How to not be ugly

How to not be ugly: 28 things you can do to not feel this way

This article is designed to be a practical guide that will help you to not be ugly. I’ll talk about 27 things you can do to feel and be attractive.

It’s also important to be confident in yourself. And, let’s be honest, it’s often difficult to have self-confidence in this world.

With that in mind, I’ll highlight some really great ways to build and show confidence.

I’ll also talk about the crucial role of a healthy self-image in overall well-being.

So, let’s get started.

28 things you can do to be attractive

1) Don’t be fake

One of the biggest things that makes people unattractive has nothing to do with their looks.

How can that be?

Well, it has to do with the way they behave, and whether or not they’re being honest about how they present themselves to the world.

In other words, if somebody is being fake and trying too hard to be something they’re not, it will come across as disingenuous, and unattractive.

So make sure to put yourself first. Stay true to who you are, and try not to come off as fake or like you’re trying too hard.

Of course this isn’t always easy to do…

When it comes to being true to yourself, however, there’s one very good place to start:

Start by recognizing the incredible power within you.

You see, all of us have the potential to live lives we love, but most of us don’t realize how easily we can achieve what we want.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s dedicated his life to helping people restore balance to their lives and live life with passion at the heart of everything they do.

But that’s not all…

Rudá isn’t just an average shaman. He uses an incredibly effective approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. He knows how to tap into his pool of potential and power, and now he wants to share these life-changing methods with you.

So if you’re ready to make that change today, to put self-doubt behind you and start living your best life, you need to check out his genuine advice.

2) Work your angles

Really photogenic people are, of course, naturally good-looking on the camera. However, they don’t always look like “supermodels”. Sometimes they look completely different off-camera.

What they are good at is knowing their angles.

When it comes to getting in front of the camera or taking a selfie, they almost instinctively know how to place their body and angle their head.

Experiment a little bit with your selfie camera, take some different angled shots. Which side flatters you the most?

What kind of poses suits your body type?

It’s not about comparing yourself to other people and saying “I’m just not pretty, I don’t know how not to be ugly.” It’s about working what you’ve got.

So don’t be afraid to experiment. Shots from slightly higher angles and at arm’s length will help slim and define your face.

Pay attention to lighting, too. Where the light comes from will set the shadows and highlights of your face, drastically changing the way it looks on camera.

And remember, you’re gorgeous.

3) Highlight your strengths

So much about being fashionable, chic, or stylish is really about knowing your body type.

What features of your body do you like the most, or think are the most attractive?

Further, what features are you the most self-conscious about, or think are the least attractive?

Try to make outfits that accentuate your strengths, and camouflage your weak points.

Know your body type and play into it. Rock what you’ve got.

When it comes to your face, hairstyle makes a big difference. Try to understand what hairstyle will suit your face best.

For the guys, neatly trim your beard, no matter the length. And, consider trimming it to stubble. Studies show that a lot of women like stubble the most.

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4) Speak to a real psychic about it

The signs above and below in this article will give you a good idea of how to be more attractive. How to embrace who you are and how to let your inner beauty shine through.

Even so, speaking to a real psychic will give you more clarity.

But how can you find a psychic you trust? In this day and age, it’s so important to stay away from fake ones.

I recently tried Psychic Source after going through a bad break up. They provided me with a unique insight into where my life was going, including who I was meant to be with.

I was actually blown away by how caring, compassionate and knowledgeable they were.

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Not only will a genuine psychic tell you which direction your life is going in, but they can also reveal all the positive experiences and opportunities coming your way.

They’ll give you another reason to feel hopeful, confident, and ultimately, attractive.

5) Check your wardrobe

Wardrobe really plays a big role in the way we present ourselves to the world.

It’s not just about being fashionable, trendy, or on fleek.

One of the biggest ways we communicate with the people around us is with clothing.

So what is your clothing telling people?

Is it drab, wrinkly, mismatched, or purely about comfort?

People are getting the message that you don’t put in enough effort.

On the other hand, if you pay attention to your clothes, it will show.

The point is that there’s no one particular style that is “right” or “wrong”. It’s all about finding clothes that you love to wear, look neat and put together, and also look good on you.

If your wardrobe game is strong, you’re already well on your way to being a powerhouse of attraction.

Pro-tip: don’t wear pajama pants in public.

6) Wear the right shoes

Shoes are the keystone to style, elegance, and setting an outfit off.

In other words, if you’ve got the right shoes, your whole outfit is going to benefit. Which means you’ll be even more attractive.

But they’re just shoes, you might be thinking.

The thing is, though, that shoes can really make or break an outfit. Start paying attention to people’s shoes more. You’ll begin to see that even the simplest of outfits can be given that extra je ne sais quoi with the right pair.

On the contrary, a well-put-together outfit on a person who clearly cares about their appearance can be ruined by an ugly, tacky, or dirty pair of shoes.

For me personally, my footwear is one of the most expressive parts of an outfit.

Because of that, my shoes always look well lived in, unique — almost an extension of myself. I’m not very nice to my shoes, either, which leads me to pick out shoes or boots that are rugged and break in well.

The point is this: your shoe choice does matter, so make sure to give it a little thought. People will notice, and they’ll find it attractive.

7) Have good hygiene

There’s nothing quite like the kind of unattractive that someone is when they haven’t taken good care of their hygiene.

It’s nothing personal, we’re all just naturally repelled by a bad body smell, bad breath, and so on.

However, it’s very important to have good hygiene, regardless of outside opinion. Good hygiene is good for you and will help you be your best, healthiest self.

Brush your teeth, keep your body clean, wash your clothes, brush and style your hair.

The fact that you care about your hygiene will be apparent to the people around you. Not only will they thank you for it, they might just find it attractive.

8) Take care of your health

More so than hygiene, it’s important to take care of your whole body.

Why? What does that have to do with being attractive?

Remember, it’s not just about being attractive, it’s about feeling attractive. I know for a fact when I haven’t been taking care of my health, I feel terrible.

I feel like the furthest thing from attractive.

Besides, when you get moderate exercise, participate in physical activities you enjoy, and eat well, it is kind of obvious to other people.

And you don’t have to be super into fitness, either, for people to notice.

When I see a person who takes care of their body, regardless of their outward appearance, I can tell. They seem glowing, confident, and, well, healthy.

That’s attractive to me.

And, again, it’s important to feel attractive. One of the greatest ways to do that is by eating healthy, staying active, and taking care of your health.

It’s important to take care of your mental health, too. Understanding our moods, the way our brain works, and what we need to stay mentally healthy is vital to our overall well-being.

In other words, treating your mental health the same as you would your physical health is so important.

Here’s a fascinating self-healing meditation that transforms the relationship you have with your body

9) Get good sleep

Ever heard of the term “beauty rest”?

Well, there’s a reason it’s called that.

The body performs all kinds of restorative functions while we sleep. Without enough sleep, it starts to show.

A study done by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine proves that losing sleep, even one night promotes biological aging.

The last thing any of us wants to promote is aging. Usually, the goal is to prevent it, right?

So make sure to get your beauty sleep.

The average adult needs between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night. I know I usually go for 9; I love sleeping.

When you get the sleep you need, your body can restore and heal from the day’s damaging effects.

10) Stay hydrated

Water is equivalent to life. Without it, nothing can live.

Water provides your body with everything it needs to hydrate, restore, cleanse, and heal.

Staying hydrated will help your skin look better, your eyes clearer, and will give you more energy. It helps your body flush toxins and impurities, which will naturally give you more glow.

Who doesn’t want those things?

On top of that, it makes you feel good, which in turn will help you to be and feel attractive.

11) Put in the work

Caring about your appearance and taking care of your body is an investment.

It takes time, it takes, effort, and it can take a little money.

Don’t be afraid to commit to it, though.

When you’re doing it for yourself, your health, and your well-being, it’s an investment well worth the effort.

You’ll feel better, look better, be healthier, and be more confident.

All of those things are highly attractive.

In other words, if you’re looking for a great way to not be ugly, proving that you care about yourself is the biggest way you can do it.

What comes next is this: people will start to notice. It’s easy to spot someone who has put in the work on their appearance. It shows, and it’s attractive.

Really, then, it’s not about who has the best looks or who is the prettiest, but rather about caring about yourself and exuding confidence.

I want to share something with you that changed my life.

Now you might be wondering, how can breathwork transform your life and help you learn how to be truly beautiful in a powerful way!

Well, through the breathwork sequences Rudá has created in this life-changing video, you’ll learn to empower your emotions instead of letting them rule you. You’ll be given the tools to dissolve stress and anxiety.

And most importantly, you’ll learn to reconnect with every fiber of your being.

And yes, it really is as simple as taking a breath.

So why am I so confident this will help you?

And if it could bring me out of the rut I was stuck in, I’m sure it could help you too.

So if you’re ready to take a step towards reconnecting with yourself and injecting a breath of fresh air into your life, check out Rudá’s excellent breathwork flow.

12) Rock those shades

Rockstars wear sunglasses for a reason.

It makes them look cool.

In other words, don’t be afraid to rock those shades. In the same way, a fantastic pair of shoes can make an outfit go from ordinary to exceptional, so will the perfect pair of sunglasses.

They add symmetry to the face, give you a certain amount of mystery, and are a great way to express yourself.

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I love wearing wild and crazy sunglasses. The crazier, weirder, and funkier they are, the better. I love wearing them because it gives me a sense of confidence I otherwise might not have.

So don’t be afraid to try on all kinds of sunglasses. They might not all look good, but you’ll find a pair that fits your style and you can feel confident wearing them.

13) Body language

Apart from clothing, the biggest way we communicate non-verbally with people around us is with our body language

The way we use our bodies to communicate can have a say in whether or not people find us attractive or not.

Being closed off, hunched over, nervous and fiddly, or anything similar will come off in the wrong way.

A great way to boost your attractiveness is to mimic their body language. It seems kind of strange, but studies show that subtle mimicry can indicate attraction.

Don’t go overboard, of course, but noting a few mannerisms and adopting a similar stance or movement will naturally make you more attractive to them.

Here’s a handful of other body language tricks that will pay off forever.

14) Don’t slouch

Along the same lines, slouching is a form of body language that most people don’t find attractive.

Furthermore, it’s not helping flatter your features.

Holding your shoulders wide and keeping your chin up will naturally flatter your–your jawline, neck, shoulders, and chest.

Obviously, it has to be natural; forcing a pose that isn’t comfortable or is just too rigid will also put people off.

This can also give your body confidence.

How so? While the science behind it is disputable, taking ‘power poses’ can alter your outlook, mood, and could gear your mind towards being confident, attractive, and bold.

15) Stand tall

Standing with proper posture is really good for your health.

It involves keeping your head high, shoulders comfortably wide directly above your hips, and keeping a natural arch in your lower back.

Standing like this will give people the impression that you have confidence, and beyond that it will flatter your best features.

In other words, allow your beautiful body to show itself off.

16) Relax and smile

For those of us who are nervous in public or in conversations with people, it can be really hard to relax.

When I’m in public, meeting new people, or striking up conversations, I find myself very nervous.

And when I’m nervous, it shows. I fiddle with things, can’t keep still, don’t make good eye-contact, and so on.

If you struggle with this, do your best to just relax. Take a few deep breaths, focus on centering yourself, and find your calm.

Once you’ve found your center, you’ll realize how easily people are attracted to you. They’ll be drawn to you and listen to what you have to say.

Don’t be afraid to smile, either. There’s no need to be shy or closeted off.

Of course, if smiling isn’t all that natural for you, don’t force it.

Really, then, a big key to being attractive is about relaxing and just being yourself.

17) Take care of your teeth

Society has a strange fascination with everything needing to be “perfect” to be beautiful.

However, that’s just unhealthy, and not entirely true. The best smiles are the ones that are well taken care of.

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Healthy gums, white teeth, and fresh breath are hugely important when learning how not to be ugly.

If you’ve got crooked teeth, or are self-conscious about how they’re not straight enough, don’t be.

As long as they’re well taken care of, healthy, and white, people will notice that first.

However, if your crooked teeth cause you pain, sores, or any other kinds of discomfort, it might be worth looking into getting braces or other corrective dental work.

18) Know your colors

A lot of people will tell you that wearing red will make you more attractive, that it’s some kind of “power color”.

While that probably works for a lot of people, personally red just doesn’t look good. It’s not flattering for me.

It took me a while to realize that, but when I did, it was a big relief.

There’s just something about wearing the wrong color that robs you of all confidence.

In other words, know your colors.

Try different colors on in different lights, and pay attention to how it makes your skin look, your eyes, complexion, and your hair color.

It might take some trial and error, but you’ll build a good color palette that will flatter your complexion, every time.

Remember, though, maybe it’s the color of the clothes, and not that you’re unattractive. Being attractive is about knowing yourself and giving yourself every positive advantage.

19) Use makeup to your advantage

Makeup isn’t the answer to everything.

Using it too heavily or trying to achieve unrealistic results will, naturally, end in disaster.

Makeup should be looked at like a tool to help you accentuate your natural features. To go too overboard is kind of like putting on clown makeup and hiding behind it.

There’s so much that can be done with just a little makeup applied in the right places.

If it makes you nervous or overwhelmed, feel free to watch as many videos online as you can.

And, of course, practice. Soon enough you’ll be learning and perfecting techniques that you didn’t even know of before, and you’ll be able to use makeup to your advantage.

The point is this: when you know how to use makeup effectively, it’s just one more tool to add to your arsenal of feeling attractive.

20) Get the right haircut

I touched on this a bit earlier, but it warrants its own point.

Why? Because it’s that important.

When you have the wrong haircut, it will tend to accentuate the wrong features, play into your weaknesses and not your strengths.

With the right haircut, however, you can feel confident, show off your best features, and rock a hairstyle that’s as eye-catching as you are.

If you’re overwhelmed by how to go about knowing what hairstyle suits you, do a little research on face shapes, hairstyles, and what might look good.

It might be worth considering saving up some money to go to a really good stylist. They’ll be able to know what will look best on you and give you good styling tips, good color, and so on.

21) Be curious

Curious people are attractive. Their heads are always up, they’re alert, bright-eyed, and interested in everything around them.

In other words, they’re engaging with the world around them, actively present in the moment, and always ready to learn new things.

For a lot of people, that’s a really desirable trait.

Besides, by being curious and learning new things, you’ll be able to naturally build your confidence.

We all know that confidence is the main way to being and feeling attractive.

22) Go with a group

The eye tends to average out the attractiveness of everyone in the group, so it could prove to be an advantage.

Besides, doing things in groups is more fun, allows you to relax and express your individuality, and opens you up to new and different experiences.

All around, then, it’s a good idea to go with a group.

23) Don’t gossip

When it comes to one of the surefire ways how to not be ugly, this is one of the biggest.

Well, no matter how “fun” or satisfying gossiping is, the fact of the matter is that it’s unkind, thoughtless, and callous.

And it makes you look really unattractive.

No one likes a gossiper, no matter what way you cut it.

If all your friends make a habit of it, try to consider that they might be talking about you, too, when you’re not around.

Gossip hurts everyone who takes part. However, if you avoid it, you’ll be all the more attractive for it.

24) Have a good sense of humor

Nobody enjoys spending time with someone who takes themselves too seriously.

In your journey to embracing your inner beauty, don’t forget to laugh and have a good time.

If you take yourself too seriously, it leaves little room for people to enjoy your company.

For example, you might come off as trying too hard, being fake, or overly preoccupied with making an impression.

So don’t be afraid to lighten up and enjoy things. Laugh at yourself, make a few jokes, and remember to have a healthy sense of humor.

25) Be self-aware

This goes hand in hand with the last point.

Make sure you have a realistic picture of yourself. There’s no point in getting too caught up in the image you’re projecting.

Further, there’s no point in focusing too much on exactly how other people “should” be perceiving you.

You will always be who you are, and awareness of this fact will keep you lighthearted, easy-going, and content with yourself.

When you’re content with yourself and aware of who you are, you become someone that a lot of people will find highly attractive.

With self-awareness comes satisfaction and confidence.

26) Be genuine

It’s easy to get preoccupied with the facade we present to the world.

However, being attractive is about more than just the outside appearance. In fact, knowing how to not be ugly involves going much deeper than the surface.

It’s about being real. It’s about being your genuine self. While who we are on the outside will always be different than our true inner self, it’s the relationship between the two that makes for a beautiful person.

To further the point, when you endeavor to express yourself genuinely in every aspect of your life, be it style, appearance, or behavior, you become a dynamic and real person.

And everyone around you is going to notice.

27) Know yourself

Finding your inner self is easier said than done.

With so much external influence — from social media, advertisements, celebrities, friends, parents, and so on — it can be hard figuring out exactly what it is that we want.

Spend some time with yourself really finding and honing in on your passions.

What makes you happy?

When you know yourself, you’ll be able to express yourself accordingly, and people will start to be drawn to you.

People who know exactly who they are are naturally attractive to others.

If you’re struggling with understanding your life path, who you are, or what you should do, this article will really help you find your life purpose.

28) Ooze confidence

Remember that the end goal of being attractive lies in being confident.

You’re building an arsenal of tools and techniques to help you embrace exactly who you are, and show that off to the world.

When you ooze confidence, it doesn’t matter if societal norms think that you’re “ugly” or “unattractive” because frankly, you’re not.

Let me reiterate that: Beauty has more to do with realizing your inner potential and being confident than it ever will about outward appearances.

How to build and show confidence

It’s easy to say that the answer is to be confident, but it’s a lot harder to actually find that confidence.

So what are some ways you can build your confidence?

Remember to always be kind to yourself and think positively about yourself. You really are your best friend, so endeavor to always think accordingly.

You can also endeavor to adjust your habits so you have more time to do things that you love. When you really start to build a groove around doing what makes you happy, you’ll naturally feel more confident.

You could also set a few challenges for yourself; when you reach them your confidence will soar.

If it makes you feel bad, avoid it. That could be bad habits, it could be procrastination, guilt, or someone or a group of people that gets your self-esteem down. Do what you can to avoid those negative things. You’ll find yourself happier, content, and with more energy to do what you love.

Here’s a vital key:

To look good to other people, you have to care about yourself. You can’t care about what other people think, it has to radiate outwards.

The importance of a healthy self-image

The pressures of society are far from the kind on our self-image.

Think about it: how many images of “ideal beauty” have you seen just today? These images come from everywhere: advertisements, influencers, celebrities, media, the list goes on.

The idea of beauty we as a society have — granted is changing — however, is an unhealthy standard. It can lead to all kinds of complexes and issues about self-esteem, self-image, and worth.

Remember that your worth has nothing to do with your beauty. They are separate things. Media at large doesn’t like to highlight that.

Body dysmorphic disorder is something that a lot of people struggle with, maybe even you.

It’s characterized by a fixation with either real or perceived flaws, and an inability to believe people who tell them they look great. It causes severe emotional distress to the point of interfering with daily functions.

The Anxiety & Depression Association of America explains that the causes

“are unclear, but certain biological and environmental factors may contribute to its development, including genetic predisposition, neurobiological factors such as malfunctioning of serotonin in the brain, personality traits, and life experiences (e.g. child maltreatment, sexual trauma, peer-abuse).”

No matter the reason, it can be a hard thing to live with. Professional help might prove to be very helpful for you if you struggle deeply with your self-image.

In conclusion

A lot goes into having a confident, outgoing personality, but it will bring you satisfaction knowing that you are a dynamic, genuine, and attractive person.

Just remember, your self-worth is far more important than your looks and in fact a separate thing.

Focus on embracing yourself, being genuine, and building confidence. Those are qualities that will assuredly make you both feel and be attractive.

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If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to someone with special intuition.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Psychic Source when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into what my future holds, and the confidence to make the right decisions when it comes to love.

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In just a few minutes you can connect with a highly intuitive psychic and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my psychic was.

15 brutally honest tips to cope with being ugly

Being told you’re ugly hurts. There’s nothing pleasant about it, and as much as you might brush it off, it still hurts your feelings.

If it was as easy as changing our appearances with the push of a button, I’m sure many of us would do it. But in reality, we have to learn to deal with certain parts of ourselves which we may not like.

A video about how to deal with being ugly, by Ideapod’s founder Justin Brown, raised a few interesting points on how we view beauty. You can watch the video below.

In the video, Justin mentions how we need to ‘reconfigure our relationship with beauty, and instead of focussing on just our outer beauty, we should accept that each one of us is simply different.

So it is possible to change your mindset, even if you can’t change your appearance? In this article, we’ll look into what it actually means to be ugly, as well as a useful exercise and some tips on coping with your appearance issues.

Table of Contents

What does it mean to be ugly?

Traditionally, beauty is defined by the shape, tone, and distance of features on our faces. A symmetrical face with clear skin, big eyes, and a straight nose is what we’re used to seeing on models.

The opposite of beautiful is ugly. This is defined as someone unattractive to others, whether it’s their face or body.

So what does it actually mean to be ugly? Is there a checklist? Maybe, but it’s a man-made checklist.

Beauty, in many ways, is objective. When many people classify something as beautiful, it becomes the norm.

But how do we really know what we think is beautiful, when society, the media, and celebrities are constantly pushing their ideas of beauty onto us?

Typically, what we grow up seeing every day in magazines, or on TV influences what we believe to be beautiful or ugly.

But this isn’t a universal decision. Someone who is considered ugly in a western country may be seen as beautiful elsewhere in the world.

And while we’re on that point, who said beauty has to be just about appearances? What about finding beauty in our personalities, our traits, and the way we make other people feel?

So much is focused on our physical appearance, but maybe this wouldn’t matter so much if we started to see the beauty that’s within us. We all have it, just in different shapes and forms.

Coping with being ugly: A strange but effective exercise

During his video, Justin mentions an exercise that can be used to help deal with being ugly. At first, it seems unusual, even a bit pointless. How can one exercise help how you feel about yourself?

But once you try it, you’ll start to understand the point he’s making. The exercise is simple, but it gets to the root of some of our feelings towards being ugly.

It transports you back to being a child when your life was filled with playing, imagining, and being yourself. Back to a time when you weren’t being defined by society’s perception of beauty.

Take all the negative thoughts that you have towards your appearance, and then imagine that yourself back when you were a child.

Imagine your younger self sitting in front of you, visualise it. Then, start saying all those negative opinions to that child sitting in front of you.

How does it make you feel?

For me, the exercise brought up a lot of emotions. I started to feel that the little girl in front of me didn’t deserve to hear those things; she’s a person who should grow up free and happy, regardless of her appearance.

It didn’t make sense to put her down and hurt her feelings. So why should it make sense to do it now, as an adult?

To find out more about the exercise and how you can use it to improve your relationship with your appearance, watch the video here.

15 things you need to know about being ugly

Dealing with being ugly isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be hard either. Many factors which can make you feel worse about yourself can actually be changed or removed, but it’s up to you to take those first steps.

Here are 14 small changes and tips which you can use:

1) What other people think of you is none of your business

I first heard this quote a few years ago, and it really struck a chord within me. When we listen and take on board every single opinion that people have of ourselves, we end up feeling miserable.

But, if you change the way you think, suddenly, what other people have to say about you is irrelevant. You are in control of your life, thoughts, and feelings.

What they have to say is their business, and it has nothing to do with you. If anything, their comments are a reflection of themselves. All they do is make themselves look bad.

Of course, putting this into practice is much easier said than done. If you take action and decide that every time you hear something negative being said about you that it’s none of your business, you’ll eventually learn to stop being hurt by mean comments.

People are going to judge you regardless, even beautiful people often face scrutiny.

You have an obligation to yourself. You can’t wait for people to start being nice to you to feel good about yourself. You are you, and you have to be the one to make yourself feel good again.

Ignoring what other people have to say is the first step in taking control over your life, regardless of your appearance.

2) Practice self-love

Being ugly presents you with an opportunity to do something that will benefit you for a lifetime — practicing self-love.

Unfortunately, self-love is difficult these days.

And the reason is simple:

Society conditions us to try and find ourselves in our relationships with others. We’re taught that the true path to happiness is through romantic love.

If you’re struggling to find self-love and accept your looks, have you considered getting to the root of the issue?

You see, most of our shortcomings in love stem from our own complicated inner relationship with ourselves – how can you fix the external without seeing to the internal first?

I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.

So, if you want to improve the way you feel about yourself, stop looking for external validation and start with yourself.

You’ll find practical solutions and much more in Rudá’s powerful video, solutions that’ll stay with you for life. These tips helped me overcome many of my insecurities and find self-love, so I hope they work for you too.

3) Find beauty within yourself

If you struggle to find parts of your appearance which you like, try focussing on other areas of your life.

Beauty can be found in the smallest of things, in the most unexpected places. And the great thing is, no one can really disagree with you, because like with art and music, beauty is subjective.

So, if you love singing, keep singing. If helping others is your passion, do it more. You can choose what you find beautiful about your personality or lifestyle, and build it up.

Doing activities that make you feel good can be a great reminder that there’s more to beauty than just looks.

Even if you think you’re ugly, people won’t be able to resist seeing the beauty in you if that’s all you project into the world.

Now, that’s not to say you need to be the next Mother Theresa to get over your appearance issues, but do you see anyone commenting on her looks?

Think of the great people in the world; you’ll find that their looks don’t affect how the world views them because they followed their passions and stayed true to themselves.

4) Learn to accept yourself

Acceptance of ourselves can be really difficult. We can learn to accept others, but when it comes to our own flaws, we’re often very critical of ourselves.

Justin Brown, the founder of Ideapod, talks about self-love and learning to embrace yourself as you are,

‘It’s important to regularly put in some time thinking through the things that you love about yourself so you can get into the habit of continually appreciating this about yourself.’

It can be easy to shy away from the things we don’t like about ourselves. When it comes to looks, maybe you avoid mirrors or having pictures taken.

But every time you repeat this habit, you’re reinforcing the idea that you don’t like yourself. Instead of becoming closer to accept who you are, you’re running from it.

Try facing these issues head-on. Self-love isn’t just about focussing on your positive qualities, it’s also about embracing your flaws and making them a part of who you are.

5) Keep those who love you for who you are close

There are so many factors that come into good friendships and relationships. Usually, it’s things like having a sense of humour, or being a good person which are the qualities we think about when making friends or looking for a romantic partner.

Have you ever heard a couple, married for many years, say that the reason they’re still together is his/her good looks?

Probably not, and the reason is that our looks only take us so far. After that, it really comes down to who we are as people.

In your life, surround yourself with the people who genuinely love you for who you are. The people who don’t care what you look like.

When someone genuinely loves you (as a friend, family member, or more), they don’t even notice half the things you dislike about yourself.

Take it from first-hand experience. I spent years obsessing over the gap in between my front teeth. When I finally got it closed at the dentist, I waited excitedly for everyone to notice and comment on how much better I looked.

To my complete disappointment, no one even noticed it. And when I brought it up, they were honestly surprised and hadn’t realized that I had changed anything.

I learned from this, that when you really care about someone, you don’t see physical aspects of their appearance as important. A lot of what we believe is wrong with us is actually in our heads.

6) Avoid jealousy

It’s so easy to compare yourself to others. We all do it without even realizing it.

But, jealousy does nothing but make you feel worse about yourself. Cheri Bermudez describes what jealousy can do in her article on Owlcation,

‘[The] effects of jealousy include a decrease in one’s perceived self-worth, emotional instability, feelings of bitterness, the breaking of relationships, prolonged depression and extreme anxiety.’

It’s a tough emotion to deal with, but if you truly want to feel better about yourself and your appearance, it’s definitely something to work on.

The truth is, there’s always going to be people who have it better than you. Better looks, more money, a dream lifestyle.

Keep in mind that there’s always going to be people who have less than you, too.

Whilst you’re busy comparing your life to someone you’re jealous of, someone else is doing the same with you and your life.

This is a negative cycle, which ultimately you can’t gain anything from. The sooner you quit comparing yourself to others and learn to accept who you are and the looks you’ve been given, the quicker you’ll come to peace with it.

7) Resilience will be your best friend

Look, there’s not much you can do to naturally change your looks, and why should you? You have incredible things to offer the world. But I understand – the way others treat you can be tough to deal with.

Without resilience, it’s extremely hard to overcome all this negativity.

I know this because until recently I had a tough time accepting the way I look. I constantly replayed all the bad things people had said about me over the years. Self-esteem was at an all-time low.

Through many years of experience, Jeanette has found a unique secret to building a resilient mindset, using a method so easy you’ll kick yourself for not trying it sooner.

And the best part?

Jeanette, unlike other coaches, focuses on putting you in control of your life. Living a life with passion and purpose is possible, but it can only be achieved with a certain drive and mindset.

You’ll need resiliency in every area of your life, not just with your looks, so I highly recommend watching this life-changing video.

8) Cultural differences are important

As mentioned earlier, the definition of beauty changes from country to country.

The western world tends to think that being skinny is attractive, but in some communities like in Mauritius, being curvy and full-bodied is seen as beautiful.

This shows us that beauty comes in all different forms. What one culture considers gorgeous can often be seen as weird or unusual in another culture.

Dr. Sunaina writes about how culture influences beauty around the world,

‘What is considered beautiful today, may be ridiculed tomorrow. When society changes, so does our perception of beauty. What will be the next definition of beauty a 100 or 1000 years from now?’

She mentions how the current fashion and styles of our generations play a big role in what we see as attractive. Since this is subject to change (constantly) how can we really define what is beautiful and what isn’t?

9) You are more than just your looks

Looks, whether they’re attractive or not, all fade eventually. Old age, wrinkles, and white hair are guaranteed to us all (unless you age less naturally using cosmetic surgery).

Think about all the qualities you love about yourself. Now think about your appearance. Does your appearance stop you from being all those wonderful things?

No. What stops you from embracing them is your mind. You are the only one who can allow yourself to focus on the positives instead of the negatives.

As Justin Brown describes in his video on ‘How to deal with being ugly’, one of the exercises involves imagining your 5 or 6 year old self, and telling them all the things that you hate about your appearance.

It’s a tough exercise which can be quite emotional, but it can really help you to realize that we are so much more than just our appearances.

The child you once were probably dreamt of having a cool job, great friends, or fun experiences. Go back to that person, who chased their dreams without letting their appearance stop them from being who they truly are.

10) Build your confidence

Confidence is an amazing quality to have. But it doesn’t always come naturally.

Luckily, there are ways to learn how to be confident. Once you have mastered it, you can use it to your full advantage.

You might not ever feel 100% confident in your appearance, but you can make sure that you’re confident in yourself as a person. And this confidence will make you more attractive than ever.

WeAreTheCity defines how confidence can make you more attractive, ‘When someone is confident within themselves, they transform the energy in the room. We are drawn to them; we want to be their friend, to talk to them; and to date them.’

So, you might not be able to change your appearance, but you can improve your confidence. This will take you much further than just having pretty features, as you’ll draw people into your personality and vibe.

11) Be you

Being yourself is an exercise. We can be influenced by the people around us, society, school, all sorts of things that can lead us away from who we really are.

But in your quest to find peace and acceptance within yourself about your appearance, you must be who you are. Or, who you want to be (as we’re constantly learning and evolving).

Your appearance is just one small part of you. Granted, it often feels like a huge part, and the fact that people can be judgemental doesn’t make it easier.

But if you break it down, at the core of each of us is our spirit, our personality, our thoughts, and feelings. We’re made up of so much more than just our physical appearances.

Be yourself, and you’ll attract people who are like you, and who will like you for you.

If you spend a lifetime faking it and trying to fit in where you’re not really comfortable, you’ll end up with friends who aren’t genuine and a lifestyle which isn’t really for you.

12) Consider change only if you really must

If your appearance really brings you pain and limits your quality of life, there are things you can do to improve it. This is your choice, and it isn’t something that should be judged by others.

But, whether you want to go for plastic surgery or non-surgical procedures, it’s important to know that self-love and confidence come from within.

Surgery can help improve your appearance, and in some cases, it can help with confidence and feeling socially accepted. What it won’t fix is your mindset and view of how you perceive yourself.

If surgery is too expensive, you might want to consider smaller changes that you can make. Here are some tips:

13) Maximise your best features

Maximizing your best features doesn’t have to be just physical, it can be your personality as well. But for arguments sake, we’ll focus just on how you can maximise your looks.

At some point in your life, you will have been told you have nice ___. It could be your teeth, eyes, smile, hair, smell. Whatever it is, work it.

If you have sparkling blue eyes, wear clothes that make them stand out. If you have a nice smile, smile until your heart’s content. Got a good head of hair? Learn how to style it so that it frames your face perfectly.

Don’t waste your time thinking about all the things you wish you could improve. Work on those small features which will stand out and make you feel good in the process.

Sometimes it’s not the overall appearance that attracts us to someone. It can sometimes be the small details, the way someone bites their lip when they’re nervous, or the way their eyes crease when they laugh.

14) Avoid spending too much time on social media

Social media is a huge factor in this generation’s issues with their appearance. As someone who has often struggled with my looks, I took a conscious decision to remove some of the pages I followed on Instagram.

These were beauty pages, filled with models, the latest fashion, and makeup. But I quickly realized that I was comparing myself to those models, and had started to form a really negative idea of how I looked.

I passed this advice onto friends who were also critical of their appearances, and by unfollowing these pages, they too began to feel better about themselves.

With that being said, technology and social media can be wonderful tools, but when it comes to ideas of beauty, what we often see is fake.

Filters, editing, airbrushing and touching up all goes into the pictures we see of perfect people living perfect lives. What we sometimes forget is that the camera only takes a snapshot of that person’s life.

Use social media to empower you. Follow accounts which make you feel good about yourself, instead of constant reminders of what you don’t have.

15) Stop putting yourself down

There are enough people in the world who’ll try and put you down, don’t be one of them. To combat outside negativity, many people believe in using affirmations to change the way they think.

Amy Harman, a marriage and family therapist, speaks about the importance of affirmations to remove negative thoughts,

‘A well-trained mind can overcome pain, fear, and self-doubt. A well-trained mind can also become negative and convince our bodies of physical sensations or conditions that aren’t actually present.’

Not only does Harman reference the fact that training your mind to think positive thoughts can be effective, she’s also making the point that continuously putting yourself down, or thinking negatively, can cause you to think and feel things which aren’t real.

If you constantly tell yourself you are ugly, you’ll feel ugly. If you change your mindset and focus on the positives, you’ll eventually learn to give less importance to your flaws and appearance issues.

Final thoughts

There’s no quick fix to change your mindset when it comes to feeling good about your appearance. But if you do one thing after reading this article, it’s to go a bit easier on yourself.

If you’ve been feeling down about your looks, try making small changes in your lifestyle and mindset which will serve as a reminder to you that appearance isn’t everything.

Ultimately, whatever the world’s definition of beautiful is, you have to learn to accept, embrace and love yourself for who you are.

Written by Kiran Athar

Kiran is a foodie, writer and traveler. She considers herself a citizen of the world, who gets her inspiration from the people she meets along her journeys. She’s currently living in Spain, where she spends her time writing, watching the shepherds and eating tapas in the mountains of Andalucía.

10 Brutally Honest Tips To Deal With Being Ugly

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Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist if your appearance is really getting you down. They’ll help to give your self-esteem a little boost. Simply click here to connect with one via BetterHelp.com.

You’ve been told as much by many people.

And when you look in the mirror, you can’t help but agree.

But if you really are that ugly, how can you deal with this reality?

How do you cope with being unattractive?

First things first…

1. In The Spirit Of Honesty

Let’s not be patronizing – whilst beauty is partly subjective, there is also something objective about it too.

Each of us has a certain look which may or may not be to everyone’s taste, but if you were to ask 100 people to rate the beauty of any individual out of 10, you’d likely see scores that cluster around certain points on the scale.

So one person may score anywhere between a 4 and a 7, but the majority of ratings would probably be a 5 or a 6.

Perhaps you score between 1 and 4 with the majority rating you as a 2 or a 3.

Let’s not beat around the bush. You are on the less attractive end of the scale.

And you probably hate it when people try to convince you otherwise.

They say things like, “You’re beautiful in your own way” or “You’re unique.“

All you hear in these clichés is insincerity disguised as politeness.

Forgive them, for they know not what they say. Let’s face it, telling someone that they are unattractive is not easy…

Unless you really know someone and how they might react, it’s natural to err on the side of caution.

But let’s take it at face value, if you’ll excuse the pun, and accept that you are, indeed, a relatively ugly person on the surface.

Your first question may be…

2. Why Am I So Ugly?

I hate to break it to you, but you’ve probably just had poor luck in the genetic stakes when it comes to your appearance.

How you look really does come down to who your parents are. Less attractive parents tend to have less attractive children.

Your jaw line, your nose, your eyes, even your weight is influenced by the genes that were passed down to you.

On the plus side, this takes a lot of responsibility off your shoulders. It’s not your fault that you look the way you look.

Of course, environmental factors such as your diet and lifestyle choices can play a role too, as can the events of your life so far.

But your underlying appearance is mostly down to your genes.

Which is why an integral part of dealing with your ugliness is to…

3. Accept That You Are Ugly

And that’s not just to say that you understand logically that you are unattractive.

Acceptance means to no longer have resentment or anger or insecurity over your looks.

It means to be at peace with the fact that you are objectively uglier than most.

It’s not easy, but it is possible.

As with all forms of acceptance, the key is to realize that you have little power over the situation as it is, aside from the genuine possibility of cosmetic surgery (though that is not always feasible or desired).

Of course, you may try to make the best of your situation and choose clothes, hairstyles, and makeup that best suit you…

..but there is a limit to how much more attractive these will make you.

And if your unattractiveness is partly due to lifestyle choices, these can be addressed.

In general, though, you will have to accept how you look in the here and now.

Though it may only help a little, you might need reminding that…

4. Even Attractive People Feel Ugly

Acceptance over how one looks is not only for people like you who know they are relatively ugly.

It turns out that insecurity about how we look is pretty common.

And whilst you may say that someone who averages a score of 5 or 6 out of 10 knows nothing of ugliness, it doesn’t lessen the angst they might feel.

A person’s self-image (part of their wider self-concept) won’t always match reality. So it’s not uncommon for the 6 to think they are a 2. Or for the 8 to think they are a 4.

In fact, many people probably under-rate their objective level of beauty quite considerably.

So those who are more attractive don’t necessarily have it much easier in the psychological department.

Sure, other people may view them as more attractive than you, but they may suffer just like you on the inside.

In fact, if how they see themselves differs greatly to how others see them, they may have a really hard time accepting this.

If you know that you are objectively unattractive, you probably have a tighter grip on reality than they do.

Keep this in mind and…

5. Don’t Be Jealous Or Envious Of More Attractive People

It’s easy to cast your eye at more outwardly beautiful people and feel jealousy and envy take hold of you.

They just seem to have all the luck, right?

Given that we judge people on appearance as soon as we meet them, it would seem reasonable that the more attractive you are, the more positively someone might feel about you.

But beyond snap judgements, our looks can only take us so far. They might help us get our foot in the door, but they can’t keep you in the room.

Personality is what people really latch onto and either like or dislike.

And in this respect, you are not at any obvious disadvantage.

There are attractive people who are quite horrible when you get to know them and there are ugly people who are charming and personable.

If you are forever looking with envy at those who might score above you in the looks department, you’ll never be able to truly accept yourself for who you are.

You can’t like and respect yourself while simultaneously wishing you were someone else.

This is also very important when it comes to…

6. Relationships For Ugly People

Is the dating scene harder for ugly people?

Possibly, though many people of all levels of attractiveness struggle with dating and relationships.

Again, you should try not to see your looks as a barrier to a happy and healthy relationship.

So how do you handle being ugly and dating?

You have to manage your expectations and remind yourself that looks aren’t everything in a partner.

In other words, you should probably be aiming to date someone who also sits at the lower end of the attractiveness scale.

That’s not defeatist. That’s realistic.

It just so happens that most people tend to end up in relationships with someone who is of a similar level of attractiveness.

So a 6 might end up with a 5 or a 7. An 8 might date anywhere between a 7 and a 10.

If you are objectively a 2 or a 3, you are probably better off looking for a partner who is also a 2, or a 3, or a 4.

Ask anyone who has been in a stable and committed relationship for many years what matters most in a partner and it 100% won’t be their looks.

It will be their personality, the fun you have with them, the kind things they do, the support they provide you.

If you worry that you won’t find them physically or sexually attractive enough, bear in mind that these things grow as you get to know someone.

So while you may look at a person on a first date and give a slight sigh and wish they were better looking, don’t instantly dismiss them as having zero potential as a partner.

After all, you would want other people to look past your appearance and give you a chance too, right?

Your attraction to them can grow just like their attraction to you can do likewise.

And dating those who are similarly as unattractive as you can have another benefit…

It can take away some of the self-consciousness you may have around your looks.

The pressure to overcome your appearance by projecting an image of confidence and happiness decreases because you both accept that looks probably aren’t going to be the driving factor in whether the date progresses to something more.

You can feel more at ease and allow your true and genuine personality to show itself instead of feeling the need to “make up” for your ugliness by pretending to be something you aren’t.

This is just one reason why you should…

7. Stop Focusing On Your Looks

Sure, it’s easier said than done, especially if you believe you are genuinely less attractive than most.

But by thinking about how ugly you are, you are likely to be negatively influencing your levels of satisfaction with life.

This is due to something called the focusing illusion.

Basically, by thinking about an area of your life that you are not so happy about, you taint the overall belief you have about how good or bad your life is.

This was shown in a unique study that asked people questionnaires about life satisfaction and body satisfaction.

One half were given the body satisfaction questionnaire first and the other answered the life satisfaction questionnaire first.

Those who were initially asked about their body satisfaction showed a greater variance in terms of life satisfaction.

This means that if a participant was satisfied with their appearance, they were more likely to report a higher level of satisfaction with their life.

But if a participant was not satisfied with their appearance, they gave a more negative assessment when it came to their life satisfaction.

To put it simply, if you don’t like how you look, thinking about it can put a real downer on how you generally feel about your life.

On the other hand, if you think about something that you like about yourself or your life, it can make you feel better about your life in general.

So as hard as might be, if you catch yourself thinking about your appearance, try to disrupt those thoughts and shift your mind to other things.

The less you can think about how ugly you might be, the less it will bring you down and the more positive you can remain about your life as a whole.

In fact, if you can practice gratitude each day and think about some of the things that you are truly thankful for, it can help you maintain a more positive outlook on life.

Speaking of outlooks, if you are young and ugly, it is worth considering the possibility that…

8. Ugliness Might Be A Phase

This section is mainly for those readers who are young and whose body and faces may still be changing at quite a rapid rate.

It’s true that during adolescence and young adulthood, we can experience a great deal of issues with regards to how we look.

With hormones raging through our bodies, we may have bad skin, acne, growth spurts, weight changes, early or delayed development of the body…

…not to mention facial features that are still finding their rightful positions.

And those same hormones can take our mood from high to low in an instant. This can make us feel worse about our appearance than we might otherwise do.

At this time of life, it’s important to remember that what you see in the mirror now might not be how things end up.

You might be going through what some people affectionately call an ‘ugly duckling’ phase and you might grow up to be far more attractive that you are now.

Heck, just look at some of these examples of people who have come through this phase.

So while this article is all about honesty and telling it like it is, you can still accept your current looks without accepting that this is how you will look when you’ve fully matured into an adult.

And if you do grow up to be less attractive than your peers, you might want to remember that there are…

9. There Are Benefits To Being Ugly

You may think that because you are ugly, you got a bad hand in life…

…but there are some upsides to being one of the less attractive people in the world.

– Aging is not something you worry about as much. Looks fade over time, but yours probably won’t change as much as most. And in comparison to others, you might even gain some ground in the beauty stakes.

– No one assumes you get by on your looks. They know damned well that you have more about you if you have managed to succeed in life.

– People like you for who you are, not what you look like. This must say something nice about your personality (assuming they aren’t after your money!)

– You don’t have to chase the latest fashion. Big name brands and the latest trends that cost the earth are just not worth bothering with. You can buy clothes that YOU feel comfortable in.

– You don’t have to spend ages taking the perfect selfie for Instagram.

– If you are a woman, other women do not see you as a threat to their self-esteem or their relationships and so might get on better with you.

– Ugly people are often underestimated. So when you show just how much talent you have, you get to enjoy the looks of astonishment on people’s faces. In doubt? You clearly haven’t heard of Susan Boyle.

– You’re not shallow. You can look beyond the appearance of other people. You don’t care if someone is ugly, you’ll give them the same opportunities as everyone else.

– If you’re an introvert, you’ll have to deal with fewer meaningless social interactions and less small talk.

10. Your Mind Is Your Most Powerful Tool

The fact of the matter is, whilst your ugliness may be skin deep, it can affect you to your very core.

And, yes, being ugly may influence how you go about your life and how others treat you.

But the best way to deal with it is to change how you think about it.

As was stated earlier, thinking about your appearance in a negative way can make you less positive about your life as a whole.

Yet, if you can accept how you look and see the positives it may bring, it can greatly improve your outlook.

Still not sure how to cope with being unattractive or feeling ugly? Talking to someone can really help you to address and fix this issue. It’s a great way to get your thoughts and your worries out of your head so you can work through them.

A therapist is often the best person you can talk to. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. They can guide you and help you to improve your self-esteem, self-belief, and self-confidence.

A good place to get professional help is the website BetterHelp.com – here, you’ll be able to connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message.

While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address. And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.

Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward.

Online therapy is actually a good option for many people. It’s more convenient than in-person therapy and is more affordable in a lot of cases. And you get access to the same level of qualified and experienced professional.

Click here if you’d like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started.

You’ve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. The best thing is to speak to a therapist. The next best thing is to implement everything you’ve learned in this article by yourself. The choice is yours.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What should you say when someone calls you ugly?

The best way to respond to such an ugly comment is with the beauty of your maturity and personality. Know that no matter how “ugly” you may be, your inner beauty is far more than the person who called you ugly. At the end of the day, that’s what truly matters – how you look on the inside.

Walk away knowing that their words cannot affect that.

It can be quite hurtful when someone calls you ugly, especially when you feel you’re looking pretty good. But the only thing that is ugly in such interactions is the unsolicited comment.

It might sound like a cliché, but beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. While you may not be everybody’s cup of tea, you will be beautiful to somebody.

It’s possible that your features are considered unattractive in your current environment, but they may be seen as appealing or attractive in other cultures.

Your features might even be ahead of the trend or fashion, but in a few years, people will undergo surgery to get what you have naturally.

Both scenarios are occurring in this day and time. So, while it may hurt to be called ugly and you may want to respond in kind, know that ultimately beauty is subjective and fleeting.

Why do I feel pretty sometimes and ugly others?

There are many reasons why you sometimes feel pretty on certain days and ugly on others. It could be because you are not looking or feeling your best. Maybe you are having an allergic reaction, which is making your face break out in rashes or pimples. Who knows, it could even be because you’re standing in front of a mirror that makes everyone look ugly.

Most often, though, our opinions regarding our looks are based on our mood or emotions. Have you ever noticed that you tend to think you look ugly when you’re not feeling confident or have had a bad day?

In contrast, your opinion on your looks probably changes positively when you’re happy, feeling confident, or loved, like at the start of a new relationship or after a big promotion.

Did your face morph into different features? Have you mysteriously grown new features? Most likely not.

When you’re feeling better about yourself in general, your opinion of your looks is likely to be more positive. So, the next time you feel ugly, pay attention to your overall mood. If you notice you’re not in a good place mentally, engage in self-care and sort it out.

Once you’re able to do that, your perception of what you see in the mirror will probably improve.

Why is my side profile so ugly?

The reason you think your side profile is so ugly is because you need to work on improving your self-esteem. You must realize that people who genuinely like and love you probably don’t even see the imperfection you’re fixated on.

Many of us have grown up aspiring to meet Eurocentric beauty standards that were not designed for our unique features. It might interest you to know that many people with Eurocentric features rarely fit into these same beauty standards. In fact, many of the models and celebrities we compare ourselves to are so photoshopped in magazines and movies that when we see them in real life, they don’t look like what you see in the bright lights. This goes to show that even they don’t fit the beauty standards that they are perpetuating.

You feel your side profile is ugly because you’re aspiring for something you were never created to meet and fixating on your seeming imperfection. Because of these two factors, your profile becomes uglier and uglier in your mind. If you haven’t already, you might come to conclude that plastic surgery is your only option to fix your profile.

Whether a nose job is the solution to fixing your profile is debatable. But one thing is certain: if you do not work on your self-esteem, even if you get the surgery, you still won’t be satisfied.

So, while contemplating surgery, also work on boosting your self-esteem and accepting yourself, imperfections and all.

Why do I look ugly in pictures?

It’s hard to enjoy taking pictures at social events when you generally look ugly in them. Everyone is so eager to crowd into the frame, while you inch for the background or slyly try to get out of the frame right as the photographer presses click.

It can be jarring to see a picture of yourself when you’re used to what you look like when you see your reflection in the mirror.

Our brain, and the way it interprets and communicates information, is actually to blame for this. Whether we’re looking at ourselves in the mirror or looking at other people, our brains do a lot of compensating to present a corrected, fluid representation of what we’re looking at. For example, while we are able to distinguish between tiny, minute differences in frames presented in high succession, our brains do not pay attention to every single piece of information our eyes present it with.

When we’re talking to people, we don’t notice each individual facial expression that crosses their face from moment to moment. We don’t see every twitch of an eye or facial muscle that occurs during our discussion. Rather, our brains average these out and ignore temporary deviations. A camera, however, does not do this. It captures every twitch and spasm, including those you wouldn’t have noticed in real-time.

Cameras also don’t automatically compensate for lighting like our brains do to allow our eyes to see better. While our brains process images for the best contrast, cameras capture images with shades and light that not only look unnatural but also unflattering as well. If you think using a flash will help matters, you’d be wrong. Flashes often make a person’s skin look shiny and greasy and sharpen the edges of their face.

So, if you think you look ugly in pictures, the real culprit for that is your massive, powerful brain.

We really do recommend that you seek professional help from one of the therapists at BetterHelp.com as professional therapy can be highly effective in helping you to cope with the feelings of being ugly.

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How To Deal With Being Ugly – Practical guide To Embrace Your True Self

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Growing up you might have been told many times that you are ugly. Among the enormous number of bounties blessed by nature, a pretty face is one of the jewels. But, not every human on this planet has been blessed with an attractive face and good looks.

Here comes the question “How to deal with being ugly?”

Especially in the age of social media, there are thousands of images out there that are going to make you feel like the ugliest one and trigger your insecurity. Being ugly is not an easy job. But what does being ugly means and how to deal with being ugly?

It’s time to rethink a few things. Here are some practical ways to deal with being ugly:

19 Practical Ways To Deal With Being Ugly

You can work on your physical fitness. You can simply groom your personality. You can seek help from professional mentors to build self-confidence but there’s more to it. Keep reading if you need to stop feeling ugly.

1. Look Objectively:

People have different tastes, and they are culturally relative. But a few features are considered universally attractive.

The average face is one of them.

Having an average face is considered more beautiful, and the reason involves some science. Average faces are common, and they look familiar due to which we develop an instant liking for them. They are conventional.

Mathematically, an average face is a symmetrical face, which means that the left and right sides of the face are similar and proportionate to each other.

You might be a unique looking human being with non-conventional features, but chances are people are always going to rate you low when it com

es to beauty. This is what bothering you and hitting your self-esteem. Remember that you have no control over such societal norms, and there is nothing much you can do about it.

The attraction is also dependent on your health, fitness, and genetics.

Again this is something which you can’t control. The only thing you can control is the way you feel about it. Accepting your reality is the key. Be at peace with the way you look. Once you do, you wouldn’t be resenting your parents for the way you look.

2. Work on Your Physical Fitness

Invest a good amount of time in taking care of your body. Let your body breathe through exercise and yoga. Take care of your eating habits. Keep into account your sleeping patterns and sleep cycles. Practice good personal hygiene.

If you are chubby, you will have to avoid things that can cause more weight gain. Shred some weight by jogging and exercise. Join a gym and seek help from professional trainers that will help you lose weight.

If you are skinny and you are trying to gain weight to look attractive, do so by eating healthy and weight gaining items as per your nutritionist recommendation.

Be consistent and try to keep your mind calm and relax as everything takes time.

3. Stop comparing

If you keep on comparing your looks with your more attractive friends or celebrities, then you are never going to move on. You will waste plenty of time and energy feeling jealous and envious of others, which is going to take you nowhere.

It is only going to make you feel worse. You might be thinking that your attractive counterparts are luckier than you, and they have a better opportunity of being successful. But numerous studies have suggested otherwise.

Beautiful people might be just as unhappy as the rest of the population.

To cope with feeling ugly about your looks and facial features, you have to accept yourself the way you are. Do it and you are done dealing with it. As the saying goes, “beauty lies in the eye of the beholder” and this saying pretty much satisfies how you feel about yourself.

For an instance, think that you are unattractive and ugly. Now, feel distressed about yourself. Does that change anything? I am pretty sure not So, how about the idea of self-acceptance and compassion for yourself?

4. Groom Yourself

If you need to stop feeling ugly, you’ll have to groom yourself. Grooming yourself means maintaining yourself in every aspect. From brushing teeth to dressing up, you have to stay updated with the ongoing trends and fashion.

Here are some tips to improve your personality by grooming:

5. Keep Calm and Ignore Bullies

If being called ugly triggers your anger and make you feel upset and agitated, you need to calm your nerves. Some people should better not be responded because they are simply ridiculous. They don’t deserve our attention. They should better be ignored. Your character is more important than your sick mindset.

6. Give Bullies a Shut-Up Call

People trying to lower morale and self-esteem must be given a shut-up call. They set themselves on a mission to brag about their looks and point out flaws in others. You might have been a victim of such bullies. Sometimes, instead of being calm, all you have to do while dealing with such sick-minded people is to give them a shut-up call.

Tell them, who are they to make you feel low? who are they to play with your insecurities?

They are no one. I repeat, NO ONE!

7. Value Your Opinion

Always value what you think about yourself. You have the rightful authority to stand up and speak for yourself. Always try to think and feel that I may be ugly for people but I am beautiful the way I am. I know who I am. A human with a kind heart and harmless intentions.

8. Use Perfectly Imperfect Strategy

God has blessed every individual on this planet with different body physique, features, and skin tone. You might encounter some people who will constantly tell you that you have a big nose and wide ears. They may come up saying that you are not enough beautiful like others.

But you can always respond and say, “I am perfectly imperfect and that’s okay. Look’s will give you nothing when you have an ugly heart and nose pointing in others life”

9. Practice Self Love

Self-love is way more important than we can imagine. People will tell you a list of things that are not so good about you or do not look great as per your looks.

But, how about you make a list that suits you, that goes with your personality, that you love doing and makes you happy.

Instead of focusing on what people tell you, take a look in the mirror and start thinking about yourself. You might love to do makeup, dress up, style your hair, dance, do sports or make funny videos. Whatever it is, just start practicing it.

10. Change your Beauty Mindset

Beauty standards are set by the people around you or the society you live in. It can be a tall height, fair skin tone with blonde hair.

It can be a short height, Asian skin tone with black hairs. But you need to set your beauty standard as John Keats said, “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder”. Your beauty lies in the way you treat people, not in your looks.

11. Do a Positive Self-Talk

Feed your mind with positive thoughts when someone tries to affect your self-image and self-confidence. Build up your mind from the roots and try to nurture them on daily basis.

Setting positive affirmations can do wonders. For Example,

Place these cards on your room walls and bathroom mirror so that it keeps reminding you who you are.

12. Build your Self Confidence

Imagine yourself being called ugly and you instantly start wondering if that’s true or not? But you know what is the most important thing that you should take into account while dealing with such bullies?

Let me tell you, how you feel about yourself is the most important. You don’t need to respond in anger but with a clear and calm mind.

Tell them that not everyone has good taste when it comes to personality. Tell them they need to try harder next time while bullying someone with their looks.

13. Be Honest and Take Responsibility

Taking responsibility for everything that you possess can make your life much easier than before. Your successes and failures, your happiness and unhappiness, and everything else that has happened in your life solely depend on the fact that you are responsible for it.

By responsibility, I mean to say that how to take actions, how you respond, and how you react to it.

Stay honest with yourself because accepting yourself isn’t enough. The actual journey starts when you have to take action for your transformed life.

14. Be Around Positive People

Surround yourself with true friends and people who can make you feel at peace. People who value you and your opinion, respect you and your choices, support you no matter what.

Friends like a family, leaving no stone unturned to make you happy and enjoy being around you.

Stay away from people who try to point out your insecurities and play with them.

15. Seek Professional Support

If you are struggling to deal with being ugly, you need to see a therapist or a professional psychiatrist. This struggle may lead to anxiety and depression. Coping with such a miserable situation isn’t easy for some people.

Consult a therapist and talk out whatever is bothering you. Ask them for suggestions and ways to deal with it.

Speak your heart about how can you deal with this situation when people bully you, insult you, demean you and make you suffer from an inferiority complex.

16. Talk to an Adult:

Sometimes, you have to seek refuge in the people you trust. Your mother, father, teacher, or your spiritual leader can truly help you get out of this situation.

These people might have gone through such experiences in their life and they would be in a better position to lend you a listening ear. Their advice will surely help you out to deal with people trying to hurt you.

17. Develop More Successful Relationships:

This is the most important thing you need to read about how to deal with being ugly. You might be self-loathing that relationships are a no-go area for you, but this not true! It is only a surface level assumption that no one wants to date ugly people.

Understanding and personality are more important traits than looks when it comes to committing to a relationship.

There is plenty of room for you to score there. However, one-night stands and hook-ups might be a little harder for you.

According to a new study published in the journal Psychological Science, levels of attractiveness matters less than the quality of the relationship.

You can be as happy in your relationship as attractive people.

18. Stay Focused

This implies that looks aren’t everything. They are not worth all your time and energy. The only thing necessary is to be healthy, hygienic, and fit. Excessively assessing your looks shows tendencies of narcissism.

When you realize that being ugly doesn’t have much impact on your lifestyle, that’s when you can shift your focus on the more important stuff in your life.

How To Accept Your Looks?

Now let us discuss how to accept your looks so that you can gain full control over your thoughts and their outcomes.

1. Don’t believe in media-defined beauty standards

If you continue to keep following the models on Instagram and scrolling through the feed majority of your day, then you will never develop any self-esteem because the entire media world is a potential threat to your self-image. It is going to keep throwing all those photo-shopped, picture-perfect imageries of models and their perfect lifestyle.

The first thing to do is to stop following such pages and spending a greater amount of your time-consuming media because chances are you are still going to come across some. Stop believing and equating media portrayals of beauty as realistic or ideal.

Know that in the digital world majority of things we encounter are altered. You don’t have to fit in necessarily.

2. Stop labeling yourself

If you are defining yourself merely by the way you look, then you are restricting and reducing yourself and your potential. Focus on more critical aspects of your being like your intelligence and personality.

3. Don’t alter your looks

If you want to accept the way you then stop playing with your looks for a day or two and do not try to modify or enhance them through makeup or styling. This is how you are going to be confident about your real self.

4. Don’t use mirror excessively

If you want to be distracted by the way you look and focus on better stuff, then you have to take a break from the mirror for some time because a mirror is a physical reminder of your looks. Do not spend hours in front of the mirror, trying to analyze your looks. It is just a waste of time. Be productive with your time, like putting effort into enhancing skills instead of finding ways to increase your looks.

Advantages of Being Ugly – Look at the Bright Side

There are some advantages to being ugly as stated below that will make you realize how to deal with being ugly is better than sulking over your looks.

1. People will like you for who you are

This is the most significant advantage of not being conventionally pretty. Extremely beautiful people rarely encounter someone with a genuine liking for them. The majority of people are driven towards them due to their physical beauty, and they do not look beyond it, which is a sad part of being conventionally pretty. In your case, you can relax and be sure about the fact that anyone who comes into your life has a genuine liking for your company or personality instead of something materialistic. For you, it is easier to develop real connections.

2. You don’t have to waste your time on pretentious stuff

Being attractive comes with its expectations. You have to maintain and groom to look at your best self and meet expectations that society has from beautiful people. However, if you are not conventionally pretty then, you don’t have to be high-maintenance about your looks. You can rock on your comfy look without worrying too much about makeup or any add-ons.

3. You can focus more on health

Instead of focusing on your looks, you can focus on your health that is more important than anything else. You can spend time on your fitness and following and healthy diet instead of deciding which new color palette will suit your trendy look. This doesn’t mean you can’t be a fashion enthusiast. It only means that you are not obliged to be one.

What Does Being Ugly Means?

As far as the first point is concerned, being ugly is rarely possible. There are some medical conditions and biological deformities that can make you appear ugly, but that’s not commonly a possibility for the majority.

Chances are you are letting the standards of society dictating your self-image.

If society considers white complexion as a symbol of beauty and you are pretty dark-skinned, then it is not unusual to witness being ridiculed by depictions of mass media and remarks of people surrounding you. The list is not just limited to the white complexion, but it goes on and on and is culturally relative as well.

What is considered as a symbol of beauty may be looked down upon in another culture?

Beauty is subjective, and it cannot be narrowed down to a few features. It depends on numerous factors. It is not just physical but also an inner one.

You might not look like a Victoria Secret model or have a super-human muscular body, but your personality can hold charm more than any of it.

It all boils down to the way you carry yourself and your level of confidence. It is a famous saying that no one can shame you about who you are if you stopped being ashamed of who you are by owning your reality. This is how to deal with being ugly in the long run.

6 Pro’s & Cons of Being an Ugly Person

Being the one bullied, you might be thinking how come this situation has upsides while downsides are pretty understandable.

Pros:

Let’s talk about the Pros of being an ugly guy or a girl.

1.Long-Lasting Relationships

People are less likely to fall for your attractive looks and figure than your personality. Those who develop their relationships with ugly people want to make a heart-to-heart connection that lasts forever. Someone has rightly said, “Beauty fades but Character remains”

2. Attractive People are also Unhappy

Psychologists and researchers say that beautiful people are as unhappy as the rest of the ugly and unattractive people. Personality comes into play while talking about the pros of being an ugly guy.

3. Less Likely to be Cheated

Ugly peeps are less likely to cheat in a relationship because fewer people want to date their ugly counterparts. They have higher chances of developing a successful long-term relationship.

Cons:

Alas! Being an ugly creature does have its downsides. Let’s not beat about the bush and discuss a few cons of being an ugly guy or girl:

1.Struggle to Develop Relationships:

Ugly people struggle to make relationships. They face rejections and cruel remarks about their looks and their overall body physique.

2. More Chances of Bullying

Ugly people are more likely to be bullied and harassed.

3. More likely to Face Rejections

Being an ugly coworker, your colleagues might not feel like hanging out with you because of the way you look. Ugly peeps also face rejections while getting jobs and interacting with customers.

FAQ on Being Ugly?

How do I look more attractive?

Keep Your Teeth, White. Go For A Voluminous Hair Style. Deal with Your Skin. Have Red Lipstick Handy. Furthermore, Put On That Red Dress.

How can I be naturally pretty?

Drink Plenty Of Water. Rest In Peace. Be Ingredient Conscious. Working Out To Healthier Skin. Adhere To A Consistent Skin Care Routine. Peeling Is Key. Make Sunscreen Mandatory.

What makes skin shiny?

On the off chance that you find that your brow is sparkly by noon, you can accuse your overactive sebaceous organs. They produce the sebum or oil that makes your skin look sparkly.

How can I look smart?

Get thinner. Be seen as a nondrinker. Wear thick glasses. Wear an unobtrusive grin. Never swear. Look and take a gander at individuals. Utilize a center starting.

Am I Ugly?

In fact, if you type “am I” into Google, the first suggestion that is offered to you is “am I ugly?”

Attitudes towards appearance are one of the main reasons why people are being bullied. In fact, in Ditch the Label’s 2019 Annual Bullying Survey, 59% of young people said that their appearance was the reason they were bullied.

This is not a new question. Unobtainable beauty ideals have us questioning our self-worth, based on our appearance, on a daily basis probably since the beginning of humanity.

For example in Ancient Greece, beauty standards were that men had to be buff and glossy, while women were seen as most attractive when they had red hair and a fuller-figured body. While during Victorian times, a pale face with rosy cheeks was seen as the most ‘beautiful’. These ideals and standards have changed many times over the past 1000s of years.

In 2013, a YouTube trend emerged called “Am I Ugly or Pretty?” whereby, teen girls uploaded videos of themselves asking viewers exactly that. Following this, the internet answered the question in all its force and pulled no punches.

Even in 2022, these questions are often asked on places such as Instagram, Reddit and TikTok.

This question is one that matters and is something that nearly all of us will ask ourselves at some point during our lives.

So, let’s answer it!

Are you ugly or pretty?

Am I ugly because people keep saying it to me?

No, the danger is when you are called ugly enough times you start to believe it might be true.

Am I ugly because I’m single?

No, you are not single because you are ugly, and being in a relationship doesn’t make you beautiful.

Am I ugly because I keep thinking about it?

No, so please stop telling yourself you are, our thoughts very quickly become our reality.

Am I ugly because I was dumped?

No, you were NOT dumped because you are ugly, the relationship ended and that’s ok – give yourself some time and space to heal.

Am I ugly because I’m looking different?

No, your body is just changing and you are still growing into it.

Am I ugly because I have bad skin?

No, having bad skin does not make you unattractive and is totally normal.

Am I ugly because I don’t look as pretty as a model?

No, it’s ok to not look like a model. Turns out they are the only ones that do and they make up a teeny tiny amount of the population.

Am I ugly because I’m big?

No, your dress size does not determine your beauty, case in point: Tess Holiday.

Am I ugly because my friends keep saying so?

No, they are telling you that because they are scared that they aren’t good enough and have their own fears of being ugly, this doesn’t have to be your fear as well.

Am I ugly because I feel it?

No, your self-esteem has just gotten a little too low and needs rebuilding, have a look at our support guide for tips on how to begin rebuilding your self-confidence here.

Am I ugly compared to everyone else?

No, when we compare ourselves we always come off feeling worse, to compare is to despair so stop comparing.

Am I ugly because I am fat?

No, your weight is how much your body physically weighs full stop. Every single object, mineral, plant or animal on this planet has a weight. It is what we as humans equate with this number that forces us to connect beauty with weight. There is no such thing as a ‘beautiful weight’ or an ‘ugly weight.’ There is a healthy weight and that is different for everyone.

Am I ugly because I was rejected?

No, everyone experiences rejection in all its painful forms and it does not make you unattractive. Looking for ways to deal with rejection?

Am I ugly?

No, even if you have never ever felt anything but ugly your whole life right up until now that is still not proof that you are. Here’s the secret and I know because I am talking from experience, just like happiness it is all an inside job. So if you want to start changing how you feel we have some tips to help you start here.

So does that answer the question of your attractiveness? Because there is no answer. We can never tell what is ‘ugly’ and what is ‘beautiful’ because the meaning of these terms has been changing since we first started communicating with one another.

If you aren’t feeling great about your appearance right now and need someone to talk to, Ditch the Label is here for you. Join our community and talk to us here.