you. I’m an ugly 60 year old and live all alone already for all my life. All the girls that wanted to get it on with me always got ‘no’ for an answer. I’m very independent and have never been interested in finding a partner. But it shows that the girls get all hot and bothered when you’re just having a great conversation and are not romantically interested…

That’s not my experience at all. I have great convos with my women friends, often one on one late into the night, but nothing ever happens – and it would be farcical to even dream of any woman chasing me.

I’ve got a girlfriend, I’m just interested in getting tips on how to get a little action on the side.

I’ve never approached a woman in my life, no matter how much I’m attracted to her because no woman could ever feel that way about me. That’s the way it is. I have lots of women friends, but never anything more because no woman ever sees me as a potential boyfriend. I’ve been told I have to express my feelings and act like a boyfriend but the fact is, I can’t do that. I’m doomed.

Hi Paul,
Don’t give up before you even start the battle.
I would highly suggest you take our Friend Zone no more course, https://www.apolloniaponti.com/products/. You’ll be able to find a lot of valuable and helpful tools there.
We also have a lot of valuable content on our youtube channel and podcast at no cost.
Wishing peace and love always
Best,

Hi Apollonia,
I’m in love with a woman, she is my first love. Her name (I change it, is Monique).
Now I’m 50 years old.
When I was 25 years old, I had approach her (Monique) and she responded in a manner to me – she accepted to date me. Initially I had admitted my love to her and she “corresponded”, by telling me that she is not feeling the same way, but we can hung up together, if I wanted that. For some months, we see each other almost daily. We went to movies, restaurants, just walking together etc. She also called me in her house, where I went many times* (* about 10 times). But because of inexperience that had back then, I didn’t dare to take the crucial step, to touch her or kiss her. Because of my inexperience and because I repeated that I love her, but she answered me again and again, that sees me as a friend. So by this situation and my inexperience I lost my courage, and one day I said to her that If I cannot be something more for her, I cannot follow, as I want more… and thus, we stopped dating and “separated”. I emphasize that we been seen almost daily, for about two months. She was smiling at me, she looked to enjoy being with me.
When we “separated”, I did (much later) other relationships, but I was always was and still am, in love with her. I’m thinking of her almost daily, all these years.
I got married another girl I met in the age of 40… years passed. Soon I was in an unhappy marriage and last year (2019) I divorced. The divorce ruined me emotionally, psychologically and financially.
Now, that I became again a free – but ruined man – I thought that an attempt to approach my first and truly love, Monique, worth… I found from google her address, and I wrote her a 3 page letter, hand-written. I wrote her, how I feel about her, how I see her in my dreams, I expressed my love feelings and I asked from her, to meet me, where we had met in the first place, 25 years ago. I also put in the letter my data (phone number, e-mail).
I know that Monique received my letter, because I sent a registered letter and if she wouldn’t have taken the letter, then, this would have return to me. But it didn’t return to me; she received it definitely.
Of course I thought that maybe she is married or in a relationship, but what I had to lost? As I wrote in the letter, we live only once, and is a pity to be apart from the one you truly love. The date I asked her, was in about 3 weeks later, in order Monique to have time to think about the whole situation.
I went to the date I had set, but she didn’t come. She didn’t correspond in any way (phone call, e-mail). So she ignored me. And now I’m devastated. I don’t have the courage to start over again. I feel like a dead man. My psychology bottomed.
Thanks for listening…
Any advice?

Haha it hurts doesn’t it. There are two things I am thinking when I read this, as a man. I have blown it too.

You acted according to the movies, or your fantasy maybe. You didn’t want to be beta so you acted all strong and dominant. I know women like a dominant man but not always in the way and manner you think. It’s hard. I haven’t figured it out yet. They want a dominant man but this is where the devil meets the details, so don’t tell yourself that’s what they want. Don’t feel that’s what they want. Feel that you need to be a certain way, without preconceptions, and figure out what that way is for that given women in that given moment.

Hey, to be honest, I loved the way you’ve shaped this post. It is not only written in simple language that can be understood by people who have not done their Masters in English Literature but also in a friendly style. I have always loved to read your blog posts and hence I keep coming back for more. Everytime I visit your website, I am always welcomed with a new interesting post. Thanks. Keep them coming!

I am of zero sexual interest to women. You say that “[y]ou cannot make a woman be attracted to you if she just does not see you in that way” – and for me, *no* woman *ever* sees me in that way, no matter what I do. I’ve read books, taken courses and even hired 2 dating coaches – and nothing. At 48, I have still never been on even one date and it’s becoming clear that I just don’t have whatever it is that makes a woman see a man in *that* way.

Hi. Am deeply in love with this girl, we talk always, she visits me and i visit her too, we have bin friends for 4yrs. We couldn’t date because of distance but now she is closed to me, she said she not ready for a relationship, av tired everything i could to make her mine but its not working. But she keeps saying that i should give her time and this tinww is taking longe. Tell me how to go about this am totally confused right now and i love her so much i wouldn’t want to loose her again.

Thanks for your question but I would need to know more about your situation so we don’t give you wrong advice. I would advise to book a coaching session with one of our coaches.

Most men have the potential to become a woman’s sexual partner. I’m 43 and I have never shown [sexual/romantic] interest in any woman. I observe other men and it’s clear I do not have what it takes to compete for women’s attention on those levels. Women enjoy receiving attention from attractive men and not from those, who – like me – are unattractive. As such, I have many women friends but have never expressed romantic/sexual interest in anyone – even though I have been / am very attracted to several women – because I’m certain doing so would be offensive.

Well I got this woman friend i met though a older women 70 am 58 years old the first time I saw her I was love struck with her she told me she was married 3 times and 61 years old I never forgot them words woman lie about there age then one day the woman then told me am 58 years old she must of had bad relationships and still talks too her ex husband’s well am trying too get a date with her and she even let me snap pics of her she works a full time job and a expensive car payment now she only comes around too borrow money for gas to work i feel she just uses me should I let her go she promises too pay me back maybe I should just move on hurts my feelings seeing a woman with such class can end a friendship I ask her too sleep with me and she denied me wasting my time with her

Hi Apollonia Ponti

I am very glad I got here and I am also excited you are connected to the readers of your blog. I have read couples of your blog posts and I have learnt a lot.

What brought me here actually? There is this girl I love so much, I made it clear to her and share my intentions with her within a week of talking with her. We chat on WhatsApp and we’ve never met when she told me she needed time and not ready for a relationship. We used to be classmates in school, but we never talked before.

From our conversation, I found out she is scared of breakups. I am not to give myself some hopes here, I have acted very coolly with her, sometimes, I would not call her and not text (I gave her a lot of free space and freedom), we talked and I made her smile and laugh sometimes. But, she hardly calls and texts first and most times never calls back at all. That is some kind of her normal behaviour as a lot of her friends had complained. I once queried her about it, she said she don’t like calling.

The thing is, just recently, we met and had a nice time together (she was very eager to meet me and was very happy when we met). From the eatery, we went home. I felt really great and kept my confidence all through. And a couple of our friends had complained she never visited them, that makes me feel I have a chance with her.

I wish I had read this post before meeting her, I would have built some sexual tension with her tho!

Now, there is a but! She said and had always been saying she’s not ready for relationships at all. I am not rushing her in anyways, but how will I go about it to get her in immediately?

Anytime I think about it, two things come to my head
1. My friends who were once in this shoe and they kept pressurizing the girl till she gives in

2. Give her time and either she stays or leaves. No loss

But, in between, I want her to be mine

I’m an extreme introvert and I have worked very hard to be able to interact easily with women. I’ve always been kind, respectful (not a pushover) and clear in what I want. My advances have been met with nastiness, disrespect and dishonesty by women who have instead chosen to date men who took them for granted, abused and then summarily dumped them. Some of these women – after they have been dropped by the idiots they chose over me – have been distraught that I won’t try again. Why would I do that? Who do these women think they are? They had their chance to date me but chose to say no. And as women constantly remind men, ‘no means no’. And now that they’re another guy’s castoff, I’m not interested. Some women will say it’s not their fault because they were caught up with peer pressure and the dictates of Cosmo – to which I say, “grow up”. You made a mistake which demonstrates that you are not good enough for me. I too have a choice – to share my life (which these women want into) or not. And my response is no – I will not play your stupid little game.

I understand your and others’ points on how to attract a woman sexually from an intellectual perspective but have no idea how to put them into practice. They just don’t work for me – they make sense theoretically but I cannot *do* them. People say I have to just accept that I will be excruciatingly uncomfortable for a time but that I’ll be successful if I keep practicing. But *what* do I practice. Nothing *ever* works, so clearly I’m not getting it. I’ve tried coaches, counsellors and women friends as wing women – nothing. And none of them have any idea why I am never successful at getting a woman interested other than platonically. They tell me I am sexually attractive and doing all the right things, but can never explain why that never translates into anything “more” than friendships with women. The fact is, I’ve never *attracted* even one woman on that level. At this point I honestly believe I am incapable of sexually attracting any woman and have stopped trying because I’m frankly don’t need any more friends. It hurts to have to admit that I’ll never get this, but that’s where I’m at.

I am a 42 year old man and I have never held hands with, or kissed a woman – and never been on even one date in my life. There has never been one shred of evidence that any woman has any interest in me at all. I never approach women – no matter how attracted I am to them – because no woman could possibly want me. I look at couples every day and although it pains me, I know that I am fundamentally unattractive and nothing can be done to remedy this. I have many women friends who tell me I’m a consummate gentleman, that I make them feel special and that there are many women who are interested in me. They say that all I need to get a date is to trust them when they say I am attractive and then put myself out there and ask women out. I thank them for trying to make me feel good, but tell them I never see any evidence that any woman actually sees me as sexually attractive. I’ve read that in many cases, women initiate connections by sending signals to men they find attractive and want to pursue them. I have never gotten a signal of any sort from any woman. As such, I do not express my interest in or approach any woman, and will not until I get a clear signal from her that she is interested in me. The total lack of interest from any woman over the decades has lead me to conclude that for me there is no point in trying.